ELLEN PAGE’S REPLACEMENT
03.04.08
28-year-old actress Alison Lohman (Big Fish, Matchstick Men) has been cast as the lead in Sam Raimi’s upcoming "supernatural thriller" Drag Me to Hell, replacing Juno star Ellen Page, who left due to "scheduling issues."
Th film, which will mark Raimi’s first helming effort since "Spider-Man 3," centers on the unwitting recipient of a supernatural curse. [Variety]
This is a contoversial decision, but I for one am behind it 100%. Alison Lohman is a fine young actress who’s shown a real propensity for almost having her nipple showing in public – and it looks like a nice puffy nipple, the kind of nipple that says "fun".
But if you forced me to pick a favorite role, I’d have to go with her spellbinding performance in whatever this movie is (NWS).
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Wow, that is a nice picture! I hope my mom doesn’t hear the printer running in the basement!!! ha ha ha
-Ker’SPlat
I too am the unwitting recipient of a supernatural curse. I have no idea what it is on account of I’m nonwitting.
Oh thats what NWS means!
NWS means blowjobs? Man, I can’t wait to go home and get a NWS!
Wow, I never would have imagined that a tater mitt would actually work so well! Wait until Dumas and Pat’Ofile read my blog! (They are the other two warriors in my clan, we play Magic on Friday nights, too.)
-Ker’SPlat
I think she can join Pillow fight club. If she wants.
Nice side boob.
In the banner picture she looks like a blonde Ellen Page. Amazing
I miss Magic. Got me through High School.
I miss Magic too, I hope his HIV isn’t BONG!!!!
I suck
Empty jenkem baloon :(
She’s so pretty. I saw her profile on millionaire personals site on "millionair e f r i e n d s. com" last week. It seems she turns to online dating scene for true love.
She’s so pretty. I saw NIPPLES!!!
*round of applause for titties and the hot chicks that have them*
<un-Fek’lhr/Ker’SPlat>
GRRRR…OLD SCHOOL MAGIC ONLY! NONE OF THIS TOURNAMENT LEGAL BULLSHIT!!!
</un-Fek’lhr/Ker’SPlat>
This chick could really "tap my mana" if you know what I mean!
fek so youre discriminating against hiv positive magic?
From Michael Madsen’s website:
"I saw some stills from Where the Truth Lies.
If the truth is a boner, it’s right between my thighs.
Today’s Marmaduke cartoon was hilarious."
ha ha, good joke "The Luchador"! I bet my White Mana Battery would be surging and overflowing around
youher!-Ker’SPlat
I’ll let this chick prod my multidimensional array every census, if you know what I’m saying!
boosh
Make sure you wear your "Jester’s Cap" so you don’t get "The Wrath of God".
Hey, "The Luchador", you must like Magic as much as I do, ha ha.
-Ker’SPlat
Would Kitty Pride’s mutant ability make it easier for her to do anal or does her whole body become uh, err, shitfuck if I can think of the word I’m looking for here. You know what I mean.
She could play with my black deck
ha ha, it would have been funny if you said "dick" by accident!
-Ker’SPlat
ZOG SEE SIDE BOOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Am I a filthy stinkiing pedophile if I just imagine she’s under 18?
I like to masturbate during the A team.
I was the answer to a question on an STD questionnaire.
I don’t know what you guys are talking about, but I would totally play sports with this girl.
water sports?
From Michael Madsen’s website:
"I was on a ‘roll’ with Species 1′
I got paid to see Natasha’s bum,
But then along came Species 2,
Albatros.
What a bunch of idiots they have over at Variety. It’s like they think that extra words makes good writing. Trust me, it doesn’t. Can anyone name any kind of curse that isn’t a supernatural one?
What a bunch of idiots they have over at Variety. It’s like they think that extra words makes good writing. Trust me, it doesn’t. Can anyone name any kind of curse that isn’t a supernatural one?
Crap.
My natural good looks are a curse. sniff
Zog think posting by proxy more cumbersome than worth.
Is it wrong that most of the actresses I find incredibly hot look like they’re 11 years old? It honestly doesn;t matter to me one way or another, I’d ruin that chick (with my penis)
I was cursed to be born with a pig nose! That movie ripped me off…
Genital herpes is considered a curse right? A friend of mine is curious. He wants to check out millionairesignles.com but feels guilty because his naughty bits are puffy at the moment.
Ironically (?) I cover my deformity by using a bunny mask!
hehe zog said cum
Also ironically, I cover my deformity by using pants.
I compensate for my deformity by shattering the dreams and hearts of all who cross my path.
COCKSUCKERS!
Just how am I going to nut off to this chick now that I know she’s 28 and not 16?!? EH?! DAMN YOU MARTINI!!
