Our buddy Sean Faris (a tough kid who leads with his fists, and often his heart) is back to talk Never Back Down and tell us how grueling life is when you’re a model/actor.
If I ever spoke ill of Faris’ acting skills, I owe him an apology. Anyone who can pretend to take this movie seriously this long deserves some credit. Intercut with the hilariously self-serious interview are clips from the movie, in which Djimon Hounsou throws a cinder block over the moon, and Faris schools fools in an underground male-model Fight Club that just might save the rec center. GRR, RAP-METAL!
Man, nothing gets the adrenaline pumping like a kneebar and a Papa Roach album.
[thanks to Robby for the tip]
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/global/images/default-avatar.jpg){kind=avatar}
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/02/Werner-herzog-chicken-choke-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/Andy-serkis-rise-apes-no-cg-150x150.jpg)
It’s been awhile since I last posted, but this douchebag requires a comment. In the last post, he is giving an interview to the Seaholm newspaper in Birmingham, Michigan. For those unfamiliar w/ the school and area, it is an upper, middle-class area devoid of minorities and known for homos w/ popped collars (a poorer version of Orange County seems about right). Since he is given an interview to the paper, I will boldly assume that he is from the Birmingham area or has roots there, but he will still claim he is from Detroit (only 15 miles away), which helps to give him street cred to encourage people to "bring it." In short, I hope he dies very soon or stars in the next Step Up 2 the Streets.
Omg. I remembered I’ve seen him at the celeb club millionairefriends.com not long ago. Is her still here?
Omg. I remembered I’ve seen him at the celeb club millionairefriends.com not long ago. Is he still here?
Yea, it was definitely more than eight weeks because, well, fuck you.
Is the interviewer trying to remember her lines?
He can, has and will bite a dick in a fight.
Sorry to toot my own horn, but I feel Djimon Hounsou throws a cinder block over the moon, and Faris schools fools in an underground male-model Fight Club that just might save the rec center is a better-written and more succinct synopsis than the one provided by the studio.
This movie is roughly* based on the “Zoolander” walk-off scene.
*exactly
Damn That Sean Farris! He’s so hot right now!
How exactly does the fighting in this installment save the rec center? I heard producers didn’t plan for that to happen until the two franchises merge in "Never Back down 2: Fools Step Up 4: Some More"
we have a montage!! montage!! slowly getting better at things i wasnt better before!! montage!!
That dude is like Tom Cruise lite. I expect him to be joining Scientology to
hide the gheyboost his career within about 5 years. It’s a short walk from saying you don’t need school because you’re in the school of life to signing up for a False Purposes Rundown because you heard it was a good way to network. Run, Faris, run.SKOOLS FOR FOOLS.
Remember that scene in Raiders where the big dude is swinging a sword and Indy just shoots him? Well, that’s why movie trivia is better than a six-pack. Oh, it’s also why a Glock is better than a gym membership.
He probably dabbled in bi-sexuality while attending the college of life.
hey sean faris, you can derelict my balls el capitan!
oh hell yeah i dursted this fucker on a saturday afternoon, gonna go get my drink on with some carne asada you honkeys, laters
Adios, maricón.
El boosh.
Hell yeah, Fuck yeah, Shit yeah, Bex.
Yard work, Beer work, Grill work.
The sexual tension in that room would be thick as molasses if she wasn’t retarded and he didn’t love cock.
Jotos unidos para La Universidad de La Vida! Buey!
If anyone is nerdy enough to help me with my soundcard, I can watch this and give you all the female perspective. I’m not begging, just throwin’ it out there.
I haven’t watched it either, Al, but I can tell you, your’e not missing a thing.
To hell with the rec center. What about the dojo?
An original plot, does not live in this dojo. Does it?
OOO WHA AH AH A!ÂÂ
Like Robopanda, i too see a bit of Tom Cruise in this douche, and so does Tom Cruise.*
I don’t actually buy into the generally held belief that Tom Cruise likes cock, but for the sake of a cheap shot i will. Anybody read The Game by Neil Strauss? Tom Cruise comes across pretty well in that, in a supercharged alpha male, maybe too good to be true kind of way.
Thank God for this movie.
Otherwise the NASCAR crowd never would have learned about MMA.
If he learned discipline, self-control, and how to respect your opponent when he learned MMA (for those 8 weeks), then where did his quote in the last post come from?
"Some days it’s hard to let go of the character you played. You spend a whole day in a certain mood, it’s hard to go home and say ‘I’m gonna be normal now’"
There is just so much about that quote that makes me angry.
Learn to "act" instead of "be", you fucking no-talent pretty boy.
"Nobody can replace your father, especially teenage boys"
I guess that’s why when my father died, I didn’t try to replace him with teenage boys.
They should reshoot the sprint sequence and wear the exact same outfits Rocky and Apollo Creed wore when they ran along the beach. Eye of the Tiger would be a good choice of song for the soundtrack at this point, too. Hey, is Mr T in this? If he is then i’m there, dude.
Thank you Jack, now I’m glad I have no audio here at home.
Like I said, nice to look at, just don’t speak, dude.
Charlie, dude, I didn’t see your "dude" when I made my comment, so don’t think I"m copying your lingo just to sound cool.
