Today on Friday Free For All, FilmDrunk’s official movie reviewer Sexman goes on a rant about Carlos Mencia. Sample:
Carlos Mencia’s comedy is just terrible. All he ever talks about is just Mexican Mexican Mexican Mexican.
If you don’t like Sexman I will fucking fight you. That’s really all there is to it.
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Mpphppppppphhh…
you forgot one "Mexican". there were 5.
racist.
Take it easy. Sexman’s dog died. Probably run over by some filthy Mexicans taking our valuable pizza delivery jobs. Am I right guys? Guys?
Sexman is surprisingly perceptive considering he has no self awareness,
How can you not like Sexman? He’s like the retard brother I drowned and then hid in a shallow grave… um… I mean, never had. Yes, the brother I never had.
Is Sexman a mutant?
If he is, he got his name slightly wrong.
Did Sexman refer to Mencia’s show as comedy?
I’m always hypnotized by Sexman’s tooth configuration. It’s like if he was to open his mouth wide enough, you would see his that his teeth would resemble Stonehenge in both size and arrangement.
GRRRR…Invisalign
BE NICE TO SEXMAN, YOU WORTHLESS COCKSUCKERS!
RIP Snoozer aka Pimp C
Sexman has Zog teeth
This kid is awesome. It can’t be an act but if it is he is a fucking genius.
Oh also…..fuck mexicans. Whats with these people? How fucking bad is Mexico? I see these people all crammed into tiny houses with no God damn heat and 12 kids and they fucking love it. What am I missing? In Mexico do you have to live with a hundred people in a walk in closet? When they get here and they share a 1000 sq ft ranch style with only 25 people are they like "fuck yeah, now I can streach out!".
But my hedges have never looked so good, so whatever.
*Wilford Brimley rips off mask to reveal*
…*gasp* LOU DOBBS! I knew it!
Am I the only one that would buy a Sexman t-shirt?
Sexman would be able to eat krill like a motherfucker if he were so inclined.
I’d buy one too Jack. Hell, I’d even wear it when I had sex. Wait. Is his picture on the shirt or does it just say Sexman?
Sexman has Zog teeth
Zog WISH Zog have teeth like Sexman. Zog insurance no cover dental.
His teeth can’t stand each other.
I don’t know, JHC. Maybe it says Sexman on the front and has his picture on the back?
Or eye.
Does Zog have Geico insurance?
*Wilford Brimley rips off mask to reveal*
…*gasp* LOU DOBBS! I knew it!
super steamy oatmeal scented make out session ensues.
Sexman’s room looks like where they filmed all those beheading videos.
Hey, my teeth were pretty fucked when I was 13 or so, but now? Tiger Woods hangs his head in shame when I smile.
Does Zog have Geico insurance?
HaHa. Zog get it. Because Zog caveman, right?
No. Zog have Esurance. Zog like girl with pink hair and tight pants.
How does Gary Busey feel when you smile? Triumphant.
As long as his picture is on the back I’ll buy one. If my
girlfriendwife was to stare at him while-st I laid the pipe to her, she might orgasmmore thanonce.Heather: where’d you grab that ‘Dawn of the Dead’ avatar?
It’s the fucking tits, dude!!
Hey, my teeth were pretty fucked when I was 13 or so, but now? Tiger Woods hangs his head in shame when I smile.
Tiger’s got a lot of nerve. Just because you can hit a golf ball does not mean you can practice dentistry. I hope he settles for big numbers, Lance.
LMAO ROFL THNX, GRL FRND!!!!111~~
*Pauly pinches nose and runs around through place of employment, SCREAMING*
MEXICAN! MEXICAN! MEXICAN! MEXICAN! MEXICAN!
sexman might have the first case of scurvy since the age of exploration.
8=D – - – - ( @ )( @ )
I wish I had a cool FilmDrunk feud.
Sure, I argue with SuckMeBeautiful!, but that’s like
shooting fish in a barrellooking at fish in a barrelstanding near a barrel.I mostly just tickle/pillow fight everyone.
