‘MEET BILL’ TRAILER
03.03.08This is the trailer for Meet Bill, which played the Toronto Film Festival and will be out in April or May, depending on where you live.
It stars Aaron Eckhart, Elizabeth Banks, and Jessica Alba, and it’s about a schlubby loser who tries to win back his cheating wife with the help of the teenager he’s mentoring. The guy who directed it was a producer on that Mathew McConnaghey/Kate Hudson treasure movie.
Uh, can we stop putting Jessica Alba in movies now? I mean, I get it, she’s pretty – but all these good girl roles? Give me a break, she’s not intelligent enough to pretend to care about other people. The only thing I see her playing believably is a Hooters waitress who’s constantly in trouble because her idea of flirting is telling the customers hour-long stories about her cats.
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FIST OF FURY
Did anyone else notice his business partner is the guy from High Fidelity?
*Richard Kiel busts through the wall!*
Dammit, Miggs!
*starts chanting at Miggs until he swallows his own tongue and dies*
*Miggs dies, that is…not Richard Kiel…in case anyone was wondering*
I already have Meat Bill. It’s a touching coming of age homo porn flick. I think this remake is waaaaayyy off target.
GONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah so! Weesa dulsty dees tread rear good!
Egads! I fell for Miggs’ shtick again and got blasted by his splickity spack attack. I knew you weren’t really bleeding you silly fuckwadder!
I will not watch another Jessica Alba film unless she gets buck nekkid, or doesn’t say a fuckin’ word. With all the tNa that was floating around on Sin City, she could’ve at least let me see her ass. Bitch.
GRRR…….Carla Gugino’s smokin’ hot body!!!!
FUCK BILL!
"I will not watch another Jessica Alba film unless she gets buck nekkid, or doesn’t say a fuckin’ word. With all the tNa that was floating around on Sin City, she could’ve at least let me see her ass. Bitch."
Amen, Jesus. Amen.
The A³ Production Team has relegated Alba to an ‘Erotic Relief’ role. This part will be non-speaking, and mainly involve schoolgirl/cheerleader outfits.
I for one am tired of Aaron Eckhart getting all up in my face in the mens room. Yeah, I’m a chick, I just enjoy peeing standing up. Get out of my face.
Is this the live action version of Mr. Bill?who’s playing Sluggo and Mr. Hand?
There seems to be a spate of romcoms at the moment that aren’t even trying to be funny. Who exactly is this movie aimed at?
Fucker. That’s supposed to be code for superscript 3… Working on it…
³
I would pay a tiny sum of money to watch Richard Keil anally gape Jessica Alba and then punch fuck Dane Cook with one of his giant bear hands.
I still have no idea what the hell that movie’s about. That broad who played Bill’s cheating wife was the same kinky cunt from 40 Year Old Virgin
Why would you want to get back with your cheating, slut, whore of a wife? Had that been me I would have said "Oh don’t worry, Honey. I’ll be okay, just give me a hug" then when she close enough, BAM! Knee to the pussy.
I’m pretty sure it’s about the Japanese occupation or surfing… or maybe Fraggles. I can’t really tell either.
Ugh, I just know my
wifecrushing loneliness is going to make me go see this, If for no other reason than tosubtly hint that she’s cheating on mecry in public and try to get a sympathy screw from a woman who desperately wants life to be a romcom.Hey JHC, I just wikipedia’d it. Kodo dies in a fiery pit, but Podo survives and has baby ferrets. I AM VALIDATED!
Alright, I can’t listen to the trailer (the company I work for has a "no computer speakers policy. Communists). So judging by what I’m seeing, it’s Fracture/Charlie Bartlett/Candy, only not nearly as funny, seeing as how he doesn’t shoot the cheating whore in the first place. Of course, then the movie would only be 10 minutes long(which is a blessing, at least if the trailer is any indication). 15 minutes if his aim is off.
"Why would you want to get back with your cheating, slut, whore of a wife?"
