Maya Rudolph, John Krasinski (Jim from The Office), and Cheryl Hines (the wife on Curb Your Enthusiasm) have signed on for an upcoming comedy to be directed by Sam Mendes (who previously directed American Beauty).
The as-yet untitled comedy from Focus Features is the first original screenplay written by husband and wife team Dave Eggers and Vendela Vida. Eggers, who recently adapted Where the Wild Things Are with Spike Jonze, is a well-known author, and editor of the quirky lit quarterly McSweeney’s. Vida is a novelist and the editor of The Believer.
You can learn about all this and more in my upcoming dissertation, I’m Smart, and Know Stuff About Things.
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Never mind guys, I found my goat.
I think the banner pic is one of those "if they mated" pictures. If these three celebrities had a kid, it would be Happy Goat. Also, if they had a child, it would be Happy Goat.
Maya Rudolph is the new female Lou Diamond Phillips. Is she Mexican, Japanese, Indian, Native American, Jewish? Nobody knows.
Dave Eggers also appeared in several episodes in the San Francisco season of the Real World.
She’s partially black, Luch. Her mom is Minnie Riperton.
So, at what point of grad school do I get invited out to Hollywood for a conga line of hookers and coke?
Lovin’ you, is easy cause you’re beautiful
John Krasinski, giving false hope to non-descript white guys everywhere.
She’s partially black, Luch. Her mom is Minnie Riperton.
Fuck you Mr. Anthropologist.
xo
There will be dick jokes, right?
Zog president Maya Rudolph fan club.
There will be dick jokes, right?
There will be blood!
Am I the only one who would rather chew my own leg off than be forced to see Cheryl Hines in anything?
If there’s blood in your dick jokes you may want to see a funny doctor.
Cheryl Hines’ face reminds me of Mason Verger from Hannibal.
This will be interesting to see 3 people who are only funny by association try and make a funny movie. I predict utter failure. And Cheryl Hines is not smart she went to my college. Trust me were stupid.
Partially black still equals completely guilty.
These three would make the worst Survivor Series team in history.
Yo, shit just got REAL!
That reminds me, I saw Hot Fuzz again last night. Funny shit…
"He’s not Judge Judy and Executioner!"
These three would make the worst Survivor Series team in history.
Burnsy, I would nominate that if it wasn’t for the fact that only five of us got it.
And Cheryl Hines is not smart she went to my college. Trust me were stupid.
Zog see what you mean.
fEK’LHR WORKS TODAY. aNGRY kLINGON fACE! >:(
fEK’LHR WORKS TODAY. aNGRY kLINGON fACE! >:(
As a graduate of the same university as Cheryl Hines, I take offense to that. Or maybe I don’t, I don’t get it.
U-C-F! U-C-F!
Umm… did the last thread wear everyone out?
In honor of Krasinski,
How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree?
I wore myself out trying to imagine having a threeway with Maya Rudolph and Cheryl Hines. In every scenario they just keep giggling when my dick falls off.
Wave.
Will Maya be nude? I hope so. I’d even see it if Krasinski were nude. But the lady from the Seinfeld and George Have Prostate Problems show is going to bang bears to make it interesting.
Cheryl Hines looks like what you’d get if you gave Sarah Jessica Parker horseface reduction surgery.
Burnsy, is that Soul Man?
Crap. I meant she’s going to have to bang bears. Stupid keyboard. I blame Dell.
Curious, what about this movie fascinated Lance enough to post this… when new Batman stills and how Chris Nolan plans to edit two face came out.
Ahem "I’m a nerd" cough
Right on, brother.
Hey remember that time I was talking about a super hero supply store? It’s McSweeeeeney’s.
You don’t remember? F YOU MAN
Or Heath Ledger forgetting his daughter and that boy from Dawson’s Creek in his will! HOW COULD YOU, HEATH?!?!
Curious, what about this movie fascinated Lance enough to post this… when new Batman stills and how Chris Nolan plans to edit two face came out.
Oh, that’s probably because RoboPanda didn’t tip him off Soylent. He can be a stinker that way. Lance, not Robo. Robo is cool. Lance is a square.
These three would make the worst Survivor Series team in history.
Maybe, but if they added the brother from Earl as a fourth funny by association they’d make one hell of a Fall Brawl team.
Hey Michelle, does that place sell real superhero supplies or is it just from a
graphic novpicture book for retards?I think Lance is phoning it in today…somebody has a new girlfriend/boyfriend there internet stalking today.
(Lance thinking to himself, Google Earth hard to work with GIANT thumbs need to find his/her house to take pictures and masterbate outside window).
