ICE AGE 3 TEASER BOOTLEG, VIA RUTUBE
03.21.08This is a bootleg of the Ice Age 3 (Dawn of the Dinosaurs) teaser that’s currently playing before Horton Hears a Who. The video comes from RuTube, which, believe it or not, is actually a Godless commie Russkie frenemy version of YouTube. See today’s featured video, after the jump.
Anyway, it looks like it was filmed by Abe Zapruder’s retarded grandson using a butt cam, but it does answer the question of what the fuck dinosaurs are doing in a movie about the ice age. They live in a mystical land underground – that explains it! Still doesn’t explain the cows with giant udders and male voices in Barnyard though. God that pisses me off.
But hold on, I’m not done with this Dawn of the Dinosaurs thing. Even if we accept that dinosaurs still exist in an underground lair somewhere during the ice age, that still begs the question of why it’s called Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Wouldn’t it be more appropriate to call it Last of the Dinosaurs, or Dinosaurs of the Underground, or Underworld: Dinosaur, or Holy Fuck, There are Still Some Fucking Dinosaurs, I Thought They Died Like a Million Years Ago But I Found Some Underground and It Was Fucking Awesome? Is anyone still listening to me?
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…I’d rather watch a bald eagle snatch my only child from the clutches of my future wife as she’s breast feeding.
Everything is magical underground. At least, that’s what I keep telling the hookers I bury.
That video after the jump is what happens when you don’t take the proper precautions when you Ghost Ride the whip.
In soviet Russia, tube TubeYou
I thought it looked neat. But where’s Verano? I don’t want to have to go all the way to Italy just to see this quality animated film.
Welp, IT guy’s here. Time to get to deleting history.
*Chodin sits with arm around child.*
Chodin: “Now contrary to the beliefs in this movie, there were no dinosaurs during the actually Ice Age.”
*Woman returns to her seat.*
Woman: “Get the FUCK AWAY FROM MY SON!”
Lance, let the Barnyard thing go. Not every animated movie can have voice casting as perfect as Open Season’s Ashton Kutcher doing the voice of a half-male nitwit.
Little Kid: “So there were no dinosaurs during the Ice Age?”
Chodin: “No dude…but the animals that were there COULD actually talk.”
I saw this when I was at the Horton movie with the brood this week. It still makes no sense.
Where Zog?
Newsies was a movie that always pissed me off. Those little fuckers weren’t running around dancing and singing. They were rotting in the streets from cholera and starvation.
Where Zog?
Zog busy try come up with funny comment. Give Zog minute to collect Zog thoughts, woman.
Little Kid: “So dere were no dinosawrs during the Ice Age?”
Chodin: “Fuck no dude.”
Little Kid: “But the aminals that were dere could talk, wight?”
Chodin: “Fuck yeah, dude.”
PHYSICS!!!!
I just tell little kids that all animals can talk and the reason they don’t talk to that particular little kid is because they don’t like him or her.
I thought Encino Man was a crock of shit, too. No way chicks would talk to Brendan Fraser, Pauly Shore or Sean Astin.
Why coyote cross road?
… I also tell them that the reason birds and squirrels can walk on power lines is because they’re electric and, if you touch them, they’ll electrocute you to death.
..because Gary Busey was fucking chasing him.
Why coyote cross road?
Because his dick was stuck in the chicken?
I wish they’d call the "Ice’d Age", and all the dinosaurs where hella ghetto and shit.
"It be colder dena muhfukka, sheeee.
I tell kids that their dicks are weird and that if they were 3-inches shorter then they’d be perfect like mine.
[I think that's from a joke somewhere?]
Yo we be dinosaurs under da earf, shit just got real.
This is such bullshit. Everyone knows that dinosaurs couldn’t live underground. They live in a section of Antarctica referred to as "The Savage Land" where it is mysteriously warm and green, but for some reason doesn’t show up on radar.