WEEKEND PREVIEW: DR SEUSS
03.14.08
OPENING THIS WEEKEND:
Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who
Guaranteed to clean up on a weak weekend, and actually looks kind of good. Reuters headline: "Moviegoers can’t ignore elephant in theaters". Get it? Because it’s about an elephant? Omg that’s so clever I want to slam my weiner in the door!
Doomsday
The only question is: Will it be bad or awesomely bad? Either way it’ll be a great Bentley commercial.
Never Back Down
Fail. Though if you do go, be sure to bring your Fox Racing gear.
Funny Games
Watch Tim Roth and Naomi Watts get tortured by the neighbor boys. Or not.
The Grand
Poker movie with a Brett Ratner cameo. Thought you’d sneak it by me, didn’t you, fuckers. Not a chance – I know what nachos smell like.
Lance Recommends: In Bruges. An odd little movie that keeps messing with your expectations. Worth seeing for the dialogue alone.
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Abortion is wrong.
I agree.
I think i’m staying in this weekend and enjoying the threesome with the two special needs kids i’m supposed to be taking out to sell Girl Scout cookies. if we watch anything , it will probably be "Runaway Midget" starring the lovely and talented Bridget Powerz.
Wow, the plot of Horton is strikingly similar to the plot of Suessical, but without singing.
Appearing this weekend – a new roof on my house.
Just thought I’d share.
Why would I listen to the recommendation of a guy who likes Freddy Got Fingered, and who hates a compellingly addictive program like Entourage? Damn You Vince!!!
I’m thinking about coppin’ a squat outside a theater that’s playing "Never Back Down" with a flask of Beam and my tactical baton.
You just know someone’s gonna feel froggy walking out of that bastard, and I’ve had a bad week.
Abortion is an Orgasm gone wrong. Usually my orgasm.
Stone – you have a HOUSE?? How come I have to live in a cardboard box at the side of the road? Oh right, no education, skills, talent, ambition, job…
Damn You Vince!!!
His name is Vance Mantini, get it right.
Wow, the plot of Horton is strikingly similar to the plot of Suessical, but without singing.
If anyone besides you or I know what that means, I’d be shocked.
Stone, I only saw it because my niece perfored it with her 5th grade class last month.
BOOSH!
I know what it means, you crazy moes
How come I have to live in a cardboard box at the side of the road?
At least you have internet there.
I live in your Mom’s garage.
I live in your Mom’s garage
Yes, and why she continues to favour you over me, I’ll never know.
I live in your mom’s crocodile.
Well, I don’t live there, but I spend a lot of time there.
Nice of Hollywood to Durst both poker and MMA in the same weekend, now I can save a trip and not buy tickets to both films at the same time.
Oh, I guess it’s Jack mom’s been favouring. That whore.
I hear Baz Luhrman liked In Bruges so much he’s considering making it into a musical.
No Al, she only favors Jack. She favours me. totally different
Do I need to add the punchline?
I don’t think I do.
My family has been ignoring an Elephant in my living room for years according to my shrink. I look and I still can’t see that fucker.
Oh shit. Ufford is having a nutty again. That cuts it. No more posty-post for yours truly there.
How did the elephant get there? Elephino!
::this punchline was brought to you by ‘Wesley’ from Mr. Belvedere::
I admit I dont know the punchline
Moul In Bruges
I’m going to a BB King concert tomorrow.
Thought you all should know.
I would think Funny Games would be right up the Filmdrunk alley. No?
I’m going to Burger King right now.
GET ME A BK FISH WITH ONION RINGS!!!
I am mortified that I didnt get it. Please, Jacktion, beat me. Its for my own good
I swear to God, one of these days, one of my bricks is going to get you.
^ That was for SMB! not Eib.
That’s exactly what Shaquille O’Neal said to the basketball net
… what? Movie website you say? Fuck!
Wait, what if you missed? Would it then be a reBrick?
Donkey called the rim a basketball net. Good stuff.
Jack- You throw like a girl.
Seriously none of you sick pricks want to watch a BTK movie? I may have misjudged you.
You don’t want to hit the rim, SMB. You want it to go in the rim and hit the net.
Was that the Donkey Punchline?
This was a crap joke, guys.
I didn’t like how the Funny Games trailer used the Beethoven song al a A Clockwork Orange. Why is duplicating something old the new ‘cool’? If that’s the case then all my Whorex’s should be calling for some dick anytime now.
No, no you want to tounge the rim. Hence the name ‘rimjob’.
A crap joke about a crap joke, how very meta Nom.
Well played, pauly. LOL!
Moul In Bruges
Except instead of Nicole Kidman, it would star Angela Bassett.
Umm, thank you Donkey.
::nom shines his sarcasm flashlight at screen, leaving wave of possibilities::
I would think Funny Games would be right up the Filmdrunk alley. No?
Meh, I dunno. I’m not saying it’s going to be good or bad, just that I have no interest in seeing it based on the trailer.
New post. Ladies, if you feel the need to take your panties off, I’ll hold them for you. With my face.
All good points.
Pauly- Funny shit.
Hold on while I go get my pedantic douchebag hat.
That’s not Beethoven in the Funny Games trailer.
Sorry Sheriff, but I didn’t want to google "song in ‘Funny Games’ trailer" ao I took a short-cut and guessed because I don’t have time for that shit being that I’m in a new post.
HULK IS HOPING DOOMSDAY AWESOMELY BAD. INSTEAD OF HULK NEW MOVIE, WHICH AWESOMELY RAD. OR NEW IRON MAN MOVIE, WHICH AWESOMELY SAD.
(ACTUALLY HULK THINK TONY STARK UNAWESOMELY LAME, BUT THAT NO WORK WITH RHYME SCHEME.)
I saw the German-language version of Funny Games. When the little boy gets whacked is kind of funny, but the rest of it not so much. Usually psychopathic torture killers are hilarious.
"In Bruges" was fucking fantastic, great reccomendation. Such a witty, well-written film without shoving "smart-dialogue" down your throat with a surprisingly original performance by Colin Farrell. I love the Restaurant scene with the Canadians for some reason but it was thoroughly enjoyable. Definitely true subversive entertainment. "Doomsday" was like a bunch of really great genre pictures all rolled into one. How Marshall got a film like this greenlit I have no clue. It’s completely batshit insane but extremely entertaining in that Mad Max kind of way. Pretty good performances all around with a surprisingly not bad screenplay. Not to make it sound like a masterpiece though, just like Dog Soldiers and the Descent(to some extent) you’ll only really enjoy this film if you’re in the right headspace and are a genre buff. Extremely violent with a gratuitous ass-shot to boot.
That’s my two fucking cents. You have my respect for reccomending "In Bruges"
I heard Funny Games was really good? Anyone seen it yet?
Funny Games was not good at all. It starts off as some sort of Kubrick-esque taut family in distress thriller but turns into a metafictional senior thesis project(complete with talking to the camera). It’s incredibly acted, but essentially, and you’ll understand this if you waste your money to see it, the entire film makes itself obsolete by the last frame. It’s a smart movie for smart people who hate smart movies. Not really boring, but it’s proves it’s own pointlessness by the final frame.
The movie to see this weekend would be, "Doomsday". It wasn’t bad at all, a great surprise. The trailers don’t sell it very well at all, if you like gratuitous violence and gore(some of the best committed to film recently) and some awesome balls to the wall action check this one out! Sorry if it sounds like I’m shilling this film with these two comments I just really believe people will love this movie if they ever get to see it. It has cult classic written all over it.