A Hollywood insider and avid (belligerent?) FilmDrunkard has informed me that the studio who made the Anaconda sequels is developing a buddy heist movie called Safe Bet, with Gary Busey and Adam West attached. Now, this sounds very much like an unverified AICN rumor, but… uh, so’s your face.
I’m sure the movie will go straight to DVD if it ever even makes it to production, but I don’t think it’s too much to hope for a trailer at least as good as this one. It’s an interesting pairing, because real-life Busey is at least as colorful as Adam West’s Family Guy alter ego (funnier, too).
Busey facts of the day: Gary Busey was breast fed until the age of 25 by a mysterious Chinese woman he later killed and ate. Gary Busey had to remove the batteries in his smoke alarm because it would go off every time he orgasmed. Later he burned his house down, just to prove a point.
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Take this down until we resolve the Batman issue, dumbass!
Add Ted Nugent to the cast and this will be box office gold.
I’d say it’s a Safe Bet the entire cast and crew will be gutted like fish.
I dunno if this has been mentioned and I missed it, but I sent Lance this link: http://blog.wired.com/games/2008/04/the-craziest-th.html and not only did he decide not to post it, his email response to me was simply a jpeg attachment that is either an Ansel Adam sunset or an extreme closeup of his bung. Anyhoo, this merely proves that Busey’s real life is better than anything we can make up.
"What was the freakiest thing you ever snorted blow off of when you were a prominent coke fiend?
Busey: I came home one day, took off my windbreaker, and three bindles of cocaine fell to the floor. Well, my dog, Chili, who has short hair, came in and laid on her back with her legs in the air, and she rubbed all my cocaine on her back and side. I yelled, "No, Chili! No" So I got a straw, and I started brushing her hair and snorting where I saw cocaine. Back, butt, side — not a spot was left. It took me 25 minutes to snort all the cocaine the dog had on her coat. The fringe benefits of this were that the fleas, the dog hair, the mud, and the sweat went in my nose, too. It’s not a good flavor coming off the dog."
Not only does he freely admit to snorting cocaine out of a dog’s anus, he pauses to consider its taste like he was at a Napa Valley wine tasting. "Hmmmm, full bodied yet playful…with just a hint of squirrel."
Under Seige was on last night. Not funny or news, just saying it made me think of you guys. Then I changed the chanel.
Every time Lance links to that trailer I get a gold star!
In related news:
Today’s coffee is making my stoumach play a bassline.
that is not a gary busey approved banner pic
Michelle-Did you at least watch long enough to see Segal stab that guy in the armpit…TWICE???
cocoa chanel?
No, but I did watch long enough to see Tommy Lee Jones trying to act like a rock star. Gave me the heebie jeebies. Segal was in the background. It was magical.
I have a very fancy tv.
so, i was reading my 2-day old newspaper and stumble across this starbucks ad. apparently, they are dursting so badly that theyre giving away coffee till may 28!
what’s the point of that post? i made a shit ton of money by selling their stock. assholes.
gary busey proved string theory.
cocoa chanel?
Isn’t the BET?
Oh…….wait.
*Chodin crawls into work, two hours late and still hungover: TRUE STORY*
I really need to get better at this whole “drinking” thing.
sorry guys had to get that one outta my system
nigga chode, what it do?!
I think it’s only on Wednesdays though. Yeah they are getting their asses handed to them.
And if there’s anyone else who is refusing to work today, http://gawker.com/378339/the-top-50-comedy-sketches-of-all-time
michelle, stop link jacking!
Chod, I know what will kill that hang over.
*slowly hands Chodin boot of piss filled to the brim*
Here ya go, lil’ buddy.
I don’t know what that means.
Any of it. All day long. I’m going to sleep.
You know…there’s times in your life where you need to ask yourself: do I have the strength to carry a Busey thread?
And the answer should always be: FUCK YES.
Is that a picture of Margaret Thatcher?
Gary Busey digs up dead bodies, just to put party hats on them and then re-bury them.
It’s Jame Dudy Dench
who here knows how to cook a fuckn baked potato?! i’d call my mom but im pretty sure by now she only knows how to pour her food.
Gary Busey checks out library books and then immediately gives them right back.
He drank Kool-Aid with his eyes.
Gary Busey rides an ostrich to auditions.
Gary Busey applied for Satan’s job but he was over-qualified.
Dub, microwave it.
Poke some holes in it for airflow.
An average potato takes about 4:30 in the "nuker."
Gary Busey has a “think tank” in the trunk of his car.
seriously? for how long?
Gary Busey uses an internet browser that hasn’t even been invented yet.
