As you can see, esteemed FilmDrunk colleague Sexman has a new video out, entitled Mr. Lion Getting Pwned. I like his work as a filmmaker, but still believe film criticism is his true calling. Oh hell, he’s a double threat!
And just to reiterate, if you don’t like Sexman I will fight you.
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Say what you want about the editing, pace, or even the plot – but I enjoyed this more than all of Brett Ratner’s movies combined.
In the beginning is that Col. Kurtz in the background?
What Simba would have done to Scar if the Disney animators weren’t complete pussies. Gritty, visceral, heartpounding action!
- Harry Knowles – AICN
Anybody who hits shit with a bat to "Fatal" by the RZA can’t be all bad, or at least that’s what I’m telling my probation officer.
Maybe Sexman will make the Atari Trilogy? Get him on the phone!
Wu Tang ClanSexman aint nuthin’ to fuck with!That was some pretty impressive hand-eye coordination he had going on with the sawed-off broom handle at the beginning (bet mom won’t be too happy about that). I was disappointed Mr. Lion didn’t get run over at the end, though. Rather anticlimactic, I thought.
Still, I’m giving it 3 1/2 stars.
Already done Eibz. This news breaking as we speak: New, exciting, avant-gard filmaking provacateur Sexman has recently been in talks to direct 1/3 of the upcoming Filmdrunk blockbuster The Atari Trilogy.
When reached for comment, Bret Ratner said "Anybody seen my stash of blow?"
He’s had a tough life. He had to go from the Sexboy of the house to the Sexman of the house way too young, so he’s got anger issues to work through.
While on the promotional tour for this film, Mr. Lion was quoted as saying, "I gotta tell ya, there isn’t a day goes by that I don’t wish the slobbering girl with cerebral palsy would’ve grunted in my direction. Oh no, she had to blow a snot bubble at that stupid fuckin’ Elmo and I got stuck with Sexman."
*sigh* My parents loved Sexman.
And my parents loved sex, Man.
Ok, now seriously, I love Sexman as much as anyone, but really, who would take the time to film this, let alone post it on Youtube?
We now return you to your regularly scheduled, comma-free, programming.
I emailed a request for an as-built detail to a contractor this morning. My boss is riding my ass about getting this detail done and I still haven’t gotten a response from the contractor. I can’t get him on his cell phone, at his office or by email and I need this fucking detail in order to get my boss offa my ass.
Normally I wouldn’t burden my fellow Drunkards with tales of my work related misery but . . . . .
Did I mention that the contractor is named MIKE?
Now who here’s from Iowa?
noooooooooooooo youtube is blocked i wont be able to see this till later on tonite i got pwned by ISA server
I just read Regency is producing Large Feline Movie, starring Orlando Jones and Carmen Electra.
FUCK MIKE AND HIS DETAIL!
Where the hell is AGB? And dubs? And my wallet? What the fuck is going on around here?
I saw it on T.V. once Pauly. Does that count?
Today is Leonard Nimoy’s birthday! WTF Fek? For you not to recognize that is…….
wait for it…………(consider that a belated birthday gift to you Stone)
illogical.
Yes it does.
You can ram those as-builts up your ass when you get them next week, erswi.
Don’t fuck with the Contractor.
FUCK MIKE!
Creating new online personalities kicks ass.
I’m amazed how many of these words are used here every day.
Filmdrunk = Female friendly
[www.holytaco.com];
No shit, suckme. I just called a woman a cunt-cankled, gash-queef.
She high-fived me.
You would be so fuckin amazed if you only knew how much that looked like Fuckin Contractor Mike!
"I’d rather go naked than pwn a lion" -PETA
Robert Downey Jr. in blackface looks remarkably like a contractor.
I recommend we take all our future insults from that list.
Pauly, you male pattern baldness episiotomy smegma!
Creating new online personalities kicks ass.
Trying to take credit for something you didn’t do, SMB? I smell another fucking architect.
I thought Robert Downey Jr. in blackface looked remarkably like a
pimpthiefcrackheadrapistrapist. Yup, stickin with that one.Fuck Mike!
You non-committal Rambo I-III Super Bowl Outbreak Jolie!
Prove i didn’t Mike.
Pauly- cunt-cankled, gash-queef is my new favorite line. It debuts tonight in a Vegas bar.
I can only IMAGINE the quality ‘tang Sexman’s CAMERAMAN pulls.
Donkey, you bloated mammoth pussy gunt. I bet your muff breakouts squirt discharge all over your fupa. You Non-commital Super Bowl Rambo.
