WEEKEND PREVIEW: SEMI-SERIOUS
02.29.08
Opening This Weekend:
Semi Pro
I’m actually thinking of seeing this. I mean, look at that poster – what else do you need to know? It’s both an Afro-disiac and the greatest ‘fro on Earth. Someone should ‘fro their marketing department into a volcano. Anyway, I’m sure there’ll be at least three or four moments of genuine laughter in between attempts at self-harm.
The Other Boleyn Girl
Someone gets their head chopped off in this, right? I hope so, because I ain’t sitting through shit like this without that kind of promise.
Penelope
Aw, no one likes poor Christina Ricci because she has a pig nose. She can’t find anyone to love her until one day, someone notices that her tits are huge. Did I mention she was sexually assaulted by a chimp on the set of this movie? Also: EW grades it an F. Sounds like a winner!
The Chicago 10
A recreation of historical events using stock footage and that creepy animation from Waking Life. Getting okay reviews. I say: Meh?
City of Men
Sequel to City of God (probably one of my top ten favorite movies) from a different director. Uh oh. Sounds like a watered-down version of the original. Then again I don’t mind drinking whiskey with a little water now and then. Is that a good analogy? Who cares, I’m drunk.
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I don’t like Sexman.
I LOVE him.
You can smell the urine in the subways from that picture…ahhh it’s almost spring.
Seriously there was pee all over the subway this morning and a 3 year old yelling FLAVER FLAAAAVVV the whole way, and then a fist fight at the fruit cart where the train stops. That shit ain’t ripe.
PATH > subway
LIAR!!
I didn’t think I would ever have a movie not interest me as much as Beowulf didn’t. I stand corrected.
Looks like Jack’s found his nemesis.
parkway < DRIVEWAY
Fight over better mass transit types = gayest flame war ever.
Oh wait, it is Jacktion! Self correction complete.
Looks like Jack’s already awarded himself with the internet feud championship medal.
I have no idea what you’re talking about Stone.
I have every idea what you are speaking of Stone.
Don’t change your avatar on me like that.
That’s it. CRIPPLE FIGHT!
That’s not my avatar, Stone.
Besides, I only use gold medals. My giant ego demands gold only.
Its the elusive Jacktion? like he is wondering if he’s funny. He isnt
I’m going to lie down.
Hey, Stone, which hand do you "Lie down" with?
I saw a sneak preview of Semi-Pro Tuesday night and thought it was pretty good. i was more interested in getting my date to try to get the popcorn from the bottom of the bucket because i had cut a hole in it and put my penis through it, so i could be wrong about this being pretty good.
Jack, how’s the rectum? (BTW, luvved the GEICO blip.)
Eib-you know who’s funny? Sexman.
Semi Pro: Semi Fuck No
The Other Boleyn Girl: The Big Titted Chick and That Naked Babe With the Bruises
Penelope: Penelopiss In My Eyes, I’d Rather
The Chicago 10: Falling Asleep: The Movie
City of Men: Where All Da’ White Bitches At ???
i was more interested in getting my date to try to get the popcorn from the bottom of the bucket because i had cut a hole in it and put my penis through it
Dude…your mom?
Hey, Stone, which hand do you "Lie down" with?
Seven, Two – offsuit. Every fucking time.
I love that monchhichi.
Mom’s kind of gullible.
Thanks for explaining the new, innovative Popcorn trick, Kurgan.
Or maybe UNO? Hmmm?
Kurg, are you my brother? Have I asked this before?
<slow clap for SS>
slow clap for the "7 duck off" line. Poker much?
Fek, do you have a scar the shape of a mushroom at the top of the crack of your ass?
<slow clap for SS>
Thanks – for the hold ‘em reference, or being a prick to Kurgan?
I watched Phil Hellmuth win a huge pot with seven-two offsuit on High Stakes Poker last night.
I like Penelope. I like how her nose looks like somebody tried to punch it through the back of her face. But you know, she desevered it. Next time daddy says to scrub out all of her dirty parts. He means it.
It really is true what he says, "If it wasn’t for luck, I’d win every hand."
You were a prick to me? if i had thrown in the line about the extra butter and then read your reply maybe i’d have gotten that feeling, but i didn’t.
Ah, you can’t be my brother. We have a code word for "mushrooms".
Good. I’ll try harder next time.
I don’t play that much poker anymore. I got bored playing with the same group every couple weeks. We all knew each others tells and playing styles, so a tourney would last all fucking night.
Fek, how about teeth marks on your taint from a piledriver gone wrong?
I don’t play poker for the opposite reason I’m always sucking dick: I’m horrible at it.
Will Ferrell is making a baking movie called Semi-Sweet.
::Jack sits back and waits for the pun war to start::
A good title for a movie about Optimus Prime falling in love would be Sweet Semi.
I thought Semi-Pro was about a truck stop lot lizard…
Nice try, pun-monkey! I won’t fall for your silly pun games!
I thought City of Men was the sequel to Children of Men, which would rock balls. Whatev. City of God was good too, at least.
Will Ferrell is working on a new movie with Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill about a lack-luster, Three Stooges impersonation troupe. Semi-Moe opens wide, August ’09.
They should make a movie with Emilio Esteves where trucks come alive and try to kill him. They could call it Semi Truck.
pun wars have to be natural, you cant force them Jack. Its like trying to force your semi hard dick in your girlfriend. wont work, and its kinda icky
They can do a movie about enemas.
Semi Colon
Hugh Jackman is working on a new film where he plays a sexually confused tough-guy. Semi-Fem opens wide on National Quilting Day, ’09
Will is working on a comedy based on the life of Leopold Stokowski’s brother Jonas, called Semi-Conductor
What about a movie based on my ex-girlfriend: Pro-Ho ?
Pauly, me and the entire Arizona State campus could play ourselves- everyone she’s fucked.
Will Ferrell stars as a monk who refuses to cut off his jewfro, so the Monsignor switches his shampoo for a depilatory. Semi Nairy, coming Spring 2009.
Optimus Prime joins the army in
Semi Private
Will Ferrel stars as a fly by night hairdresser in Semi Permanent
The Other Boleyn Girl: Semi-Ho
Penelope: Semi-Sow
The Chicago 10: Semi-Protest
City of Men: Semi-Blow
What’s that about how you can’t force a pun war, Eib?
but see, I said that Jack, but included the use of semi in the sentence.
Clerks at a gas station work part time.
Semi Circle K
What about a BTK/Dahmer movie: The Other Boiling Girl ?
And, I am a sheep. SHEEP!!!
Oh, I forgot to mention, Abe Vigoda plays the Monsignor. I changed my avatar to the Jesus Fish in his honor.
Adolph Hitler and Will Ferrel make Jew jokes:
Anti-Semitism- Opens June 6th.
A thrilling tale of maritime communications, Semi-Phore opens wide, Pearl Harbor Day ’11.