Same thing I thought. I don’t think any amount of mouthwash will get rid of the fact that she probably came home after sucking off the weather man and gave her husband and kiss with full on dick lips. I would probably have to push her head first into a fire. That’s just me though.
Replace the teenager with R. Lee Ermey to help him man the fuck up. Then maybe, juuuuuuuust maybe I’ll watch this hunk of shit.
Really? But it’s Timothy Olyphant, don’t we get a pass for making sweet sweet mouth love to him. Awww c’mon. Ow stop hitting me.
Replace the
teenagerwife with R. Lee Ermey to help him man the fuck up. Then maybe, juuuuuuuust maybe I’ll watch this hunkof shit.Fixed!
Podo was a girl ferret? Why, today is just choc full of surprises.
Not to get off topic, but this is something that every woman (except for Eib, maybe;) ought to read.
http://collegecallgirl.blogspot.com/2007/11/blowjob-tutorial.html
Ah ha!
The A³ Production Team has relegated Alba to an ‘Erotic Relief’ role. This part will be non-speaking, and mainly involve schoolgirl/cheerleader outfits.
Good work B.S. I thought I remembered one ferret sticking it’s head out of his leather Dolce and Gabbana fanny pack, making the viewer believe that the other one did perish, only to have the other poke it’s furry little face out, thereby giving the watcher a warm fuzzy. Oh well. It’s not the first time I’ve been wrong about the whereabouts of a rodent.
GRRR…..PVC tubing!!!!!
"Why would you want to get back with your cheating, slut, whore of a wife?"
Since its a rom com, he will realize he doesnt need her, and be happy on his own/with someone else. Formula.
A warm fuzzy JHC? Have you been in my hard drive?
Sure he was in Deadwood but he was also in the travesty called Hitman and then followed that up with an impressively limp wristed performance as John McClane’s wife in Die Hard. Any chick who gets soppy for him deserved to marry Ike Turner.
Am I the only one who thinks Jessica Alba is hotter as a pregnant chick? Light some candles, put on a little Peter Cetera, make sure she’s in the third trimester and we’ve got some romance in the making, friends.
*Timothy Olyphant. Forgot to include the quote.
But, I do agree with Michelle, women get a Timothy Olyphant pass. Its in the bylaws
*Chodin hops off the chairlift- skis in front, poles to his side: textbook form*
Hey gays! Sorry, got stuck at the bottom of the slope. What’d I miss?
I prefer not to remember those movies. I stick to GO and Deadwood thank you very much.
Sure he was in Deadwood but he was also in the travesty called Hitman and then followed that up with an impressively limp wristed performance as John McClane’s wife in Die Hard. Any chick who gets soppy for him deserved to marry Ike Turner.
Come on, you still spank to Alba, and her transgressions are too numerous to list.
Michelle, I forgot how hot he was as the very hot drug dealer in Go. I will fight every one of you for him. And, based on my av, I win by default.
"Hey Bill, how does my dick taste?"
GONG!!!! What about His avatar, Al?
No more yanky my wanky, the donger need food!
Jessica Alba: Meat Dick.
Timmyphant was by far the weakest link on the Deadwood cast. I oft wondered if his single dimensional acting was intentional or perchance intended as say, a counter to Ian McShane’s awe inspiring portrayal of Swearengen.
After seein him in other roles, I realize that he could act his way out of a sack of shit.
Your av entitles you to Molly Ringwald, Fek.
Sounds like we have a spicey little rom com on our own hands ladies! Mwowr…let the hilarity ensue!
Is Lance on vacation?
Wait a sec there Craptacular – he COULD act his way out of a scak of shit. Ala The Girl Next Door?!?
"Come on, you still spank to Alba, and her transgressions are too numerous to list."
Hard as it may be(not a pun) to accept. Not every guy thinks she’s the holy grail of vagina.
Morry Lingward? No, He wants
Michael Schoeffling
A Holy Grail of vagina would just be gross.
Jesus was the son of a carpenter!
There’d be slivers and all sorts of yuck.
