Today in rumors, CinemaBlend reports the possibility of a non direct-to-dvd sequel to Universal Soldier (there’ve already been two direct-to-TV sequels and a theatrically-released fourth that ignored the TV movies). It might possibly star Jean Claude Van Damme and also maybe Dolph Lundgren, possibly. (See ten awesome minutes of the original after the jump).
The original Universal Soldier first hit theaters back in 1992, directed by now king of the disaster movie Roland Emmerich and starring then relevant Dolph Lundgren and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Jean-Claude plays a super soldier who breaks free from his killing programming and goes on the run, pursued by another super soldier played by the muscles of Dolph Lundgren.
Jean-Claude Van Damme, who starred in the original Universal Soldier, is in talks to topline this new one. Right now they’re developing it as a DTV project, but if they get him and if some of Van Damme’s other upcoming projects like Full Love do well, there’s a chance it could end up becoming a theatrical release. There’ve been whispers that Dolph Lundgren may be involved too, though that’s little more than a rumor at this point.
I can’t imagine either of these guys have a super busy schedule. It should be fine as long as they don’t shoot late on Tuesday, because Tuesday is fajita night. Dolph Lundgren fuckin loves fajitas.
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And here I’ve always thought Hollywood could not possibly force me to care less.
I, for one, am excited. Now I can wear my necklace of ears again without getting gawked at.
I just want to eat!
The year is 2054, and an aging, self-aware ex-fighting robot now enjoys retirement at his lakeside cabin. But when trouble brews, will he rise to the call? Universal Fly Fisherman opens wide Veteran’s Day 2010.
I think Van Damme is standing roughly 2 miles closer than Dolph to the camera.
Oh yeah – you can’t change your avi? I can’t fucking log out of Contractor Mike. FUCK MIKE!
Slow day? Or just Monday? Lance needs to work in the Emmy Watson pics in with some Harry Potter news or something.
“Jean-Claude Van Damme… is in talks…”
Van Damme’s agent is trying to negotiate more money, but Jean-Claude insists that as long as there’s bagels and Pepsi on set, he’ll work for free.
THE MIGHTY FEK’LHR WOULD LOVE TO TAKE HIS SWEET EMMY TO SEE THIS PILE OF FORSHAK! WE COULD HOLD HANDS. OR I COULD JUST HOLD MY MOULDS OF HER HANDS.
This is gonna’ be fuckin’ great: Jean-Claude and Dolph sitting around on set between takes going, “Hey, remember that one time that we almost ‘made it’ ?”
Oh yeah?! You’re fucking half wit plumbing subcon cut into a hot line at the jobsite this weekend, totally fucked up my buzz. You hire ‘em, you babysit ‘em! Fucking MIKE!
"…starring then relevant Jean-Claude Van Damme…"
Wait a damn minute, you mean JCVD isn’t still relevant? Then why am I spin-kicking my students during conferences about their final paper revisions? Also, are you telling me that the best way to respond to a mugger isn’t to do the splits and punch him in the balls, because I’m telling you, it works (and again, it also works on students during conferences about their final paper revisions).
That reminds me, I need to stretch.
<tapping toe waiting for you’re/your comments>
Nice necklace, I have the same one except with noses…
UniSol is a guilty pleasure of mine. It rocks. Hard.
By the way, if Dolph were taking a leak in the adjacent urinal, do you think you’d still get a whiff of Grace Jones?
when I asked Jean-Claude about this project, he said: "I fell ve haff to kip it gerd twaards de orginal faans whuf made de Yoonifersal Sao-uldjer fraanchise h’as graaet ‘as it h’is."
he then asked: "Wha-yy h’is all uf mah dvds sa-old in de cheeps bin h’at Wa-olmart?"
…and then he made a sad pouty face.
Van Damme and Lundgren are indeed in talks, however no one can understand a word they’re saying.
OR I COULD JUST HOLD MY MOULDS OF HER HANDS.
When I turned 18, I tried to buy a mould of Traci Lords’ privates at a sex shop. I could only afford a mould of her hand, so it had to do.
