BRITISH PEOPLE ARE BAD AT MAKING TRAILERS

Only in the movies would someone that looks like Gemma Arterton fuck someone that looks like MacKenzie Crook.  Or Britain.  Damn, I need to renew my passport.

Sup bitches.  I decided that I’m staying in my office until I finished grading all of the papers that I’ve been ignoring.  Fortunately, I keep a flask in my desk and after 10 pm it’s fairly safe to touch myself so all in all, it’ll be just like I’m at home.  Expect regular and increasingly less coherent updates.

I suppose another way of saying "increasingly less coherent" would be simply "increasingly incoherent" or "decreasingly coherent" but apparently reading all of these papers will double as an experiment in which I prove that stupid is contagious.

(the long pauses between posts are either because I graded a paper or went outside to smoke or made a trip to the breakroom for more ice) 

My favorite students are the ones with severely disturbed senses of humor (and they’re just all kinds of awesome).  Kinda makes sense I suppose, but you’d be amazed at how uptight some of these underclassmen can be.  I mean, you get within a couple inches of their pooper and they’re all like "Hey, that’s my no-no place."  Sheesh, there’s just no talking to this generation.

By the way, do any of you remember when desks had built in ash-trays and by the end of a 90-minute lecture, the classroom looked (and smelled) like the lounge at a bowling alley?   If I were Secretary of Education, I’d bring those back.  Also, I’d have a staff masseuse.

If someone in my class is wearing a beret, they better be either a) French or b) Clark Griswold (some exceptions can be made if they have boobs, but they better be really nice boobs…and yes, this only applies to females.  Guys with gynecomastia don’t count).

By the way Chod, just tell your future spawn that "reading’s for pussies."  That’s what I tell my nieces and nephews  troubled runaways that I pick up at highway rest-stops kids I "mentor" at the Y my cats.

Its fun to just type stuff like no one sees it.

Pretty much what writing a dissertation feels like.  I’m often tempted to just start writing stream-of-consciousness stuff that would make the Uni-bomber say "Dude, that’s just nuts."

I will say this about the Non-Trads, when I was at University of Missouri-Kansas City, I taught some extra night classes in a special program for returning adults (3 hour classes, one night a week) so everyone was a non-trad and they were pretty awesome.  The older black ladies would bring me food because they thought I was too skinny and this one factory dude would always interpret whatever novel we were reading in terms of his work relationship with his dickhead boss.  Also, I always saw these people out at bars and I have a policy that if one of my students actually uses something they learned from me, they owe me a beer.  Plus, the strippers used to hook me up like crazy.

As for Fool the Bert, I love that (and I have an architect friend who told me something very similar).  Fortunately, Microsoft Word has this great feature where it will merge and compare two drafts of the same document and highlight the differences.  Of course, I don’t tell the students about this, so they think I’m much smarter than I am.