Donkey, you stole my line right outta my head, you skeezer skank. I bet you snort coke right off of toilet tops, you loose feedbag slut.
I think cunt-cankled gash queef is going to be the name of my new fish.
OMG!!! Mr. Lion iz $uch a N00B!
YOU VAGINA MONOLOGUERS SHOULD USE ALL CAPS!!!!
Episiotomy.
I think cunt-cankled gash queef is going to be the name of my new fish.
I was going to use the "good name for a band" joke but it’s been done to death. Now a fish…well that’s fucking gold! I’d feed that fish! Know what i’m say’n? I think you do.
(Durst * ∞) squared, bitches!
damn you smb! stole my durstification
Well he’s trying to steal my IDENTITY. How do you think I feel? You won’t be getting those drawings any time soon, my friend.
It’s my contention you left it laying around. "Stole" is such an ugly word.
Top ten words men really hate:
1. No
2. Menstruate
3. Headache
4. Ballet
5. LeBeouf
6. We
7. Dick-tear
8. Lavender
9. Exfoliate
10. Liberated
Top three words dogs really hate:
1. Bad
2. Cat
3. Vet.
advantage: Dogs.
Two words that I really hate.
Two words i really love
1. Yes
2.Cover
I can has fifty-first comment?
Sorry, I’m really fuckin tired and easily amused at the moment. I’ll try to refrain in the future.
Damnit, when the hell is Chodin gonna show up and
classgay things up around here?I like how he pops out of stuff. It’s a great bit.
One of my methods of getting bitches to want to suck on my pheasantwith wild abandon is to say that, no, I don’t care all that much for sex, man. Then, the inevitable prick wants to challenge me to a fight, thinking I’m like Uwe Boll and won’t make it happen, and I hit em with a lightning fast Crane Kick to the shins, and he inevitably cries. Commense dick sucking competition.
Four words I hate:
1.Stop!
2.No!
3.Don’t!
4.HELP!
I’m also not much for
1.police
2.father
3. lawyer
4. contagious
Pauly, why would you hate those words? Almost every chick I’ve ever banged was into the whole ‘rape fantasy’ thing. Those girls will take it far too. Scratching, hitting, one girl even brought it to actual trial! I guess she felt that it’d gone far enough and didn’t show up for the trial. Probably was playing with herself in the courthouse bathroom knowing her. She was a slut.
I’ve also never liked
1. Stop
2. Peeing
3. On
4. The
5. Couch
6. And
7. Let’s
8. Get
9. To
4. The
10. Funeral
*sigh* Jack’s parents loved that couch…
If I’m gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is "poontang".
Sorry nom, can’t relate. my "rape fantasy" consists of duct tape and a dirty sock, or silence.
Ya know, fucking Lanky Mangina sure says a lot of shit about fighting people. I say he ponies up! Next time I’m out east, it’s on pretty boy! We will meet in a neutral location between New Hampshire and New York City and fucking throw down Kimbo Slice style in a parking lot somewhere. BRING YOUR CAMERA! Win, lsoe, or draw, my performance will be legendary!!!
Well, no hitting in the face, though…
See, I can’t even spell lsoe right because I never do.
I do. A lot.
College loans never paid off :(
<————–Home school Drop-out
SKOOLS FOR FOOLS!
Don’t get me wrong, I think Mr. Lion Getting Pwned is one of the finest films of our generation, but it pales in comparison to some of Sexman’s earlier work, such as Condemned: The Tragedy of Mr. Lion.
Anybody catch what happened over there in the Sambora thread? Apparently Chodin got into it with some Durdenites and got banned, That shit doesn’t carry over, does it?
I was just reading that. They kept copying and pasting what he wrote, though, so we can still enjoy.
COWABUNGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Chodin slams the fucking phone reciever against Doctress Leisa’s face and breaks her front teeth*
Goddammit, it’s good to be back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phew! I thought we were going to have to start scouring Craigslist ads to piece together where they buried your body.
*Pauly starts putting dirt back in shallow grave*
Oh, hey. Sup Chodseph?
Donkey, sometimes you just have to slap somebody elses kid and be like, “THERE! That’s for being dressed like a fucking idiot!” – even though you know that their parents are the ones who picked out their clothes.
I don’t even know what that means, but anywho: fuck em’ over there…I’ve got more names and plenty more games.
I know what you mean, man. I’ve started handing out business cards at restaurants that read "too much of a pussy to beat your kids? Let me do it for you!" to people who do things like ask their three year old to please be quiet, instead of smacking the quiet back into them.
