The first official stills from Burn After Reading, the Coen brothers project set to open in September, have hit the web. Everyone in them looks in some way perplexed. The movie stars Brad Pitt, George Clooney, John Malkovich, Tilda Swinton (the awesome Oscar speech giver), and Frances McDormand.
Burn centers on Osbourne Cox (Malkovich), who has hit a bit of rough patch. He was recently fired from the CIA and decides to write his memoirs, naturally documenting government secrets along the way. His wife (Swinton) decides to steal the material to use in their upcoming divorce proceedings, but the CD mistakenly ends up in the hands of two doltish gym employees, Chad (Pitt) and Linda (McDormand). In response to Linda and Chad conspiring to sell the material to help pay for Linda’s plastic surgery, the CIA dispatches Harry (Clooney) to sort it all out at whatever the cost. [FirstShowing]
A guy named Brad playing a guy named Chad? I dunno, seems like a stretch. Anyway, I would definitely bone this movie. In other news, be on the look out for Paris Hilton’s next project, Burn After Peeing. [Thanks to Eib for the tip]
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Pretty much the only movies I look forward to are made by the Coen’s. After that rocky Intolerable/Lady Killers period they proved they haven’t dursted with No Country. Can’t asshats like Boll, Bay, and Rat be sat down and forced to watch all their movies over and over again?
How about that latest Mars Volta album, Burn After Being?
What type of plastic surgery if McDormand going for? Or is it actually for Brad Pitt to get his balls re-attached?
That 3rd picture. Clooney is thinking "Without a doubt the ugliest chick I have ever banged. What was I thinking?!"
This reminds The Mighty Fek’lhr of the time He forgot to lock out the console while He went to forshak, and that kotal DippS’hit tried to fly us into a supernova.
The Mighty One guesses this blows the idea you guys held of Him just having a chamber pot under the command chair…
hahahahaha, "burn after peeing" that made me laugh out loud at my desk, then I had to explain to people why I was laughing. it was difficult but I think I pulled it off.
Lanky Mangina, WTF? You Turdened your mission statement? That jsut means He will ahve to be three times as vile and racist today!
LOOK AT THE YINTAGH IRISH GUY! HE WANTS MY LUCKY CHARMS!
I would bone this movie if Swinton and McDormand weren’t in it. If it were just Clooney, Pitt, and Malkovich . . . oh yeah, I’d bone the shit outta this one.
You had me until you said Malkovitch, erswi. Even if he was just watching and jerking it in the corner he’d put me off my Pitt/Clooney sammich.
I saw the picture and thought it was a Cool World reprisal.
I’d do Pitt and Clooney while yelling "Malkovitch Malkovitch!" Close enough?
Whadaya want from me bryce? Sure Clooney and Pitt are sweet pieces of ass and real easy to look at. But I’ve always had a bit of an intellectual man crush on Malky. I’m not saying he’s in any way comparable to the Clooney/Pitt attractivitiy, but he just . . . ummm . . .
GRRR . . . MAN IN THE IRON MASK????
Robo, think Johnny Suede as well.
I’d rather think Velvet Jones.
I think New Post.
I’m scared by Malkovitch’s over the top pronunciation and delivery. He’d be all, "And NOW my sWEEt EsWi… I will PEN- E-TRATE your POST-ERIOR!!!"
GRRRR…. THESPIAN!!!
Rick Springfield is the white man’s Ike Turner.
Rick Springfield’s dead?
If my eyes had made a movie after walking in a Grandma changing, it would have been called “Burn After Seeing”.
Characters in movies named Chad get a bad rap but you should never get typecasted as a "Todd"
Fek: thanks for noticing the mission statement, welcome to two weeks ago.
I guess Clooney and Pitt couldn’t get the Coens to name this one Oceans 15 or whatever they’re up to. Pass.
what fucking mission statement?
Joel and Ethan’s (who could film your lawn dying well enough to deserve an Oscar) Bizzaro counterparts are Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedburg. (Who could fuck up a Nippon shit fetish vomit orgy film)