ROUGH LEBEOUF IS EVERYWHERE
05.22.08
After the jump I’ve got the teaser trailer for Eagle Eye, which premiered last night before Indy. The thrilling thrill-a-minute thriller stars Shia Lebeouf, Billy Bob Thornton, Michelle Monaghan, and Rosario Dawson, and comes from director DJ Caruso.
Caruso previously directed Disturbia, which I never saw, and Salton Sea, which was awesome. It had Vincent D’Onofrio wearing a pig nose while reenacting the Kennedy assassination using pigeons and a bb gun. That’s way more creative than I was as a kid. Mostly I just rubbed my G.I. Joes together and made sounds like they were having sex. I knew they were both boys, but I had no choice because it’s not like I had Barbies lying around. What do I look like, some kind of fag?
Also starring Shia Lebeouf, "No!"
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Two chicks i’d like to bang balls deep and two actors i’d let suck me off without keeping my eyes…i smell a hit!
*closed*
Fucking meth.
He looks so mature and brooding, like Snagglepuss with less testosterone.
Kurgan, we missed your intellectual rants!
Shia calls for help after Michelle tells him to put it in her vagina, and therefore confuses the shit out of him.
I am so tired of Shiat already.
I might be inclined to post more intellectual stuff if i didn’t have this constant erection.
and that is why we love you
The bottle said that if i had an erection that lasted longer than four hours that i needed to consult my physician, but all he said was "You lucky fucker" before he hung up on me.
Guy on phone: It’s easy, Shia…boy meets girl!
Shia: Huh? W-w-what???
Guy on phone: Ugh! Remember what the janitor in junior high used to do to your ass?
Shia: Yeah, that was great!
Guy on phone: Well, do that to her "Whisker Biscuit".
Shia: Her w…
Guy on phone: You’ll see. Dor sho gha!
Ruff LeBeouf is what we call the dog!
Is this a remake of a Marty Feldman movie? Cock Eyed.
shee-ah gets a movie with michelle monaghan now!? god i want to poke him in they eye with a flaming steel spear!
Michelle Monaghan looks like the girls I used to snog in college. Not quite hot, not quite ugly. Just average enough to crush their self-esteems.
Why does everything seem like everything else these days? Anyone remember this gem starring Michael Douglas?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119174/
Is that the girl from kiss kiss bang bang? I’d like to…No, too obvious.
thats shia lebouff he’s so hot right now!!
At least this version doesn’t star Michael Douglas.
FACT:
Shitty’s parents used to sell hotdogs at the swap meat dressed as clowns and made him dance.
True Story: if you tell Shia LeBeouf to shake his money maker, he will blow a raspberry at you.
The only convincing Thriller starring LeBarf is whether he goes for the skinny hazel mocha or the and iced latte…
I can’t stand the tension. CHOOSE ALREADY!
BTK I’m starting a new thing, inaddition to FUCK MIKE! We now have:
FUCK INDY!
FACT: Shia’s mom was impregnated by a gay llama.
No, no, Bryce…FUCK MUTT
S!To be honest, I’d like to see Shia in a Mexploitation film.
Shia would never be able to stand up to Wedge and Mr. Big.
The first time I remember seeing Shia was when he was promoting Holes and he said in an interview that his name roughly translated means "where’s the beef". Now when I see him, I get a serious hankerin’ for Burger King.
But “Where’s the Beef?” was from Wendy’s . . .
Looks like La Femme Nikita without the tits and testosterone. Maybe La Femme LeShia?
Shia’s starring in a Kid and Play remake called Tea Party.
You don’t see enough business men sporting the VanDyke ‘Stache
He’ll follow it up with the sequel House Warming.
Shia stars as kid’s hair.
Merchandising idea: clay Kid heads that grow a sweet grass ‘fro. Shia pet.
I know. I know, but when paired with Kid’s eraserhead, it could NOT be avoided.
But I got you out of hiding, Steve. Maybe that was my intent. Did you ever think of that??
New up with more Spielberg sodomy…
BTK why does Michelle Monaghan look like she is Shia’s Mom?
It’s not that she is old, more that he looks like the Junior High kid I molest every morning at the bus stop…
Nice job, Chino. I stick my head up for 1 freakin’ minute and BLAMMO!
"roof" Le Poof again? goddamit. i havent been watching american idol. is he our latest patriotic-heart-throb? do i have to show my love for this icon by masturbating, or can i just strangle myslelf?
i don’t want to break any rules, here, americo.