Wrap it in foil (pierce the skin w/ a fork) and bake it for an hour at 350 degrees. Or microwave it for (also w/ pierced skin) for like 9 minutes.
Gary Busey chews other peoples nails.
Gary Busey thinks his name spelled backwards is still Gary Busey.
awesome. thanks luch.
Gary Busey buys shit and gives his receipts to the homeless.
Gary Busey doesn’t like the way your potato is looking at him.
9 minutes?
Well I do have a sweet microwave but 9 minutes?
and michelle
just test it after the 4:30 and see if its soft. if it is, its good. if not, 2 or 3 more minutes.
Gary busey was sent to San Quentin to scare Charles Manson straight.
Gary Buseys’ iPod is an empty cigarette box with 3 quarters in it.
gary busey cuts the heads off his dolls and donates their bodies to science
My potatoe are HUGE – Luch is right test it after 4 minutes.
Gary Busey drinks by himself.
Wrap it in foil and microwave it. Toss the fork in there, too.
Gary Busey is actually a really dedicated method actor and has been preparing for a role for the last 40 years.
gary busey slays dragons in coloring books
Gary Busey isn’t that interested in where you work.
Gary Busey listens for the subliminal message in songs with the music on pause.
gary busey thinks the map in LOTR is the map to kansas
Gary Buseys tears can cure cancer but he only cries every 10,000 years.
gary busey always guesses the correct price in ‘price is right’ but ‘passes’
Gary Busey is searching every flea market in the word for LOLlerskates.
Earth exists because Gary Busey lost a bet with God.
gary busey thinks he’s stuck in a game of jumanji
Cheetahs are the fastest animal on earth because they’re running from Gary Busey.
Gary Buses always phrases his answers in the form of a question.
gary busey communicates via monkey messenger.
he ate the pigeon.
Gary Busey really does have the whole world in his hands.
Gary Busey is totally Gary Busey.
(my ears just popped)
Gary Busey cooks his potatoes under his couch.
Those aren’t teeth, they’re SPACE STATIONS!
I didn’t kill that chink! She died by "frenzy stabbing" heself in the coccyx screaming that people dont have tails. Of course, I ground her up, dried her out, and snorted her.
Gary Busey will never win a COTW, because he IS a COTW.
gary busey sold the rights to ‘monsters inc.’ to pixar, originally that was his plot to his autobio
Gary Busey keg stands Heineken mini kegs.
Gary Busey sat on a cherry pie and changed it to a fart pie.
Gary Busey is sunning himself on a boulder in Joshua Tree right now on his yearly lizard commune.
Gary Busey keeps a rabbit’s body without a foot on his key chain.
chode, true story: ive tried to do a keg stand on one of those
Gary Busey says “heself”.
Gary Busey punches the nearest woman every time he hears the word football because he gave himself a hypnotic suggestion that he later forgot to undo.
But have you tried doing a keg stand with the can kegs?
gary busey relates to muslims
DUB, even truer story: I actually did a keg stand on one of those…in the back of a car…driving home from Vegas.
gary busey lets midgets toss him for the ‘adrenaline rush’
Gary Busey will only go through fat food drive-thrus backwards.
wwbd says
gary busey
relatestomuslimsgary busey thinks shrek was a true story.
chode, that’s why i FUCKN LOVE YA, HOMBRE!
Gary Busey sued himself for slander.
Gary Busey starts every sentence with ‘true story’
Gary Busey only q-tips his left ear
Gary Busey brought his own submarine to the filming of Under Siege
Gary Busey has an enormous collection of novelty beach towels from Orlando
Gary Busey has fuzzy slippers that look a LOT like Kevin Spacey’s lost Pomeranians.
I use r’s at my discetion. It’s a ploy to keep you hoodlums on you heels.
gary busey buys himself -1st place trophies in debate to prove how much better he is than 1st and 0 place
Gary Busey is the only one who can hear you scream in space.
You all owe me your lives. I jumped off of my motocycle and headbutted that curb to stop the big one. Anybody else have di da boo?
Gary Busey is Jacktion!
Gary Busey likes to douse himself in chum and then go swimming in shark infested waters. He has yet to be attacked by a shark because they all suspect it’s a trap, which it is.
Gary Busey is sick and tired of those damn fire ants!
Gary Busey demanded the body bag scene in Batman be removed when he found out I wanted it left in, and raped a squirrel to prove it!
Gary Busey plays Hungry Hungry Hippos when you’re not at home.
gary busey wears otter fur coats so we can ‘never get wet’
Gary Busey pisses pomp and shits circumstance.
Dammit, I fucked that up.
I mean Gary Busey is Jacktion! in a Gary Busey suit.
