TIGERS STILL CROUCHING, ETC.
02.11.08
Yahoo has a new trailer for The Forbidden Kingdom, the historic first collaboration between Jackie Chan and Jet Li, with choreography by Wo Ping (The Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon).
The plot: A kid buying bootleg kung-fu DVDs in Chinatown travels back in time to ancient China, where he must free “the Monkey King”. Kung Fu master Lu Yan (Jackie Chan) and Silent Monk (Jet Li) are among those who help Jason in his quest.
Jet Li and Jackie Chan finally got together for this? Look, if you’re gonna make a silly action flick, at least make it over the top silly like throwing a baby elephant, or self aware like a four-minute tracking shot (both clips after the jump). I guess what I’m saying is that every action movie should be a Tony Jaa movie.
I think China just needs to wake up to the fact that wire fighting isn’t that cool anymore. And also that eating exotic animals will not endow you with the properties of said animal.
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My steady diet of humming bird testes and ocelot nipple chips is the true secret to my longevity.
Yeah Lance, eating exotic animals will not endow you with the properties of said animal.
Well one time I ate a skunk and have been told sever times since then that I ‘smell like shit’. Do you believe now?!
One time I fucked DB’s mother and have been told since then that I ‘smell like a garlic ceasar cock breath’…
This would only be cool if they got Orlando Jones to play "The Monkey King".
BOOSH!
LUCH!
BOOSH!LUCH!
Im sure Jackie is just glad he doesnt have to work with Chris Tucker or Bret Ratturd.
The Drunken Immortal? This movie is about my father stumbling around my hometown with blood 9/10ths beer, isn’t it?
Actually, I’ve eaten my fair share of human babies and I’m still hung like a roll of dimes.
So Burnsy does that prove or disprove the theory?
Yeah well I ate a tranny hooker once and . . . um . . . I don’t wanna talk about this anymore. Hey look! Wire fighting!
Hey, if I’m attacked by wires; I’m gonna fight back!
man, if there was a sign at all for the writers to get back on their horse, it’s this goddamn movie.
Just makes me lonely, Luch.
I hate Wire fu but from what I hear theres an amazing 20 minute fight between Chan and Li in this movie that is said to be one of the best in history. The people who say this better be right because its been way too long to wait for some lame wire fu shit. I wish all martial arts movies stuck to reality when it comes to fight scenes. The success of Crouching Tiger has led studios to believe that we are dying to see high flying garbage.
And every martial arts movie should include Tony Jaa in it, that guy is amazing.
Mac, you don’t work for "Chewleys Gum" do you?
TONY DANZAAAAA!!!!!!
Yahoo has a new trailer for The Forbidden Kingdom, the historic first collaboration between Jackie Chan and Jet Li
Hold the phone here, Lance… This is historic on a technicality, not by means of magnitude. Let’s not forget the Historic first collaboration of Paris Hilton and the chick in ugly makeup, or the Historic first movie to spoof ’300′.
I have a slightly unrelated question. What is a breakfast nook?
i thought buying bootleg kung-fu DVDs in Chinatown, was already pretty damn close to traveling back in time.
“don’t any of you people speak engrish!?! where’s the mall around this place??? do you know where i can charge my ipod??? sucky-sucky five dolla’ !?!”
its those dimples above a girl’s ass that you eat scrambled eggs out of
“…where he must free ‘the Monkey King’ ”
i used to play the exact same game with my gay uncle zanzibar.
Jet Li is HOT!
The Forbidden Kingdom is what mom used to call her vagina. guess it wasn’t so forbidden when she was drunk, huh?
Did that guy just threw a freaking baby elephant through a goddamn window? Did he run out of bunnies or what?
The Mighty Fek’lhr thought He was The Drunken Immortal of FD? Guy’cha!