Wait that’s me.
Maybe, but if they added the brother from Earl as a fourth funny by association they’d make one hell of a Fall Brawl team.
If funny by association is the requirement, we (filmdrunkards) could field our own Royal Rumble.
Except the Giant thumbs part…I’m not a friggin mongoloid.
P.S. I never spell masturbate correctly AND NEVER WILL!
Most of the time I don’t even masturbate correctly. *Lefty loosy, righty tighty*
Erswi, they do sell "real" stuff. Only sell Eggers and his cronies books though. Lots of well designed cans of invisibility spray and x-ray glasses stuff.
Stupid blogger. Rudolph was made with stop-motion animation, not a CGI modeler like Maya.
I’m looking for somebody that sells good quality superhero costumes for an upcoming party. Anyone have any leads on that (he asked as if he didn’t know he was in a room full of nerds).
[hero-gear.net]
I am not a nerd.
mostly
That’s alright Eib. We love ya anyway.
Hey…I didn’t say anything.
Eib, that’s awesome but they don’t have anything in early Rebel Alliance (that was all said with a debilitating lisp)
Thanks guys. Aw shucks
Do the Planeteers count as superheroes? I mean, they all had rings that gave them super powers (except for that poor little South American "Heart" bastard).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like to dress like a russian girl and shout "weeeeend" whenever I fart…
uh-I’m bored and in lieu of working I Durst all of you…I mean curse all of you.
This post Dursted before anyone posted on it. But b/c Lance (doesn’t care about us)tried I give him this: "3 join Dave Eggers" and become Voltron.
Can you claim a kid from Africa you bought for 75 cents a day on your taxes?
Instead of 3 Dave Eggers I’d settle for one Nicole Eggert. Preferably pre-gonnorhea. I mean me, not her.
Well, its a slow news Monday. Ok, trainwrecks of Hollywood (no, not the ones on the corner), get to killing yer selves so that we might discuss it.
Donkey Hodey "Do the Planeteers count as superheroes?"
I think they just grow peanuts and go around looking at people meniacly through their monacle. But the top hat is always a cool touch.
Trainwrecks of Hollywood would be a great name for a Vegas strip club
Do they have trains in Hollywood? I mean, aside from the ones that get pulled on Lindsey Lohan.
Funny, I’m Smart, and Know Stuff About Things sounds like the title of something that asshole Eggers would write. Copyright that title, Lance, or that fuckhead will probably steal it.
In other news, Burnsy just cracked me up.
So I’m guessing that Lance blew his wad early and now he’s done for the day? Sounds just like me last night. What? No it doesn’t! Who said that?
Can I get a napkin, please?
That’s not mustard on your pants is it Jack?
Oh man did it get comatose in here. I expect Chod to walk in any second now in his yellow track shorts and pink sparkly tube top and start shuffling back and forth singing She Bangs She Bangs under his breath while a lone tear falls from his cheek. Chod = sad zombie stripper
*Jack quickly backs out of the room in his yellow track shorts and pink sparkly tube top, hoping no one has seen him*
*Lights dim, slow song begins to play. Chodin finishes his giant pretzel, laces up his rollerskates and hits the floor for the “couples only” session. *
Hi guys….
*Chodin stands alone on the skating rink floor.*
Ah, balls…
S’up Chodey? Didn’t know you were the roller disco type. Looking good in those sparkly shorts.
*nom points at chodin*
Hey guys, look at the loser!
*nom begins to have a seizure, no one does anything, although erswi’s parents start shooting video*
* “She Bangs” begins to play. A lone tear falls from Chodin’s cheek.*
I’ll roller dance with ya Chod. Nobody puts baby in a corner.
I’d rollerskate but I only have 1 foot
I’d rollerskate but I only have 1 foot
WOW! Now I have 2 foots!
I can put on my LOLerskates now.
I can put on my LOLerskates now.
Goddamn. That’s just the kind of line that’s gonna get me fired.
*Chodin pulls out his inhaler, shakes it and goes to inhale – Pauly swings in and snatches the inhaler, shakes it twice and then hits that shit.*
Goddamn. That’s just the kind of line that’s gonna get me fired.
Well, quit jacking off to what I say, Bubb.
I cannot skate. Insert sad face emoticon here —>
Has anyone else mentioned the fact that Maya Rudolph, John Krasinski, and Cheryl Hines all have really extreme facial features? It looks like Victor Frankenstein was just fucking around with Mr. Potato Head parts.