True story, I had a case of road rage this morning. I got out of my car and out came a Dwarf. The dwaf shook his stubby little finger at me and said, "Im not happy!" So I asked him, "Well, which one are you?"
Then I threw him into a culvet and crashed my car into it.
gary busey likes to practice calligraphy
Gary Busey will only sign something if he can draw a dick on it too.
Gary Busey wears a fishnet body stocking when he vacums his house.
gary busey is the alpha and omega
Good lord, I looked at that banner pic and the next thing I know, it’s 15 minutes later and my eyes are completely dried out.
Gary Busey had all the mirrors in his house custom made with the phrase "Objects in mirror may be more dangerous than they appear" printed at the bottom.
Gary Busey is afraid of nuclear war.
Only because he doesn’t want it to upheave *HIM* as the reason for the end of the world.
Gary Busey cloned himself and did a complete recreation of the movie Face/Off, now Gary Busey can’t remember if he’s the good one or the evil one.
Gary Busey sends text messages in morse code.
The Luch is wrong. But the little man pulling the levers in my brain doesn’t give a fuck.
Any of you ever jump into a dumpste and roll yourself down a hill? It’s an awesome way to wake up, I call it, Gavity Works!
Gary Busey once had something stuck in his teeth. It was a Buick.
If Gary Busey ever sees this, we are all fucking dead.
No, really, he will kill us and fuck us!
gary busey makes appearances at strangers funerals and pays his respects to the widow(er)
Your nightmares are Gary Busey’s wet dreams.
gary busey wrote his name on the seat of a bus
Gary Busey thinks Weezer’s blue album was the green album.
gary busey visits schools to lecture about quantum mechanics
Gary Busey plays freeze tag with himself.
The girl crowned Cranberry Festival Queen has to spend a night being hunted by Gary Busey in the forest of their choice.
I kicked George Washingto’s ass at thumb wrestling last week. Guy’s got the hands of a dandy seamstress, but the HEART of a fucking ZULU CHIEF!
Gary Busey had all the airbags in his car replaced with shards of glass. This way, if he’s ever in an accident, he has a better chance of getting a "Bitchin’ scar".
Gary Busey certainly can can-can.
When life gives Gary Busey lemons, he kills it.
On his high school football team, Gary Busey was one yard away from running a winning touchdown, but he stopped at the goal line to punt for no reason.
Gary Busey fills his pillow cases with bubble wrap.
I breed ROUS’s in Jake’s old room.
Gary Busey is already aware of your next comment, and he appreciates it.
Except for Pauly’s next comment to which he responds, "Your mother does."
Gary Busey sleeps on top of his 12 thread count sheets.
Gary Busey makes awesome chicken enchiladas.
Gary Busey wears jeans to bed at night.
Gary Busey beat world 1 in Super Mario Brothers and was so mad about the Princess being in another castle that he built his own castle out of discarded roofing shingles and put up a sign outside that reads NO CROSS-DRESSING PRINCESS MIDGETS!
I knew a jap named Yuki Inyoue. I had to peel his off like you skin a banana because anybody named yuky in you is a FUCKING threat! I don’t care ABOUT manners!
Gary Busey is still looking for Ray Charles to give "the right thing baby" back to him because he believes that the child will grow to be the anti-christ.
Your mothe does.
Gary Busey has vowed to kill and eat Marmaduke.
I’m looking through Lance Mangina’s window right now. That’s right thumb boy, take a drink.
NASA had to ask Gary Busey permission to land on the moon and it wasn’t even his. He rented it from a giant turtle he’d been tracking but had come to respect.
Gary Busey is.
gary busey just put his potatoes in the microwave
Gary Busey has half a treasure map tattooed on his right thigh and he’s convinced that Dakota Fanning’s heart is the other half.
Gary Busey says "It’s better to burp and taste it, than fart and waste it."
Gary Busey sounds like Celine Dion when he sings.
Gary Busey likes his English Muffins lightly toasted. HE SAID LIGHTLY, DAMN YOU CHODE!
Gary Busey is the mascot for the BTK Raders.
Now, if you all will excuse me, I am going to go make some tacos. Kobe beef tacos that I will smother with stollen packets of Taco Bell fire sauce.
I also realize that my comment at 14:32 would have been much funnier if I had remembered to put wing wang in it.
gary busey thinks tires are the ‘forbidden cheese’
Great, right in the middle of a Gary Busy thread and I have to take off for lunch. On the plus side, I’ll be coming back drunk and in a better mood. Please have this thread up to at least Page 8 on my return.
Regards,
Al
HA! Made you look! Dance my puppets, dance! You’re no Kermit fat BOY!