Will Ferrell tries to orchestrate a land grab to open a Florida casino in Semi Nole.
Will Ferrell as a retarded Beatles fan in Semi Am.
** grabs giant cone hat, goes to sit in the corner **
Will Ferrell is a test pilot during the cold war who struggles to beat his buddy Chuck Yeager (Steve Carrell) to be the first to break the sound barrier. Semi-Sonic opens wide Veteran’s Day ’09.
Jessica Simpson stars in the autobiographical Semi Retarded
My ex-wife stars in a sad tale of lies and infidelity. Semi-Married opens wide Valentine’s Day ’12
Will Ferrell stars as Chief Redbull-Jagermeister in Seminole Winds.
Sorry Peet. I just posted mine before reading everyone else’s. Shit.
Alexis Arquette stars in the tale of a pre op tranny Semi Femi
bryce stars in the pathetic quest of a loser to try and maintain an erection for more than 30 seconds while trying to bang old ugly chicks… Semi-Hard opens in your Mom’s bedroom today!
Not in my Moms bedroom Bryce. She was cremated,that would give you one hell of a rash
Right bird rapists! I’m out of my cage for the weekend and hitting the surf. Laters.
Better lock your door then Eib
;-)
oooh!
I havent raped a bird in weeks. Ive been going to Birds Anonymous.
Better lock your back door then Eib.
FIXED.
Will Ferrell flies to Pisa to compete in a pasta eating contest in Semi Lean’a.
Will Ferrell stars as an actor whose unusual looks limit him to quirky supporting roles in Steve BuSemi.
m night shamalayn present Semiotics
Ellen Page plays a plucky lesbian with a turkey baster in In Semi Nation
I guess its just us Stinky. Wanna make out?
Ashton Kutcher’s girlfriend becomes a ProActiv spokesperson in Demi Pro.
Well, since I am alone, I guess i will just prance around naked and touch myself. wooooooooooo
Concerned kitten sees Gabita’s fetus as Semi-Stillborn
Too much? Not enough?
BTW, if you bear hug a pregnant woman, will the baby shoot out like a cannon ball?
Will Ferrell stars as a man who gets facial spasms in the presece of Jews.
SemiTic opening Christmas 2009!
I don’t think so, but if you butt-fuck ‘em like a jackhammer, you’ll get shit on your dick.
How’d we forget Will Ferrell fighting male pattern baldness in Semi Fro?
Now that I think about it, I don’t think being pregnant has anything to do with it….
J-I never travel the Hershey Highway without wearing golashes. Period.
I think we broke it Fek.
We usually do. :(
I think I will go watch that nekkid French chick get raped some more.
A group of odd ball students band togather to pass a truck driving test given by a hard nosed instructor in this years fuck your face comedy in; Semi Finals!
Will Ferrell doesn’t acts irresponsibly and gets his myspace account phished.
Semi-Computer Literate
Never enter your account details unless you see myspace.login.com as the address at the top of the screen.
Will Ferrell stars as the manager of a sperm bank who has to personally replace thousands of specimens he’s accidentally rendered sterile in a bizarre microwave accident. Semi Null Fluid, this summer. We’re all pulling for you, Will!
Will Ferrell doesn’t acts irresponsibly and gets his myspace account phished.
Sorry. That was supposed to be:
"Will Ferrell acts irresponsibly and gets his myspace account phished"
I was in the middle of selling account information to Pizza Hut, and I wasn’t paying attention.
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Tom)
A happy go lucky group of BTKers try to keep up an old bet of a murder every six months, in this shit and blood covered jizz dripping cock rocking hijinx filled comedy from the makers of Meat the Geriatrics; Semi Annual! It’ll slay you!
Can Semianal be just the tip? (to see if
heshe likes it)Dolph Lundgren is Semi Circumcized!
Dolph Lundgren is Blind Fury!
Fek - So I know this is a couple of days late, but I don’t know if anyone responded to your brilliant question about the female pee shivers. Instead of finding where you posted it before, I’ll just tell you now: yes we do.
Sassy, I don’t want our first official inter-personal communique to go poorly, but what in Kahless’ Krusty Kummel are you talking about?
Ah, I might have the wrong person. See, I knew I should have gone back to look.
<Tapping foot to Captain Jack by Billy Joel. Decides to get some H and "stay at home and masturbate">
w00t! Friday starts the weekend!!!!
Oh, that was Chodin. Soo..uh…sorry for that (insult?)
That was wierd fek. Lucky! You have a confused stalker!
Just when you thought he was long dead and gone, your favorite wonky eyed negro is back and funnier than ever: Semi Davis Jr.
Well honestly, who wouldn’t stalk Fek after one look at that avatar.
Sassy, no need to apologize. I might have gone my whole life not
caringknowing if women get piss shivers.Sassy, you avatar has the exact same look my
wifefirst girlfriend had on her face when I put my finger up her ass for the first time. Except she had bigger ears.Where do you think I got the idea?
*Chodin sits in his office, suddenly his ears perk up*
Did somebody say pee shivers!?!
I can figure out what it is that Will does to me. Many of his jokes make me want to use his face to curb stomp a horny pit bull. Some of the others get me laughing because I’m thinking about feeding him aborted AIDS baby fetus gumbo. The about three times an hour I actually laugh at his "comedy". I know, wierd.
You know what’s great? Masturbating to "deleted" myspace pictures.
Blood sugar dropping… spelling and grammar… dying….
You know what else is great? Being me.
ICEMAN ALERT!!! ICEMAN ALERT!!!! HE’S TAKING A SHIT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!
…sadly in the staff bathroom, not in my mouth.
You know what’s cool? I would avoid each and every one of you in public.
chod-but you are in the stall next to him, masturbating, right?
It fucking blew my mind when I saw a prono with a black guy and he shot out WHITE jizz! Whoda thunk?
THen again, I was only like 6 at the time…
What I don’t understand is, when a guy gets a girl pregnant, they stab the fetus to death with a coathanger. Why doesn’t the guy just stab the girl to death with a knife? It’s like two birds with one stone!
Will goes to India with Natalie Portman in Semi-Nude, but not really. Ever.
::chodin burst through bathroom wall::
Dude, Ice——-man. Would you sign my taint? My roommate is never gonna believe that I met you unless you do. Yeah I’m fuckin’ serious. My taint. Sign it. Don’t make me wipe your ass. Cuz I’ll do it.
ah hewd dat shechmon dush rilly goot adim schanleh umpweshunz!
ah hat tah sheet awl fakkin day!
my thoughts exactly Ricky.
FUCKING CHRIST!!!! It’s just not meant to be (my dick and his asshole)…seriously, it’s just not in the cards (for my dick to be in his asshole). It’s just never going to happen (my dick in his asshole)…
R I C K Y !
Y O U D U R S T E D T H E F U C K I N G T H R E A D , Y O U P I G F U C K E R !!!!
i think i dursted it, and it’s my very first post…damnit!