Chodin pulls out
his inhaler, shakes it and goes to inhale Paulyswingsin and snatchesthe inhaler, shakesit twice and then hits that shit.*Fixed Homos
erswi, here ya’ go hombre:
“sad, sideways, winking face with a dick shooting jizz on top”
8=D- – -;(
soylent: stop watching us, faggot.
*Pauly skates with Chodin in his arms to "Always and Forever", notices that Soylent is watching, pushes Chodin away quickly*
Get off me Fagosexual!
It’s NOT GAY IF YOU WATCH! Now you kiss him on the neck, yeah like that now bite him a little I SAID A LITTLE!
Wait this is how Chris Hansen caught me last time. You guys gotta tell me if your cops!
hellooooooo Chris Hansen come out come out wherever you are….I know your here at the roller rink Chris Hansen. Come Out! I KILL YOU!
I’m Smart, and Know Stuff About Things.
That’s what I say to pick up girls at the Middle School.
“I’m violent and will choke you out.”
That’s what I say to pick up girls at the Middle School.
Roller Disco is always gay. I could prove it on an Etch-a-Sketch
My pick up line at the Middle School…
Hey, yeah you hey you uh, you like to party? No it means do you like to get high, yeah you can come a little closer, now get in the van GET IN THE GODDAMN VAN!
This is what I used to say to my little sister when I would pick her up at school, but only if her friends were with her.
Needless to say in adulthood were not close. But I did bang some of her friends in highschool. DRUGS
NOTEqual Hugs!Lil sis’ friends give good head
I never had a lil’ sis…but I did have a dog.
*Chodin shows up to the dog park with his mutt. The dog is wearing sunglasses, lipstick, a wig is tied to it’s head and on it’s feet are four different shoes.*
Chodin: “What’s up bitches!?”
Until later dicktuckers.
Would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me so hard!
It’s sweet, the lil sis sets it up almost sub-consciously, like "Oh. my big bro is like sooooo cool" then within 5 minutes of meeting you, you crack off one joke to one of her friends then they wanna blow you.
Pauly…is this is the part where you tell us that your sister is 16 months old?
Yeah, I guess I’m ou too. *bitches*
Would you fuck me? (NO, pretty sure your a dude or live in my computer)
I’d fuck me. (someone loves you *golf clap*)
I’d fuck me so hard (awe, that’s so sweet)
And…is this the part where someone asks, “what the fuck does ‘is this is’ mean?”
My pickup line at the middle school? "I’ll make your No-No spot say ‘Yes…YES!!" Just writing that was a parole violation.
No, because at 16 months, all you have to do is wiggle those Playskool "My First Set of Keys" in front of their face and they’ll suck something.
That can’t be the last comment.
Hey Pauly, your durst is showing.
You know, I just don’t think that I could ever date a chick who’s in a theater performance of “The Color Purple”.
That remind me of a funny story Chod:
Today I was talking with a customer, she was kinda hot and she kept looking towards my cock area. I caught her glancing at least 4 times. Then I look down to see what she was looking at, and I have a 2 inch hole on the crotch of my khakis. To ease the tension, I just said "Good thing I wore underwear today" and gave her a little wink.
I’m so fuckin’ smooth like that
Pauly, you shuld have squinted your eyes and real seductively said, “excuse me but…are you looking at my dicks? “
f.y.i. – my clock is still all fucked up from the time change; i’ll be funny in one hour.
I think that’s why she glanced 4 times. 1 for each nut and 1 for each dick.
Pauly, I like to think that our dursting alone forced Lance to “update” the Ice Age thread…2 dicks and 16 month old babies, what more could a post ask for?
Relevance? What the fuck is ‘relevance’?
Well if 2 dicked, 16 month old babies are taboo here, where can you speak about it?
*Pauly googles local clubs for open mic poetry slams*
*Chodin clears throat, admires his audience.*
Chodin: “Babies…dick one and dick two. Know what? I’d like to try that dick too-”
*Customers begin to stand up and leave the IHOP.*
*Customers begin to stand up and leave the IHOP.*
*Pauly gets up only to start eating off of people’s plates that were left behind*
*Pauly yells with a mouth full of hamburger and onion rings*
I love the Monster Burger!
ROOOOOWWRRR!
*Chodin sprints over to an empty table. He tightens the drawstrings around both ankles of his sweatpants- begins to grab plates and pour them down the front of his pants.*
I hope my friends at STDromance.com will see the movie
If they don’t die from advanced HIV disease, you room temp CUNT!
….Aaaaaannnd Scene. Well played, gentlemen. Well played.