Thor and his sidekick, Professor Codpiece

After one weekend, Iron Man‘s already an unqualified success.  So now of course Marvel’s going to make 50 shitty comic book movies.  That’s the thing about Hollywood, you give them and inch, and they’ll make you hate that inch’s fucking guts, and despise anything vaguely inch-like.  Hmm, you know, the way I wrote that wasn’t as gay-sounding as I’d like.  I’m gonna let Variety take over.

After a boffo bow for its first pic, "Iron Man," Marvel Studios has skedded a series of superhero follow-ups through 2011.

Ahh, much better.  Besides Iron Man 2, Marvel has plans for Thor with Matthew Vaughn (of Layer Cake and Stardust fame) at the helm; The First Avenger: Captain America scheduled for May 6, 2011 with Matthew McConaughey rumored to star (never gonna happen); and The Avengers, which will team up Iron Man, the Hulk, Captain America, and Thor, and is being written by Zak Penn. (Based on a totally different comic book than that other Avengers movie that no one saw).

Every time a decent superhero movie comes out Hollywood thinks they’re the end-all automatic blockbuster.  I tried to do a post about the Top Ten Superhero movies last week, and you know what?  I couldn’t think of ten.  Because superhero movies usually blow.  But it’s easy to forget movies like Elektra, Daredevil, Catwoman, The Fantastic Four, Pluto Nash, Meteor Man, Osmosis Jones, Tank Girl, any Superman after Superman 2…etc. To refresh your memory of how superhero movies usually turn out, I’m including a fun little compilation of clips from Batman and Robin after the jump. 

Every studio exec should be forced to watch this movie – with their eyes taped open like Clockwork Orange if necessary.