The Tom Cruise parody I just put up reminded me of cults, and then FilmDrunkard Ohad sent me this – the trailer for The Moses Code movie.
As you can see from the trailer, and most likely from the seminar that will accompany any screenings, The Moses Code will change your life. Some other people learned about the Moses Code, and their lives have never been the same. You need to learn all about the Moses Code, because it will be like opening your eyes for the first time. They aren’t allowed to tell you what the Moses Code is because you won’t be able to understand it yet. The Moses Code is the world’s best-kept secret. That’s why when we talk about the Moses Code, we always lower our voices to a whisper.
I really want to find out what the code is so I can learn to teleport around the room like that – that shit’s crazy. The Moses Code must be like Jumper or something.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/257/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Wolverine-Tripod-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Morgan-Freeman-last-vegas-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/if-i-showed-you-all-the-money-shots-in-pacific-rim-youd-have-a-70-minute-orgasm-filmdrunk-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.fd.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/trailer-rapture-palooza-starring-craig-robinson-and-anna-kendrick-150x150.jpg)
The Moses Code was always leaving a necktie on the doorknob. That fucker got so much tang back in college.
The Moses Code cured my Impetigo, then gave my grandma the feline leukemia. The Moses Code giveth, and The Moses Code taketh away.
And I know what you’re thinking, but people can’t get feline leukemia? The Moses Code does not abide by the laws of science, you heathen.
This must be about those five commandments that Mel Brooks dropped.
Not to be confused with the ‘Moses Code, which states wearing white after Labor Day is punishable by death.
I use the Moses Code to secure my red luggage.
The black guy has dread locks like "Predator" so it must be true. Except when they showed Moses as being white. Everyone knows Moses was an old black slave you starts all phrases with "Yes Lordie".
The Moses Code was the Domino’s Noid.
I refuse to take spiritual advice from guys with nose rings or dreads unless they are selling me weed.
"What’s good today Raggae Ricky?"
"Da Acapulco Gold be slammun’ today mon."
True story: I was once forced to supervise a bunch of younger kids in a Bible class while the teacher was gone. Twenty minutes later, I had them all convinced there were 15 commandments but Moses dropped five, and the 11th commandment was, "Thou Shalt Not Dress Thy Pets in Man’s Attire."
They never asked me to watch those little bastards ever again.
I also don’t need some dude with a nose ring explaining beauty to me.
I prefer the Konami Code.
up down up down left right left right b a start
I’ve got hos in different Moses Codes.
That could’ve been funny and I fucked it up.
I don’t think Moses had a Nintendo. And I’m sure he wouldn’t cheat by using a code.
up up down down left right left right b a select start . . . dumbass
I live by the Calvin and Hobbes Code.
Also, I have in my hands right now, a dominos noid window doll
Say "swear" Eibz!
DON’T FUCK WITH ME! DON’T MAKE A FUCK OUTTA ME!
Moses and DaVinci are sitting up in heaven, talking. Hammurabi walks by:
Hammurabi: Hey fellas!
Moses: I fucking hate that guy!
I swear .
I bought it on Ebay 8 years ago
Did anyone else expect that lady to beam across the room and scare the shit out herself by running into a boob height lamp? Just me?
"Please send check or money order to…
Moses Code
PO Box 2343
Norfolk Virgina, 23501"
Nice pick-up Eibz.
AVOID THE NOID!
Ummm Lance I believe you’ve been negligent with your Sexman posting
Ironically, the Moses code is 1-2-3-4.
I think they’re more guidelines than a code.
Actually, The Moses Code – BOSCO.
The Moses Code is exactly the same as Morse Code, except with "Oy" and "Vey" replacing dots and dashes. For instance, S.O.S. is Oy Oy Oy, Vey Vey Vey, Oy Oy Oy.
The next time a building inspector gives me shit about my construction details, I’m gonna quote Moses Code section 6.2.33-a – Thou shall hold harmless the architect, for he is The Man.
1-2-3-4? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. That’s the kind of code an idiot would have on his luggage.
When I was a kid, I had a Moses Decoder Ring. Let me just say – Fuck kosher Ovaltine.
1-2-3-4? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. That’s the kind of code an idiot would have on his luggage.
Yeah!
*Pauly quickly changes pin number to bank account, voicemail access code on cell phone, alarm code on house, looks at luggage…*
Fuck it.
New up, Gents & Gentiles.
"are you ready to go deeper"…
how long until some mansion in the Valley decorated in the 80′s is rented out forthe epic Moses Load?
The Moses Code is my anti-drug.
Can’t wait for the sequel:
The Onan Code: Learning to Love Thyself
The Moses Code? Isn’t that The Ten Commandments?
OMG! Seriously, if Donny Osmond had dreads (or cornrows, hard to tell the difference sometimes) and was a black dude, he would totally be the dreaded cornrow guy (little play on words for you there! lol!) in this video. So is The Moses Code like the new age version of Mormonism?
You know what I hated about The Secret video? I kept waiting for the damn thing to start. It was like watching a 90-minute trailer for a program that would change your life. Everyone spoke in sound bites and they never really told you what the damn secret was! And there I was, like an idiot, with my paper and pencil, all ready to jot down the secret of The Secret. Man, that was humiliating. I’m gonna punch the friend that sent it to me right in the throat. Secret my ass…