Aww, boo. I thought Apollo wore a cut off top in this sequence:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ni9-s7SeZe0
The alternative choice of track here is pretty funny.
I’ts a free country, brother (of course i meant sister, for you) It’s not my lingo, Al, i just channeling Butthead every now and again.
Missed a word out there. like, probably.
Never bring a kick to a stab fight.
Never bring
a kickSean Faris to astabfight.FIXED!
His specialty move that he wins fights with in this movie is the Sean Fawrist-lock.
His specialty move is not the Kimura. It’s the Kimora Lee Simmons, where he wears too much eye makeup and takes half your shit, all the while doing a middling to decent job of sucking cock.
Has anyone asked the important question of why the fuck Lance is posting on a fucking Satruday?
I told those fucks down at the league office a thousand times that I don’t roll on Shabbos!
Lance promised to post a Sean Faris story everyday. He made the promise to the many Sea Faris pictures he has in his apartment. The ones that aren’t stuck together, at least.
My impression of the back of Lance’s notebook:
LM + SF
<3<3<3<3<3<3
Mrs. Lance Faris!
Wow, I could only watch 15 seconds before the smell of vinegar and water was overpowering.
Summmersss evveee makes me feel fine. Running through the cobwebs of my miiiind.
Doo doo doo doo do do
This is a parody of a Tom Cruise interview, right? Isn’t it? It isn’t? Seriously?
Working weekends huh, Lance? Your boss is an asshole. What’s that? You work for yourself…?
I hope this doesn’t mean you’re taking the after St. Patrick’s Day off.
The Mighty Fek’lhr had to stop watching when he beat that black dude in a race. AIn’t no brotha gonna let whitey catch his shit.
BOOSH! HERE COMES THE BOOSH!
I’ll Boosh your skull, Klingon scum!
Ok, what the hell? http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=42950
I have the 70s on the phone, they want their movies back
True story: My very good friend just got a job as an office manager of a dental office. They told her she would have to go down to Florida once a month for a year to take training classes for her job. My friend flies down to Florida, only to find out that the "traning classes" are really Scientology recruitment seminars that medical professionals use to trick their employees in to joining the cult. Awesome.
Klingon scum is it?
Yeah, that is a fairly accurate description of Him.
GRRR…LISA RINNA IS A CUNTSCAB COCKTORCH ASSFLAKE!!!!!!!!!
Tom Cruise Jr. anyone?
I have taint hairs that put up more of a fuss than this cock gargler.
Pauly, I want to stab your avatar in the eye.
And everywhere else, too.
I’m still waiting for the evil deceptive fucker who started poating as "Fuckin’ Mike" to reveal himself. I know Bush put you up to this. That evil, greedy, puppet who has’nt a soul. Gavin Rossdale! yOU’rE mINE, Punkafuck.
Is poating like posting, only not as funny?
Oh, lick on it before I stick on it.
You know I always do, Nom.
::finds a long-lost joint stuffed under the couch::
WTF? I thought we weeded the weed. We Did.
::breaks open joint, tobacco spinkles to the berber carpet::
We Did.
PS, who fucked up my post?
We? What’s a "We"?
::looks downwards::
No it isn’t. Jerk.
This may have been covered – I have neither the time nor inclination to read all these comments to find out as my pot pie is cooling on the window-sill – but is this douche related to Anna Faris? I would let her kick me in the face for free if she would get naked and agree to kick me in the face.
+2 for repetition
but is this douche related to Anna Faris?
They’re certainly not siblings. No relation, as far as I can tell.
This guy is much hotter than Anna Faris.
Dude, He cannot believe you guys waited for the nerdy online Klingon to help Al with her sound card. At least she showed Him all the racy pics on her facebook page.
I’ve already seen all the pics on her facebook page.
Jack, I boosh your milkshake.
Fek, I milk your prostate.
Fek, you are indeed a Klingon God, however as technogy hates me, I’m still struggling with the download thing. Removing all racy pics from Facebook… NOW.
Jacktion! my avatar has been stabbed before, but has reserved a special place just for you to stab.
Al, don’t make Him hurt your computer.
In Soviet Russia he’ll kick your punch in a face fight.
How do you win a face fight?
How do you win a face fight?
By not being Rumer Willis.
Am I the only one who thought it was weird that When John Travolta and Nic Cage switched faces in Face Off that they also switched voices and body types?
Cage and Travolta should have used the magic skull that Judge Reinhold and Fred Savage used in “Vice Versa”.
With medical procedures so expensive, wouldn’t it be the more cost effective route?
Am I the only one who hasn’t seen Al’s racy facebook photos? What the fuck, I thought I was the puppet leader of this army.
Don’t you think leaving the mystery of who the woman behind the moustache is unsolved is far sexier than finding out? I think it is. Yes, far sexier.
Not if that snatch has a ‘stache, Al.
Zing!
Fuck you, Lance! I’m the puppet leader of this army!
I’m the drummer of the muppet band.
Can I be the Swedish Chef? Hey, where the hell has Beeker been, anyway? I miss her.
Jacktion! can be Fozzy.
I’ve always wanted to throw a tomato at his face.
I agree with Jacktion, he is a muppet.