Chud is reporting that the suits at Warner Bros are so unhappy with Spike Jonze/Dave Eggers’ Where the Wild Things Are that they’re considering a total reshoot.
Yet I’m hearing that just such a massive reshoot is what is on the table right now. And it’s not because of technical issues, unless you want to consider the lead kid actor and the script technical issues. Sources tell me that the suits at Legendary and Warner Bros are not happy with Max Records, the actor playing Max, the mischievous boy who is crowned King of the Wild Things. Worse than that, they don’t like the film’s tone and want to go back to the script drawing board, possibly losing the Spike Jonze/Dave Eggers script when they do it. Apparently the film is too weird and ‘too scary,’ and the character of Max is being seen as not likable.
Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen the movie, but if someone’s doing Where the Wild Things Are, I trust Spike Jonze’s judgement over a movie exec’s – just like if I’m getting brain surgery, I’d rather it be performed by a surgeon than a three-fingered tranny.
The scary thing is that this wouldn’t be unprecedented for Warner Bros. Just a couple of years ago they scrapped Paul Schrader’s Exorcist prequel and sent Renny Harlin out to remake the thing using the same sets and some of the same actors.
You know what? I’m sick of this anxiety, so just do it. Fire Jonze, get Bret Ratner on the phone, and change all the dialogue to, "I’m the Wild Thing, bitch!" and I’ll go back to believing the world is too cruel a place for a delicate little flower like me. *sad trombone*
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Who cares if the lead child actor is likable? He’s just going to wind up dead in a bathtub full of heroin and Olsen twins body parts in six years anyways.
Suit 1: Lets make a live action version of this!
(Holds up "Where the Wild Things Are")
Suit 2: Why?
Suit 1: I dunno, looks cool…and I’m SOOOOOO STONED!
Suit 2: Yea, that book would look sweet ON WEED!
Suit 1: But who can write and direct it?
Suit 2 & Suit 1 (Simultaneously): THE DUDE WHO DOES THE WEEZER VIDEOS!!
*scanners detect a brief, sudden surge in neutron radiation, then SUDDENLY Grethor appears!*
QAPLAH, yIntaghs! The Mighty Fek’lhr must say, He just finished reading this book, and there aren’t any heinous Romulan deaths ANYWHERE in it!!!
*poot poot (spits in both hands)*
BONG!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoa that kid’s hat is fucking gnar.
Suit 2: Man, hiring that Weezer video guy seemed like a good idea at the time.
Suit 1: Yeah, but we should have known he’d be too over the top. After all, he did that Sabotage video.
Suit 2: Whoever can replace him and fix this tangled web?
Suit 1 & 2: THE DUDE WHO DID THE SUGAR RAY VIDEOS!
*incoming transmission*
The Mighty Fek’lhr feels that Rob Zombie would be a good director for this film. He is sure that Rob could tone it down enough to get an "R" rating.
*end transmission*
Suit 1 & Suit 2: HIGH FIVE!!!!! IIIIII JUST WANNA FLYYYY!!!!
Suit:1 Well, let’s get that unlikeable kid in here and rape and kill him!
Suit 2: Yeah! He’s a studio orphan anyway, no one will mind.
I’ll just make my own version starring my McFarland action figures and the Filipino boy who mows my lawn. i don’t have a cool suit for him to wear like Max wears, so i’ll just film him in those blue jean shorts that he wears in the yard.
McFarlanE
*deep in space…belly laughter is heard*
Thanks, Burnsy, you dick, now I have Buddy Holly stuck in my head.
o/’ What’s with these homos dissin’ my film? / Why do they gotta front?
They don’t understand ‘Where the Wild Things Are’ / Warner is such a cunt
WHOO-HOO! ….. o/`
Why the fuck can’t they just write their own stories and make them into movies? Stop anally raping everyone elses stories you assholes.
It’s called creativity, fuckwads.
Write something!!
They should let him reshoot it with the Jackass crew, and Wee Man as Max. I’d lay down nine bucks to see Max shooting the Wild Things in the nads with a paintball gun.
"The scary thing is that this wouldn’t be unprecedented for Warner Bros. Just a couple of years ago they scrapped Paul Schrader’s Exorcist prequel and sent Renny Harlin out to remake the thing using the same sets and some of the same actors."
Yeah, and THAT turned out real fucking well. I was more scared of the sticky substance on the movie theater floor.
SUITS MAY KILL ‘WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE’
And I may kill kittens. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
And literally.