Funny thing is, that’s his baby sister in a Halloween costume.
Sorry…on topic, my bad.
Last night I got tired of looking at gay porn (impossible, right) and so I googled “Chodin: FIlmdrunk” and a bunch of links came up to WWTDD and all this shit that they’ve been saying for the past several weeks. Haha, it was fucking great! I haven’t even been “over there” in weeks and they were still talking shit.
Glad they know how to play hardball once the opponents show up.
You can tell the people who didn’t get hit as a child and people who did. It was usually the kids that did get hit, hitting the kids who didn’t.
I’m one of those kids who got hit.
Those pussies fart loud, but kiss tender.
Small kids are like serial killers. They can’t be reasoned with; they can’t be bought off. The only way to make them understand when they get way too out of line is to show that you’re big and strong enough to suplex their asses. Dangerous wrestling moves are how children learn the difference between right and wrong.
Chod, you apparently pwned "over yonder" but all your comments are gone. Here’s your gold star.
Dangerous wrestling moves?
Those are the only kind I do.
suplexpower bombwhen my neighbor’s kids really get out of hand, I just clear some of the car parts out of the front yard and we have a good ol’ fashioned ladder-match.
Does Doctress seriously get paid for that shit? So it’s okay to delete comments that annoy you but not safe for work avatars are just fine? The NSFW avatars are why that domain almost never gets on the Fark mainpage, whereas Chodin just makes shit more lively (and sometimes cybers with dudes, not that there’s anything wrong with that).
I wish someone had brought that to my attention earlier, I’m going through their comments now and it’s not making much sense. I’m pretty sure the Doctress is on the rag though (I’m a chick so I can say that without being offensive. Wait, why am I worried about being offensive?)
I’m on the rag all the time, and I’m not even Arabian.
Lion never had a chance… *shakes head in disapproval*
boosh
Hey Jaime, we’ve reached the point where the actual topic is no longer the topic.
It’s a little place we like to call "the rest of time after the first five minutes following a post" around here.
BTW, is it pronounced Tangental or Tangenital?
Tangentialism
Tangentialismtion
Being off-topic is the topic. So she’s just off-topic.
Damn, I’ve been saying it wrong. No wonder they all give me funny looks around the academic cirlces. I guess me and my well-meaning yet wacky friends will just have to accept that those people will never accept us into their fraternity.
I’ll get the hang of this eventually.
cirlces, of course, is the name of the Egyptian Fraternity we’re trying to get into…
Donkey, just chug a can of beer. That will gain back their respect.
*opens up can of beer that was shaken, spraying PBR all over the fraternity president’s shirt and his visiting parents, who are the biggest contributors to the frat’s charity fund*
:(
Now you have to grunt and bang on your chest, like you have just done something great and manly.
Or you could pull your dick out and do the helicopter.
HELICOPTER! HELICOPTER! HELI-COPTER!
*begins banging chest, getting into it more and more as it goes along. accidentally backhands frat president’s girlfriend, breaking her nose the day before she has a modeling shoot*
C’mon Noodles, lets go hit up the buffet before they throw us out.
Shoulda pull your dick out.
Now she’ll NEVER be a teen model!
*Jan cracks an evil smile
*Pauly is hanging upside down to grow*
I heard the pump works better Pauly.
Like a bike pump?
*in last-ditch effort to gain the approval of the guys at their oceanside bash, puts on waterskis and hits a ramp at breakneck speeds. A great white breaks the top of the waves, mouth agape, just barely falling short of the bottoms of the skis. Lands safely and pulls up to shore*
Eeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyyy Fuck you guys!
No…like a yomomma pump. OH! ….I got nothing.
What ever happened to the buffet!? Damn..don’t tease a chubby chick dawg. >.>
You’ll earn 60% of a BOOSH for that Jaime…. unfortunately, that equates out to a BOO.
<pokes head in room>
Fagarific!
If you go to the Latest comments you can see chods remarks. Banning just kicks them off the thread page. Later homos, toss a few for me.
<bows…leaves>
Check his fucking pockets before he leaves!
My lighter’s missing. See I fuckin’ knew it………
Chod-alls I can say is that I hope you went out in a blaze of glory
hole.*pouts* I’m done for the night.
*pulls out* me too
Poor Lion
Fek, you cunt-cankled gash-queef, where you been?
Fuckin’ Rambo-twat taint-perm squirt…
Ya’ beaver-leakage bukkake-slut panty-stirrup.
Ya’ cottage-cheese eatin’ HPV fisting-cunt.
