Friday Free for All is a FilmDrunk feature in which I allow myself to post a ridiculous movie clip, no matter how irrelevant. Today’s entry comes from this fantastic Cracked article about fictional martial arts disciplines. They introduce the clip thusly:
In 1985, Olympic gold medalist Kurt Thomas starred in the movie Gymkata. Gymkata, a movie Maxim ranked as the 17th worst movie of all time, was based on the novel The Terrible Game by Dan Tyler Moore, a novel so bad no one has even bothered to make a Wikipedia entry for it.
Kurt Thomas? Am I missing something? The dude in the clip is clearly MacGuyver.
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Ummm… were those guys ninjas from a Bruce Lee movie in street clothes?
I’d like to see how they worked the ribbon floor routine into a fight scene for this movie.
Actually, if they added this degree of difficulty to men’s gymnastics I think they can improve their ratings. Hell, you’re just as likely to see tits from watching the men, add in violence against poor people and you’ve got yourself a Spike TV hit show.
That went on for ever
In Soviet Russia pummel horse makes love to you
$50 says the next "town square" they fought in had two rings hanging from the trees.
"Oh no, you have to cross this chasm, luckily there are two even and parallel bars that span the gap"
I saw the video earlier at "million a i r e f r iends. com", where celebrities, pro athletes and wealthy singles mingle. Many wealthy people are talking about it there.
"Ha ha! You’ll never make it over this wall! All you have is a springboard and a horse!"
"I have marked out this large square for you to fight in. Stay only in this square, for one step over the line will activate the gas!"
I am officially out of men’s gymanstics references.
Do male gymnasts not have wet dreams until they turn 30 akin to the females not getting tits until they
buy themstop performing gymnastics?What a GayLord
I saw their videos earlier and videos posted on millionairefriends.com. Many people are talking about it there.
Was the foley artist on this picture Jonesy from the Police Academy movies? Fantastic sound effects.
You know, you would think with a topic as ghey as gymnastics that there would be tons of shit to make fun of. The thing is, they pretty much make fun of themselves enough for everyone. Fags.
I made it 19 seconds in. Anything cool happen after that?
Dazzleblab- Shampoo my crotch.
Michelle07 gets a nomination. There used to be a curry house in Manchester called Gaylord. It’s shut now.
In my early days as a screenwriter, I failed to sell my sequel, "Welcome Back Gymkata."
There have to be other olympic athletes that we can get into adaptation movies.
Quick somebody write a novel about an incontinent Eastern European weightlifting woman!
….Dan Tyler Moore….
Who can turn the World on with his smile…..
What a bunch of pussies. I’m surprised Canada didn’t sue over likeness rights.
How about a movie starring an Olympic Biathlete called The Skier Who Also Shoots Things.
I’ve always thought that sex with a gymnast would be so fuckin’ cool because of their flexibility. However, I’m pretty sure I would lose my hard on if I was doing Kerri Strug doggie-style and she bent herself backward to stare at me face to face.
I dunno, you’re on your way to storm the castle and kill the monster with the rest of the angry mob and the next thing you know some clown on a pommel horse is swinging his foot in your face.
The dude in the clip is clearly MacGuyver.
i can make this scence shittier i just need a tin can, a dildo, double sideed tape and Keanu Reeves.
How about a movie a lovie about a guy who competes in the one-man bobsled event, but just can never win? The Luge-er hits theatres in Christmas ’09
I don’t know, J. Having an old Russian man in the room screaming at us doesn’t really turn me on.
Jack, Alex Rodriguez is interested in starring in your Biathlete project.
I missed my connector bus to school so I just turned around and came home. Instead of education, I got to witness two aggressively ugly people making out. He was a skinny pugnosed person who looked like a was retarded. She was fat and had a cheesegrated, raw, red-skinned face. He kept curling his lip back when he kissed her and kept lisping that he loved her. She had one of those whiney voices and kept begging him to take the bus with her a town past his stop. I tried to get away from them, but they followed me like gay rumours follow Tom Cruise. Ooopah!
Is pillow-fighting a recognized martial art?
This movie was described in my Uncle John’s bathroom reader. So I’m not going to waste my time watching the clip. I’ve wasted enough time today (see my last comment for proof).
How about a movie about an angry Austrian bicycle racer who learns that life is about more than competing on in indoor track: Mad Max, Beyond Belodrome
Is pillow-fighting a recognized martial art?
No, but using Warwick Davis as a weapon is.
Sorry *Velodrome
For years I’ve complained to our city council about the stupidity on their part of mandating construction of a pummel horse at every intersection. It really snarls traffic during the morning commute. But now, after being reminded of this
turdfilm, I can see how they would be an effective anti-crime tool.I’ll be pissed if you don’t post a clip of
Mitch GaylordJanet Jones from American Anthem next week…They need to make a pommel horse more like the electric bull rides at those country bars. They seem to have magical powers, making unattractive women take their shirts off.
What a bunch of pussies. I’m surprised Canada didn’t sue over likeness rights.
Huh?
What a bunch of pussies. I’m surprised Canada didn’t sue over likeness rights.
Huh?Eh?FIXED.
The pommelhorse out of this air reminds me…..
Don’t walk on ice anywhere in Canada.
A guy will come out of nowhere, drop his gloves, pull your cardigan over your head and punch you in the face.
anti-gravitational breasts, your avatar is what? I’m calling you pussyface rainbow cloud from now on! Side note “pussyface rainbow cloud” was my Navajo name until I had it changed to Kirt Cameron.
It’s a girl with a cat head riding a skateboard, duh.
Or it’s a cat with a girl’s body riding a skateboard.
K Cameron got married on my street. True story.
The cat-girl looks like she’s feeling up some imaginary tits. On the fly.
<<<<—— It’s a picture that makes me happy and I have no idea why. This is what I want all my future drug-trips to look like.
Last night I had a dream I beat up a def kid for using my bathroom and as punishment I had to date a retarded girl from his “retard class”. She was cute though, but I think she had huge calfs (which is gross on girls). What’s that all about?
Is it calfs or calves?
A girl near my parents has huge calves. They’re veal. I’m planning a hilarious midnight caper to break them out.
Notes From Post-Fight Meeting:
1. Remove pummel horse from the town square… seriously, who put that there?
2. When we have the guy outnumbered and surrounded, ATTACK ALL AT ONCE!
3. Next time, try throwing an ax at him?
4. If he makes a break for it, DON’T let him through. Imagine it’s Red Rover
Fuck, no one even mentioned Brian "The Boz
o" Bosworth about this clip? It’s like I don’t even know you guys any more. :(That looks like one of those khaki/blue shirt douchbags from the dot.com era.
In fact, that looks like one of the hundreds of $40,000 launch parties!
Was this movie set in the dark ages – is that why the video looks so dark?
Surprisingly, Pummel-Horse-Do never really caught on as a martial art.
Okay, nobody attack at once. Jimmy you’re up first.
Oh, he got Jimmy. Ben, you’re next.
Oh, he got Ben. Okay, Alex, it’s up to you.
Oh, I thought Alex would get him for sure.
Hey, Jim and Hank – no double attacks – one at a time like we practiced…