EEEEeeeeehaaaaw!!!
Gary Busey’s bathroom mirror is covered with gummi bears he licked and stuck on it.
Gary Busey likes to startle moles by sticking his head in the ground and talking Jive.
Gary Busey violently eats Snickers Bars because he hates it when candy laughs at him.
Gary Busey’s nose listens to rap music.
Gary Busey knows where the beef is.
Gary Busey put the lime in the coconut.
Gary Busey still drinks Crystal Pepsi.
Gary Busey’s balanced breakfast consists of tequila and the souls of the damned.
Pauly, Gary Busey still drinks 7-Up Gold as well.
Gary Busey is, does, will, won’t, can, can’t, wears, kills, reads, burns, fires, muffles, has, hasn’t, did, didn’t, refuses to, and is more than happy to be…………….people.
Gary Busey calls doctors "The Medicine" and he’s always offering them spoonfuls of sugar.
Gary Busey hasn’t been there, but he has done that.
Gary busey went to Japan just to track and murder the guy who programmed the
laughing dog in Duck Hunt
Mission was accomplished
gary Busey invented the 4th Meal.
Gary Busey had a water hardener installed in his house.
Hate to ruin the Busey thread, but where the fuck is Eibz to explain this shit?
http://www.withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=5484
Gary Busey waits patiently for another thread.
Gary Busey is a water hardener.
* BTK, wouldn’t a freezer technically be a water hardener?
Gary Busey is the opposite of Fred Durst.
The reason that Greedo shot first is because Gary Busey is Greedo!!!
Gary Busey is a stranger in a strange land.
Gary Busey cannot possibly be Greedo. Greedo = dead. Busey = Busey. You see the dilemma.
Gary Busey growls at mall Santas.
Gary Busey reads "Where’s Waldo?" books for the articles.
The reason Han shot first is that he was aiming for Busey. No Buseys were harmed in the production.
Gary Busey re-paints the numbers on speed limit signs to say “the sky”.
Gary Busey snorts oxygen and gets high. Cocaine has no effect on him.
Gary Busey’s favorite movie is “Junior”.
Gary Busey invented Karate by accident. He was learning to play the piano at the time but thought the piano was insulting him every time he hit a bum note. He left music behind and know just hits bums.
Gary Busey tries to shake trees to death.
Busey likes to go fishing with Warwick Davis because he has crazy little stories
When Gary Busey gives you a piece of his mind, he literally FedExs it to you.
Gary Busey discovered jenkem by accident when his closet full of jar containing his offal was broken into by Gary Busey.
Gary Busey uses the Pothagorean Therom in color by number books.
Gary Busey thinks Canada is a state in the US.
Gary Busey knows that america is ready for a black president: Gary Busey
I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight because of this thread. I’ll be tossing and turning all night chanting "Gary Busey is under my bed!".
Gary Busey once dug a tunnel all the way to Venus.
Gary Busey is gearing up to rob your "Spank Bank".
Gary Busey carries around a sledgehammer so he is able to dismantle any wardrobes he comes across. He put them damn kids in Narnia and they are going to fucking STAY until they LEARN!
Gary Busey breaths on his shirts to dry clean them.
Gary Busey parties with Michael Jackson’s son Blanket, all the time.
Kurg, Gary Busey is under your bed.
Gary Busey writes witty headlines for entertainment periodicals.
Gary Busey keeps breaking Ohm’s law.
Gary Busey was the wrathful god from Star Trek V.
Gary Busey beats Bing Crosby’s children.
Gary Busey challenged a Russian bear to a vodka drinking contest. He won hands down.
Gary Busey’s bathroom is a temporal nexus.
Gary Busey is best friends with the retarded Doug Kinney in Multiplicity.
Gary Busey thinks his T.V. is “up to something”.
Gary Busey invented the pants party.
Gary Busey travelled to the future and killed himself. Then he travelled to the past and killed himself. There can be only one Gary Busey.
Gary Busey taught Data the Vulcan Neck Pinch.
Donkey, you win.
Gary Busey invented the Vulcan Neck Pinch while scratching his neck. He blinked.
Gary Busey left front tooth won the Stanley Cup all by itself.
Gary Busey doesn’t allow Donkey to win. Only Busey can win. Ever. Period.
The Boogeyman won’t open his closet at night because he is afraid Gary Busey is in there freebasing Ajax.
Didn’t somebody already do "All of Busey’s teeff are cyanide capsules" yesterday? It’s still true.
Gary Busey has donated many organs to hospitals. Not his own, but he does deliver them personally and always says, "Askey no questions and me tella no lies." which always gets a laugh from the patients. The laughs on them though as the organs were taken from their alternate selves in a parallel universe.
