Today we’ve got the first five minutes (watch it after the jump) of the latest Spurlockumentary, Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden. It includes a video game parody in which an animated Osama whacks Spurlock with his turban and Spurlock garrotes him with his Fu Manchu while shouting “Mustache ride!” Seriously.
I’d probably bone this movie, but I’m a little pissed at Spurlock’s parents. When you have a last name like “Spurlock”, the awesome action movie name possibilities are endless. “Rex”, “Remington”, “Brock”, “Turbo”, hell, even "Dave" – all acceptable. “Morgan”, on the other hand, is the most effeminate male name in history. The name “Morgan” is so gay that it’s at least 50% gayer than the name “Gay”.
Unless you’re an older black man, in which case it just makes you more distinguished.
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This new trend of releasing the first few minutes of a movie is pretty lame. It’s like when I start bobking a broad and she wakes up.
Bonking, damnit. BONKING!
We had a kid in high school named Morgan. We called him Big M Little organ
(Al says: I think this is for erswi):
Where is Nommy when you need him? Ummmm, getting ready to watch my team play in the Final Four, dude. Where are you? Getting ready for football season and preparing to see my team(colors are blue and red, not this ripoff mixture of the two that is…lets face it…pretty ghey) win the BCS championship? Almost our entire team is returning, you know, the one who won the Orange Bowl. Hey, you know what color isn’t too ghey? Orange!
Don’t worry dude, if you ever have to move to Kansas, we got you covered. K-State is pretty ghey too.
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I kinda want to take that course. Until then I’ll just lean against walls and shift my eyes back and forth and then wink at people knowingly.
I’d rather watch the back of my eye lids.
How’s the hangover Pauly?
As far as this guy goes, I really can’t seem to get excited about him. It could be the fact that Big Macs are gifts from God and he tried to ruin them for me. It could also be that he’s a pretentious douchebag on par with Michael Moore.
Morgan Fairchild used to be a hot gay guy.
So much liquor…so little sleep.
I’m fucking dying over here, JHC.
Needs more Rockapella
For those of you who were wondering (and those who aren’t gay like me and Lance) , Tevas are a brand of footwear, specifically known for sports sandals and butt-plug shoes.
*Chodin bursts throught he studio doors, runs for his chair and makes it just in time to begin the 5 o’clock News*
Hey kids!!! Our favorite wise guy is e-mailing me again: here’s the latest!
From: chodin
Subject: Congrats!
Date: 04/03/2008 17:11
Very few people are ever actually able to put me at a “loss for words”, but sure enough you’ve done it.
Was it your cleverness that took my breath away? Fuck no, it’s because I need a goddamn Egyptian translator just to make sense of your sentences. Seriously, I didn’t know that Dick-U granted master’s degrees.
Try sharpening your steak knives before you come eat at our table, ya’ Jew.
From: Observer
Subject: Jews….the other dark meat.
Date: 04/04/2008 01:51
Are Jews no longer allowed here?
Maybe I’m confused…but someone using your ID name posts sporadically at WWTDD and bitches that Doctress Leisa is (to paraphrase) “ban-happy” and too censorious.
Then you jump on me …after I’m “banned” and cannot respond…..and self-congratulate yourselves?
Oh the hypocrisy……..
Also…..are you “Al Gore” at WWTDD?……your styles seem similar.
From: chodin
Subject: Dick4…
Date: 04/04/2008 12:16
Look ho,
On DURSTEN I was chodin, then slackjaw got all gay for me and invented chodin. with a “period” on the end of it. I’m banned from over there so I can’t post anymore, but I’m sure that chodin. (with a “period” still lingers around talking gay shit – i could truly care less).
No, I’m not Al Gore “over there” but he’s probably my favorite personality out of that cess pool of commenters because nobody likes him and he just doesn’t care. If it was me, trust me, I’d let you fuckers know.
Last, don’t start trying to bleed all over my dick because you got banned. WWTDD bans people when they don’t agree with what they’re saying, over here all we ask is that you have reached a 3rd grade reading level.
So in the immortal words of Eddie Murphy: “Have a Coke and a smile and shut the fuck up”.
Luch, for further reference, what should I do when I encounter someone wearing Tevas?
You shoulda called in dead hommie.
ring, ring
Pauly’s Employment- Hello?
Pauly-I’m not gonna make it in today.
PE- Why’s that?
P-It’s like this, I set my liver on my pillow last night, you know, to dry out, and well, it’s gone.
PE-You mean someone stole it?
P-No. I mean it left me a letter on the pillow saying "I deserve to be treated better than this. All you do is drink drink drink, and what do I get? Cirrhosis. No more! I’m leaving you, and I’m not coming back this time."
PE-Do you have someone to cover for you?
P-flatlines
Pauly, in honor of your birthday, I got fucking pickled as fuck last night.
Thank you.
If I call in, this place goes to shit via first class mail. I went to the strip club and got fucked off proper. I was up on stage pole dancing topless and all.
My fucking kidneys feel like they were punched all night.
Morgan Spurlock named his kid Laken. Fan of the LA Lakers and the Kraken?
Morgan
Ashley
Dorian
Shannon
Lee/Leigh
Cameron
Robin
Shawn/Sean
Definite "Kill your parents" list right there, in addition to Laken, Rumer, Scout, Pixie and Peaches.
if GW had a mustache, he could’ve given Bin Laden a mustache ride and made him eat his Bush and this whole thing would’ve been handled with sticks and stones in the middle east.
Nice avi, exodus.
You should have kept animation rights on Banana Grabber