Ricky, speak the fuck up!
Ricky in FilmDrunk Semi-coherent
Is Ricky speaking a foreign language?
… or was that some sort of prelude to "kd;wekj meetrichjackasses.com" dkj;eija s kd;a"?
I think he’s got that extra Y chromosome
you know the condition where they all look the same? I believe it’s known as …asian? I may be wrong on this one
No, that condition is known as "male". But only because I never bother looking at their faces.
Sub female for male and we’re on the same page AL.
Sub "non-corporate entity" in, and I’m with both of you.
Conglomerates are my BFFs!
add some erotic aspyhixiation and we’re talking about my regular tuesday night!
Which side of the necklace do you have Tom?
The BE
FRI
or the EST
ENDS?
Tom…you’ll never be my friend.
Some one left the door open and i’m making a brake for it.
See you monday D-bags.
*Chodin salutes SuckMe*
with his dick.
Some one left the door open and i’m making a brake for it.
Are you hoping to "stop" that door from ever opening again, SMB?
So the two halves together say
"BE EST"
"FRI ENDS"
I hope you spell better than that on your myspace page. I don’t need mouth-breathers like you making my baby look bad.
Tom is my beest friend, also known as the guy with the chickens I like to fuck!
Tom is my only friend. Which is creepy since I don’t have a MySpace.
I deleted tom AND soon after i deleted MySpace… coincidence?
True story: my buddy greg picks up 16 year olds on MySpace (he’s 22)
Well I don’t know where you live, donut, but in Canada, anything over 17 is nice and legal (I know this because… I just know things). So maybe tell your pal greg to bump it up a year.
Yeah that’s right, I’m still at work, meanwhile you guys are all out having dinner together somewhere. My timezone sucks.
I’m still working Al…Pizza Hut don’t close for another long while.
I’m a canuck myself… and he preys on those weird emo kids you see in the mall who look like anorexic clowns
Let me get that Cruchy Cheesy Crust Pizza, Chodin.
Nigga hungrier than a mu fucka.
I’m still working, too, Al. And it’s raining. Boo.
I’m still working too. FUCKING SUCKS
But I do have some tasty Dos Equis Amber to quench my cottonmouth. That’s the only "Amber" I’s fuck with because, one, fuck cock blocking ass Amber Alert, and two, Amber sounds like a fat chicks name.
Yes I meant "I’s"
my girlfriend’s name is Amber…aww shit you’re right!
Pauly, you want to eat that pizza “off” of my ass, or “out” of my ass?
chuch.
XX’s Ambar , I’ll go get some on the way home too
I’m still working too. Being Nominus is a full time job, and I’m on call 24-7.(24 seconds an hour, 7 minutes a week)
BOOSH!! im gonna leave 5 mins early today, im crazy like that ese!!
Bex is insane in the membrane
Ha ha! I have been home for an hour drinking
and playing D&D!I’m working too……
On an Alcohol coma
BOOM! Then I saw this video of Joe Rogan chewing out some fat broad! BOOSH!
Say you wanted to go as Boo Radley for Holloween – what exactly would you need?
Have you guys ever fucxking seen where fucking internet dweebs (chinks) like "live blog" their whole fucking day?
All you would ahve to do is copy and paste over and over:
I am sitting in flont of my compute-ah brogging evely fucking minute of my day!
FUCK!
AH SO!
Eibmoz
And, I am a sheep. SHEEP!!!
And, I am a New Zealander. KIWI!!!
Have we had this fucking conversation before?
I sked an Australian once if he was a Kiwi…he was FUCKING PISSED!!!!!!!
Is "SK’ed" anything like "BTK’ed"?
One time I was playing pool with a brit and I called him a redcoat. He looked at me confused.
In Aussie, a kiwi is a sheep fucker.
Cause there’s so many sheep! 100 to 1. Of course they’re gonna tap some of that sweet sheep ass.
And by sweet sheep ass…only if they look like Eib.
In the future everyone gets their questions ” sked”.
Carna, who the fuck are you, and what the fuck is your damage?
Well if THAT doesn’t scare him off, nothing will Fek. Hell I’M ducking for cover and I’m not even in the line of fire (today. Yet.)
brain I’m guessing (why am I still here ??? )
hurrah! two dursts in one day! and it’s my first day! I’d be fired for incompetence if this was a job!
I have nothing to say about any of this crap except to say I forgot it was the weekend and everything I posted in the earlier threads will never be read. Durst.
I have to say,I like this Carna person! Back of guys. ;)
of is the new off, by the way. if you dont know that you are so yesterday
In Soviet Russia questions sked you.
In Aussie, a kiwi is a sheep fucker.
A Kiwi once called my friend’s cowboy boots "Python-skinned winkle pickers." He also called Bernie Mac "the funniest man alive".
I think we sked everyone away. so sad
Why so hostile Fek? A new person can’t post? NAZI!
Lance, that Kiwi was just fucked up.
I stood up for you, Carna
We welcome the newish types around here. Keep us on our toes
I know Eib, I love you.
Eib, as long as it’s only the guys you want to "back of". Cuz I have you slated for the third round of the pillow fight tomorrow, and I’m your opponent. Erswi’s the prize.
You can’t prize people Al… that’s called slavery.
I’m down with slavery. I want to play for Zog, though, because I’m sick like that.
Good thing you’re in the ring with AGB immediately after Eib and I then, Chino. It’s an open-ended prize and you just called it. Since AGB isn’t into slavery… I’d say that’s a slam dunk?
Did I just accidentally sorta bring this back to the Will Ferrell topic at hand? Holy shit I’m good.
Erswi is the prize? Expect an ass whooping Al. I. will. drink. your. milkshake.
I mean that in the friendliest girly way possible
the end
I. will. drink. your. milkshake
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
Sorry, not exactly my genre, but I can’t think of any metal songs that reference milkshakes.
Empty Shamrock Shake container :(
I think I am just off because it is that time of the month. And by that I mean it’s Leap Day. I fucking hate Leap Day.
metal songs? Whos your favorite band, Chino?
System of a Down, my lady.
I do love, love, love me some Pantera, too. You are from Texas, right? Is it not a law to love them down there?
You guys think you can discuss metal music without me? WTF? Best band currently is Machine Head. Pantera is always classic shit, dimebag was a genius and is a guitar god. Mutherfucking TOOL!!
Love some TOOL
My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
Those boys will be disappointed. Because I. Drank. Your. Milkshake.
Man, I loved me some Incubus before they became Incubus light.
Jack knows what he is talking about, that’s for sure. Incubus did used to be better, back before they got mainstream exposure.
yes, I would trust Jack on all things musical.
Confidential to everyone: Leap Year, Bitch!!!
Eib, I swear to God I might be drunk, but I just read "I would thrust Jack on all things".
