SEXMAN REVIEWS ‘SEMI PRO’
03.04.08Sexman posted a review of Semi Pro yesterday and somehow I missed it. (In case you’ve been living under a rock or in some third world country like Baltimore, Sexman is FilmDrunk’s official movie reviewer).
I have to say, I wasn’t as impressed with this review. There was far too much summary. Remember, Sexman, a review is 70% summary and 30% analysis. Plus he liked it, and nice reviews are never fun. All in all he gives it four fingers, which I guess is good since he rates movies on a scale of five, but in my experience, being able to fit four fingers is never a good thing.
But Sexman is just a young buck, he’ll learn these things in time.
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Updated for Lance’s Thumb! QAPLAH!
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/2008/01/filmdrunking-by-mighty-feklhr.html
Did Sexman shave? He looks less autistic than usual.
Never have I been so sexually attracted to a film reviewer.
Ah, now I think I know where Uwe stuck his thumb. This explains Sexman’s otherwise inexplicable accent.
(and yes, this gives me more "thumb envy" than Lance’s picture)
We just hired a new tech that looks exactly like Mr. Peepers.
Never have I been so sexually attracted to a
film reviewergrouping of pixelated ghost monsters.fixed (for myself)
You out grow a lisp right?
is it normal i’m totally fucking myself while watching this?
Seeing as how Baltimore is only a 1/2 hour away, I have to say….
Lance, you’re right. That place is a shithole. Especially Dundalk, which is Northeast of Baltimore and smells like Dina Lohan’s crotch (which smells like diesel fumes & ass…I don’t have first-hand experience of Dina’s nether regions. Uwe Boll told me).
Does somebody here have a problem with Baltimora?
The song "Tarzan Boy" changed my life!
I got pros, i got pros. In different area codes. Damn song’s stuck in my head. So, is it me or is Sexcase already exhibiting signs of ennui with this movie reviewing malarky? "The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long – and you have burned so very, very brightly, Sexman."
Are you quoting yourself Chuck?
Give the guy a break. He’s probably just tired from doing blow and finger banging models.
NEW POST!
I suppose by substituting Sexman for Roy, i might be. I dunno. Maybe that was the line in the first draft?
Sexman will return better than ever, I’ll keep the faith, as long as it takes
I don’t feel like he’s talking to just me anymore. What happened Sexy? Lest you forget I knew you when you were just SexBoy.
<img src=http://newtampavending.com/esoteric/sexman.gif>
Gotta love the nerd fit about the lady telling him spiderwick was sold out. Classic Sexman.
Sexman is a badass now? I bet he just told that lady "Schorry Mam, but I’m here to schee Schemi-Pro".
As a direct result of the Baltimore dig, I have decided to hate Sexman and everything he stands for. The whiny voice and convoluted over-estimation of his own machismo is now dead to me.
Also, the Financial Banker who lives 30 minutes away must be a DC guy, as their instant distaste for Baltimore and it’s shithole-ness is directly related to the rampant anal-raping found on the streets of the District.
End of line.
Hee hee, I’ll make sure to insult DC at some point too. Talking trash about cities is fun because everyone gets so mad! I’m from Fresno, so I consider anyone from a place that gets called crappy a kindred spirit.
Wait….I’m from Baltimore too! I never knew there were so many of you guys out there with me. I’m not from the city, don’t worry, I think that’s a shithole too. I’m about 10 minutes up north. Oh I know, that’s a huge difference.
He sure got a pretty mouth, and I live just down the block from him…
Who’s in the mood for fudge?
That ought to keep indoors for a while.
Frankly, there aren’t many cities in the US that aren’t described as dirty, mean and dangerous these days, or at least large parts thereof.
I watched The Wire and don’t want to know any more about Baltimore then what I learned from it.
I’m pretty sure several of you who posted on here have been or soon will be on To Catch a Predator. Get some help!
I lived in Baltimore in 2004 and people wore kevlar vests as fashion items. Need I say more? The Inner Harbor is alright, but it’s the proverbial blossom growing out of a turd.
Sex?
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