Rocky, the grizzly bear that allegedly wrestled Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro killed its trainer with a bite to the neck yesterday. (GRR, DRACULA BEAR! …sorry, poor taste)
Three experienced handlers were working with the grizzly Tuesday at the Predators in Action wild animal training center when the bear attacked Stephan Miller, 39, said San Bernardino County sheriff’s spokeswoman Cindy Beavers [Beavers! -Ed.]. Miller’s
brothercousin Randy doubled for Ferrell in the bear-wrestling scene.Pepper spray was used to subdue and contain the bear, and there were no other injuries, Beavers said [hee hee, still funny! – Ed.]. Paramedics arriving shortly after the initial emergency call around 3 p.m. were unable to revive Stephan Miller.
Sheriff’s Sgt. Dave Phelps said the bear was a 5-year-old male named Rocky. The Predators in Action Web site said Rocky is 7 1/2 feet tall and weighs 700 pounds.
So… I’m gonna throw this out there: If I’m ever being attacked by a 700-pound grizzly bear, rest-assured the time for non-lethal weaponry has passed. In a way I bet the guys who pulled out the pepper spray are a little relieved the dude died – because otherwise he’d be waiting at their house ready to take a 9-iron to someone’s nuts.
In related news, one time a butterfly landed on my shoulder while I was dove hunting. "Shoot it! Shoot it!" I yelled.
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This ugly episode merely supports my call for Nic Cage to be put down.
I had a dream very similar to this last night. It’s time to open that envelope I gave you.
Nommy, there’s nothing in this envelope but a plastic shark, a bottle of lube and a plane ticket to Iowa City . . . ooooh, I get it. Say no more.
When asked "why pepper spray" the handler replied "I forgot my tazer and little cardboard STOP RAPE sign in my other purse.
I’m heading on down to Chuckie Cheese and uppercutting a damn animatronic jugband bear. Comeuppance, Ursus horribilis.
By the way, if an animal’s scientific name is Ursus horribilis, maybe don’t own one as a pet?
Yeah, I changed that sign to read STOB RABB donkey. Sorry but that’s why they’ve all been laughing at you while taking your anal virtue.
"Later that day, all of the employees at the Predators in Action wild animal training center just looked at each other and said ‘Wow, I guess we’re kind of a bunch of retards, huh?"’
So Lince, got room for Rocky the Blood-Thirsty Bear in your menagerie? I’m pretty sure the folks at Predators in Action have a strict one-strike-and-you’re-out rule, and he could come in handy on posts about zombies or Las Vegas.
Iowa City! Dor sho gha!!!
This was a horrible mistake during rehearsals for the Hollywood version of the Grizzly Man movie called Timothy Treadwell; Fucking Loon. When you are training a gaddamn grizzly to act like it’s eating somebody, it can be had to get them to stop.
Whilst i understand this bear attack is no laughing matter, this classic certainly is. Best bear attack ever: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtmmefcJbMc
Roy Horn scoffs.
*Chodin walks up to jukebox, inserts a quarter and walks away. “Raining Men” begins to play*
But seriously, was Stephan Miller made out of honey?
My second question: Why couldn’t it be Will Ferrell?
This is like being a fireman and you are shocked that you broke a sweat.
Hey deja vu!
This happened in a place called Big Bear.
If the trainer couldn’t read the signs on the way to work that morning, that’s his problem.
Witnesses of the attack quoted the bear as shouting, “This is what happens when you put someone in a Will Ferrell movie”.
Number 1 threat to Zog? Indoor plumbing.
sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar mauls your fucking face off
Sheriff’s Sgt. Dave Phelps said, ” I don’t know who this fucking bear thinks he is, but you can’t just go around eating people “.
Why did it kill it’s trainer? Were there no Wickens around to punch in the face?
When interviewed by local newspapers, God said, “Yup…that’s pretty much what I designed bears to do.”
Rocky said: "I wanna kiss ya-ya don’t have to kiss me back if ya don’t feel like it."
Maybe he was just tired of being stuck playing first base?
New up, Bear-Fuckers!
“The Predators in Action Web site said Rocky is [probably going to be shot in the fucking face tomorrow afternoon...say noon-ish...thirty.]“
On Rocky, the grizzly bear’s personal web blog, we told fans, “I was just fucking around, Miller was supposed to tap out”.
"I thought that was Ranger Smith! Boo-Boo, how come you didn’t fuckin’ tell me that it wasn’t Ranger Smith?"
At least now Rocky will finally get that Hell’s Angels jacket he’s been trying for.
I guess no one told Stephan Miller that bear hickeys are deadly.
Into the Wild . . . Bear’s Mouth
The Bear made a Boo-boo!
/I’ll show myself out
this is the worst Bear since Stearns
/Seriously, I’ll stop now
She is my favorite. It is said she is single now. Her photos were seen at millionaire&celeb dating site "R ich M atch M aking.com" last week.
Hey sexybeauty, wanna’ get machine fucked?