A few months back, I told you about Brad Pitt and Ed Norton dropping out of State of Play over script issues, and being subsequently replaced by Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck.
These are the first shots from the movie. I’m not sure what it’s about, but if I had to guess, I’d say fish and chips.
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RUSSEL BLOW IN THE STATE OF GA.. you get it.
Hey, look! It’s Meat Loaf!
Russel Crowe in "JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS". The UnTold Story
Man, I’d hate to see his reaction to a phone telling him that his fingers are too fat to dial a number and that he needs to obtain a ‘dialing wand.’
I think he ate Norton and Pitt.
Really.
Russell Crowe has apparently been studying at the Academy of Concerned Kitten for his role in this film.
Why is Kevin Smith trying to look all "Columbine" in these pics? What a total kotal!
I think he looks cute, he’s rocking the nana sweater with the hot rugby hooligan glare…
He can knock me out with a phone anytime he wants to.
Or perhaps he studied under the late Perturbed Hippopotamus ([www.olsvik.info]).
Frasier Crane: The Movie
Scott Stapp looks like shit.
That’s my homey B-Rizzle’s tag in the background in pic 2. it’s the old Burger King motto "Aren’t You Hungry?".
Has he put too many shrimps on the barbie?
He doesnt need a dialing wand, he needs a "sex club"
"Stuttering" John Melendez got a new coat, huh?
If he’s going for that "middle aged, english-lit professor" look, I’d say he’s got it down.
Maximus Fattassimus
Sex club, Eib? The Mighty Fek’lhr has a "Sex Tessto"!
Don’t remember what a tessto is, gang? It’s ok, The Mighty One has you covered. It is the large, spiked club Feklahr (not of Klingon) wields!
[img363.imageshack.us]
Lance’s thumb added for size comparison.
What I am arriving at is that my dick is so big that a giant can use it to brain elves and frog-people.
Unfortunately, "Put a shrimp in the barbie" was my ex-girlfriend Barbara’s euphamism for us having sex.
Wow, he looks like 20 odd foot of grunts to me.
Oh, the sacrifices they make for their craft.
Oh, the sacrifices they make for their
craft.Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.I imagine the three pictures is a storyboard for the movie:
Russell Crowe crosses the street. A driver slams her brakes to avoid severely damaging her car by hitting Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe stops to catch his breath after the long and strenuous task of crossing a street.
Maybe he’s carrying a baby kangaroo in his pouch.
Starting to look like a Foster’s can.
I didn’t realize that "grunts" is Aussie slang for "party sub."
Maybe he ate a dingo’s baby.
Ate Dingo’s baby? Why, as part of Rosemary’s revenge?
Unrelated but extremely irksome:
Only the brainless fucktards at Subway could fuck up what *should* have been a perfectly good sandwich. I can’t even eat this crap, and I’m starving. Does anyone have any lunch they can share?
Al- just got back from Subway where a life sized cut out of Jerod stared me down ’til i through out half of my sub. Fuck that place.
Sorry Al, but I traded my pudding for Fek’s animal crackers and recreated the part from Noah’s Ark about how a giant monster came along and bit the heads off all the animals.
I got Subway today as well.
True Story: I was in line at Subway like a month ago, and their was an early 30′s couple in front of me. The Sandwich Artist working asked the women what size she wanted her sandwich, foot long or six inch. And she said to the guy "How big is a foot?". He says "You don’t know how long a foot is?" and she says "Yeah, but is it my foot or your foot?".
I laughed out loud hysterically.
I have some Italian sausage.
Wait, no. Well, yea.
I think he’s renaming his band "50 Odd Foot of Bundts."
They’re cakes.
Aw, fuck you too, then.
Speaking of Jared, where the fuck is my star studded commercial telling me "Congratulations JHC for not becoming a fat fuck in the first place!"?
"My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, Commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my dessert, in this life or the next.….but preferably, this life. In fact, are you going to eat that?"
The real Jared was in my Subway the other day. It was the first time I used the term BTK among my real flesh and blood friends.
JHC, that commercial runs on the LOGO channel all the time.
This is what I get for not drinking my lunch.
Luch, I’ll take you up on that sausage. Or… yes, I will.
Pauly, I swear I kept waiting for you to say the husband whispers in her hear, "my dick is 6 inches" and she says, "I’ll take two foot longs".
her hear is what all the kids call her "ear" these days.
shitonashingle
The it just wouldn’t be a true story if I did, JHC. Stupid people make me laugh and get me fustrated.
I made a TV out of LEGOs too!
Stupid people make me laugh and get me fustrated.
Well then, I guess I’m glad I can help with both.
Lego my Eggo, you fuckin’ Dago!
No one has a problem with the fact that Jared isn’t in good shape? He’s not cartoonish fat anymore but so fucking what? He’s as middle of the road shape-wise as you can get.
A friend of mine placed an order with a coworker who was going to Subway for a footlong meatball with “the usual stuff.” A while later he was handed his meatball sub… complete with lettuce, tomato, peppers, olives, onion, and, of course, pickles. He told me it looked like Dom Delouise threw up on a whole wheat roll.