I hate fucking leap year. But you are right on Tool. Also, I am digging on Puscifer. Maynard is The Man!!
She would
n’tbe the first.… and I just turned myself on a bit with my own misunderstanding. Carry on.
Pat Boone’s "In a Metal Mood" kicks all your favorite metal bands to into a fucking ditch with ET and insults their nonsensible shoes that were not purchased from the Haband catalog.
Branson reprezent! B to the R to the A to the N . . . oh shit that reminds me I gotta take my metamucil. Can’t be shirkin’ the ‘mucil, knowwhatimsayin?
Incubus was good in the beginning. I bought Light Grenades and I swear, I listened to it once. Not even the whole album.
the doors are playing here tonite, actually i think theyre called riders on the storm, its manzarek and the guitarrest i think, and the singer is the dude from fuel, so that should be a concert full of durst
Chino, Maynard is the man. One of the few lead singers that is irreplacable. IMRO
Maynard can do no wrong. Word.
Next time I do Al, I will send you the movie.
I am almost sure this cat commited suicide from shame
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/566171148.html
Didn’t the Doors have Ian Astbury for a while? He is a Jim Morrison wannabe. But he was smokin’.
yeah its the guy from Fuel now, and he doesnt sound like morrison so thats gonna be weird, never really been a doors fan, i like maybe 2 to 3 songs from them, now if it were Creedence, I’d be there
Oh I wish I could contribute but I’m just a big hair 80′s band Crue/Ratt/Slayer chick. Being old and formerly
slightlynot cool sucks.Chevelle, anyone?
Well, Al, we are in the same boat. O
Don’t kid yourself, Al. Slayer rocks. And Ratt had Warren DiMartini so that has to count for something.
Does anyone else think that one album by the Four Horsemen kicked ass? Cuz I still listen to it.
ANd if you don’t know who Rose Tatto is…. then you’re probably in the majority.
The Four Horsemen? Did they bite the heads off bats or anything like that?
That was Ozzy. And possibly Gene. But I’m sure they had some antics all their own.
Any Kiss Army members here?
Slayer? Holy shit lady! There is almost nothing less mainstream than that. I’m surprised! Surprised and impressed!
I don’t care for Kiss. I respect what they did but, I’m sorry, their musicianship blew. IMHO,,,dang, I just used WorldWideWeb lingo!
I’m in the Kiss Navy. Does that count?
True story time: My husband and I sat 9th row for a KISS concert the night before we got married.
Eib, I just emailed that page to my entire family. Hats on cats? Yes, family, hats on cats. Hats on cats is where it’s at, aristocrats.
[Diablo Cody wrote this post for me and all I had to do was shove a Susan B. Anthony dolla in her gooch.]
Ther is Kiss’s problem. 9th row. There was no floor. Right Chino?
I sat in the 30th row of a Pink Flloyd concert in ’88 and got totally stoned without smoking a thing.
Yeah, well, Ice Cube made direct eye contact with me. And I smoked up with Gwar on their tour bus. And Robb Flynn Gave me a Jack and Coke.
Yeah, well, I sucked bigfoot’s dick before it was cool.
The coke was great, but the jack….well, draw your own conclusions.
Ther is Kiss’s problem. 9th row. There was no floor. Right Chino?You are spot on. If there is no mosh pit, it is not a true show. I fell to the floor in an old school Metalica show. Thought I was gonna die.
You have hung with Gwar and Machine Head?? What’s the dealio, yo? Who are you, really??
Better – in the mosh pit, balancing on TWO guys’ shoulders when they dropped the "money" out of the "sky" for the Money Talks ACDC concert.
Dude, don’t knock the Jack. Do you know how long it takes me to fill one of those bottles up? I can only make a shot at a time.
I am nominus, duh. Also, I kicked it with chad from mudvayne(helll yeah) before mudvayne even had their first album. Talked to cory of slipknot the same day, he looked like a redneck.
being born in 1986… I somehow am a huge crue fan
I met John Mayer once, that was pretty sweet I guess. he’s an incredible guitarist and gets the ladies all hot and bothered, which works out well for me in the end.
There used to be pits at They Might Be Giants shows. Some people will mosh whenever they have enough room. Seriously, who moshes to Particle man?
But deftones, on the other hand, I actually had a backstage pass for them. Never got to see them at all. Apparently, some rockstars only want to meet hot, sexy women. Whoda thunked it?
The only "rockstar" I ever got to hang out with was the drummer from
John Mayer has a huge head. I just can’t get past that.
Nom, changed the avatar. Note the mic cord wrapped firmly around the wrist, just like you
hatelove.my hubby smoked a blunt with coolio in his limo when he played at his college.
FYI, when I was on gwars bus, my friend traded them some kind buds for a comic book.
it’s sad that Gwar is nothing more than a bunch of business men with alter egos in tights and foam… hmmm oh shit BATMAN!!!
The cool thing about deftones in concert is how the crowd flows, and flows toward chino. It is beautiful, and never seen another concert behave in remotely the smae way.
Right on! I saw Chris Cornell at the Seattle Science Center with his daughter but I was too nervous to say anything. He was really skinny (blech) I swear, I also say Daron Malakian at Disneyland over Thanksgiving weekend. Again, too nervous to say anything.
oh yeah. Well my husband got a lap dance from Ditta Von Teese
Of course they flow toward me! Have you seen me?!?
but he says back then she was just known as Dita.
Oh I see I never finished my thought. Just as well, but I will now anyway – The Pretenders. Yes, he’s indrecibly old now. I’m watching hockey so I’m easily distracted.
I’ve seen DBX, which is the three of the guys from Gwar without the shtick.
Hubby also saw motley crue for Dr. Feelgood and thought it was funny that Vince only forgot the words to the songs that he wrote.
I used to bang a girl who’s dad was the bassist for the turtles. Not the ninja turtles, the turtles.
He also says that he met Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini jogging in down town Palm Springs.
BOO!
Who the fuck are you guys, and what the fuck is your damage?
Welcome, Mr. Eibmoz. Nice to meet you.
Not music related, but I waited on Kevin "Johnny Drama" Dillon. I really didn’t want to like him, but he was a nice guy, and an excellent tipper.
When I saw Poison in concert, whats-his-name the singer fell off the stage drunk. Warrant opened, "Cherry Pie" was the best part of that evening.
What is your damage, Fek? Are there any Klingon bands that you are fond of?
Mr Eibmoz? Is this a jacktion?esque troll, or is this eib’s better half?
Heh dude I saw Warrant, Great White, and Stryper all in the same gig and it was Pre- Jaime warrant when they actually had a good sound to them. You know pre-gay years.
I saw a Family values show where Limp Bizkit was supposed to perform, but Durst either had food poisoning or OD’ed, depending on who you asked.
I saw Great White and Kix together. Top that!!
It’s her better half. Although she would disagree with that statement. She only has two halves. the left one and the right one. :D
The Mighty Fek’lhr saw Weird Al in concert in Cedar Rapids, IA.
