Ever since the first Wall-E stills hit the web, me and many other movie bloggers have noted his similarity to Johnny 5 from Short Circuit. Someone in Hollywood noticed, and in typical Hollywood fashion, confused a reference to something with a good idea, and now they’re planning a remake of Short Circuit.
The original introduced Number 5, a robot built by the military to be a highly sophisticated weapon. It developed a conscience and a personality after being hit by lightning, and then needed the help of humans after it was targeted for destruction by its makers, once it became a peacenik. [Variety]
Yes, and he also joined the Los Locos street gang, we remember. The writers of the original (and of the Tremors movies), Brent Maddock and S.S. Wilson (who’s apparently a ship), have been hired to write the remake. Anyway, I realize I’m partly to blame for this and I apologize. Everything else is still either Brett Ratner or those Meet the Spartans dipshits’ fault.

"You wanna dance? I know a tune, it’s called stick and cut."
When compared to Johnny 5, Wall-E has a fat ass.
Johnny 5 has a much more hourglass figure.
Sangre por sangre Johnny.
I’d like to take all credit for DURSTING that last thread.
*Chodin takes a bow*
"With excitement like this, who is needing enemas?"
You wanna remake??? I got three words….GOOT EN BURG!…nuff said.
Also, Los Locos kick your ass.
Los Locos kick your face.
Los Locos kick your balls into outter space!
Starring Rob Zombie’s guitar player!
….and who didn’t join a Mexican gang in the 80′s.
Carlos Mencia.
That’s because he didn’t become ‘Carlos Mencia’ until 2002.
I didn’t become ‘contagious’ until 1991.
And now, it’s an epidemic.
My ex wife’s nickname was Johnny 5. She fucking craved input.
Two fucking words: El DeBarge.
That’s because he didn’t become ‘Carlos Mencia’ until 2002.
Plus they wouldn’t let him in because he’s half German and half Honduran.
Robots can’t feel emotions: they’re all heartless players.
I fucked the fax machine here at work, like a montha go, and it still hasn’t called me back (it did call me “black” though).
‘Ned Holness’ doesn’t really roll off the tounge well for a gang banger.
‘Nall Da’Holes rolls off the tongue exceptionally well for a gang bang though.
I ex-girlfriend was a gang banger.
Seriously, she’s fucked every gang in the state of Arizona and even certain areas of Montana.
“I ex-girlfriend was a gang banger.”
*Needs to be read with a thick Scottish/British accent*
Chodin’s girlfriend has had more spics in her than an immigration bus.
That’s alot of Beaner weiner for the folks counting at home.
Thanks Pauly, now my boogers are carbonated. Dick.
*She had more more mexicans in her than a ’78 El Camino* (which is to say, 14 at a time)
My ex-girlfriend’s had more parts shoved inside of her than Wall-E and Johnny 5 combined.
I hear that statistically, nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.
Knowing what I know now: I wouldn’t ever fuck my ex-girlfriend again, even with Wall-E’s dick.
Disclaimer
***I can’t take credit for that joke***
New up chuck.
Disclaimer
***I can’t take credit for that joke***
Can you imagine hearing these words from Ned Holness?
"Vatos Locos Por-eber!"
i hear statistically, nine out of the ten girls ive slept with in the past month have syphillis and chlamydia.
seriously. that one made me wear a sombrero, even after i told he my ‘religious convictions.’ bitch.
Robots can’t feel emotions: they’re all heartless players.
No bitchassness my nukka. Hate the game.
Wall-E looks like it’s flipping someone the mechanical bird in the banner pic.
uhhh…..’he’ is the new ‘her’; i know, ironic isnt it?
Tik Tok from Return to Oz would kick Wall-E’s ass.
The Mighty Fek’lhr loves it when Dorothy forgets to wind his thinking capacity and he spazzes out:
DO-RO-THEE! IT RUBS THE LO-TION ON IT’S SKIN! MOM-MEE GOES WHEE DOWN THE SLIDE! SHE WILL BE SO BE-YOO-TEE-FUL!!!