Shine a Light is Martin Scorsese’s Rolling Stones concert documentary. It opens April 4th on regular and IMAX screens.
What I’m most impressed with is the CGI work. The band looks almost lifelke.
UPDATE: I’m told Keith’s face was actually created using a combination of CGI and animatronics.
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Dude, couldn’t this wait? We were on a roll with the Star Wars stuff!
Someone needs to tighten the screws behind each one of their heads. Their faces are coming undone.
The U2 show was aighty. This looks like a bunch of whiney incontinent old men. SIGN ME UP!
aighty – huh. does anyone else smell oranges and taste pennies?
How much direction do the Stones need?
"Alright Mick, I want you to flounce around on stage like a woman and make big puffy lips. Ron, stand there and look like you’re interested in what’s going on. Charlie, do you actually do anything for the band? And Keith, somebody revive Keith so we can do this. OK, strap a guitar to him and let’s go."
If you connect their liver spots, it forms a masonic symbol inside a pentagram.
"Please allow me to introduce myself…….you may have mistaken me for someone who cares"
"Start me up" now refers to Richards’ pacemaker.
"Time is on my side." No it isn’t.
"HEY HEY YOU YOU GET OFF OF MY LAWN!"
"I can’t get no…….Defibrillation!"
I care about the Stones about as much as I care about The Grateful Dead. Which is to say I don’t, even a little. You fuckers need to take the dirt nap already. You just wasting
weedoxygen at this point.The first concert seemed about a hundred years ago.
Hey, so Keith and Ron play guitar, Mick sings, and Charlie drums…. Who the fuck is their bass player?
The Mighty Fek’lhr confiscated a rider for the Stones. A few of the more amusing items on the list are:
Mick Jagger’s man purse is full of "Brown Sugar" packets that he stole from Cracker Barrel.
If they aren’t careful, one of their hips may get "Shattered".
I suck at this shit.
Lance’s thumb asks: Who the fuck is their bass player?
I’m guessing an EMT.
Lance, I believe it’s Nic Cage’s original forehead.
Sticky Fingers is being re-released as Hold on, I’ve got a wet-nap.
Who the fuck is their bass player?
Zog
I understand David Bowie comes
on stageonstage for an old, gay sex scene with Mick.One thing’s for sure, this sleepy London town ain’t no place for a feet-shufflin’ man.
While laughing, they nearly died.
Erswi, first your little spawn and now the Stones; you’re surrounded by nipple fixations and incontinence.
"Under My Thumb……..is my prick site to test my blood sugar"
I can’t get no satisfaction… because they’re too old for even Viagra to work now.
Unrelated, I’m in incredible pain right now and demand to know which one of you assholes is poking pins in the nick of your Al doll. Please stop. I’ll make it worth your while.
"Nick" is an even more excruciating place than "neck".
I loved their encore, Hey You, Get Off of My Lawn.
(*&@$#%%($% I knew someone else had to have done that joke already, I just can’t read. Sorry Rotwangchung.
Great. Another fucking zombie flick.
*beautiful black female voice singing*
"Waaake, Funerrral – it’s just a week away, it’s just a week away"
The Mighty Fek’lhr owuld be ashamed to say what he does with His Al doll…
Stinky Peet-0
Werther’s Originals-1
This one’ called Martin Scorcese
He makes the best fucking films
If I ever meet him I’m gonna grab his fuckin’ neck and just shake him
And say thank you thank you for makin’ such excellent fuckin’ movies
Then I’d twist his nose all the way the fuck around
And the rip off one of his ears and throw it
Like a like a like a fuckin’ frisbee
I wanna chew his fuckin’ lips off and grab his head and suck out one of his
eyes and chew on it and spit it out in his face
And thank you thank you for all of your fuckin’ films
Then I’d pick him up by the hair swing him over my head a few times
And throw him across the room and kick all his fuckin’ teeth in and then
stomp on his face 40 or 50 times
Cuz he makes the best fucking films
he makes the best fucking films I’ve ever seen in my life
I fuckin love him
I fuckin love himMartin Scorcese
Mppohho…lifelke?
Scorcese’s eyebrows were stolen from a minotaur.
Who the fuck is their bass player?
Zog
Zog try, Zog no get gig. Mick Jagger tell Zog Zog not old enough.
Don’t move your head
Don’t move your hands
Don’t move your lips
Just break your hips
Do the hip break, babe
Do the hip break, babe
Break your hip, babe
Break your hip, babe
It’s sad that they’re going to be screaming at themselves to turn down that racket.
"Impressed with the CGI work" — had to remove their walkers from every frame.
Those tennis balls on the end are a bitch to take out!
o/` Wiiiiiiiild nurses / couldn’t keep me aaa-waaaake o/`
Mick Jagger made Christina pregnant just by grinding with her. His sperm has advanced to the level where clothes cannot contain it. His sperm is…learning, evolving.
I’m scared. Hold me.