Gary Busey is the C.E.O of the Acme Corporation.
Gary Busey considers Dannis Rader an "amateur".
gary buseys 24 rape convictions stem from being taught to never take ‘no’ for an answer as a kid
gary busey plays hide and seek at the morgue. he always wins.
momma busey gave gary sticks of butter to calm down as a child
Gary Busey golfs from his front yard, over his house into the backyard.
Fixing the warp drive wouldn’t have even come close to killing Gary Busey (at the end of Wrath of Khan).
Gary Busey plays CDs on his record player.
Klingons control the Tribble population by threatening them with Gary Busey.
Gary Busey fucks Chuck Norris and then calls him a “fag”.
Gary Busey is Darth Vader’s father!
Gary Busey killed Laura Palmer
Gary Busey loves to make prank phone calls, but always forgets to NOT leave his contact info.
Tartar sauce freaks Gary Busey the fuck out.
Gary Busey doesn’t have a keyboard or a mouse for his computer, just a microphone that he screams ones and zeroes into until the machine does what he wants it to do.
Gary Busey skips man-hole covers over ponds.
Gary Busey likes to do all his cooking in one of those giant cauldrons much loved by cartoon cannibals. He likes to cook time garnished in gravity with a side order of energy. He grows his own.
The Sarlaac Pit pays homage to Gary Busey by swallowing any human being it finds.
Gary Busey hates Alpha Bits because they don’t have umlauts.
gary busey hunt and hollows out bears to hibernate during summer, then gives the carcass to jake busey for a halloween costume
Gary Busey likes to dress like Mr. Peanut.
Gary Busey orders dessert by asking for the “desert menu”.
Gary Busey cut off his own pinky and sent it to his bookie to let him know he meant business.
It grew back three days later.
Gary Busey pisses shit.
Gary Busey has one of them tubes they used to revive Luke in Echo base, AND a taun-taun.
Keith Richards and Gary Busey had a contest to see who could get the most high in 10 minutes. It was like a fucking black hole.
Gary Busey uses Post-its and ink toner as "chips and dip".
When the Apache coined the term "white devil", it was Gary Busey they had in mind.
To make it rain at the strip clubs, Gary Busey pisses on the strippers, and they like it.
You people really need to get a grip on eality.
Gary Busey can run twice the speed of smell.
Gary Busey was actually Jack the Ripper.
Gary Busey doesn’t trust your senses.
Gary Busey actually throws people and guages how much he can trust them by how far away they land.
Gary Busey had all the outlets in his house upped to 440 volts so he’d notice if he accidentally electocuted himself.
Gary Busey says that the leaning tower of Pisa just has bad posture.
Gary Busey can eat sand, then shit chandeliers.
Gary busey is keeping Lance from posting something new
Gary Busey is the only one who knows what the hell fat-free half-and-half is.
Gary Busey giggles because he knows your impending doom.
Gary Busey would piss on you if you were on fire.
In the event of an alien invasion, Gary Busey has been given permission by the wind to unleash his full crazy. According to legend this is akin to that timid black chick from the Police Academy movies speaking with the Voice of God through a fucking megaphone.
Gary Busey doesn’t trust pineapples.
Gary Busey right tooth is working on the global warming solution, should be all figured out by nightfall.
Gary Busey once fought Bruce Greenwood, and won
Gary Busey spiritual advisor is Teddy Ruxpin.
Gary Busey doesn’t want to use paper OR plastic. He brings his own burlap bags to the store.
Gary Busey foresaw the new post that’s up.
I once made an engine that got 90mpg out of Legos. Who knew Legos could melt?
No, Stone, fat free Half and Half is the Devils jizz, everyone knows that. Sorry
Eibz! Where da fuck you been? Explain this at once!
http://withleather.com/post.phtml?pk=5484
Gary Busey’s ass wipes itself.
For every pumpkin that’s been carved out at Halloween, Gary Busey has a body made from rhubarb. He will unite the two entities and create an army should the scarecrows ever get organised.
New post, but it sucks.
Apologies to Al. Looks like we only made it to six.
Gary Busey scuba dives by dragging a trash bag of air down with him.
Gary Busey scuba dives by dragging down a trash bag full of air. He makes it work.
Seriously I didn’t get any sleep last night.
Gary Busey will ONLY compare apples to oranges.
I don’t know why you people insist on antagonizing the man. You know that he can see you through the picture right? He can hear and see people through all of his pictures.
Gary Busey’s skeleton is going to look insane.
Erswi, I had nothing to do with that, honest!