Earlier this week, Sly Stallone signed a deal to star and produce a couple of action flicks, and one is said to be a remake of The Mechanic, a Charles Bronson flick from 1972.
The original film revolved around an aging hitman (played by Bronson, and now Stallone) who befriends a young man that wants to become a professional killer. [Cinematical]
He’s reportedly considering Ryan Gosling, Ben Foster, Cillian Murphy and Elijah Wood to co-star.
Meanwhile IMDB says the remake will be "totally reimagined as a spy thriller in a post 9/11 world." Now there’s a complicated way of saying a whole lot of nothing. The plot of a 1972 movie transposed to the present day?? OMG I’ve got to totally reimagine this! I think that’s what happened to Stallone – the stress of reimagination caused his veins to explode out of his skin. More freaky pictures here.
I imagined what his boner must look like because I just couldn’t help myself and I literally died on the inside. Once when I was driving, I ran over a dead coyote that was badly decomposed and for like a week afterwards, outside the car I could still smell it just from the tires. I imagine that’s what Stallone’s ejaculate smells like. [Thanks to RoboPando for the tip]
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Lance, you’re killin’ me! Fangoli! (sp?)
Vaffancolo.
I think.
His face looks so lifelike for his age.
"I didn’t hear no Bell’s Palsy."
Was I even close on funabla?
I always thought stallones ejaculate would smell like Margaritas. Well, you learn something new everyday.
Because when I think "Charles Bronson’s protege" I think Elijah Wood. I can just picture him shooting at some guy’s feet and yelling, "Dancy dance!" Which is the same thing I’m going to yell when I shoot the next journalist who says "post 9/11 world."
Was I even close on funabla?
Heard it before, have no idea what it means. Ask an East Coast Italian, us Californians aren’t as up on our slang.
Oh, and I added a poster to this post
[filmdrunk.com]
Can’t really go wrong with Serious Cat.
Can you nominate Lance?
For this: " I imagine that’s what Stallone’s ejaculate smells like. [Thanks to RoboPando for the tip] "
Funny, I thought sly already made this movie and called it
AssassinsDrivenTwins.And I’ve seen Stallone’s dick. It looks much like his arm, only much, much smaller. Don’t forget to cradle da balls.
I can’t believe I typed that. I can’t believe I’m going to hit "Add comment" anyway. I can believe it’s not butter, Fabio, or should I say Lyingmanwhorio.
No Robo, you should say smackedindafacebyabirdio. Kinda wordy though.
Fabio has been smacked in the face by birds twice. Both times it broke his nose. How big must his nose actually be for that to happen twice?
Yeah, I thought about making a gooseface joke, but getting whacked in the face with a bird is temporary. Being a whore is forever. Or at least that’s what my family tells me when they don’t let me be seen in public with them.
I’ve never been smaked in the face by a bird. I had a guy try to teabag me once but I gave him the $20 and let him continue to the next group of bachelorettes.
What? Nothing. Nevermind. I BTK’d that guy.
Jack Lalaine looks pretty good for a nanogenerian.
He looks like Julia Roberts’ hands
but
all over.
Why does ths skin on his arms look like the skin on my balls.
Ball skin is meant for balls Mr. Stallone, give it a rest you big old retard.
I get the feeling that Sly is giving the peace sign to his own reflection. Either that, or he’s asking for two minutes alone in the bathroom.
My question is that shirt he’s wearing. Does he know that Hollister does not actively market to sexagenarians? I mean he’s old, right? That’s Hollister yes? Or Abercrombie. Or Aeropostale or one of those other frat boy brands whose stores I’ve never been in?
Unfortunately I’ve been in those frat boy stores. I have a size 36 waist and they gave me the same look I give extremely obese people waddling into the super market from the parking lot.
‘bunch of cock suckers
He is still trying to figure out the shells. He is letting us know he has figured out 2 of them, not the elusive third shel
MDK
(Silently moves to his closet and starts hiding all shirts with moose and bird logos… fuck, what’s that old rush shirt doing in plain view?)
He’s like a little retarded kid mesmerized by the little bunny play he’s putting on for himself. Sooooo cute!!
Hey man! Fuck you if you’re gonna hide a Rush shirt. Wear that bitch with pride baby! I’ll be at the N.O. Arena (or as we like to call it The Toilet Bowl) on April 19th rockin out with those 3 fuckin Canucks.
Looks like Serious Cat is waiting for some more PETA members to show up and protest that thing on Sly’s head.
That just made my very quiet four-person office wonder why I just laughed so loud, Erswi.
Oh, you meant rush like frat rush right? Got it. Nevermind the previous tyrade by a depraved lunatic.
I won’t bother to add that it took me a minute to get the joke. Geddy Lee would be ashamed of me.
Two of the teachers in highschool had a sort of mockfest going on. Once Montgomery came into Campbell’s class and handed him a twenty dollar bill and said "You were good last night" and whenever Campbell came into Montgomery’s class, Gomer would hit a button on his computer and the A&W bear song would play. He also called him sausage fingers because he was chubby. This is a very long story for me to say, that for a guy injecting testosterone into his
eyeballs, Stallone has some mighty sausage fingers. It’s like his fingers didn’t get the memo that they were supposed to be like a knotty tree.durst?
Yeah, way to go Anti-G
Wha?
My inner child just cried.
I really had no opinion so I had to find one so I took my mind-time-traveler back to highschool.
Sapp & Bennet-Robbins, Oppenheim&Tapp.
I don’t know what you just said Nommy, but I read Baskin & Robbins and now I want icecream. Douche.
Icecream Douche? Tasty.
Sly does kinda look like a waffle cone.
Up with hope, down with lactose intolerancy.
Largest subway systems:
That’s exactly the way my forehead looks when i’m trying to squeeze out the tip of the turd that i know is still in there because the thing floating around the bowl doesn’t have a pointed tip and i can feel it in my intestines just like i did my drunk uncle when i was 5.
All I see is a bloated dead pussy and a stuffed white cat.
"I imagined what his boner must look like because I just couldn’t help myself and I literally died on the inside."
Bastage.