Yay, we were all the winnng sperm!

Lots of people comment on FilmDrunk, and every once in a while, someone’s makes a funny. Each week, I honor those special Drunkards.  Nominate a funny comment for next week’s "Comments of the Week" HERE (post is hidden, so bookmark it).

Well folks, I’m not going to waste your time with a lot of foreplay, because to be honest, last week wasn’t your best.  Hey, we all have our off days. Or at least that’s what I tell the hookers.  …With my fists!  *sigh*

Gotta go with my hetero mancrush chodin this week for explaining exactly what the sticking point was in the Indy script:

Spielberg: "Look George, I don’t want to offend you- but it is fucking absurd for Indiana Jones to land in the jungle on the back of a griffin." 

I’m a sucker for absurdism.  I also thought there was a certain understated charm to this one:

Chodin says: "George Lucas’ thinking cap is an upside down pot."

The same post was also the site of Sadpanda‘s return to the Comments of the Week section:

In conclusion George Lucas sleeps in a racecar bed and gets his ideas from a twelve year old boy he is banging. "I promise I will put Aliens in Indiana Jones, now give Master Lucas a kiss on his wookie."

I thought that was funny when I first read it – the more I imagine it, not so much. In the Twilight Trailer thread, Stinky Peet proves there’s still room for truth in comedy.

From this point forward, I move we refer to this film as Dawson’s Crypt.

Done and done. And where would we be without a couple Jacktion! puns?  I groan because you’re clever.

[From the M. Night Shyamalan thread] Shyamalan should make a movie set in the 50′s, so the Twist at the end of the movie could be sung by Chubby Checker.

[From the Mr. Big Won't Die thread]  Sarah Jessica Parker? More like Sarah Jessica Barker! Am I right?

*holds hand up for a high five*

Up high! Anybody? Anyone? Barker, because she’s a dog! C’mon!

*sigh*

Okay, I guess that second one wasn’t really a pun.  But it did make me groan.  Moving on, next up were the Will Smith/Welcome to Earff comments (Hancock thread).

Craptastic says, "Will had had enough kids and when Jada ended up preggers again, he kicked her in the stomach and yelled, "Partial Birff! 

Donkey Hodey says, "Will Smiff was seen on Antiques Roadshow shouting at the announcer ‘WHAT IS DIS WORFF?’" 

I definitely heard Will Smith’s voice in my head on that second one.  

[From the Swing Vote trailer thread] Stone Soup says, "I think Brian Setzer will be buying a ticket to this movie under false pretenses."

[From the Jonah Hill/Transformers thread]  JHC says, "Jonah Hill’s vehicle/robot would be an AMC Pacer and his name would be SpareTire."

[From the MTV Movie Awards thread]  Watanabex says, "This is the Epic Movie/Meet the Spartans of Awards shows – instead of thinking about categories and who did an outstanding job or putting some miniscule amount of intelligence into this, they just nominate whoever they can remember."

Word.