MOVE OVER, CARMEN ELECTRA
05.30.08Today it’s being reported that Elizabeth Berkley will bring her unique acting talents to S. Darko, the sequel to Donnie Darko in which the only returning cast member is Donnie Darko’s younger sister Samantha, who I can’t even remember. I will bet my entire paycheck this goes straight to DVD.
Berkley plays a speed freak-turned-Jesus freak whose sentiments about ridding the world of its exponential sin [as opposed to linear sin, I suppose – Ed.] are rivaled only by her infatuation with her dreamy pastor. [THR]
No word yet on whether she’ll be utilizing the “I’m so excited” style of acting as seen above, or the “flailing retard orgasm” style of acting as seen in this NWS clip (google image search also highly recommended). If you’ve never had a flailing retard orgasm, you’ve pretty much never had sex.
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"Flailing Retard Orgasm"? That’s J’s finishing move in the Retard MMA!
If you’ve never had a flailing retard orgasm, you’ve pretty much never had sex.
I’m a little confused. Is that supposed to mean that I’m supposed to bring all the flailing retards I bang to orgasm or that I’m supposed to look like a flailng retard when I orgasm?
So Liz is playing the Swayze character, but with less child molestation. UNTIL S. Darko ‘exposes’ her performance in Showgirrrrlz!
Hell yeah. It’s the Retard MMA version of a belly to belly suplex.
More Child Molestation < Less Child Molestation
I will bet my entire paycheck this goes straight to DVD.
I’ll take that bet, it’s money in the bag, baby. Ooh, I can almost taste all seven of those McDonald’s double cheeseburgers now!
Ha, my entire paycheck can buy like 4 of those DVDs anyway.
I wouldn’t have been able to keep a straight face if I were that dude, McClovin’ or whatever the fuck his C-list name is. A straight dick, no problem, but not the face.
After taxes, of course. And child support, and Federal tax leins, and 401k.
Hey, if there’s something from Saved By the Bell that I remember from Elizabeth Berkley, it’s that she is excellent at playing the know-it-all bitch who only barely contains her desire to start jumping on dicks. Of course, I discovered Saved By the Bell about the same time as I discovered my penis, so I read sexuality into everything. Every time Zack took one of his ‘asides’ and everybody else froze while he could still talk, guess what I always thought that would be cool for…
I almost let Lisa Turtle out of my basement when I read this.
If Tiffany Amber Thighsarenice would’ve gotter her aftermarket titties while still on Saved, I wouldn’t have ever left my room.
The chick who played Tori will star in the unemployment line.
Top Chef > Step It Up and Dance
HAHAHA turtle.
The Mighty Fek’lhr almost rented Donnie Darko the other day. Then Kahless forshakked on Him. :(
So…how long until Dustin Diamond does a porno with Chyna called "Saved by the Click"?
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She’s still cute but she’s a poker whore now. Although thinking about it, sex with me is a lot like Hold ‘Em. There’s the flop, then the turn, and finally the river, after which she takes all my money off the table.
Stinky, you need a time machine! Of course, The Mighty Fek’lhr was just about to bank ol’ Grethor around the sun to go back in time and give Lynne Spears a few more wire coathangers to help emphasize the point. Hop on in!