Here’s a nice little video from David Spade on Funny or Die called ‘There Will Be Oscars’.
"Johnny Depp can sing; who gives a fuck? I sing in the shower, no one’s throwing awards over the curtain."
"Tim Burton’s not a genius, I have some bad news for you people."
"Michael Clayton? H.W. calls it ‘Michael Gay-ton’. That’s a burn."
Christ, it’s almost like I wrote it myself! But I didn’t. David Spade did. He’s five foot six and he bangs playmates. Mega frownies :-( :-(
[Thanks to DF for the tip]
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Tell me again why awards shows need writers? The emcee is usually a comedian, so they shouldn’t need a writer, right? The winners should be able to remember all of the names of their, no offense Mighty One, clinger-ons, so they shouldn’t need a writer. The band dorks have their sheet music, again, no writer needed. So fuck the writers and let’s see some Hollywood cleavage already. I don’t really give a fuck if the Oscars happen or not, I’m just bored as fuck at work.
further proof that actors need writers to wipe their asses for them
I’m torn on this, the writers make the funny, but they are hipster douchebags… Kill ‘em all?!
There will be Oscars . . . WITH BLOOD!
fixed.
It’s all one big pole-stroke anyway, they oughta’ just wing it.
These people are talented professionals (some), yet they need puppet masters reaching up their asses to feel inspired? Bunch of cock gobblers.
It’d be great if the Oscars got blown up by
Scientologists Readers People With StandardsTerrorists?^ I forgot
Striking Writers…How come it seems everything I do, becomes cool and funny no more than a couple years later?
Brace yourselves, jacking off with your legs over your shoulders, while holding the buisness end of a waffle iron in your ass is gonna be the new "cool" by ’09. You watch.
jacking off with your legs over your shoulders, while holding the buisness end of a waffle iron in your ass is gonna be the new "cool" by ’09. You watch.
That is so yesterday afternoon around 6:14pm…
pauly- learn to give and take dictation. asshole.
Paul that was the funniest damn thing I’ve heard all day
The last movie The Mighty Fek’lhr watched that had (supposedly) won an Oscar was Return of the King.
The Mighty Fek’lhr once heard the title had been pitched as "Revenge of the King", but it sounded too mean for a king that likes to molest Hobbits.
Wow Fek, +15 bonus points for difficulty by hitting 2 geek jokes at once!
-15 pts for knowing that Revenge was the original title for Return.
-15 pts to myself for knowing as well.
+15 pts to Eib. Yeah she got the joke but she’s also a chick and chicks that know Star Wars are hot. Well not all of them, but Eib is at least.
The Mighty Fek’lhr is glad SOMEONE got His joke since His "I-Suck Balls McGinty" one Dursted so qOvlpathing bad…
I am a geek girl
And thanks Erswi
there will be blood!!!!!
Fek, I got the reference to "Iron Balls" McGinty from The Jerk.
I just thought it better left unsaid.
*sobbing in the corner*
Th-thanks…J-j-jack…*sniffle*
Tell me again why awards shows need writers?
Tell me why they don’t just hire writers from the Canadian Guild, or better yet make it a non-union production? Those fucking whores aren’t going to skip the Oscars because of either of those things. Hollywood people exist for only two reasons to (hopefully) entertain us and to get their asses kissed by each other.
This union thing is all bullshit anyway. My son does both union and non-union commercial work. All of the crew on the non-union jobs are in some union or other, and yet they still do their regular jobs on a non-union shoot. They get away with it by being listed as something other than their regular jobs in the records. I spoke to an Assistant Director on one of these things about this, she said she was signed in as a Makeup Artist on that shoot. So much for union solidarity.
I was disappointed with There Will Be Blood. It was all dark and serious, I was hoping for a hilarious romp through the life of a tween on the brink of womanhood.
Revenge of the Jedi was the original "working" title for Return of the Jedi. But a jedi wouldn’t take revenge. It’s all on the special edition trilogy box set.
*sobbing in the corner*
Th-thanks…J-j-jack…*sniffle*
Hey, we all have gems that are overlooked. I posted that Lisa Rinna ordered a douche cocktail at spago – nothin…
I say we each get to pick ONE of our own comments each week to be put up for consideration. Is that a slippery slope?
Revenge of the Jedi was the original "working" title for Return of the Jedi. But a jedi wouldn’t take revenge. It’s all on the special edition trilogy box set.
[tinyurl.com]
BAH, screw the box set. I’m so awesome I went back in time and actually saw the above teaser posters in theaters before Lucas pussed out and changed the name. (clearly I must have time travelled because I can’t possibly be old enough to have actually seen all 3 original movies in the theaters can I? aww fuck)
new up dipshits
I say we each get to pick ONE of our own comments each week to be put up for consideration. Is that a slippery slope?
That’s a very slipperly slope. If everyone gets to put aone of their own comments up for consideration, then Nominus gets to have one of his comments considered, too. And we don’t want to get his hopes up, do we?
in soviet mexico, return of the jedi is called the revenge of the jedi so we be better than you although last night at soccer we tied at 2 -2
Jack, you’re mean. I don’t think I can take it.
You tied the US at futbol (as you faggity foreign types like to call it) only because the goddamned Costa Rican referee invalidated a goal! WTF is that?
The ball, she was in de net.
Not she wasn’t.
Ok then.
There better be Oscars because without the awards, my Oscarita (margarita +Oscar) party is just going to be me getting pissed on a school night for no good reason. Or what I like to call Wednesday.
Pauly:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHey, we all have gems that are overlooked. I posted that Lisa Rinna ordered a douche cocktail at spago – nothin…
I’ll nom that if you nom Revenge of the King!
I’ll nom that if you nom Revenge of the King!
This right here is the slippery slope.
done
Dude, it’s not like they will get mad at us. How can you get mad at a Lego Predator and a waffle with a beard? It just can’t happen.
There is nothing more gay than two guys contemplating a "You do me, and I’ll do you" arrangement. I say you guys do it.
Dude, it’s not like they will get mad at us. How can you get mad at a Lego Predator and a waffle with a beard? It just can’t happen.
Goatee
Your Goatee Goes To College!
Nom-I am drunk and Stoney is dressed like a girl…it’s cool. :D
No, really…I am DRUNK!
If anyone just saw what Bill Hader did on Saturday Night Live about 10 minutes ago, they wouldn’t ever laugh at this again.
Hader just drank Spade’s milkshake for sure!
The best impressionist on TV is definitely not a fat-ass named Frank
Caliendo. From MadTV, just to specify.
You’re too fat to play DeNiro, even in his 60′s! The Madden thing has been keeping you afloat for 10 years straight, give it the fuck up!
i agree Keets. And who gave that guy his own show? I hate him, and cannot tell who the hell he is trying to be 99.9% of the time.