ZOMBIE STRIPPERS
03.10.08This trailer hit like a week ago, and somehow I missed it. It’s called Zombie Strippers, and the name is pretty self-explanatory. My favorite line?
"What seems to be the problem, Doctor?"
"Believe it or not: Zombies."
Possible tagline: "They’re already dead – on the inside." Still, I’m a little sad to see that Jenna Jameson has sunk to Carmen Electra’s level. [Editor's Note: That's a burn.]
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Strippers who transmit a horrifying virus? That’s not science fiction, it’s my misspent youth.
"believe it or not" put the Greatest American Hero theme song in my head but now it’s
"Believe it or not zombie zooommbie,
zombie zombie Oh ohh ohh ohh.
Peeling away at my skin and my nails.
Whoooo could it beeeee? My tennis shoes smell just like peeeeeeee"
thank you, thank you very much.
Robert Englund?! Hooray! Although I don’t think he will ever outdo his groundbreaking performance in 2001 Maniacs.
Oh Nix, that was a wonderful film, wasnt it?
Clearly these girls had zombies for uncles or step fathers.
Zombie Strippers: The 4 day coke binge.
The best part was when she was reading a book.
Shouldn’t their boobs be falling off like Tarantinos balls in Planet Terror?
Zombie Strippers, looking to fill their g strings….WITH BRAINS
Who taught my catcher’s mitt how to talk?
Lisa Rinna, Burnsy, god damned Lisa Rinna
When is Jenna going to announce her starring role in the live action version of Duckman?
Zombie Strippers and the Lap Dance of Death!
"You either have it or you don’t?"
A self-esteem? A normal past? A face that will make a nightmare cry? An operative vagina?
"You either have it or you don’t?"
The clap, chlamydia, name any std really………..
I’m going to hire zombie strippers for my funeral.
"You either have it or you don’t"?
A reserved space at an abortion clinic? The nickname Fist Puppet? A 1 in 10 chance of being killed in a botched crystal meth deal?
Zombie Strippers:Return to Jersey
Look, speaking from experience, there aren’t ANY strippers in Nebraska, zombie or otherwise, that
skinnygood looking.Here’s some more commas for ya. ,,,,,,,,
Unless my nose has been lying to me, most strippers have some dead parts in them.
*Club DJ over the PA system*
Now coming to the main stage, get your money out fellas. This lady died in botched C-section surgery, but you can hardly notice the scar. I give you "Cinnamon".
What we need is more shit zombie movies…
"Zombie strippers are to be ass-ploded." Etcetera.
*Siren goes off. Club DJ over the PA system.*
You know what that sound mean guys. DRINK SPECIALS! We got 5 dollar Patron shots, $6.50 Henny and cokes and 3 dollar bottles of any domestics. Now, coming at you on the main stage, this girl OD’d last week on speedballs. She’s dead inside, but live on stage. Give it up for "Desire".
I’d like to see a comedy about a zombie brain surgeon.
Zombie Strippers:Return to Jersey
Starring:
Zombie stripper names-
I’d also like to be able to juggle.
So it takes place in a town called "Sartre"? Oh, I get it; if you read Being & Nothingness and The Whore, naturally you’re going to write about the reanimated corpses of exotic dancers. Looks like someone has managed to combine their own intellectual self-loathing, poor career choice and painful social rejection into a script that in no way makes up for that lost tuition money.
Who has a bigger snatch, Jenna or Carmen?
Trick question as they have both had the snap put back in their turtle with vaginoplasty. Although I hear Jenna’s went ‘wrong’. Ughhh.
$5 patron shots (paulys work) > $15 patron shots (dubs work)
where is this magical place you work at pauly? it’s like 3 for 1 specials EVERYDAY!
Sartre Nebraska doesn’t exist. There are two things we don’t allow here in Nebraska. Anything French, except french kissing
your sister, and Zombies. Farm chicks are brain-dead enough.Wut chu meen ahm dooin it wrong? Its cawled uh "blow job" aint it?
Or, if you have boobs and don’t mind date rape, $0 Patron shots.
JHC: That’s exactly what I imagine Britney Spears sounding like on her first puff of the magic dragon.
heather: stfu, your brazon showing off of your ‘boobs’ makes you look like a harlot. i, for one, would never ‘buy’ you a ‘drink.’ i, however, would buy you a risin tablet.
Or, if you have boobs and don’t mind date rape, $0 Patron shots. It take more than just tits for me to rape you.
Zombie Strippers:Return to Jersey
Starring:
I don’t take things from foreigners, so that doesn’t matter.
Sorry I excluded minimal facial hair and a pulse, Pauly.
What if there forced upon you , Heather? Like sex?
Will Jaction have lovable ferrets to sneak into locked rooms and let him in? Will he juggle these ferrets?
Who’s dick do I have to suck to get in this movie?
Oh, Luch’s…
(He doesn’t wash much and smells like goat-taint)
Is "the magic dragon" lil’ dub or weed?
Keep in mind, I’m from Nebraska. ::gives the double thumbs pointing to himself::
Nobody is better equipped for a zombie attack than a guy juggling three chainsaws.
Unless he’s being attacked by four zombies.
Zombie stripper names-
The best Zombie Stripper name is: Bea T.K.
things that would need to take place before i think of
rapinghaving intercourse with heather:sorry if the list ran long; what can i say, i’m a needy person.
D.K. is my personal favorite.
and introducing….
bryce, as "Zombie #11"
it’s lil dub, jhc, lil dub.
and shit i forgot to mention that 1-4, 9,10 in the aforementioned list are for heather. 5-8 are for me.
I was assuming you’re a drugged up lesbo wwbd, huh, it’s less interesting this way.
I’m viewing this as a hilarious re-envisioning of a romantic comedy…where some guy can only see strippers for how they are on the inside.
New up pathetic For’shak munchers!
Zombie Strippers? Isn’t that redundant?
"For my sake, suck it up." When’s the last time you heard Jenna say that?
"megan" and "elgroucho" i have no clue wtf you guys said, but i suggest you guys get "avatars" before you’re respected around these here parts. get something classy.
This is like any other Jenna Jameson movie, only without the overacted sex scenes, and only 3/4 the silicon.
There Ain’t No Pulse In The Champaign Room!
The Mighty Fek’lhr is impressed that they were able to cast the ONLY guy in the world that looks more like Freddy Krueger than Jenna Jameson does.
anyone at STDromance.com also missed Zombie Strippers?
I’d rather fuck a Ham and Cheese Hot Pocket then fuck any of YOUR friends nicolexue, you peice of tampon dingleberry.