Yeah, she’s pretty vacant.
Jessica Biiel = Holy Grail of Vagina
Ok, not you in particular, but I hear a lot of talk about her naked. Besides, I dont want to talk to him anyway, he just looks cute.
Thanks CB, now I have the Sex Pistols in my head.
"There’d be slivers and all sorts of yuck."
Like that’s not true anyway.
My fucking pleasure, Eibmoz.
Hard as it may be(not a pun) to accept. Not every guy thinks she’s the holy grail of vagina.
That be like putting my dick where Jesus’ mouth was.
Cool!
If that girl from Teeth got gold teeth for her pussy, she’d be the Holy Grill of Vagina.
Well fuck David Milch anyways!! That stupid fucker bailed on the <Midget kicks self in forehead several times> best fucking TV show EVER!!!
Lisa Rinna = Holy Grail of vagina (2000 years old)
It could just be me, but then again I have a mommy fetish. Or is it mummy? I don’t know I failed psycology.
Is the high school mentee the same kid that played Christian Bale’s son in 3:10 to Yuma? If so, that leads me to reasonably expect that the movie ends with Aaron Eckhart getting shot…a lot. Or, that could just be wishful thinking. Either way, romcoms need more people dying in a hail of bullets.
I’m sorry, Tim Olyphant is a giant sack of shit. I had to sit through Catch and Release this weekend, and if I had a dollar for every time he substituted "long mysterious unblinking stare at the other person in the scene" for "speak a few words and display something resembling a human emotion," I’d have enough cash to have him professionally killed.
I’d nominate that Jack but you would just lose.
I am so sorry you had to watch that Stinky. Did you make sure to get some meds for the migraine it induced with its awfulness?
Crap – Why? Too intelligent?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/schro/234578788/
You all can thank me later.
(Be sure to read the {both} comments)
She ah dah church maddying gleesee bohonk.
http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/klingon-hello-kitty.htm
For Fek
Yeah, it was the altitude of it’s high brow that killed it.
Eib, link no wolky?
He looks more like the fat Pharoah from the sixties Batman series, Fek, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
I often watch really bad movies, trying to figure out what went wrong. That was just, wow.
and spelling
http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/klingon-hello-kitty.html
http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/klingon-hello-kitty.html
JINX!
Did someone say Lisa Rinna? The last time I saw her, she was orally inflating the GoodYear Blimp.
Jinx!
Did someone say Lisa Rinna? The last time I saw her, she was orally inflating the GoodYear Blimp.
Don’t call me that. My mother called me that once…. once!
Calm down, Francis
Aw, that was so cute you guys, jinxing like that… er… worrrrrk… bwahhhhhhhh <assorted cone vomit sounds>
Ug, that was a $10 lunch. Fuck.
Hey Stone, how’s the *new* SKI TEAM jacket fitting you?
and what in the name of Greek buggery is this supposed to be?
http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/Img_1815.html
BTW, He totally won that JINX, Eib. I think that makes you my slave for life.
Woukdn’t that make her HIS slave for life, not YOURS?
Have no idea, thats why that link is so awesome.
Charlie, I don’t know what that thing is, but I want to fuck it.
Channels Butthead “Hey, baby.” http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/25startrek.html
Jack, don’t make Him backyard wrestle you!
GRRR…PRE-DETERMINED OUTCOMES!
That man has underboobs!
Oh crap, i am His slave for life? i shudder to think what He will ask for.
Holy shit, my eyes…
OK, I know I act like a fucking dork here. I put on the pretense of being this computer nerd knowledgeable Trekkie Klingon Speaking Basement Dweller…but I have to be honest. Even I draw the line somewhere, and this fucking Durst Retard Fest depicted in that link is just WAY beyond fucking batshit crazy.
If they aren’t doing hard drug and having group sex in those costumes, I ain’t interested.
Just as a nerdy aside: Why would someone dress as Janeway? The first female captain and she gets lost? Nigga please
i shudder to think what He will ask for.