I think Van Damme needs to start practicing his splits again…
I heard that Dolph will do it provided Ikea give him a 3 month leave of absence to allow him to go film.
AHA! I’m back, bitches. Miss me?
That ^ sounded awfully familiar…
Thanks for the "clear cache" tip, Bex.
My wife and I argued about why the UniSols had to be cooled down after missions. I told her it was because they we’re technically dead, and the reanimation process caused their internal temperatures to continually rise. She said it’s because Dolph Lundgren was, and I quote, "way too fucking hot". I didn’t see the need to argue the point any further.
"I’m all ears."
Sadie Frost made a mould of her hand and super-glued it to Rafferty’s.
Mpphoo-ffrrrr… People crack wise now, but thank your fucking stars that Dolph Lundgren did Rocky IV instead of taking over a fucking country. Because no one would have stood a chance.
no problem hunny ;)
The Mighty Fek’lhr wonders if anyone saw Expelled this weekend? He almost went, just to write a review of it…but…meh.
These are the same kind of people that need convincing that the Earth orbits the sun. Or that gravity "exists". The Mighty Fek’lhr read that this movie was so shocking and disturbing to some fundies (wtf?) that they left the theater with their children and went home to watch "Passion". (I’ll try to hunt up my source)
At least they chose a wholesome family activity.
Dolph will be 60 this year. FUCKING 60?! Are there any ‘action stars’ under the age of 60? Shia LePoof don’t count…
Nothing like raising your child like a Bonsai tree.
Gee, I thought all those question marks in a headline could only mean one thing, but I’ll be damned if I can remember now what that one thing was….
Americans you need to start whooping your kids, seriously, enough of this defend your rights bullshit, whoop them, whoop them good
By the looks of that picture it should be called Universal Bulldyke because they both look like futuristic lesbian killing machine’s hellbent on eatin’ muff and takin’ names yet all the while knowing their forbidden love can never be.
The softball sized siamese twin that was removed from Andy Garcia’s shoulder
writes for this blogwas attached to JCVD’s forehead.ARapistWit you win best name, if GhostofChrisBenoitsSon was still here he’d still be the champ
Dolph Lundgren is like my xBox 360… works sometimes, but generally costs too much money for what you actually get.
Stoney observes: Nothing like raising your child like a Bonsai tree.
If I didn’t believe that bumpers were for pussies, I’d get that as a bumper sticker.
Dolph should do I come In PEace II, this time the villain shoots Ipods out of his gun
HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Dolph should do I come In PEace II
Once, just once, I’d like to come in peace.
Will he do the splits balanced on two evenly spaced walkers and then when he "woots" his dentures will hit the floor and he’ll reach down to get them while trying to stay balanced and break a hip and get weird old man face scratches?!? You know what I’m talking about.
Will Dolph chase him on a Rascal?
Will none of their grandchildren call?
They originally wanted to caset Johnny Five for a role in this new one, but, with Wall-E coming out and product naming rights being as they are, they had to scrap the idea for calling it Universal Remote.
Mpphooo-rrr-phoo… Dolph Lundgren is actually older than 60. Even as a very young man he fought for Sweden against the Russians in WWII…here are the actual recorded statistics.
[img291.imageshack.us]
Bad Alien: I come in peace.
Jack Caine: But you go in pieces, asshole.
This is just one of the reasons why I love the cinematic works of Dolph Lundgren
Caset is, of course, a futuristic word for cast… Fucking E’s
I must break
youmy hip.new post you squinty eyed fuckers
Mario Van Peebles will have a short cameo as the solo cup in which Van Damme’s medicine is given him.
Dolph should do I come In PEace II
Once, just once, I’d like to come in peace.
Rot: Do what JCVD does and go for a theatrical release.
[fstdt.com]
In case anyone was waiting for it…
UPDATE!!!!!!! APPRARENTLY NOBODY GIVES A SHIT…SSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOO
FUCK HIM!!!!!!