*incoming transmisison*
Erswi, did you get His bong from two threads ago?
PUNK’D!
*end transmission*
I may have missed that one Fek.
Yup, I had missed that one. Even now I will continue to assume it was for Nommy. Yay me!
*erswi cannot kick that feeling like targeting computers have locked on to him*
"Worse than that, they don’t like the film’s tone"
Well then you need to show some balls and smack the shit outta that film, THEN maybe it’ll have your dinner ready on time.
Wait, what were we talking about?
"Worse than that, they don’t like the film’s tone"
Well then you need to show some balls and smack the shit outta that film, THEN maybe it’ll have your dinner ready on time.
Wait, what were we talking about?
So what? Who cares? Awesome……Charlie Sheen.
Goddamn itchy trigger finger. Double taps = double post.
*grumble grumble*
Speaking of which, did you guys know John Cryer is back?
In pog form?
Don’t blame me, Peet. Luch brought Weezer up first. I was only ridin’ his coat tails.
I yam disgustipated.
"Likable child actor" is an oxymoron like jumbo shrimp or civil war or unsavory fetus.
Anytime a post starts with Chud is reporting, I get a strange 2 Girls 1 Cup feeling
Burnsy, you can’t think of one child actor you’d like to mouth fuck? I know I can.
Relflux, Dakota Fanning. Just sayin.
I want to mouth fuck Jake Lloyd. Just so I can keep calling him a little girl until he tries to say "I’m a real boy" with my cock lodged in his throat.
In that case, Mickey Rooney.
So, where’s the online petition to save this movie? Cause we all know those work so well.
Scene: Movie studio board room
Present are producers and directors of Where The Wild Things Are, movie execs, one intern.
On a big screen, video showing reaction shots of a test audience is being shown – lots of scared/confused children, interested/amused adults.
Exec 1: "Isn’t this a kid’s movie?"
Director: "Well, not necessari…"
Exec 2: "Looks too scary for kids – let’s change it."
Director: "But, you’ve only seen the fir…"
Exec 3: (to director) "You’re fired."
Exec 1: (to intern) "You – break that glass over there."
Intern walks over to large in-wall cabinet, grabs a hammer attached by a chain, and smashes the glass. Out falls Bret Ratner.
Execs: (cheering/clapping/banging table like monkeys)
Director/producers: Exit room, saddened.
*deep in space the words "Jay North" seemed to have been screamed loudly*
It’s always good to have a "Ratner in a glass case".
*IN CASE OF TRUE POTENTIAL BREAK GLASS*
"Ratner’s who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. They should BE stoned"
well spoken, hugerde.
New post!
I hope they release it anyway. The first time I heard that kids were crying and asking to leave i swear I got wood. I’m tired of all the great children’s stories being watered down marketing ploys instead of the stories they originally were. ex. Bridge to tarabithia, golden compass, etc.
More children’s stories should be awesome and scarey like Pan’s
This is such motherfucking bullshit. I know us cinesthetes opinions matter for fucking zilch but Michel Gondry is one creative motherfucker. This is the kind of thing that has fucked so many director’s from working in the studio system and I can see why. No creative control at all, and your whole movie gets turned into a bunch of numbers to crunch, that if they don’t work out, your movie is going to bomb. Truthfully, it’s a children’s movie sure, but why do we need the same kid’s movie crap we always have? I would see this movie, and I’m sure alot of kids would too, just because it’s based off of the book. That would put people in seats and pay for the budget. The way audiences are these days, the studios should be looking at the numbers for "Step Up 2 the Streets" or some such other crap before they make such rash decisions. The film will pay for itself, and Michel Gondry has a strong art/cult following. Just looking at the test footage and the screens that have been released and I know it will look beautiful.
Also, it’s about a kid throwing a tantrum, why would the main character be immediately likeable? Of course he should be charasmatic, but their should at least be some growth from "Brat", to "normal" kid. Kids can be really annoying, obviously. Of course, Warner Bros. can go do whatever they want, but I think they should remember who they hired to make this film in the first place. It’s Spike Jonze for God’s sake. Look at his filmography so far. Did you think he’d make something "normal" in the Jewish sense? I want to see this even worse now, if only to get to eventually see the director’s version two years later on DVD or limited release.
Jeeze. Paragraphs, my friend. Paragraphs.
Yeah linc, you can borrow one of these (¶) if you need it.
i hope jonzes version somehow makes out to the public so we can see the original version