Well, my party does need a cleric for our campaign this weekend!
http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/30startrek.html
This guy needs to lay off the Gah.
Is Lance trapped under a box or something?
Oooh! I have a level 19 cleric!
You know those times on filmdrunk where you just have no fucking clue what the fuck is fucing going the fuck on?
I’m fucking having one of those fucking moments, right the fuck now.
I like doing hard drugs whilst wearing my gandlaf costume. Then I go and invade my ‘partners’ mordor castle. We have a grand old time. -Aaron Eckhar
choders, i too, am having such, a time as we, speak. maybe, you and i, can just hold, each other, tightly. [ed. note: to be read in a shatner mode.]
Have you ever had one of those moments when you can’t move your right arm, and all you smell is almonds?
jack! dont try to get in on my action.
Jack-Did you take the Sun domain? We are expecting a Lich.
A stroke? no Jack, thanks though
Dub…you’re my fucking nukka.
Whatev, slave! You just got demoted to pack-mule/bard!
Have you ever had one of those moments where your boner is popping out of the pee slit in your boxers when you go to tell your Mom "Good Morning"?
That’s why I wear boxer briefs now.
dammit.
Have you ever had one of those moments where your boner is popping out of the pee slit in your boxers when you go to tell your Mom "Good Morning"?
Yup. My mom looked down & said "I guess it IS a good morning".
Fuckin’ creepy…
have you ever had one of those moments that after killing the tranny that just sodomized you, you were like ‘woah, i think i’m gay’ then all of a sudden the tranny hooker coughs a little blood for you to react in the most violent of ways. then after you’ve surely beat the last gasp of air out of it you sit down and address your stunned family and tell them ‘no, i’m not fucking gay, it’s dead.’ only to be carried away by S.W.A.T. twenty minutes later? i bet all of you have.
UBFB: Your mom totally wanted to blow you. Seriously.
Well, not recently Dub.
Id like to jab ‘er, heheh
http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/IMG_1839.html
going to stop looking at these now, i’m in pain from laughing here.
SING, DAMN YOU, SING!
Fun fact: The actor (Andrew Robinson) that played the Scorpio Killer in Dirty Harry also plays Deep Space Nine‘s Garak!
wwbd:
I know. That’s why it was fuckin’ creepy.
Healing/Transportation, Fek.
He was also the Dad in Hellraiser. Jesus wept.
There’s nothing wrong with a Star Trek convention…
…that a Ryder truck full of fertilizer couldn’t fix.
back to glass, lads. ill be on after i quickly masturbate under my desk to this foreign girl that sits two seats behind me and one row to the right.
[] [] ________
[x] [] | _____________8===D~~~~
[] [] |
[] [x] _______|
SP-I just happen to have a couple of Ryder trucks on lease, you got any fertilizer?
Holy shit! I think she stores the Invisi-Jet in her snootch!!
http://www.generalgeneral.com/ezine/convergence2006/IMG_1774.html
I think you can use dvd copies of Jessica Alba movies as fertilizer, Fek
I think you can use dvd copies of Jessica Alba movies as fertilizer
Hmm…do you know anyone that has any Alba movies? Me neither. :(
I have Dark City and Idle Hands
I love Dark City
Sin City, rather.
I also have Dark City, though.
class will now be referred to as ‘glass’
i just realized i had a presentation due today. will the ‘glass’ be enjoying my silky smooth voice that swoons the ladies and
confused young boysthe mistresses? no.::dubs tears up as he sees his once perfect gpa plummet this semester::
Fact: I once knew these guys (they worked with me at Hardee’s) that used LARPing as a cover for their homo activities. I guess every time they got together the same Ogre Mage would cast "Insatiable Thirst" and "Power Word:Urinate" and they always failed their saving throws.
JHC: We’re gonna need a bigger camel.
