HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PERVERT

04.29.08 Written by Vince Mancini

I was about to post some sweet pictures of Amy Smart topless on the set of Crank 2 when Lionsgate tore through the internet and everyone started yanking them down left and right – as of this moment you can still see them here or here.

But in case you don’t catch them in time, I’ve included a fun short film called The Babysitter (From David Steinberg, director of the upcoming Shrek spinoff, Puss in Boots) after the jump.  It’s a little long, but it made me smile.  It’s about giving underage girls alcohol to get them into bed, which is both highly illegal and totally sweet.

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CARRIE BRADSHAW GETS ATTACKED

04.29.08 Written by Vince Mancini

RopeofSilicon has this latest poster for the Sex and the City movie, and as you can see, it depicts Carrie Bradshaw being eaten by a lion.  Oh my God, he’s got her in his mouth!  Quick, somebody shoot it!

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GROSVENOR PARK IS THE ANTI CHRIST

04.29.08 Written by Vince Mancini

As if it weren’t bad enough that people actually know their names, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, the duo behind Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie, have gotten financing for their next movie. 

The as-yet-untitled film, which begins shooting today in Louisiana (and is set for an August 29th release – who says quality takes time?), stars Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian, G-Thang, Nicole Parker, Crista Flanagan and Ike Barinholtz.  Of those, I’m only sure two are real people, and I use "real people" only in the loosest sense of the word.  And by loosest, I mean both of them are probably really loose.  Down there.  Should I slow down? 

Anyway, financing comes courtesy of Grosvenor Park, who I’m guessing was on a brief break from manufacturing mercury baby pacifiers and cutting down rainforests to make room for a shiny new veal farm.

[Picture Source = IGN, thanks to Robo for the tip

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J.D. SALINGER HATES INDY, STILL ALIVE

04.29.08 Written by Vince Mancini

You\'re the man now, dog.

Ebay is currently auctioning a letter written in 1981 by legendary Catcher in the Rye author J.D. Salinger to a woman with whom he had an affair.  Some of the highlights of the letter:

Have of ten gone to the desk to converse, talk with you, inquire warmly of the state of your Bowels, but nothing has come of it.

You might think it strange that he capitalized Bowels, but you haven’t met this broad… Anyway, the reason the letter is worth mentioning on a movie site is Salinger’s assessment of recent films.

Have seen no good movies, except The Last Metro, which wasn’t exactly indelibly fine, but Deneuve herself maybe was, or came close. [Boosh? –Ed.]  I got hooked into seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark, which might be excused for its unwitty, unfunny awful socko-ness if it had been put together by Harvard Lampoon seniors.

Ouch – I just checked and yep, I’m pretty sure that’s a burn.  A history burn.  Reached for comment, Raiders director Steven Spielberg reportedly shot back, “Oh yeah? Well, let’s just say there’s a reason he didn’t call the book Pitcher in the Rye, if you catch my drift…”

[via Empire

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WILL FERRELL VS. THE LIZARDS

04.29.08 Written by Vince Mancini

USA Today has the first official still from the upcoming Land of the Lost remake starring Will Ferrell and Danny McBride.

The featured creatures are Sleestaks (as popularized by the Nerf Herder song, “She’s a Sleestak").  Sleestaks are described as “villainous lizard creatures with a single horn and giant eyes” a la Lisa Rinna.  The good news is that director Brad Silberling (Lemony Snickets) fought to keep the Sleestaks as dudes in goofy costumes rather than CGI.

Ferrell plays Dr. Marshall, a wacky scientist who ends up the laughingstock of the scientific community after attacking the quadriplegic and wheelchair-bound Stephen Hawking while being interviewed on Anderson Cooper 360. Dr. Marshall is reduced to becoming a tour guide at the La Brea Tar Pits, the only scientific job that would take him. A young hot scientist played by Anna Friel convinces Dr. Marshall to go with her on an expedition which no doubt takes him to the Land of the Lost. [/film]

I’ll admit it, this sounds kind of awesome.  I like the idea of remaking old stuff as a comedy, rather than trying to make a faithful version of something that was somewhat ridiculous to begin with, like say, Speed Racer.  Comedies are preferable for the same reason it’s more fun to make fun of old people when they poop their pants than it is to listen to their stories about the olden times.

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