Wait, hold on, nevermind, still works.
I’m waiting for the first movie to talk about the plague of manufactured curses haunting my pants.
Qaplah!
Geez, that was quick. I hate having to apologize to my hand.
Hold on,
BAND NAME!
The Manufactured Plague of the Haunting Pants Curse
Zog no want to die in three year. Zog not sure how tiny man and woman in magic box know Zog condition or habit. Zog angry that tiny people presume Zog doomed to fate tiny people so sure about. Zog not take it anymore.
Isn’t the "accidental" nip slip a little cliche now? Take it to the next level already, girls. I want to see starlets punch fucking each other on the red carpet by summer.
If you get my drift.
If you look at the pic just so, the gigantic head of Renee is blowing on her nip.
<waits for everybody to scoll up and look>
See, told you.
*The Manufactured Plague of the Haunting Pants Curse*
Sounds more like a song name than a band name. But then again, I hate band names that are longer than my
penislongevity in the sackfeet.Craptastic: I’m not sure if that will encrease or diminish my boner. Only one way to find out…
*leaves in search of a schoolgirl to rape/BTK*
You know what’s a god band name?
My band name.
god band-it!
That’s right, it’s god band name.
Thor ath-hole.
Sorry guys, my mom was yelling at me because the toner was low and all the glossy paper had been used up again.
-Ker’SPlat
Hey Jack! Nice avi of googly eyed flavored butt plugs!
Hmmmm?
Oh… I mean, ghosts.
Dear Bill Gates:
You fucking suck.
-Steve Jobs
Dear Steve Jobs:
This is Bill Gates’ secretary. He makes too much money to bother reading letters, so I just shredded it, along with
documentation on how we suckered the American public into buying our shitty software by simply being the only game in townyour Christmas card.-Brenda
c/o Bill Gates
Dear Steve (blow)Jobs: (hehe)
Your wife does my windows.
-Bill Gates
p.s. I fucked her with a wad of cash.
Dear Bill:
I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this.
I am disappointed.
I’m buying a Commodore 64.
-Steve
Dear Steve and Bill
Stop with the limp wristed slap fight and kiss already you pussies.
-Ted Turner
Dear Steve:
Your beard makes you look queer, not to mention old.
-Bill
Real Klingons use Linux!
-Ker’SPlat
Dear Ted:
I loved working with you on Family Guy.
-Bill
Dear Computer Pussies:
cc: Ted Turner
I sold more of my computers than any of you jack-offs ever did.
-Sam Tramiel
Dear Sam Tramiel:
Don’t get pissy with us because your company went bankrupt. That shit happened almost 15 years ago. Get over it, fag.
-Bill, Steve, & Ted
Dear John.
By the time you read this note, I’ll be gone.
Ha ha…Bill, Steve, & Ted….
Dear John, Steve, Sam, Bill & Ted,
I banged madonna AFTER all those black guys! Beat that!
-David Beckham
p.s. Losers!
Dear Dave
That was me actually.
-Guy Ritchie
p.s. Idiot
Dear Grey Goose,
Thank you.
Love, Heather
Dear, um Bill? Is it Bill? Yes – Bill, Steve, and Ted –
We had some extra cash this quarter – we’ll be purchasing your companies as of 3pm. Thanks in advance for getting rid of all non-essentials before then.
O.P.E.C.
Dear David Beckham:
I got AIDS from Dennis Rodman. Just thought I should let you know.
-Madonna
Daer Opec:
We’re comin’ to bomb you back to the stone age and take yer oil.
-
Dick CheneyGeorge BushDaer Opec:
We’re comin’ to bomb you back to the stone age and
take yer oilInspect for WMD’s-
Dick CheneyGeorge Bush-Mission accomplished
Dear George –
BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAAHAHAH.
Oh, geez – that was rich. I haven’t laughed like that since you morons started paying $3.00/gallon.
O.P.E.C.
PS – Enjoy being replaced by a chick or a black dude.
Dear Dick Cheney:
I’m coming to get you.
-The Microwave
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080304/ap_en_ot/obit_gygax
Dear Abby,
I have been seeing this guy for 6 months and all he wants to do is have sex. How do I know if he loves me or just using me for his pleasure?
-Pauly Dangerously
Dear Pauly Dangerously,
You’ve been making him wait six months? Quit being such a prude and put out!
-Abby
Looks like God rolled the proverbial dodecahedron.
Dear Abby,
You’re a slut.
Anne Landers
*sniffle*
R.I.P. Gary Gygax, QAPLAH!
R.I.P Jeff Healy
New up COCKPUNCHERS!
Dear Ann Landers,
You aren’t even alive anymore. So you can stop writing now.
Sincerely,
Abby