You guys ever had that feeling that you’ve been missing out on the good blogging all fucking day because you’ve actually had to work, and your boss is breathing down your neck with the threat of being Vegas Hustla’d any damn day now and you’re not sure how you’re gonna make rent if that happens? Ever had that happen to you? Thank Christ, me neither. What the fuck did I miss whilst I was gone?
erswi-Eib is His slave for life now! We are going to play D&D with Jack!
*Party finds "Amulet of Durst +3"!*
Can you imagine the size of the camel that goes with that toe Stinky?!?!
What the hell man? I’m outta comission for like 1/2 a day and Eib goes and switches sides on me? Sonofabitch!
JHC: No, but I bet Michael Bay can.
Well it just figures I had to go drink my lunch when we were talking about Deadwood, but let me re-visit that for a moment since we’re still here:
Holy CRAP, Crap - I wondered the exact same thing myself every other episode. Is Olyphant that bland and emotionless on purpose? I thought he was mis-cast – his role shoulda been switched with the guy that played Sol.
You may now return to your regularly-scheduled, already-in-progress chit-chat.
why is everyone so fat in the future? and why are mighty klingon warriors not drinking the blood of their victims from chalices of metal and bone, but instead drinking kool-aid from a plastic cup? i think he ate the enterprise.
why is it so fucking dead in here?
*Chodin pops up from behind couch*
SURPRISE!!!!!!
I have to actually work today. It’s like people wreck their cars only on the weekends.
::dub sneezes a bit and suddenly his heart stops::
thanks chode, you fuckn killed me.
I need a drink, and a line, and a blunt, and a lap dance.
You’re not a mechanic, are ya Pauly? Because I think my fanbelt is making funny noises.
I could even offer up the lapdance in exchange for your services.
You’re not a surgeon, are you Pauly?
*Pauly sits on computer in operating room*
Nurse: “Doctor, this man is dying!”
Pauly: “Shut up cunt, I’m about to get a nomination for this shit!”
Nope not a mechanic. I’m a manager/estimator/insurance adjuster for a body shop.
If it’s your fan belt it’s either loose, worn, or needs to be greased.
That made me LOL out loud, Chod.
*Pauly makes humping thrusts while winking*
I’ll grease ya fan belt, baby.
I don’t think I can get drunk and high at work if I was a surgeon. or else it would like the show House. Except a little more AWESOMER!
If I was a surgeon, everyone would wake up with dicks on their foreheads.
If I was a surgeon, everyone would wake up with
dicks on their foreheads.A butthole that’s two sizes larger than it was when they fell asleep.Truthanized!
They’d call me Dr. Dickonforehead.
And eventually I’d call myself “Not guilty your honor”.
It’s Norwegian.
If I were a surgeon, no one would wake up. Ever.
That would answer the age old question:
"What’s a dickfore?"
If I were a surgeon, I wouldn’t need to try so hard when I BTK.
What’s a dickfore?
Head
ZIIIINNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!
If I was a surgeon, I wouldn’t be a necrophiliac.
Erswi, I didnt defect on my own, I lost in a huge JINX accident. Oh the humanity
Only here at FD would I be able to say this Eib, but that’s a likely excuse. Weird, huh?
Im still your bitch, Erswi
YOU AREN’T SINGING, PACK-MULE!
If I were a surgeon, I probably wouldn’t be typing this on a public library computer while smelling like pee.
cant I be an entertainer, like on Galaxies, and dance around all day?
SING, DAMN YOU, SING! I’LL KILL ALL YOUR MOTHERS!
If I were a surgeon my parents would cry all the time.
WOULDN’T…gahhh and maybe then I could type a fucking sentence. Sheesh!
If I were a surgeon I’d be in plastics. Mainly b/c they play with boobs all day. I like boobs. And vaginas. I could do some vaginoplasty. How sexy does that sound ladies?
*incoming transmission*
The Mighty Fek’lhr was a back alley abortionist for a while…to make ends meet…
*end transmission*
Yeah but I bet they have to see a lot of those weird misshapen elf shoe tits.
Here’s a thought for you all; I would be willing to guarantee that every single one of you have eaten food, that at one point or another, has been in my direct care. Even you tundra dwellers and (fucking) limeys.
