COWBOY CAGE TACKLES THAILAND
04.30.08
God, what would FilmDrunk be without goofy pictures of Nic Cage? Check out these new stills from the chick puncher/alleged Chihuahua thief’s upcoming movie, Bangkok Dangerous (you can read the rundown here). He’s not wearing a bear suit in any of them, but he might as well be. I think that scene in Wicker Man where he’s trying to look incognito amongst a procession of young girls while wearing a 6’5” bear costume has become a metaphor for his career. “Shhh, I’m disappearing into this role. Don’t tell anyone it’s me.”
I’m not posting all 45 pics from RopeofSilicon, my source, but I’ll give you enough to get a taste of his creepy forehead. I’m convinced that at some point the skin on his scalp was torn off and the doctor just painted his skull flesh colored.
This one might be my favorite. The elephant’s staring at Cage as if someone just slipped it a peanut laced with angel dust. Yeah, elephant, we see it too.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Nic-Cage-yearbook-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2011/11/eyelash-kiss-virgins-150x150.gif)
Either that’s not Nic Cage’s real body or somebody lied to me in Ghost Rider.
To really get into his role, Cage spent countless nights with Thai he/shes. The director found this odd because there are no sex scenes.
Yeah, Nic Cage’s movies tend to ‘bang’ my ‘kok’, so definitely not a good thing. I’m all man, baby.
Are we sure that’s Nic Cage? I can’t even see his forehead.
Sorry, didn’t look at the bottom pics. Definitely him.
Third pic on the top right… Nic Cage looking veeeeery BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN-ish.
I wish Hollywood knew how to quit you, Nicholas.
If Golden Palace ever tried to buy that forehead ad space it would cause a bank collapse trying to pull that much paper currency out at one go.
Panic of 1907 humor is all the rage, bitches.
Soooo, elephants just roam free on the streets of Bangkok, do they? I’m sure that in Africa the dinosaurs do too, and the giant gorillas.
His haircut is as ridiculous as shaving your pubes but leaving your balls hairy.
*Chodin pokes noodle-covered head out from inside dumpster*
Psssttt, did you guys see a giant dragon named Falcor fly through here!?
They messed up and put in a still at the bottom from Nic’s other upcoming film "WBOY 2". I think it’s a sequel to THE WATERBOY. I can’t verify that, but I don’t really care, so there.
No Cho, but i did see hair running away from Nic Cages forehead.
I’m a little surprised you didn’t include pic #28 Vance. Cage is definitely trying to eye-fuck the back of that blurry guy’s skull.
http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/movie/bangkok_dangerous/stills/28
Nicolas Cage vs. Johnny Cage!!
Who wins? Johnny gets to do his scrotum-punch, Nic gets to wear his bear-suit.
http://www.evolutionfairytale.com/giraffe1.htm
New best website on the internet. Bye, Lance!
(be sure to click the arrow enough times to see what happens to the poor giraffe)
Hey! Nic Cage stole The Mighty One’s black wifebeater!!!!!!! (not "black wife" beater)
I’ve got a cowboy cage in the basement. We can’t trust them to be loose in the house while we’re at work.
Also, if any of you FilmDrunkards want a taste of what real acting range is, I invite you to look at all 45 of those pictures. Cage goes from "blank stare at camera for poster" in picture 1 all the way to "blank stare at ground while stretching" in pic 41.
Remember when he was cool? I seem to recall a time when people liked him, although it could be the booze talking.
That banner pic reminds me of a Honduran bar I sometimes go into (never alone though) called The Country and Western…
http://www.evolutionfairytale.com/giraffe1.htm
hahahahaha yes!!, the idea that heart valves in a giraffe could evolve over time is ALMOST as insane as the idea that mankind was created from dust… or even more insane: that Nicolas Cage will be taken seriously by FilmDrunkards (or the general populace) ever again.
Huh, I would have sworn that elephant was one of your Photoshop jobs, Vance, maybe Polly the Pachyderm of Perplexity, trying to figure out why people keep hiring Nic Cage.
