DIE YUPPIE SCUM
03.05.08
A while back I brought you news of Made of Honor, a rom-com that joins a proud tradition of bad made/maid titles, and whose plot is virtually identical to My Best Friend’s Wedding.
Anyway, thanks to a new contest, YOU can get married at the premiere – it’d be like a McDream come true!
[To enter] go to the website and submit a photo of you and your beloved, along with the story of the moment you realized you were meant to be together [From the first second I saw her I just knew she was the stackedest Ukranian on the whole dang internet]
[From the entries will be chosen] 20 semi-finalists, who will submit videos of themselves answering the same question…The contest will be featured on Entertainment Tonight. The top four will move on to the coveted final round, where your video and story will be judged and voted on by the public to determine which lucky couple gets the grand prize… A trip for four to the premiere city [Fingers crossed for Wilmington!]. …The bride’s gown (provided by Selia Yang), the groom’s tux, a bridal bouquet (provided by Fleurop), his-and-hers wedding bands (provided by Damiani), and a $3000 gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond. [Cinematical]
Bed, Bath and Beyond is the 9th circle of hell. You go in looking for a bath mat and spend the next three hours feeling like a failure because your ceiling fan cord doesn’t match your duvet cover (sweet lord, doesn’t anything go with mauve?). But I guess it’s either or that or forever hold your piece. Get it?? Oh my God, feel the PUNishment! *sigh*
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My wife entered us into this and now I get more spam. Bitch!
A wedding story you can bore your kids with for years to come.
Oh Lord.
I take it back. It is possible to hate beige.
Caption: "Anybody order a pizza?"
I really dont understand why the majority of women (filmdrunkfemmes aside) like this crap. It doesnt happen in real life, no matter how many times you watch Bridget Jones Diary, eating a box of Oreos.
Bed, Bath and Beyond is the 9th circle of hell. You go in looking for a bath mat and spend the next three hours feeling like a failure because your ceiling fan cord doesn’t match your duvet cover (sweet lord, doesn’t anything go with mauve?).
Agreed. The last time I went to BB&B it was just to get a new shower curtain. I ended up with a whole bathroom towel set ($130???) and I still felt like an asshole for not getting a new comforter to match my sheets…
GRRRR…MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL!!!
$3000 gift card to Bed Bath & Beyond
Why not just give the bride the gift card and give the groom a boot to the nuts? At least he wouldn’t have to waste his time in BB&B and still get the same effect.
Feklahr (the half-ogre bezerker in my avatar, not the Klingon) would stroll into that fucking premiere with his barbed tessto (giant club) and fucking brain all of the fucktard shitstains that wasted their fucking lives by doing this kind of shit.
However, he would take the groom by the neck and leg and tear him in two as a sacrifice to His god, Zarathos, condemning the girly-man groom to an eternity of emasculating anguish and homosexual torment.
After that Feklahr would just spaz and kill everyone he could see. And wipe his ass with the bloody wedding gown.
I like Feklahr.
Bed, Bath and Beyond is the 9th circle of hell. You go in looking for a bath mat and spend the next three hours feeling like a failure because your ceiling fan cord doesn’t match your duvet cover (sweet lord, doesn’t anything go with mauve?).
Tell me about it. I’m always complaining to my wife that the carpet doesn’t match the drapes. But really, what kind of drapes are going to match an unkempt carpet anyways?
I like that they are required to submit a photo because ET doesn’t support the union of two uggos. Which is good, because fuck babies who aren’t cute.
Feklahr:
Now THAT I would watch. Especially if you wait until after Seacrest shows up for the interview (you know he will)…
Who doesn’t like Feklahr with people skills like that?
Feklahr would fight Uwe Boll. WITH HIS THUMB!
$3k at Bed Bath and Beyond will cover 1/3 the cost of a set of Calphalon cookware. I don’t even know where Calphalonia is, but those fuckers sure can make a pan.
Bed Bath and BM totally rocks, it’s one of the few public restrooms in Chelsea.
Holy Christ is there anything that Terry Bollea won’t pimp himself for? Fly Fishing?
What’s next, "Massengill, because I’m a douche so you should buy one too….BROTHER!!"?
