03.31.08 2 NEW POSTERS FOR ‘THE FALL’

Have you ever seen The Pirncess Bride……..on weeeeed?

"I will help you, but first let me casually brush away this annoying white dove that likes to perch upon my right shoulder."

 (Brush. Flapping.)

 "Okay.  I’m ready."

I heard that Roland Emmerich loaned Tarsem his Wooly Mammoths for this film.

That’s fucking teamwork. 

I think the trailer would have been better if it started with "Do you like movies about gladiators?" or "Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?"

What the fuck can Darwin bring to the table in this film? 

"You just wait, in about 50,000 years, this pachyderm I’m swimming with will be 10% smaller due to it’s lack of steady food supply, thus allowing it to do handstands in the Mexican Circus that comes to your State Fair." 

I heard that they mainly gave out Morphine to injured people just to shut them up and go to sleep.

 Now I wish they would hand it out whenever MTV has a movie in the theaters.

From here on out, I’m keeping a little chubby Mexican kid dressed exactly like me, around all the time. His name shall be Filiberto.

Can i fuck Filiberto? Could i get Filiberto to run some errands?

Chuck, I can get you a good on little beaners. This week they’re half-off. Just depends what half you wan’t

WAKKA-WAKKA-WAKKA

*Pauly spins, takes hat off and bows then gets hit in the face with a tamato*

Damn Charlie!  Are the chicks in your avatar from Double Dragon?  More importantly, do they like doing the double draggin’?

No, but seriously, I can get you kid, good price.

Why did I come back from lunch talking like a Russian immigrant?

It was probably all the White Russians you had FOR lunch, Pauly.

When did Roger Ebert get the prefix of "magnificent"?

Oh no. No White Russians for me, Al. The milk will only have me ‘Russian’ to the can. NO CAN DO.

Vodka, Red Bulls.

See now, this is what I hate about kids. They think Jessica Alba is a great actress, and they can barely speak English.

What I hate about kids is when they won’t sleep when you’re trying to "make Mommy’s kitty purr".

"There were five of them: the Indian, the ex-slave, the explosives expert, Charles Darwin, and the masked (something). They had one common enemy."

Sounds like the plot of Ocean’s Fourteen.

Jacktion!

Eibmoz!

If Double Dragon is in Sweden, then maybe. Roger Ebert, you magnificent bastard. Y’know, i like the idea of having a sidekick. I had a lucky apricot once but a sniper got it.* 

*Bob Mortimer line. 

Are we playing Duck, Duck, Goose?

The sequel to this movie will be called The Spring, and it will be about a guy who tells a story about a Slinky that only walks up stairs.

I was practicing for later

I don’t like those posters. I feel like Jason Schwartzman is staring at me.