Have you ever seen collegehumor’s insult generator? Somebody should reprogam it with that list of words.
You wrinkles-jammed panties clitorectomy pubes.
you flaccid, feedbags-leakage skeezer-flow
Whoa, whoa, Donkey. We’re all friends here. No need to go below the belt.
*Pauly looks over Donkey’s shoulder*
Is that…..is that a fucking cop?
*Pauly takes off running*
*Donkey’s debate as to whether it would be funny to say ‘Don’t taze me, bro" is cut short by a baton to the nuts and pepper spray to the face*
Don’t Thhggrrrrrrph ma AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
*You turn around to see that it’s Jaime* Who’s booing now!? *kick, spray, kick*
Aaaaaaaaaand, welcome to the group, Jaime!
Dor sho gha! The Mighty Fek’lhr would tell you where He has been, but He would have to kill you you forshak kotal yIntagh HaDiBah!
*bows deeply* Happy to be here.
Were you working, Fek?
is ‘working’ slang for giving handjobs behind the Taco Bell for Chalupas?
I WAS FUCKING GETTING DRUNK, WATCHING UFC, AND EATING FROZEN BURRITOS!
ALL. TRUE.
You may worship Him now, turd burglars.
Is Turdburglar like Hamburglar with a Dirty Sanchez from Grimace?
You’d have won more points there Fek had you put a comma between ‘FUCKING’ AND ‘GETTING’
I did follow it up with a McDonalds joke, though. Besides, you guys know you have to take it easy on me about getting laid…I’m married. :(
UFC’s on? I’m DUI’n as we speak.
Spike TV Pauly…every Wed night!
FDUI-Filmdrunking Under the Influence
Good point, BTW, I know the person who ‘plays’ the Hamburglar in this area. She’s the 13-year old daughter of a guy I work with. Next time I see her, I’ll make sure to ask.
The Mighty Fek’lhr LITERALLY eats FROZEN burritos.
What do you mean, "the person who ‘plays’ the Hamburglar"? Everyone knows there is only one Hamburglar! Dor sho gha!
I’m almost home. I just ran a light.
The Pedestrian Luchador eats tofurkey corndogs. BOOSH!
Pauly, if you are DUIing AND Filmdrunking…that is pretty gangsta! All you need is some burritos, and you are set.
Well Fek, the real Hamburlar is very busy this time of year, so he sends people out dressed like him to say hello to all of the little kids he’s preparing to visit. That’s what I meant.
I Meant Hamburglar. the Hamburlar is a Russian Hobo downtown who’s always screaming about how the Bear punched his wife to death.
The Pedestrian Luchador eats tofurkey corndogs. BOOSH!
Thanks! *slaps wife
Get me some fucking TOFURKEY!!
I DON’T GIVE A DEAD MOOSE’S LAST SHIT ABOUT TOFURKEY!
No frozen burrito. Ramen soup?
I’M NOT HEARING THIS PAULY!
(Is it burrito flavored ramen soup? Made in Mexico?)
I rather hook up a car battery to my nipples and be forced to masterbate to the sound of crying babies, then have ANYTHING to do with TOFURKEY. DOT
I got frozen taquitos. Will that suffice?
Jaime, if you want to hang with us, you have to spell masturbate correctly.
TAQUITOS! HOLY FUCKING FORSHAK! Will you be my life partner?
*accepts punishment*
I WILL spell masturbate correctly.
I WILL spell masturbate correctly.
I WILL spell masturbate correctly.
I WILL spell masturbate correctly.
I WILL spell masturbate correctly.
Ramen-flavored Taquitos?
Masturbate, shmasturbate.
*Exhales bong hit*
Frozen ramen-flavored taquito burritos.
You’re making me
hornyhungry*hands donkey a fifi*
*Takes a big bite out of fifi*
Mmmmm.. Petroleum, my favorite kind of jelly.
It must be jelly cause jam don’t shake like that
I pefer jell-o.
This is the true SEX. It is the most epic trailer I have everseen.
[www.youtube.com];
I taught him everthing he knows. They grow up so fast. *tear*
FIIIIIIFIIIIIIII!!!!!!FIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIIFIFIFIFIFIIFIFIFIFIIFIFIFIFIFIIFIFIFI…spurkle
Yawn
G’nite
I title this
Office Space 1/2: The Uncontrolled Rage of Michael Bolton
uh…. yeah… that’s not disturbing… at all…. how old is this kid again?
wow…
This must be the theatrical trailer for Calvin and Hobbes the movie.