Totally Hetero, fun fact: Patrick Dempsey is also a racer. He drove at this year’s 24 Hours of Daytona. He crashed into the wall on pit-out, but still did ok…
McShit
And he looks just like Chris O’Donnell in that picture which made me think of Kinsey where he talks about "having a third leg" and needing to bone his wife which totally made me puke. Ohhhhh good good bye delicious bage.
bagel. I didn’t just make up a word
It’s Eibs boobs, so distracting.
Oh God, did I Durst? I feel so dirty.
Not to be confused with Matthew McConughey and Kate Hudson’s latest film "Maid of Boner." This housekeeper was born to poke around!
Im more than boobs, people!
I’m sure next year there will be a Made/Maid Movie spoofing all these gems. And then you all will yell at me for this comment prompting some douche to fund the movie. But it’s all a part of my plan–I’ve said too much already.
Made the Spartans?
Did anyone else catch the tag line down on McSmugly’s tux? An unbrideled comedy. Whoever wrote that should be fired from their cushy ad agency gig, hired to write headlines for the New York Post, given an office on the 18th floor with a nice view of the Whitestone Bridge, then thrown out the fucking window.
AGB:
When you really think about it, they all kinda spoof each other…
I’d rather watch Charles Manson tap-dance than think about this anymore.
An unbrideled comedy.
Maybe he fucks a horse
Whoever wrote that should be fired from their cushy ad agency gig, hired to write headlines for the New York Post, given an office on the 18th floor with a nice view of the Whitestone Bridge, then thrown out the fucking window by Feklahr!
FIXED! QAPLAH!
Sorry, off topic, but Eib, if this keeps up, you might have to change your name to seiboob.
Since I’ve successfully used this site for business networking once before, do any of you work in the printing business? I need some basic stuff and I’m not having luck with the company I was working with. PM me.
Ok – back to the comedy.
An unbrideled comedy
Wait, SJP and Julia Roberts are in this?
Whoever wrote thatAnyone in marketing and advertising should befired from their cushy ad agency gig, hired to write headlines for the New York Post, given an office on the 18th floor with a nice view of the Whitestone Bridge, thenthrown out the fucking window by Feklahr!fixeder.
An unbrideled comedy
That just means they ride Gary Busey bareback.
Pauly, wouldn’t that be an un-medicated comedy?
Whoever wrote thatAnyone that goes to see this moviein marketing and advertisingshould befired from their cushy ad agency gig, hired to write headlines for the New York Post, given an office on the 18th floor with a nice view of the Whitestone Bridge, thenthrown out the fucking window byFeklahr!SEXMAN!!!Or would it be an unrelenting assault on taste and decency? Yeah, I’ma go with the latter on this one.
I don’t know Erswi, Busey sprinkles crushed up Horse Tranquilizer on his cork flakes for breakfast.
FYI, this site is the best business networking connection I have in my aresenal…
I just donated 6 inches to a little bald girl during a Locks of Love drive here…the bitch better keep her mouth shut about it too.
I think McDreamy has it in his contract that he is the most tanned white person on set at all times. *crosses fingers for melanoma*
I loved Patrick Dempsey in the 80s. What happened?
I loved Patrick Dempsey in the 80s. What happened?
The 90′s
PATRICK SWAYZE HAS CANCER!!! CANCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRR!!!
WHAT THE FUCK DOES UNBRIDELED MEAN????
Watanabex: No worries, Kelly Lynch is gonna surgically remove the tumor without anesthesia. Pain don’t hurt.
Where’s Wade Garret when you need him?
New post
I’ve only had pleasant experiences at Bed, Bath & Beyond. I like to dip my hands in the samples and rub over exposed part of my body and make little yipping sounds.
My skin is supple and silky smooth and it’s free. And the clerks huddle in one corner and don’t bother me.
Bed Bath and Beyond? Beyond what? They don’t have those mirrors, like in Orphée, that are portals to another world do they? Those things can be a real nuisance when you have a hangover.
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He looked tall, handsome and healthy.Just saw his photos on a celebrity and millionaire dating site called seekamillionaire.com. Don’t know if it is him.