God, what would FilmDrunk be without goofy pictures of Nic Cage?  Check out these new stills from the chick puncher/alleged Chihuahua thief’s upcoming movie, Bangkok Dangerous (you can read the rundown here).  He’s not wearing a bear suit in any of them, but he might as well be.  I think that scene in Wicker Man where he’s trying to look incognito amongst a procession of young girls while wearing a 6’5” bear costume has become a metaphor for his career.  “Shhh, I’m disappearing into this role.  Don’t tell anyone it’s me.” 

I’m not posting all 45 pics from RopeofSilicon, my source, but I’ll give you enough to get a taste of his creepy forehead.  I’m convinced that at some point the skin on his scalp was torn off and the doctor just painted his skull flesh colored.

This one might be my favorite.  The elephant’s staring at Cage as if someone just slipped it a peanut laced with angel dust.  Yeah, elephant, we see it too. 

With two and a half months to go before the Dark Knight opens, the hype machine is just getting warmed up.  The latest schwag is the giant banner that came out in the UK.  You can see it above - it’s too wide to fit a bigger version on this site, but you can check it out here.  It’s nice that they took the time to make the broken glass look so realistic.

And after the jump, I’ve got the "jokerized" trailer from /Film.  Uh, I’ll let them explain it.

At the latest Dark Knight viral events [no doubt sponsored by herpes-date.com -Ed.], one winner was chosen from the audience to take home a 35mm print of The Dark Knight movie trailer. As it turns out, this 35mm print is actually defaced by The Joker himself [well, not actually...]. One of the winners put the Jokerfied trailer online.

…Yeah, sweet, a 35mm print, just what I’ve always wanted.  It’s kind of like when indie filmmakers send me stuff, and think I’m gonna be all excited to get a t-shirt with the name of their movie and release date on it.  Yeah, sweet, bro, I’ll be a hit at the club in this.  And guess what, ladies?  I’ve also got the screener DVD back at my apartment.  Mmm-mmm, I can tell you’re already gettin’ all hot, so I won’t even tell you about all the free pens with the name of my bank on them.  Oops! I’m so naughty!   

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Today I’ve got an early look at the new Indiana Jones Needs Help Zipping His Fly Again  trailer, shot on glorious butt cam. It’s a little better quality than the Dark Knight trailer from yesterday.  Some things we learn from it:

Surprise, the crystal skull will be guarded by zombies!  Also, the costume designer still seems determined to make Shia LeBeouf look like a gay dominatrix.   The only thing I can think of is that there must be a scene in the movie in which an ancient riddle is solved or a booby trap avoided through knowledge of show tunes. Or perhaps he’s the only one who can hold the crystal skull on account of his jazz hands.

Sir Ian McKellen is officially back as Gandalf for the two Hobbit movies, planned for 2010 and 2011.

According to studio New Line, the first film will be an adaptation of The Hobbit and the second will be an original story focusing on the 60 years between the book and the beginning of the Rings trilogy.

"As to how it’s going to work over two films and what going to happen on screen, well Guillermo has not got down to working out the major details yet - I can tell you it’s going to be amazing though," Sir Ian said [Ugh, sycophantic actors... -Ed.]

I hate wizard characters because there’s always some battle scene where the good guys are getting their ass kicked for like 10 minutes and just when it looks like they’re done for, the wizard guy decides to concentrate real hard and annihilates everyone with mind bullets, and then everyone cheers.  Thanks, ass, maybe you should’ve tried that to begin with.

Interesting tidbit: Sean Connery turned down the project of Gandalf in the first Lord of the Rings – he said in an interview that he “didn’t understand it.”  That’s too bad, because I think a wizard who slaps chicks would’ve been pretty gangsta. -[Thanks to Bryce for the tip]

The first official stills from Burn After Reading, the Coen brothers project set to open in September, have hit the web.  Everyone in them looks in some way perplexed.  The movie stars Brad Pitt, George Clooney, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton (the awesome Oscar speech giver), and Frances McDormand. 

Burn centers on Osbourne Cox (Malkovich), who has hit a bit of rough patch. He was recently fired from the CIA and decides to write his memoirs, naturally documenting government secrets along the way. His wife (Swinton) decides to steal the material to use in their upcoming divorce proceedings, but the CD mistakenly ends up in the hands of two doltish gym employees, Chad (Pitt) and Linda (McDormand). In response to Linda and Chad conspiring to sell the material to help pay for Linda’s plastic surgery, the CIA dispatches Harry (Clooney) to sort it all out at whatever the cost. [FirstShowing]

A guy named Brad playing a guy named Chad?  I dunno, seems like a stretch.  Anyway, I would definitely bone this movie.   In other news, be on the look out for Paris Hilton’s next project, Burn After Peeing. [Thanks to Eib for the tip]