03.04.08 THE POETRY OF MICHAEL MADSEN

Oh, Just saw his profile on wealthy dating site ""m i l l i o nairef r i ends.  com" last week. Is he single now? JUst curious.

Fist of Spam!

Poetry, it really is a bunch of wank.

It’s a real shame they don’t have movie like tag lines on the book.  "From the cop in Species comes horrifiying poems of gratuitous nudity and the joys of alcohol abuse."

The Mighty Fek’lhr is not sure "timers" rhymes with "pedophile".

Life can sometimes be a doozy.

Now if you’ll exuse me, 

I have to take a twosie.

Is that Jerry "The Burger King" Lawler?

The question for 46 Down — Who is the worst fucking poet ever?

May be die in a fiery wreck before he goes the way of Tom Sizemore.  Leave us with the good memories of Reservoir Dogs, Mr. Madsen!

Being a Madsen fan, there’s a great section on his site where he writes his opinions on movies he’s been in.

It’s cool to see how an actor feels about being in a movie like "Species 2".

I would rather watch that Simon Cowell movie.

Michael Madsen has lips similar to that of a chicken’s asshole. I would fuck his mouth only after he spat out my scat.

What is low, dirty, or stinky (except the dead kids) about paedophilia?

One of his comments is "It was time to pay the mortgage"

Luch: He has been in a lot of films. It is pretty cool that he rates the movies he’s been in.

The shit, the poem, the saying, the is not, the registering, the in my, the brain.

Thanks for acknowledging my existence bryce.

Been there, sonnet.

Give it a second…..yeah, that’s it.

Yesterday I was the answer to 46 Down in a crossword puzzle in the L.A. Times.

Down 

46. Dickhead poet.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Lance, you beefin on poetry now? Better watch yo ass before AGB hears about this. Besides not all poetry is crap written by Michael Madsen. Same difference, right?

I can’t wait to hear his Shatner-esque spoken word album, Mr. Blonde on Blonde.

A little bird with a yellow bill

Alit upon my windowsill

I coaxed him in with a piece of bread

And then i smashed his fucking head

Fek:  only homos write poems that rhyme.  Or with meter.  Or that, you know… make an ounce of sense.

I’m still looking for one titled "Even I Fucked My Sister (Back When She Was Hot)." 

The little girl cried

I hate the Dalai Lama

See anyone can do it 

Kurg, was that bird the answer to 45 Across? A creature whose death I’d care about more than Michael Madsen’s?

I am Ker’SPlat, Klingon Warrior. Um…do not dishonor me.

Cripes, I just looked him up on imDb… he’s going to be in sixteen films this year.

Does anyone think he actually reads the scripts, or will he basically show up for a role in anything if the coffee is hot and the cash is cold?

One of his own comments on one of his films was "Small role in a Gary Busey thriller."

Sucking ass just so you can suck cock to get money for jenkem isn’t as sad as that statement. 

I seen this little kid,

His face was full of cheer,

I slapped him of his tricycle,

and straight razor’d off his ear.

 Hey what’s goin’ on? Can you hear that?

Ker’SPlat is laughing out loud at some of these comments.

flux:  if he were any kind of poet, he would have phrased that "Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in a thriller with Buse"

Ker’SPlat, any relation to Ker’Plunk?

Fek, is Ker’splat half Oompa Loompah?

I JUST TATTOOED THAT BEAUTIFUL POEM IN TINY LETTERS ON MY BALL SACK.  THANK YOU MICHEAL MARDSEND FOR THE BEAUTY, THEE FEELING, THE RHYME

Hi Pauly, thanks for writing. No, I am not related to "Ker’Plunk". I believe he is in a different warrior clan.

Hi Eibmoz, you are pretty. I don’t know who Fek is, but I am pretty sure I am not Oompa Loompah ha ha ha.

-Ker’SPlat 

Nah, Peet, that’s too deep for Double M.  If he wrote a poem about that movie it’d be more like:

Movie with drunky, he has alcohol issues

I see the same in me, my life, my choices, my kind, my pants, with cheese

Where do we become friends, where do we stop, are we the same

He’s the star, but I am the moon in a new moon state, but i knew i am old

I had a ham sandwich for lunch.  I painted my face in the mustard. 

I understand it is customary for warriors to alert others when there is a new post up.

-Ker’SPlat 

I  haven’t been so moved since reading Jewel’s poetry in "Night Without Armor."

  CAMOUFLAGE
A gay man is sitting in
a hotel lobby

smoking
a cigarette.

He stomachs my
breasts dutifully
like spinach or lima beans
or other things that
make one sick

because he fears
the red-necks

at the bar
are on to him. 

Or was it the No. 2 Dinner at Jaime’s Taco Wagon?

Are you going to

bark all day

little doggy

or are you

 going to bite?

Chuck Bukowski…YOU GOT SERVED!

Madson: "Yesterday I was the answer to 46 Down in a crossword puzzle in the L.A. Times"

The question was "Who phoned in his performance in every movie in the past five years? (Last Name)"  And there weren’t enough spaces for "The Cable Guy".

I was at my poetry editing class when this thread went up. So. Yeah. I heard about this poetry book when Masden came to Toronto for the film festival and promoted it on the radio by illegaly swearing. It was great. The poetry was painful, but the swearing, man, what a rush.

Masden, Madsen.*shrug* Potato, potato.

^Makes sense aloud.

Potato, potato.

^Makes sense aloud.

Unlike Madsen’s poetry, which only makes sense aloud if it’s translated into that Xhosa click-click language.

I heard the next Jason Statham movie is going to have the audio from a Xhosan Madsen poetry reading in its next movie trailer because it’s getting too expensive to use "Click Click Boom" all the time.

I’m waiting for a good non-australian didgeridoo movie soundtrack, among other things.