Nic Cage’s forehead looks like the shit bad dreams are made out of.
Why doesnt someone tell him that he shouldnt dye it black? It looks even stranger that way.
AlterAlternate movie title:
Bang the Kok Dangerously
Not even Nic Cage’s hairline wants anything to do with his forehead.
*pic 6: Great marketing job by making his dome the "O" in "COWBOY."
When Nic Cage and Crispin Glover were friends in high school, did they make some kind of bet about who could have the creepiest career trajectory?
I would like him better, I think, if he changed his name to Nicolas Cage-Match. Then, I would have no choice but to accept him as a true man’s man.
Nic Cage’s haircuts invariably make him look like a recently-shaved lobotomy patient.
Nick Cage’s forehead requires a 50 gallon cowboy hat.
If Nic Cage headbutts you, someone in your family dies.
Nic Cage is what Alex Van Halen looks like to Eddie Van Halen.
… and yes, I am going to keep making variations on the same goddamn joke until someone realizes I’m a misunderstood genius, thanks for asking.
Nic Cage has two signature looks: “forehead” and “forehead combo meal”.
Teens use Nick Cage’s forehead to breakdance on.
Nick Cage coughed, farted and sneezed at the same time and his forehead stayed like that.
Nic Cage’s forehead has no reflection.
Nick Cage has a shoulder for a forehead.
Nic Cage’s forehead graduated from Yale in ’64.
Nick Cage attached large combs to John Travolta’s Boeing 707 and had him fly over his head to style his hair.
Busey looks at Cage’s fivehead and says "Thats freaking weird"
Nic Cage’s forehead is on a 3000 calorie diet.
The boiling point of Nic Cage’s forehead is 6. 6 what, we don’t know yet.
Nic Cage calls his forehead "Steve" because that pisses it off.
Nic Cage’s forehead types 112 words per minute.
Nic Cage’s forehead was granted to him by Gary Busey. It is actually a coyote carcass.
Nick Cage carries around red flashlights to "wave off" airplanes trying to land on his forehead.
Nic Cage’s forehead speaks 11 languages. None of them are English.
When Nick Cage’s mouth flushes the toilet, the water turns the opposite way of when his hair flushes the toilet.
Nick Cage’s forehead beats him to all of his destinations by 5 minutes.
Nick Cage buys Noxema by the tanker-truck.
Nick Cage’s for head is known to scientists as "Pangea".
Nick Cage’s forehead is used as a ramp for stunt scenes.
Nick Cage’s forehead will outlive Nick Cage. By decades.
At Nick Cage’s birthday parties, his forehead would always blow out the candles on the cake.
Nic Cage’s forehead is still huge if you look at it under an upside-down microscope.
Nic Cage’s forehead didn’t want to be in 3000 Miles to Graceland so the producers used a forehead double, Michael Clarke Duncan’s shoulder.
I don’t want to say Nic Cage has a big forehead, but sometimes he has to duck when planes fly over!
Take my wife please!
*violin solo
Nic Cage’s forehead had an affair with Lisa Marie Presley’s ass
3000 miles is the estimated distance from ear to ear.
Gary Busey knows only three words of french, all three mean…oh shit. Sorry guys. Thought we were talking about somebody else.
*SMB backs out of room slowly*
If Nic Cage stands facing exactly 114 degrees north-west and tilts his head at a 37 degree angle, he can listen to XM radio on his fillings.
Nick Cage uses the equator as a sweat band.
I’m looking forward to Nic’s next film. He plays a black inner-city girl who enters a wiccan spelling competition, titled Akeelah and the BEEES OH MY GOD NOT THE BEEESSSS ARRRRRGH AHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO.
When Nic Cage’s forehead retires from acting, he’ll replace it with a Home Depot.
New up, Cage fuckers
thank khaless! finally
Nic cages forehead is so big, we’re on it right now.