VERY FUNNY, THE ONION.
04.18.08
Three weeks ago when it was announced Mos Def had been cast as Chuck Berry in Cadillac Records, I wrote:
Chuck Berry famously got the idea for Rock and Roll from his cousin Marvin, who made Chuck listen live to a crazy white kid who’d traveled back in time and was filling in on guitar at the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. The kid’s showboating briefly brought the dance to a halt, but Chuck knew he was on to something so he re-recorded the song note for note.
Today, the Onion ran the following story:
In a shocking revelation that turns a half century of rock-and-roll history on its head, legendary musician Chuck Berry recalled Monday how he got the idea for his iconic song "Johnny B. Goode"—believed for decades to have been written by Berry himself—after listening to a white teenager playing it over the telephone. "I’ll never forget that night back in 1955 when I got the call from [cousin] Marvin [Berry] saying, ‘Chuck, this is that sound you’ve been looking for!’" recounted Berry, explaining that his cousin was playing an "Enchantment Under The Sea"–themed high school dance when the mysterious teen, Calvin Klein, took to the stage and single-handedly invented rock and roll as we now know it. "Marvin held up the phone and I heard the song that would make me famous. Then I stole it."
I’d like to think I’ve had ideas more worthy of borrowing. Like that plan for affordable universal healthcare, or when I converted water into a powerful energy source. Where were you at on those ones, jizz snorkelers?

It could be the server problems lately, or the excessive amount of masturbating I do, but I’m pretty sure some guy named Lance Martini wrote that.
Touché.
can we FIST! the onion?
I’d say something mean about The Onion, but I don’t want their blog commenters to quote me and call me mean names. Once per week is enough of that for me. I was very injured.
They said some very hurtful things to me.
And my shoes fell off.
I thought it was Goldie Wilson that helped Chuck out.
Goldie Wilson was gonna be mayor. "MAAAAYOR – I like that sound of that!"
In related news, Biff Tannen is facing 12 years in a state penetentary for the attempted rape of Lorraine McFly (nee Baines), as California recently repealed the statute of limitations on sex crimes.
One witness was quoted as saying "I really don’t remember much, except everything looked half red and half blue."
Franken-berry is the end result of Chuck being raped by Gary Busey.
I thought Goldie got lynched for making eye contact with Lorraine.
Obviously Lance went into the future, stole the Onion’s material, and then brought it back in to our time. This is probably going to disrupt the space time continuum, and hijinks will ensue. Imay not have proof yet, but if he asks anyone to wager on sporting events with him, politely decline.
I felt the same way when the Chicago Tribune ripped off my coverage of the 1948 presidential election.
oh shit guys im starting to fade help m
Obviously Lance went into the future, stole the Onion’s material, and then brought it back in to our time.
He then went back to 1968 and found a young man working a soda shop outside Chicago. He said to the starry eyed boy, who was clearly a hard worker, "I see big things for you, President Obama"…
Fek, how’s Europe this time of year…
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/broadband/orl-photosoftheday-pg,0,2835583.photogallery
http://www.orlandosentinel.com/media/photo/2008-04/38005717.jpg <– thats burnsies pic hahahahaha looking good fek
Whoops, sorry about that. Thanks Bex.
I just wanna know, what happened to 3-D?
I just wanna know, what happened to 3-D?
He works at Circuit City now, and has officially changed his nickname to HD. His son, 7.1, also works at the store.
"Even funnier the second time, I think."
Uhhh…wouldn’t this technically be the third time, since the joke actually began, you know, in the movie?
That made me feel as bad as when I learned "The Simpsons" did that joke about four years after "Family Guy" did it.
Because "Family Guy" sucks, but admitting they did something first… well, that’s just wrong.
Uhhh…wouldn’t this technically be the third time, since the joke actually began, you know, in the movie?
Damn you and your math skills!
That made me feel as bad as when I learned "The Simpsons" did that joke about four years after "Family Guy" did it. Because "Family Guy" sucks, but admitting they did something first… well, that’s just wrong.
Yeah! Wait, are you implying that I suck? *frownie* ;-(
Um, hey, Vance… new post.
now now Vince! The Onion is funny too! Please don’t have a blog-war, because that’ll cause the blogpocalypse and the second coming of Perez Hilton (I believe the first "coming" was when he met Treat Williams for the first time – guffaw, guffaw)
now now Vince! The Onion is funny too! Please don’t have a blog-war
It’s true, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t flattered.
Is it okay for me to point out that the simpsons referenced the marvin/chuck thing from back to the future in an episode earlier this season, titled "That 90′s Show", in which Homer Simpson is playing Nirvana Spoof songs, and Marvin Cobain Call Kurt and tells him to "listen to this!", which is possibly what helped one of you or even both to write a joke along the same lines?
Please tell me it’s okay to point that out because if it isn’t, oh boy am I screwed.
It’s far from a original joke.
Does anyone here see the irony about two people arguing about who originally made a joke about something that was in fact a joke made years ago? And that joke after the main kid traveled further back in time, to the fifties?
Wait, somebody already pointed that first part out, shit! Well, how about the idea that both versions of the joke are lame because they have no addemdems, it’s the exact same joke made years ago in the movie with the only new element that the people saying the joke are pretending to be serious. Word.