The Mighty Fek’lhr’s damage is his personality disorder and alcoholism.
The Mighty Fek’lhr saw Weird Al in concert in Cedar Rapids, IA.
Why do I believe that?
Oh yeah Weird Al is always fun.
Oh yeah well I can one up most of yall. I saw SAM "the Man" Kinnison’s first vegas show.
The Mighty Fek’lhr saw The Undertaker put Ultimate Warrior in a body bag in Cedar Rapids, IA.
Oh man, when I worked at the pre-school, one of the dads was from a lesser 80′s metal band. I’ll be damned if I can remember who it was. They were based out of NJ.
Ok, so it’s true confessions time. I saw Cindy Lauper in concert.
That really is my husband. He was posting as me, so we made one for him.
I saw Coldplay in concert, Chino.
I saw Louie Anderson eating an entire bag of potato chips outside the Mystic Lake Casino in Minnesota.
Will you cocksuckers please quit calling me "weird"?
I saw Tom Arnold eating ham balls with my grandmother in a Methodist Church basement.
OK, Mr and Mrs Eibmoz, that is confusing as fucking hell!
Jack, you just made me feel a whole lot better. Try to beat this, though. I saw Richard Marx in concert.
I have never been to a concert.
I’m changing my name to Glen.
hello mr eib. Nice to meet you. I’ve heard baaaaaaaaaaad things about you. But, I don’t believe what women say, even my own mother.
The Mighty Fek’lhr talked to Hayden Fry while he was sitting in the back of a convertible getting ready for the homecoming parade a few years ago. He was nice.
Chino, I saw Kenny Rogers in concert.
Yes, one of my finer moments. Fuck you guys, I was 12 and my mom wanted to see teh Oakridge Boys opening for him.
I saw R. Kelly pee on some chick.
The Mighty Fek’lhr has a video tape of his grandfather making mule sounds for Boxcar Willie at a show in Branson, MO.
HEEEEEEEEEE HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!
Kenny Rogers had some great songs.
and the Oak Ridge Boys had one song.
I saw Coldplay in concert, Chino.
Well, now it all comes full circle. I was blind but now I see. Cat’s out of the bag now!
I saw a donkey show in an abandoned factory in Brooklyn.
It was… awkward.
You know there comes a point where it goes from a chick getting fucked by a donkey to a human being with a donkey penis inside it.
The Mighty Fek’lhr’s little sister had an imaginary friend when she was 3. He was a talking turle named Bogey.
*turtle
I saw a show Chino did one time in Seattle… it was… "unique".
Jack, you jerked it to the donkey action. We all know it. Just admit it.
I let the dogs out.
I let teh dogs *in*.
Sorry Fek, and everyone. All future post by the Mister will be the Mister. Dont tell him what I said Nom, jeez. jerk
Fuck you, Robo! You could have saved us all a lot of trouble by leaving them in.
Al. you saw teh Oakridge Boys? Were they teh ghey?
I like it that just because I act a little pissy, everyone starts apologizing to me. You all either must really like me or are morbidly afraid of what I will do to your corpses.
It’s like telling me to "Fuck off" has never crossed anyone’s mind?
Well, I can assure you, the Oakridge Boys have more than one song. They have several thousand that all sound the same that the play in succession for about 8 days before you’re allowed to leave the arena.
Oh, so that’s what finally gets somebody to respond to one of my posts tonight?
When did you see Chino in Seattle, Al? Recently? Why was it unique?
Hey, when did Robo get here?
Sorry, Robo. But if you bring up the Baja Men, you get what you deserve.
I love how this thread was all but dead, but then the power of butt rock brought it back to life.
Kum Ba Yah, mutha fuckas.
Chino – I was referring to our conversation the other day, when I was upset that Nominus only took me out to an expensive dinner and show which I didn’t think warranted me "putting out". You asked if it was one of your shows and I asked if you were the one with the donkey.
Ah yes, the White Pony show. I remember it well. :)
Bah! Good night forshak-hut dwellers!
Ok. Music.
My friend and I used to be in a band. He found an old demo that we made 11 years ago, and made a myspace page with it. The sound quality sucks because it was on and 11 year old cassette, but it would mean a lot to me if you’d listen to the first song, and tell me what you think of it, honestly.
http://www.myspace.com/ryanflynnband
BTW, my music is the antithesis of metal.
Nighty-night, Oh Mighty One.
Jack, if I currently had audio capabilties, I would totally listen to that. Alas, Nominus can’t get his shit together and help me. Not that I’m pointing fingers or asking for payback for all the help I’ve given him.
The Tunnel of Love thing, or am I listening to the wrong thing?
if I currently had audio capabilties, I would totally listen to that.
I’m sorry Al. How long have you been deaf?
That’s it Chino. I know it’s not what you expected. Just give it a chance.
Okay, let me spin it again.
People either tend to love the song and get it caught in their head for weeks, or hate it, and then lash out in anger beecause it gets caught in their head for weeks.
The belch part was good and the carnival sound but I don’t know. It’s all keyboard, no?
Can anybody help me help Al with her video card? She had her computer wiped and the guy forgot to fully install her sound card. Anyone? I treid, but…no avail
Whoa. Somehow, with the anticipation of copy and paste, I didn’t know what to expect. Somehoe, it totally was what I expected. It was neat. Different.
There’s guitar on it, but yeah, it’s mostly synthesizer.
*Chodin come sliding in wearing his socks, a dress shirt and his sunglasses*
Mr. Beautiful is here!
Nom, you are so chivalrous. It does a ladies heart good to see.
i meant somehow, but I’ll stick with somehoe.
*Chodin come sliding in wearing his socks, a dress
shirtand his sunglasses*That’s better.
Sorry, forgot to change…was watching Sex and the City with “the boys”.
How does chodin do that? Where you come up with these? It makes no logical sense. And, to those who aren’t athiest: "God works in mysterious ways that make no logical sense"
Jack, it reminds me of something, but I can’t put my finger on it. OKGO, maybe? It is creative. Happy!
Well Nom, you have to consider the fact that I was born through emaculate conception…
Chodin does have the best entrances, hands down.
Chodin does have the ONLY entrances, hands down.
Chodin has the ONLY entrances, hands down on penis.
I like Cho’s back entrance myself.
Ladies, ladies, please…you’re going to make me put blush on.
I’m just wait ing for a **chodin enter rooms in a hurry* "Hey guys, can you hold on to this for me?"
Eib, you are out of control. Where is Mr. Eib?
Oh,hey, Jack.When I was 9, my best friends father had the most bizarre collection of porn, and one of the magazines had stills from a donkey show. And, german shepards. No one could masturbate to that, could they?
He is in the other room Chino. shhhhhh
And, I know it seems like some sort of character, but its not. I did not listen to that stuff in the 80s, I was a fruity Prince and Culture Club fan. Dont hate me
can I haz durst?