I asked for a meatball sub with the "usual stuff" once and was handed a meatball sub with the semen of twelve black men. Weird.
The only place I can go and order "the usual" is the free VD clinic.
Not all 12 were black Heather.
The short curly hairs were not from their heads then?
Byron from my Subway story once literally said to me and a group of friends, "I heard that 4 inches is average for penis length…right?"
I wish I would have thought of it at the time, I would have replied, "I guess that makes me 1.75 times better than average!"
Yeah, it’s seven fucking inches. SORRY
GUYSGIRLS! Not all Klingons are hung likeGedde WatanabeJohn Holmes, you know!It would have been even better Fek knowing that somebody was mentally calculating your penis size right in front of you.
I shall be leaving to receive shock treatments, to erase the thought of Klingon penis from my brain.
Catch you guys later.
empty frontal lobe :(
Wow, I just called my friend a "dick cling-on" the other day and now we’re talking about Klingon dick.
My life has come full circle.
I shall be leaving to receive
shockchocolate treatments, to erase thethoughttaste of Klingon penis from mybrainmouth.Fek’xed!
[dirtyhairy.blogspot.com]
Have fun!
Nice Fek. I really like how at the very end, they put their little "*may cause seizures" disclaimer in there. Mostly cuz it’s true.
Wow, he’s fat!
I thought he was in Gladiator, not Glad He Ate Her.
I thought that was a porno, Jack!
Perhaps, but it can be taken in a more literal context now that he’s a fatass.
Now that I think about it, Assimus Maximus, could work that way too.
I always thought the Glad he ate her thing was a cunnilingus reference.
Well now I know.
Great avataur by the way Jack!
Is that the guy from Double Dragon?
It’s funny how you can tell certain people’s posts from the recent comments page. Jack!, Fek, chodin.
Kudos on the Deadpool avi Jack!.
Damn, Pauly beat me to it!
Deadpool, the merc with a mouth.
Well that’s pretty easy, JHC. Chodin always has an entrance or he’s always *doing something*. Fek, always refers to Himself as….well Himself. And Jacktion! always has something punny to say.
The Mighty Fek’lhr believes that JHC will not be able to figure out who posted this comment from looking at the recent comments page.
The Mighty Fek’lhr isn’t sure how it is that easy to tell…maybe you have to be a cocksucking yIntagh to understand.
Lance?
WRONG! DO IT AGAIN!
I don’t always make puns, Pauly. I’m just better at it than most people.
Jack!’s a ladies favorite, a master of punnilingus.
I know Jack!, but it’s your claim to fame.
WRONG! DO IT AGAIN!
I think of that Steely Dan song everytime you do that.
"WRONG! BONG! DO IT AGAIN!"
AND WHEN THE POWER OF THE WARRIORS DESCENDS FROM THE HEAVENS, THE STREETS WILL CLEAR AND THERE WILL STAND THE WARRIOR FIGHTING THE DEMONS AND DESTROYING THE MONSTERS WHO BLOCK HIS DESTINY!!!!!!
AT MY FEET WILL LIE THE DEVESTATION OF (snarl) HULK…..HOGAN………………….. AND THE WWF TITLE!!!!
FOR WHEN THE WARRIORS BLOOD COARSES THROUGH MY VEINS, NOT EVEN ALL OF HANNIBALS ELEPHANTS CAN STOP THE FURY THAT IS THE WARRIOR!!!!!
(snarl)
hey guys, work’s almost over. yay!
Luch-that was inspired. Dumb, but inspired.
Thanks Fek. Means a lot.
If they ever do a remake of Silence of the Lambs, I hope Daniel Radcliffe is Buffalo Bill…you know, just to upset children.
I had the same hope for Seabiscuit.
Fek, I just did s spit/piss/shit take all over my workstation!
NON SEQUITURS 4 LIFE!!
I thought Toby McGuire was Seabiscuit.
No, Seabiscuit was the horse. I want to see Tobey McGuire ride Daniel Radcliffe to upset children.
Let’s just call the movie "The Donkey Show"
So, you’ll be at the premier then, right?
Who else is going to cut the red ribbon?
Oh, i didn’t really watch it.
Donkey Show? I’ll be there
Is "cutting the red ribbon" a euphemism for cock stabbing a chick through a bloody maxi pad?
If so, <raises hand and starts jumping up and down> I’ll do it! Me! ME!
Ha, the donkeys come here to see the Luchador show.
"cutting the red ribbon" a euphemism for cock stabbing a chick through a bloody maxi pad?
No, it’s Russel Crowe stabbing one of them porky fingers through a bloody maxi pad!
No. Cock stabbing a chick through a bloody maxi pad is called "Tiptoeing through the tulips".
We should call him Russel GROW! BOOSH!! HAHAHA!! LOL!!
Rated ‘R’ for gratuitous masturbation and man-crying.
I always called that "Making a hilt for your victorious man-sword"
wow, 2 hrs later, still with the fat Crow. Pretty soon he will be hanging out with Fred Durst, talking about the good old days
Fohr’skin! The day I’ve had.
New post – and it involves Wicker Man.