HANGOVER BEAR HATES DRILLBIT TAYLOR
03.18.08A couple of clips from Drillbit Taylor – written by Seth Rogen, produced by Judd Apatow, starring Owen Wilson – have made it to the intertubes.
Opening this weekend, it appears to be about some kids who need a bodyguard to protect them because they all have stupid hair. Eventually they hire Owen Wilson to come scare people with his cock-like nose.
When I’m king, all high school kids will be played by 30-year-olds in costume. I know it sounds rash, but child actors are the scourge of this nation. A couple more clips after the jump, if you’re into the whole mediocrity thing.
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![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/01/this-is-forty-movie-image-paul-rudd-leslie-mann-01-150x150.jpg)
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im into watching. that’s not weird right guys? guys?
So if we are mean enough about this will he try again? Properly this time, bitch.
Owned Wilson FTW!!!
Damn, it’s painful being reminded that I’m outside of the target demographic for this film. I’m too old (and manly) to identify with the nerdy high-school kids and too straight and smart to identify with the older guy that desperately wants to be worshipped by high-school boys.
Do these guys do open casting at local temples? Because I grew up with some serious Jews and could make a killing as an agent.
::pounds chest with closed fist and raises it to hangover bear::
my nigga.
Owen Wilson has recently been the subject of rumors involving a romantic involvement with Jennifer Aniston. I think he is trying to kill himself again bryce, just much more slowly and painfully this time.
DubDub: Word. That bear looks like I feel. Fuzzy? Wait, that doesn’t make sense…er…
I’m hungover. That’s what I’m trying to say.
Camo pants and aviators? Is Owen Wilson in my old fraternity?
Trying to convince me that Owen Wilson would know anything about being a bad ass is like trying to convice me that Elton John knows anything about eating pussy.
GRRRR…….LICK THE ALPHABET!!!!
2nd interviewer, I believe, is the bodyguard from "my bodyguard" w/Chris Makespeace
I once sucked off Owen Wilson’s nose and got a face full of snot. It wasn’t nearly as delicious as cum, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Hangover bear makes the water pretty colors
The second guy is Adam Baldwin from Chuck. I’m guessing the first guy’s name is Gravy.
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Hey! What was that Owen Wilson movie based on the Elmore Leonard novel with him in Hawai’i and co-starred that black god actor dude? It was interrsting… Wait… I must be hungover too. I’m talking about movies on FilmDrunk. What a asshole I am!
He’s also Jane from FireFly YOU FREAKIN NERDS
The Big Bounce I think
He really should have stopped making movies after They Royal Tennenbaums.
Proof: "I call that my Kung-Pow Chicken"
Hey remember that time Owen was in that cable guy movie with Judd Apatow’s wife (that’s where they met awwwww) and Owen’s all "hey, you’re sexy" to her? yeah. I miss that Owen Wilson.
So, since it was written by Seth Rogen, which of those kids do you think more represents him? Or is it both; where there’s a fat Seth Rogen and a skinny Seth Rogen? Like the Jew Oprah.
Fine, I’ll be the first to say it…
SHANGHAI KNIGHTS WAS BETTER THAN SHANGHAI NOON!!!
Chewy? Have you even seen Star Wars?
Hey so when Jennifer starts calling him Brad when he’s balls deep in her barren mommy valley and then starts crying after and begging him to stay or she’ll die… think he’s got the balls (on his upper lip) to punch her in the leathery cheerio and bail?
Yeah. Prepare for 3 months of Drillbit Taylor quotes as they invade pop culture starting Friday.
You can combat them by doing your best Borat impression. It’s like distracting a 4 year old with photos of a John Deere tractor.
Fat Jew kid with a fro is the new funny, to fat jew kids with fros.
True story: my friend and I were drunk as mules walking around Santa Monica like a year and a half ago. There’s all this commotion in the streets and the next thing we know, we’re standing next to all this camera gear and the road is all blocked off. Some dude’s all “Hey, you guys need to leave the set, we’re filming here.” and without blinking we slur, “Weerrr tha’ internsnsns….” . Dude goes “Okay! Well here, block the streets and don’t let anyone take pictures”.
Even drunk as piss and standing there watching Owen Wilson act, we got really fucking bored. We quit and went to sleep on the beach.
Hope I get a credit.
lle07, yes, that was it.
That movie The Big Bounce sucked.
^ long road to nowhere.
SS, I see your Borat and raise you Austin Powers.
<Notices room is empty and starts masturbating into coffee filter package>
Being from Kansas, all I have to do is yell "Git R Done" and the crowd does the rest for me.
Crap- I’m all in with every fucking Will Ferrell movie ever made.
Can’t we just quote Bottle Rocket again?
Alternately, when I’m at the mall and there are no seats at the food court, all I have to do is look out the window and say "look everybody, a black guy and a white girl holding hands!"
Works every time.
I like when Dick-sicles throw a movie quote at me. I just give them a look like they have leprosy. Then when they ask "What? You havn’t seen that one?" I throw the spooge that I keep in the palm of my hand on there face.
"You tried to touch my sister’s coochie!!"
Can’t we just quote Bottle Rocket again?
I hate when people try to tell me what a good movie fucking Bottle Rocket was. Bottle Rocket is the ultmate film school movie – GRR, FILMING PEOPLE DOING STUFF.
FILM SKOOLS FOR FOOLS!
YEAH! Fuck film school!!! FAGGOTS!!!!
*Chodin smirks, glances around and bites his lip. Lets a SBD fart slide out.*
‘Drillbit Taylor’ is pretty much the reason homeboy tried to kill himself, right? Write!?!?!! WRIGHT!!?!?!
My fucking tongue tastes aweful today!!!
What’d you eat Lance?
What do you think is a bigger hangover day, today or Super Bowl Monday? My head and loose stool say today.
thank you lance i hated fucking bottle rockett too
I never saw Bottle Rocket, but I knew this insufferable cunt who swore it was the best movie ever made. I made a lot of good decisions based on doing the opposite of what she recommended.
YOU HEAR THAT MOM?! I’M NOT GOING TO BARBER COLLEGE!
I do not understand the appeal of Dicknose. Why does he keep getting work? Oh, well, now they are afraid to turn him down, he will go all emo on their asses and cut himself.
I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself.
Oldie but a goodie
Thanks, Lance.
Ricky Linderman… Haa!!