I could never hate a woman, eib. Or, could I? Hmmm…
Damn, the 80s!!!!!!! Shit yeah- in the 80s I a fruity…baby.
…i WAS a fruity baby, baby.
You dont hate me Nom. other bitches, maybe, but not me
Yeah, you are young and cute. Rub it in Cho
I wore hot pink Jams in the 80′s. And a haircut like MC hammer.
Liar. no one really wore that shit
*runs into the room with labcoat and glasses dragging a length of tractor feed computer paper*
RE: the music at that myspace (I should preface by saying this is not the type of music I usually listen to but I’ll try not to be a total asshole about it.)
Tunnel of Love – musically very good and great mixing but personally I couldn’t listen to this song without risking a migraine (sharp treble and higher-pitched flat notes on keyboard)
Kate – like the organ in this, the mixing wasn’t as seamless as with Tunnel of Love, don’t really like the guitar solo (if that’s a guitar solo)
I Can Fix it – kind of reminds me of The High Strung, this information is useless to you
Get in Bed with me – No.
Overall – not my kind of music but reminds me of something I’d hear on epitonic or in my brother’s car, decent lyrics and a good singer but it doesn’t sound like he’s singing from the diaphram with resonance if that makes any sense
*looks down at printout*
HOLY SHIT! A nearly 8 km wide piece of the asteroid "Orpheus" is heading towards Earff! Call Sean Connery!
I had no choice, I was in 3rd grade in the 80′s. Weren’t my choice. But, I did sell friendship bracelets by choice.
Ok, must go sleepy now. See you all later?
Nighty Night Chino, rest up for the PFC tomorrow!
Sorry to bone the fuck out, but…um..I’m boning the fuck out! Adios pals,
DRUNK on.
*Chodin taps right foot twice, floor hatch swings open, drops through hole.*
$10 says Nominus sold more than "friendship bracelets" in third grade.
he has some pretty good exits too.
Nominus: Tales of a Third Grade Ho
PFC is ON! AGB get ready. Zog, you’re mine.
I wore LA Gear. The wetback kids wore soccer cleats to school.
I had La Gear regulators. My dad was too cheap to get me reebok pumps or jordans like I wanted.
Nom – I woulda made you a man in exchange for a friendship bracelet in Grade 3. True story.
It was two different singers and two different writers Robo. But thanks for the honest opinion, I wrote and sang the first two and Don wrote and sang the second two.
I wore Chuck Taylors for most of school. Eventually, I bought a really expensive pair of sneakers in high school, and outgrew them in three weeks. So I bout a $20 pair of Chucks again, and stuck with them.
*Pauly has a Peach Optimo Blunt in his mouth, pats his pockets with a look of confusion*
Which one of you twat plugs has my lighter?
Not usually a synth fan, but I like Kate, Jack!.
StAnky! Where’ve you been?
Yeah, you better Fuck Off, Fek you Fek-Head. (This is how a real man tells someone to fuck off; when they’re already gone, and probably won’t see this until the next day if at all.)
I went to a mosh pit at my high school 2 years ago, the band was…LOE? Whatever. Jumping up and down and head-banging is hard work.
Who the fuck are you, Carna?
And why should we give a shit?
I’m like every other person here, some random someone who logged into this site. Or was it invite-only? Should I act hostile too? ;D and you probably shouldn’t give a shit, wouldn’t want you to strain your already loose rectum.
Carna, that isn’t a mosh pit. Or a concert.
True? Fucks me. I don’t know the lingo. First and probably last time I would go.
Carna, you’re the one that attacked one of the regulars. If you’d like us to be civil, than please try to do the same.
Well, that explains why the singing on the first two songs seemed better than the last two, although you crackers all sound alike.
Crackerass crackers.
*Pauly pinches nose*
My Semi Pro Review.
Remember when Chevy Chase spoofed Kareem Abdul Jabar in “Flech”?
It was an hour and one half of that.
RIP Snoozer
I am pretty white.
It’s like telling me to "Fuck off" has never crossed anyone’s mind?I like it that just because I act a little pissy, everyone starts apologizing to me. You all either must really like me or are morbidly afraid of what I will do to your corpses.
Twas a joke Jacktion. Hard to be hostile and attack someone who’s gone.
I’ve been lurking, Jack!. Think I enjoy everyone else a little more than everyone else enjoys me. And I’m alright with that. And finishing up school and getting ready to move cross country is dominating my time.
Where are you moving to StAnky?
Need I put a /joke at the end of everything I mean as a joke?
Well, not REALLY cross country… just 400 miles or so… from Columbus to around Baltimore, MD
You might want to consider it, because I haven’t found anything funny yet.
To each their own ;D
Yeah, I knew you lived in Colombus. Funny thing, I may be moving to Ohio at the end of the summer.
Yeah? What may bring you to the land of prosperity that is the great state of Ohio?
My favorite part of Carna’s posts is that his name shows up above each post. That way I know which ones to skip.
My best friend lives in Cincinnati, and we may try and have a go at making music again.
You guys are mean. What have I tought you all about being friendly? Nothing? But goddamn that was funny stanky
It’s maybe a 10 or 12 hour drive from where I live, so I figure it won’t be too hard for me to come back home to visit.
BURN :(
That’s a helpful hint StAnky. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.
Yeah, I’ve done a good amount of driving to and from here. You can drive damn near anywhere it seems in about 8-12 hours from Ohio. I have this sneaking submission that everything in life somehow originates in Ohio. It’s like it’s the Kevin Bacon of the states. But with even more unemployment.
I second Nom’s motion that that was funny StAnky. Yeah, I’m still here, fuckers.
Nothing actually takes place in life unless I’m ther to observe it. Otherwise, it’s nothing more than a wave of uncertainty
Thanks guys. I try not to be a dick, but what can I say? When the mood hits, the mood hits.
When the mood hits, the mood hits.
That’s how I feel about masturbating in church.
Holy Water lube?
I can’t get around that, Jack. I’m gonna have to nom that.
Pauly:
Were those Napolean’s last words as emperor?
I think his last words were “Make me…into..an ice cream”.
I wiki’d that.
StAnky – you’ll have to second mine.
Says who, Al? You clearly should have FIST!ed mine.
Don’t make me go all Doctress on your ass, StAnky. Cuz I won’t. I’m lazy like that.
Pauly’s ice cream comment made me chuckle… and I don’t want you to go Doctress on me, Al. Can’t we be friends?
Guys, don’t fight over me!
You can take turns with me.
Or one of you can work the shaft while the other works the balls.
StAnky I have a lot of love for you, and Jack!, I get you first.
I wouldn’t say no to a fist up the bum, either.
Would you be the tranny, Jack!, or would I? Cuz I just took these thigh-highs off, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna redo my mascara.
It’s not gay if you don’t enjoy it.
