The best thing about the MTV Movie Awards is always the short parody films, and with Mike Myers hosting this year, the hilarity is sure to be broughten. If you don’t believe me, just check out this clip.

She has a Thirty Odd Foot of Grunts tattoo – get it?  She likes the band that Russell Crowe is in because she is Australian (you can tell by the Australian flag and crocodile Dundee hat in the background) and Russell Crowe is also Australian, so of course she likes him, because they are both Australian.  So awesome!  And guess what else!  Wheat gives Russell Crowe diarrhea!  “He’s on the dunnie for hours,” she says.  Get it?  She said “dunnie” because that’s an Australian word.  Isn’t that hilarious?  Oh gosh, my sides need a rest. 

I might hit that.  I’m just sayin’. 

Fred Durst has directed a film called The Longshots, starring Ice Cube, based on the heartwarming true story of the 11-year-old girl who quarterbacked her team to the Pop Warner tournament, the first girl ever to play in it.  Ice Cube plays the girl’s ne’er-do-well, former football player uncle who coaches her to success.  I can’t believe I just wrote that.  Even if that were the plot synopsis of a South Park episode I’d swear I was on mescaline.

Seriously, I didn’t just hear tinkling pianos and soaring crescendoes behind a movie directed by the former lead singer of a band named after a circle jerk game starring the writer of “Fuck Tha Po’lice”, did I?  Someone tell me I’m just really fucked up right now.  Preferably the movie voice-over guy.

(trailer after the jump)
Read the rest of this entry »

This picture comes courtesy of an Entertainment Weekly gallery of tattoos featuring famous people.  They provide no background information, but it would seem a rather portly gentleman had the idea of getting Patrick Swayze in centaur form tattooed on his calf.  The artwork’s not great, but the Swayze Centaur is definitely my new power animal.

Sidenote: My more modest instincts tell me they didn’t steal the famous people-animals hybrid idea from the Buseywolf or the Yokotortoise, but you never know.

Yesterday I reported on rumblings that Tobey Maguire wouldn’t be back for Spider-Man 4 and 5, and that the studio had a couple douchingtons in mind as possible replacements. 

Today someone in the know claims those stories were totally bogus.

Head of Media Relations for Sony/Columbia Pictures Steve Elzer told the IESB today that the Fugit story is 100% false and added, "No one is being considered for the role but Tobey. Period."

And with that, the six people still interested in another Spider-Man movie collectively mouth breathed a sigh of relief. In related news, if I were Spider-Man I would definitely shout "SKEET SKEET!" every time I shot my webbing.  

Synecdoche New York is the directing debut of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, which is about all I need to know in order to have a raging nerd boner over it. No release date is set yet, but it premiered at Cannes last week.

As you can see, the poster’s just been released and it features Phillip Seymour Hoffman presiding over a pretty hefty to-do list.  I mean, I’m assuming it’s Phillip Seymour Hoffman – any second it could slowly turn around and… Surprise, it’s the Cryptkeeper! You’d forgotten about me since the early 90s, hadn’t you my pretties!  *maniacal cackling*

[Picture Source = IonCinema]