And I had a bad week last week.
Bwah ha ha ha ha!!
If I were a surgeon, I’d switch all the ladies buttholes with their vaginas (basically the same thing…at least for my ex girlfriend).
What do you do Crap?
If I were a surgeon, I would be the happiest gal ever. Id get to play with guts all day!
Wait the vagina and the butthole aren’t the same hole? Then how do my wife and i have kids?
Raise rabbits to throw into trashcans and drown and train mice to pit fight.Engineer at a produce processing company.Hey chalreg is that a mugshot of a one eyed Westley Snipes?
I think we need to go with "rotcha" on this one.
Maybe "alregio"….
I kinda liked HeCrotch
If I were a carpenter,
and you were a lady,
would you marry me anyway?
Would you have my baby?
-Terrorist
So this movie reminds me of a true story:
I had to drop a fat turd one day, so being that I was in a hurry, I forgot to lock the door to the bathroom. So just when I was done with the paper work, I’m getting up, turn around and just then my step-sister walks in on me. She starts freaking out at the sight of my bare ass and my pants at my ankles. She says "I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sooo sorry" and she slams the door shut. So I yell "HELP ME PULL UP MY PANTS, I GOT SHIT ON MY HANDS!".
So yeah, watching this movie is like having your pants at your ankles, while your step-sister walks in on you, and you got shit on your hands.
yeah is wes. Do we need to vote on the name or a battle to the death?
Or we can go full blown KKK and call it that "damn dirty nigger".
Def battle to death!
Ha ha crappy. I only eat
pussymeat so I don’t have your cooties.Ok that’s not entirely true. I have on occassion been known to eat vegetables, but only when my Dad says I can’t get down from the table until I finish my supper.
I see my latent racism has dursted yet another thread.
WHOA!!!! WITH THA NIGGER.
IT’S NIGGA.
PLEASE.
Like stew much, JHC?
Hey, remember when Snipes went total kotal during the Blade thing and always wore a black trench and sunglasses and fucked the bloody mudpipes of goth boys on the couch on Leno?
*incoming transmission*
Bah! Humans and their various dialects! It is almost as bad as teaching a Ferngi to speak Romulan! Get it???
*end transmission*
Shit! I have to go
poison the food supplyearn my keep.Ferngi is how Romulan bastards say Ferengi! Dor sho gha!
Unfortunately, Fek, I actually do. And you spelled ferengi wrong.
KKK = Ku Klux Klingon! BOOSH!
I took my meds today, I
swearthink.And I thought my "shitty hand" story would have Dursted.
But that did.
What in the world?
Nope Pauly, we are down with the scat here.
Our only taboo is liking Semi Pro. dont do it!
My roommate went and saw Semi-Pro. He said it was good, but he’s also the friend that when it comes to movie advice, I do the exact opposite.
This has nothing to do with the thread but neither do any of the other comments past the first page so here goes nothing.
Dear God,
I kinda thought you were a dick when you ignored my request to be able to touch strange, unwilling vagina without consequence. I really hated your guts when I didn’t get the ability to pee high quality bourbon. Now that you’ve ignored my request to smite all of Hollywood, or at least that vaginal diarrhea we call, Larry The Cable Guy, I think I’ve finally given up on you. What did we do to deserve a useless, pussy turd like him, huh god? Kill him please! Make him suffer. Why can’t you do this simple little thing for humanity before you wash your hands of us? Well guess what asshole! I’m done with you. Effective immediately you are no longer on any of my friends lists and I’ve deleted all my blog posts about how awesome your power is. Fuck you god! Fuck you up the ass with one of Larry The Cable guys putrid, dick smelling, comedy bits. Also, quit sending me emails with pictures of your son hugging that big T. I don’t give a fuck about that whiney fag either.
Eat shit,
Humanity
Scud…God didn’t do this.
The jews did.
I knew it… I never should’ve doubted Mr. Gibson
…you still there Scud?