GRRRR ANDROGYNY!!!
Well, I have to work in the morning. Al, give Jack! a reach around for me.
Adios drunkardos.
Androgyny
A new fragrance by Pauly.
ZOG!
Goddamnit. *Ponders the merits of wading through 400+ comments* Nah.
Do Zog hear someone call Zog name?
Listening to song now, will give opinion soon.
We can probably be nice to Carna now. Well, I guess we don’t have to. Carna could help themselves by being funny…
Me win Zog in pillow fight, tonight.
Jack, let me put it this way, I have listened to a ton of music, and I hate most of it. I don’t hate yours. At least it is moderately unique, therefore making it more interesting to me than the bullshit pumped out on the Billboard.
Bottom line, I wouldn’t spaz and shoot the fucking radio (a la Bad Lieutenant) if this came on the radio.
*Pauly is holding a conch shell on his dick*
I don’t hear the ocean at all.
My anus is bleeding!
For the love of God, my anus is bleeding!
For the love of God, my anus is bleeding!
Zog have no idea how Zog help. Zog not sure Zog WANT help…
Are you sure it’s your anus and not another orifice?
*sigh*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSb-nV8l2QY
So, i had some time to kill before MOTD and i thought i might as well catch up because i
‘m paranoidlove you. JWIADH would have enjoyed the metal chat – remember him waxing lyrical on the merits of Slayer and a myriad of other metal kings on the epic Britney thread, over there.Why is it that when a classic movie comes on tv, you can’t bring yourself to change the channel, even if you own the movie?
Wayne’s World just came on Comedy Central and effectively stole the next 2 hours of my life.
I don’t mind watching movies, it’s just the dubbing over of the curses.
Cop: Where’d you get the scar from, eating Pineapple?
Tony Montana: How am I gonna get a scar like that from eating Pineapple?
Yeah, watched Big Jake again earlier; it’s probably my favourite John Wayne movie. Any gun nuts out there know what the handgun his son uses? Think he calls it a Bergen (?) 1911. Only ever seen it in that movie.
I think the completely nonsensical overdubbing is my favorite part of watching movies on cable. Can’t remember what movie it was, but one dubbed "mother fucker" as "monkey fingers." Good stuff.
Jack!’s bloody ass gives me an idea for a band name:
Blood Enema
I heard mother fucker intepreted as “Muddy Fenders”.
Comedy Central’s censors aren’t very creative. They just cut the audio when Wayne said "I believe I was the one who requested the handjob"
I would have dubbed “handrub” in.
440+ comments?
fuck.that.
It’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll, dub.
No, I wont fuck that, not even with your dick. so there
Pauly, will you be my life partner?
Hey Homoriffic bird raping Film Drunkards, how the hell are you?
How am I? How am I? I’m fucking terrible! Am I right, folks? Aw, comeon.
I was okay until my anus began bleeding.
That’s a true top of the page comment right there.
By “life partner” do you mean “Human Fifi”?
Well, unless you want to go to Massachussets to make it official.
Are you going have to wear a tampon, Jack!?
I don’t see no O-ring of this finger.
Maybe Jack saw that Kate girl from his song and she kicked him so hard in the sphincter that his anus is bleeding. That’s my Kate!
MY SPOON IS TOO BIG!!!!!!!!
You didn’t get the candy lollipop ring I sent you? I even swirled it around in my wife’s pussy a few times
out of spitefor good measure!Perhaps prolapse, Jack!?
Is that why my lips are chapped, Fek?
I was invited to a kid’s party being held today. I don’t like kid parties. I can’t as drunk as I want and no weed smoke. Plus fuck kids.
The only thing I like is throw flips and doing face plants in the jumping castle. Also throwing the kids around in the jumping castle.
Though I’m pretty sure StAnky won’t see this five hours later, I just wanted to ask where in/near Baltimore? I’m in the Perry Hall/Nottingham/Carney area. Good to have a drunkard neighbor.
Welcome to the land of crabs and crappy sports teams.
Or should I say the Mary-land of crabs and sports teams.
Durst.
Are they blue crabs, Sassy?
Actually, Sassy, I’m here, because I
currently have no lifewant to be here with all of you.We’ve rented an apartment in Columbia. No worries about the sports teams, I’m from Ohio, and I bring my allegiance to shitty Cincinnati sports teams wherever I go. At least I can rest assured the people I meet will hate me for being an Ohio State fan. It’s win-win, really.
Yep, Chesapeake Bay blue crabs…best on the planet.
No way, Ohio State was my number one, tall time first choice school. I wanted to go there SO bad, but I got a full scholarship somewhere else. But Ravens fans are *crazy* around here. You might not want to mention the Bangals ’round these parts.
tall is the other way of saying all
Oh, and Bengals. Sorry for the fifty posts in a row
As long as no one pulls a Ray Lewis on me, I think I’ll be ok.
Haha, just avoid East Bmore and you’ll be OK.
Other than that, it’s a cool little city (I don’t know if you’ve ever been?) as long as you know where to stick to. You know you’re a local when you don’t think it’s weird when perfect strangers call you "hon" and you drop consonants from every word (Yer in Bawlmore now, hon).
The pointers are much appreciated.
Good overdubs of movies on network TV… right now Old School is on ABC.
True line: "Love… it’s a mother fucker, uh?"
ABC version: "Love… it’s a messy business, uh?"
Pretty seamless. But gay.
WIN!
LOSE!
OR DRAW!
Best Bert Convey game show of the 80′s!
Bert Convy doesn’t have a myspace page. Too bad, he’d be a good grab for us.
Win=Fart without shitting yourself
Lose=Fart and shit yourself
Draw=Fart and shit yourself, but not enough to soil your briefs
**nominus runs in, dumps a jar full of pennies and nickels on the counter**
Hey guys, can you change this into paper? This chick down on sixth street offered my a handy for 5 bucks.
So, this enitech labs advertisements is actually some kind of retarded viral marketing campaign for the new Terminator movie that McG plans of fucking up, huh?
Since when is "viral" a good thing?
That’s funny Nom. Sixth is where all the hookers are at here as well. That and Miracle Mile.
I woke up this afternoon, and I looked like Yahoo Serious.
My favorite episode of Tales from the Crypt was "Only Sin Deep" because he recaps with, "Guess she heard the old saying, if looks could kill, so she did."
The Crypt Keeper is all about personality.
I had a teacher that laughed like him.
Wow. Now after a shave and a shower I look like a young Chris Penn “Footloose” Chris Penn Only I dance way better.
Yup. I clean up nice.
Chris Penn moves his eyebrows entirely too frequently.
NOt anymore Heather. I think his eyebrows are dust now.
too soon? I dont think so!!!!! Now, if I had said that you could get high from snorting Brad Renfro’s cremains, that may be too soon.
But, also true. I wonder if instead of burying him, they just used Roy Scheider as chum, and then killed a shark in his honor?
