YAHOO REPORTS ON JIM CARREY’S BALLS
04.30.08
Here’s the Yahoo News story accompanying the picture to your left.
We’ve seen Jim Carrey green. We’ve seen him edgy. We’ve seen him dumb (and dumber). But we’ve never seen him, um, packing. We know very little about his role in the upcoming comedy I Love You Phillip Morris, except that he obviously plays a character with very large cojones. And an affinity for Italian designers.
To paraphrase: "We don’t know much about what’s going on other than Jim Carrey’s balls look really big. You can’t see the actual balls because we cropped the picture at his chest, but trust us, they’re there." Awesome, solid work. They must’ve gone to the Fuck It Check Somewhere Else School of Journalism (Alumnus, class of ’04). I’ve included the full picture below (Jim Carrey’s balls don’t actually look that big, but Yahoo is run by spider monkeys).
Here’s the breakdown of the movie:
Based on a book by Houston Chronicle crime reporter Steve McVicker, the fact-based film casts Carrey as Steven Russell, a married father whose exploits landed him in the Texas criminal justice system. He fell madly in love with his cellmate, who eventually was set free, which led Russell to escape from Texas prisons four times. Ewan McGregor and Leslie Mann co-star. [ComingSoon]
The movie was written and directed by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa, who previously scripted Bad Santa, a guilty pleasure of mine (probably number four behind autoerotic asphyxiation). Anyway, keep up the great work, Yahoo.
[Picture source = TheBadandUgly, obviously]

Cucumber in foil. They all do it
I fell in love with my cell mate once. But when she started to decompose, so did the magic.
Maybe some of you Other Men’s Big Balls experts can enlighten me as to otherwise, but if a pair of balls are going to be classed as big then shouldn’t they actually, y’know, look big? I can’t see anything. Fucking Yahoo!
This movie sounds gay. Literally.
Dear Diary. Spent 5 minutes studying a photo of Jim Carrey’s ballbags. My life is fantastic.
Dear Dairy. Just the one pint of semi-skimmed tomorrow and half a dozen eggs if you’ve got ‘em.
The fine journalists at Yahoo just think that looks huge because Yahoo only hires guys with undescended testicles. You should have seen how excited (then disappointed) they were when the movie The Descent was greenlit. They thought it was a how-to, and found out it was really more of a "how to suck".
eib-even though my noms have been like the kiss of death lately, consider yourself nominated.
I don’t know this doesnt seem like a funny idea to me
i guess jim carreys big balls scared everyone off huh?
I really wish Jim Carrey would go back to making fart jokes and stop trying to be Tom Hanks.
I fucking hate Jim Carrey [is fucking Jenny McCarthy and not me].
Why would Jim Carrey be in a womens’ prison?
Those are’a spicy meataballs’a.
Hey, smaller the potatoes, bigger the steak looks.
Right bros!? Right!? Bros!? Right? Wright?? Write…
You can’t tell a thing about his balls in that pic. Besides, I’m pretty sure Jenny McCarthy has them hanging from the rear-view mirror of her Prius.
I thought douches wore Versace so women wouldn’t notice their package is small.
True story: I once shot my best friend in the right nut with a paintball gun. It got real big…
…and then herniated.
Thank you Fek.
Jim Carrey looks pretty comfortable playing a gay man in the 80s. mmm..
I expected to see a couple Nic Cage Foreheads hangin down there. zzzzzip.
tease.
Further into the article, Yahoo News reported: “…Jim Carrey is best known for all of his poo-poo noises and farty sounds. And sometimes when the Yahoo News team sit down to go pee-pee, the water splashes our poodie holes. “
I can’t believe i clicked on that pic to inspect a man’s balls.
How many fags we got working here anyway?
Jim Carrey still looks like Vira De Milo.
So, is this supposed to be a comedy? If so, I don’t get it.
The fact-based film casts Carrey as
Steven RusselFreddie Mercury amarried fatherraging fag whose exploits into ass love landed him in theTexas criminal justice systemcrematorium.Carrey’s balls have been huge ever since he held out for $20 million for The Majestic.
How the hell is this the only article in FilmDrunk’s long and illustrious history that is carrying the "Balls" tag?
I can’t believe i
clicked onthat pic to inspecta man’s balls.There ya go SMB. I fixed your typo.
SuckMeBeautiful: the next time somebody catches you, ahem, inspecting another man’s balls. Just tell ‘em you are a doctor. Or a hairdresser. Whatever carries more weight round your neck of the woods. Why are you living in the woods? Are you an outlaw? How exciting.
It was college and i was experimenting. Everybody does it. Screw you for judging me Pauly!
Thanks Chuck. And yes, according to Visa, i am indeed an outlaw.
I did some experimenting at college too. Mostly with fuels in a lab. God it was boring.
sings in a bodacious By Jovi stylee On a steel horse i ride. I’m wanted, wanted, dead or alive.
They don’t look very big… call me ladies.
Is it a sequal to A Night at The Roxbury?
I’m posting from an airport.
I’m posting from an office.
ROFLKOTAL!
http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/7339/qaplahpw2.jpg
Jim Carrey used to be known as the man with a rubber face. Maybe now he’ll be known as the man with the rubber balls.
Of course, we already call the local eccentric that, but that’s because he has the largest collection of vending machine toys in the world.
I think there are too few movies with the names of cigarette companies in their titles.
Suggestions:
Lucky Strike: King of the Ten Pins
Virginia Slims A Fellow
Menthol Jones and the Last Nicotine Patch
Winston Churchill
I swear to Allah, SMB, if I ever meet you… let’s just say that you’ll be less than pleased.
2nd largest Donkey
GRRRRRRRR Dive Bar Claw Machine!
I’m posting from an airport office.
Are you Doodie Free Jack?
I’m posting from an air orifice.
Can someone give my friend Luch a cookie? I mean, the man IS posting from an airport office.
Often when i’m out in public i will ask strangers "Jacktion!?". I have always been less than pleased with the response.
I’m posting from inside a ton ton.
I’m posting from beyond the grave. Well, several graves actually. My house overlooks a bone orchard.
I’m posting from inside of you.
Ooops sorry Pauly…didn’t see you there
Don’t worry, SMB, I’ll warn you before I come to Vegas.
I may be a creepy, tunnel-visioned stalker/rapist, but I’m sporting about it.
Im posting from atop Nic Cages forehead
I swear to God:
The last two comments I had up on the weekly CoTW threads, they were posted form my phone, while I was taking a shit.
I would say "I shit you not" but I’ll eave the puns up to Jacktion!.
Just kidding, Im inside Jim Carreys pants, making his balls look huge.
Nobody liked the pic? :(
It was damn funny, Fek
Nobody liked the DIC? :(
PHYS ED!!!!!!
DIC made all of my favorite Saturday morning shows.
Is there any way to be sure that these are really Jim Carrey’s balls and not his stunt balls? Maybe we could have a Drunkette volunteer to certify and authenticate the veracity of the balls. While we’re at it, my balls could be stunt balls as well. Somebody might need to inspect them. Chodin, Pauly, Burnsy? Where are you guys going?
New post up, shit takers!
Eib-you’re just saying that cuz He nommed you.
Just fetching my handshake buzzer erswi, be right back!
And erswi, we went over this. Yeah, your balls are shiny. Now quit being so inscure about them!
They must’ve gone to the Fuck It Check Somewhere Else School of Journalism
The world’s most prestigious school of journalism. I’m not sure if that’s true, but it sounds about right. What do I look like, an Encyclopedia?