*Scub lays crushed beneath the weight of a Sezna prop plane that crashed through his bedroom window*
f.y.i. – “Scub” is your derelict cousin.
Scub is the stuff that dries on my cock after sexy time. Or is that blood?
Better him than me.
Scub is the stuff that I put on my cock before sexy time…
…or is that crisco?
If I were a surgeon, I would make more money…sure, we all do. At ITS over 10,000 men and women have gotten training in any one of these courses:
Highschool
TV/VCR repair
Computer Programming
Child Day Care….
Scub, you poor bastard. We barely knew ye.
I get scub in my pee hole when I don’t clean after jacking off. It makes my pee stream wish bone.
Wish bone what?
Wow TV/VCR repair! If I made the kind of money those guys do I’d go to MillionaireSingles.com and try to date Charlie Sheen or Paris Hilton.
Precisely, scud, Precisely.
Wish bone what?
Basically making 1 pee stream into 2. I would have said "fork in the pee hole" but you see how that sounded.
Much sexier?
*Chodin attends the funeral. Everyone throws a flower into Scub’s grave, Chodin checks over his shoulder, shrugs and then lowers his pants to take a shit.*
Painful.
My comments don’t have a chance to make sense when you guys barge in front of me like that.
I thought it was awesome Al, it made it look as if you wanted me to take a “painful” shit into Scub’s grave.
*Scub pops out of the grave to tell Chodin what he had for lunch purely by smell, takes a bite and goes back to his long sleep.*
*Chodin smiles and glances up from grave to see the ghost of Brad Renfro. Chodin waves, Brad turns around to showcase his “Fuck All Ya’ll” tatto, turns back around and flips off Chodin.*
I always fork my stream when I forget to take the bobby pin out of my dick hole after a good tater mit session.
Faux Pas!!!
Know what I mean guys?
**nom stands still for the 21 gun salute, realizes that scub was not a veteran, reaches for his Rossi, it’s too late, 7 riflemen pump lead into nom’s hot body. nom lays on the ground dying…WWITH BLOOD!*
*Pauly holds up tater mit to side of his face with a smile*
I’m just smitten, with my tater mitten!
nom’s narrarator has a studder, BTW
COCKSUCKERS!
You had to go there? I almost got over the fact that Renfro, Ledger’d. Now the pain is brand new.
*Chodin rubs his eyes [and dick]- trying to figure out if Nom is really getting lit up at Scub’s funeral, or if it’s just the jenkem-balloon-hit setting in.*
*nom motions for chod to come closer, that he may have something to tell him. Chod comes closer and kneels down next to nom. nom begins to speak…"Good shit, huh dude? Primo". nom’s body goes limp. Chod is still confused*
Crap, you tryin’ to get into my pants with that Calamity Jane av or something?
I call my tatermitt "Adolph Mitler." He is a cruel Dicktater. My fifi is Eva Brauneye. When I go into my closet-of-shame, I play hiding in the bunkher. With blood.
*Chodin stands up, wipes the tears from his pussy and looks up to see the ghost of Nominus, shoulder-riding on top of the ghost of Jean Benet Ramsey. *
Fuck you Al you limey cocksucker! I’ll not sling my cunt in your establishment or here in this shitpile camp where Bill is buried!
<vomit>
*nom: Anyone know a chop shop where I could sell dis bitch?*
what the fuck is going on here?
a meat cleaver, ball-of-twine, and a block of wood
You don’t know bex? <reviews comments> Me either. It’s go time for this drunk!
Fuck OOOooooooofff…..
Jane, the Gem is too fine an establishment to have you; I was hoping it was myself personally you were interested in riding to Cheyenne.
what the fuck is going on here?
Everyone is high on The Fumes of Their Feces. Which is not the next Clint Eastwood war movie but, in fact, something much more sinister.
“what the fuck is going on here?”
….a prolonged DUUUUURRRRSSSSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
5 pages of pure durst good job guys, now i wont feel bad for actually working today, i think that the early first thing in the morning posting of COTW fucked up our mojo
so i just saw the video and know what this post was about, he movie looks so so, elizabeth banks gives off this incredibly filthy whore vibe, I like it
Man…this graveyard sure is spooky.
*owl hoot*
*The Mystery Machine pulls in*
Rooby rooby roo!!!!!!!!
That trailer was fucking awful. It tastes like someone forshakked all over it.
*Empty bottle of Olde English rattles on floor, cap twists off and smoke seeps out. Suddenly Pauly appears*
Como estas pinche Putas?
*half empty bottle of cabernet/shiraz clanks around on desk*
Muy bien, muchacho!
Do you think that "nigger" comment I made was too over the top? Well if he can’t take a joke, then fuck him! I have lots of online Canadian friends!
*Chodin sips piss from his dick*
I’ah Don’tah Speak’ah Mexican’a…
I don’t have to drink my own urine, but it’s sterile and I like the taste!
I don’t want to say I am drunk, but I do see spots flaoting around and shit…
I’m a spic. If I can’t or anyone else joke about that, then I can’t be a spic.
My best friend pissed on his own face when he tried to see how high he can piss.
I once pissed in my best friend’s face when I tried to see how high I could piss…
…and he was upstairs!
This movie is the reason why that if I had a wife, I’d beat the shit out of her.
Call me ladies!
Was it piss or did you “sling your ropes”?
It was piss Pauly…thick, chunky, red and yellow, curdled piss.
Sounds like you pissed a cheese cake, Chod.
…you know, not all X-Men are magnificent.
Would you go as far as to say X-ellent?
All of the XMen are Uncanny, though.
My ex girlfriend was uncanny.
Het mutant superpower, was the ability to smell like other men.
Her = Het, in the future.
Owen Harts theme music plays
crotchHe CrotchAlreigoThe Nigger falls from the top of the buildingWhats up fuckers? Just got home from work. No not offended altohugh I am planning a drive by Fek.
*Chodin crawls out naked from under the ring- takes off running up the entrance ramp.*
Oh hail! He fell from the ceiling. All I can tell you folks is that this is not part of the show! He fell from the ceiling!
oh shit, he’s ok. fuck it.
666
last! lol!
Scud gets the soggy cookie!
No not offended altohugh I am planning a drive by Fek.
Keep in mind my next door neighbor (at my trailer park) is a Jewish Marine Nazi. What I mean by that is, would you please shoot him up, too? The fucking guy vacuums his driveway!
Vacuums.
His driveway.
The Jewish Marine Nazi (I can’t even fucking make this up).
Oh, and that woman with the yappy dog across the street and three doors down.
And my landlord. He’s a pig fucker.
The woman across the street is widowed and home alone alot if you have a rape fantasy you want to live out.
I hope it’s Tex Cobb’s dough I get to eat.
…I don’t want to kill anyone. I want all the people I want dead to realize what a waste they are and kill themselves. I can’t even stand to be around the people I want to die so I don’t think I could deal with their bodily fluids that such a killing would require. Ergo, I would only kill someone I love. But I don’t want those I love to die so (start reading at beginning of comment)…
I just got my entire series Xmen cartoon in the mail today. Yep. I’m cool.
I do. Not in my age range though. I’m on the other side of the spectrum.
You would so butter Tex’s cob, scud.
Oh Lance, why have you forsaken us??? WHYYYYYYYYYYY
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Lance’s first post was verrry early this morning. I think he went to sleep early tonight
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*Two detectives are on a river bank, investigating a body that floated ashore*
Det.1: What do we got?
Det.2: A floater. Female. Early 20′s. Looks to be White. The fishermen found her with no clothes on. No signs of trauma. Possible suicide.
Det.1: Oh yeah.
*Det.1 snaps latex glove on his hand, reaches in victims vagina*
Det.1: Yeah, well how many people that commit suicide have a shattered pussy bone?
(cue “Who Are You?”)
I didn’t post on this thread, not even once!
FUCK!
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