Or maybe they were replaced by two adorable little earth worms?
Like gummy earth worms?
::dub comes riding atop of his trustee stead* with a full charlie chaplin costume::
whats up homos. anyone on**?
*pet chihuahua
**someone that has no life but to post on fd on the day of the sabbath
You "spelled" steed wrong.
Maybe he *meant* "stead", as in his "alternate" chihuaua.
al, that’s exactly what i "met"
now, did i purposefully "mispell" meant or am i just "retardeded?"
stay tooned and fined out.
I think it’s some sort of clever code and you’re planning a bank heist with some of the other Drunkards. I’m not smart enough to crack it, but I want a share of the loot or I’ll announce your plan to the world.
We’re using quotation marks "an" awful lot, suddenly.
Are you a punctuation-ist, he of the exclamation-pointed name?
I’m offly drunk.
they need to make one called semi-retarded…. i didnt read all 502 posts to see if this had allready been done.. fuck it i am lazy
al, you’re a n azi
pauly, you’re an alcoholic
ogapo, you’re lazy
Oz, don’t try and get us on topic. We got away from that 9 pages ago.
That Wil Farell is something..
if you can only achieve a semi-erection does that mean you have a semi case of fagness?
I have snorting jello shots for money.
:(
Depends on what’s prompting the semi-erection.
if, I, a heterosexual male, was only able to achieve a semi-erection EVER am i a semi-fag
i shouldve added more commas in there. i love, pauses. dont, you?
I stay half hard all day.
I totally just read that using William Shatner’s voice. And. It. Was. Awesome.
What if you get a bad case of whiskey dick, dub?
i dont drink whiskey so idk how that feels like. will "whiskey dick" make me "cum" faster?
and by cum i just mean make a faint moaning sound before i quickly knock out
you dont have to drink whiskey to have whiskey dick.
Just like you don’t have to take your clothes off to have a good time.
you don’t have to take your clothes off to have a good time
That’s good news, because I’m a never nude.
what if i always have my clothes off?
HMMMM?????
I just keep my boxer briefs on, and socks.
I disagree, Pauly. If experience has taught me anything, it’s that I have a much better time with my clothes off.
Yeah, I’m fun at parties.
I shower with my clothes on, and shit with my clothes off.
Go fig
Man is the only animal that poops with pants on.
im fun at parties too. until i start cupping all of my boys’ balls and hiss at the ladies for being ‘wretches’ and ‘gods mistake’
Dub, you are SO invited over next Saturday.
I’m a MANimal!
i better be! give me a couple of shirley temples and ill tear up that dance floor with m y harlem shake and
soulja boy dance!
People say I’m a pretty good Salsa dancer.
People tell me I’m a bad salsa dipper. Something about double dipping and contagious oral herpes.
Pauly, that’s kind of ironic you said that baout salsa dancing. To make a long story short, the company my wife works for throws an elaborate summer picnic every year, and one year that had salsa dancers there to give little lessons.
Now, I ain’t much to look at, not bad but not great. I am a tall, husky white guy, but damn did I tear up them dance floors with them salsa moves they showed me. My wife NEVER dances with me, but she danced with me that day.
So, I basically have three moves to my repertoire of moves:
Fucking cool! Posting is more fun when you are drunk! QAPLAH!
The Mighty Fek’lhr feels that getting smashed, listening to Balck Sabbeth, and fucking around online should be an Olympic Sport. He would be Gold Medalist every year!
In the future everyone will listen to Balck Sabbeth instead of Black Sabbath.
Now add bong hits, Fek, and I!m in.
I have been training half my life.
I!m drunk.
The Mighty Fek’lhr feels that bong hits alone should garner it’s own Olympic Medal. He has seen enough fucking wusses cowtow out of fucking assbeat fucking bong hits to know that it takes a real man to clear the fucking chamber, "WIN, LOSE, OR DRAW!"
Take the fucking hit, lose! Even if it is a cached fucking screen hit or a frothy fucking ganja hit that would tranquilize a fucking elephant, you filled it, YOU FINISH IT!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the future everyone will listen to Balck Sabbeth instead of Black Sabbath.
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I!m sober!
NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy shit! Where the fuck has Duke in Devo been?
Dude, if youa re still alive, give us a sign!!!!
Dor sho gha!
Same with Hustla!
Um…
and that one chick!
I am a real good dancer. I’m Mexican so I dance all that Spanish shit.
One time in a bar in Mexico. I won a hard body contest and a beer chugging contest.
The hard body contest is kinda comical given my physic, and the beer chugging contest I won because they gave us 2 bottles and I was the only smart one to drink them both at the same time.
I had my Thinking Cap on.
Pauly, it’s like we are different sides of the same peso. I have never been in a hardbody contest, but NO ONE beats me at beer racing! AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!
GRRR…MILLER LITE!
I have’nt lost.
::dub clears his throat::
when it comes to dancing no one can touch this, not only am i mexican but i work in the club scene and get heavily inebriated whilst working. does that make me a better dancer not necessarily but good enough that every morning after i black out i wake up his my jaw hurting and pockets FULL of cash. coinky dink? i think not!
I’m the type that can, will, and have drank themself into a hospital.
That’s funny, dub. When I black out at the club I wake up with an empty wallet and my dick sucked soar.
…my girl wants to party all the time…
That song reminds me of when I dated a stripper briefly.
That bitch was a fucking nut job. Plus she did coke like a fat guy at a buffet does Popcorn Shrimp. Up for days this bitch. I sent her little brother on beer runs at least a dozen times. 3 in one night.
pauly you are someone id like to totally screw. seriously.
true story time: your true story is a parallel that this dude i know is currently living. that stripper is buying 8 balls every other day. she’s awesome.
…she likes to party all the time, party all the time!
We went to Phoenix with a bunch of friends one weekend and she damn near did a quarter of an ounce.
She was all gorked out by Sunday.I left her ass up there and I didn’t hear from her for a week. Only because she called me for some clothes she left at my house. I still sell weed to her little brother.
Thanks dub. Now I know I got “Fo Sho” ass lined up.
Jesus Christ Pauly, keep the gloves on when no one else is throwing down.
al, FOR SHAME!
(Al goes to the box and feels shame, as per Dub’s instruction)
Ten points for anyone who gets that hockey movie reference.
so i just went over to WL for the first time ever since we invaded them and can say i was thuroughly disappointed. here i thought they were goin broke and shut down and was going to comment on how sad i was, low and behold im fuckn banned. fags.
without laughter=failure pile in a sadness bowl
Al, I ALWAYS have the glove on whilst throwing down.
*wink, wink*
Or like a sandwich bag diaphram. But not the Ziploc kind.
Ouch.
Filmdrunk weekends, true tales of debauchery.
Love him very much. Lots of my online friends on mixedfriends dotcom love him too. You can share your ideas with them if you want. It is a servious interracial dating service.