This isn’t strictly movie related, but it’s very important to the FilmDrunk community. Our buddy Busey needs our help, as he has been evicted.
Gary Busey has been evicted from his Malibu home because he owes more than $50,000 in back rent. Apparently the actor hasn’t paid his $6,000/mo rent in over a year. Busey’s attorney Vicki Roberts told the National Enquirer:
“It’s true he owed over $50,000 in back rent – but he stopped paying because of a health issue. The landlord wouldn’t clean out the vents.” [Source]
Busey was pissed about the vents because he was told he’d be allowed to hunt coyote there. Coyote is a Busey family delicacy, and Buseys traditionally hunt them in the nude – a problem in notoriously prudish Malibu. But being able to hunt coyote in the privacy of your own vents? Problem solved. I know you might be thinking, aren’t vents kind of small, even in Malibu? How will Busey, who is known to be around 8 feet tall, fit into the vents? Well that my friends is why Busey invented a shrink ray. He got the idea from the movie Inner Space. He later saw Honey I Shrunk the Kids, but called it "Hollywood nonsense."
[Thanks to Andrew for the tip]
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Gary Busey’s idea of a balanced breakfast is a bottle of tequila and the souls of unborn children. Tastes good and good for you.
There’s a reason Gary Busey’s landlord waited over a year to evict Busey for not paying rent. That reason is because his tennant is FUCKING GARY BUSEY.
There’s a reason that Gary Busey and Jake Busey are never seen in the same place at the same time…
What wasn’t included is that he’s paying his attorney in chicken wing suppositories
The real reason why the landlord refused to enter and clean out the vents?
Gary Busey has a pet Alien and it lives in the ventilation system of his house.
Anybody else want to start an online petition to force Uwe Boll to let Gary Busey move in with him?
I know it’s been a long time since online petitions meant anything, but just think how different America would be without online petition signatures like "Hey Abe Lincol[o]n, end slavery cuz haveing slavez iz ghey. k thx bye"
Gary Busey’s vents are dirty because he has radon pumped into his house 24/7.
Gary Busey uses warm fuzzies as currency.
He’s not buying his estate why?
Gary Busey cleaned his own vents by telling them that he was disappointed in their laziness.
Gary Busey thought the landlord was supposed to be paying him to live there.
This landlord is being a prick anyway. He charges the rest of his renters in blowjobs (even the guys), he only charges Gary Busey real money because when he saw Busey’s teeth, he contracted a sudden case of cold-showerosis.
The landlord got the dust and pet dander out, but refused to do ANYTHING about the nanites.
Gary Busey refused to pay rent to that uptight landlord because technically Gary Busey does not live there. Gary Busey exists. You cannot charge rent for existence, now can you?
This means Gary Busey is going to have to sacrifice a virgin to appease the Lord of the Land.
Zog know thing or two about hunt coyote. Zog think like coyote, Zog catch coyote.
Gary Busey think like cement mixer, Gary Busey no catch coyote.
Michael Madsen feels his pain. He was evicted last year because his landlord wouldn’t accept poems as payment.
It’s weird how I can’t even picture Busey doing normal things in a normal house like eating and sleeping. A warm nutrient bath and a hyperbaric chamber? Sure, no problem.
The health problems about which Gary Busey is complaining? He claims that he remains Gary Busey solely because of those vents and that the dirty air is keeping him from evolving into his true, energy-based form.
Rot, I imagine Busey feeding a half a dozen piglets from his teats while watching Bonanza.
I wonder how Gary feels about possums. See, i have a slight problem with them getting into my basement and i have this spare room down there…
Honestly, I thought Gary lived in cave……on one of Jupiter’s moons.
New post!
Gary Busey insists that all his business relations, for health reasons, "clean out the vents" at Gary Busey’s High Colon Cleansing Spa and Resort.
Hey, I posted this last week, to scare Al into thinking he was coming to Canada.He still is Al!!! Run to Norway, hurry!
STAY OUT OF MALIBU, DEADBEAT!!