I bet you that inside Sexman’s head, everything sounds like Peter Frampton’s talking guitar.
Its true, Michelle is the best hairbraiding pillow fighter we have. She also kisses very well. Oops, Ive said too much
And then Tiger Woods hangs his head in shame.
Jack, I’ll fight with you. We can call each other names like "bird rapist", and like, point out each other’s typos and misspellings. Then we can make jokes about those typos and misspellings for pages and pages. People will think we hate each other. It’ll be awesome.
Don’t, stop Eib…don’t…stop…
If they had Sexman shirts with his face on it, I’d make my girlfriend wear the shirt over face like a mask. Those teeth! I can only imagine the type of head Sexman would give.
I’m sorry, Michelle07, but you said ‘Tiger Woods’ and ‘hangs’ in the same sentence, you just got yourself banned for life from the Golf Channel.
That’s all for today’s edition of "This Isn’t With Leather You Dumbass," now back to your regularly scheduled hilarity.
Oh Michelle, I wont tell them what else you are really good at……
Ohh snap, oops, it’s cool Tiger and I are friends. Tiger? Tiger???
OH Eib you are so soft and cuddley
New UP. Wheee
Hey Jacktion! Go eat the shit out of a dead babies asshole with a spoon you bird rapist pig fucking jerkwad!!!
Ha, that’ll get a war star… wait, those are all compliments/liesure tips…
FUCK!
I really want to have a neat FilmDrunk enemy.
Of course, I argue with Jacktion!, but that’s like masturbating on yourself and using tears as lubricant.
I’m gonna need more than 5 Mexicans here. Seriously, I work with alot of Beaners.
Am I the only one that would buy a Sexman t-shirt
No.
Sexman needs to start commenting here ASAP
Peter Frampton has no talking guitar, you fool! He talks into a modulator. Although now that you bring up the concept of a talking guitar…
Yeah, and Mencia sucks. That dicklicker stole my bit about eating the homeless, among other things. Mencia’s one of those guys where if he says it and it sounds funny, then he stole it from someone like me. Fat rasist joke-stealing little beaner. I hope he goes and chokes on three dicks. Gha-gha gha!
Sexman’s so Dangerous!!! If only he could critque my wet dreams. (awwwwww)
He could eat corn through a picket fence.
It looks like his teeth are a bunch of Mexicans, and his mouth is being pulled over by the Border Patrol.
Little known fact: Sexman is a marketing professor at Vanderbuilt. He hints at this fact in his comments about the demographics of the target market of each of the shows.
I could listen to Sexman say "poon-job thing" all day long.
at least he can use his whole finger as a toothpick.
It looks like he tried to chew a live grenade.
Shit… if that writers strike would have just lasted a few more weeks this kid would have had his own tv show. The sexman cometh!
Leave Sexman’s teeth alone. How the hell do you think he got that name in the first place? The last girl that Sexman ate out said that it was like being fingered by three midgets at once.
So I said "Don’t be gross mom."
I’m going to figure out how to audioedit out just the audio for when he says "Rick James bitch!" and then set it as the default ping noise on all the computers at work. This is my destiny. Everything has been leading up to this.
RIP Snoozer AKA Dawg Bonez BTK4Life Wu Tang Clan ain’t nothin’ to fuck wiff YEAHYEAH!
If I weren’t so high, this shit would not be nearly as funny…. but damn is this shit funny.
The word hero is thrown around a lot these days, but Sexman is the greatest hero who ever lived. Mencia is a joke stealing little fake Mexican. He is fucking Polish and his mother is from one of those shitty little Central American countries where American tourists go to be raped. That reminds me…need to go to Panama.
I would rather get a handjob from Captain Hook than watch his show.
That just reminded me of Edward Penis-hands…
Sexman needs to review this. Then he will be a man.
http://www.somethingawful.com/d/horrors-of-porn/edward-penishands.php
I thought Sexman might be Dave Chappelle in white face. The voice is close, and he has that giant gap between his front teeth.
Dave wouldn’t have let it drag on that friggin long though.
Great call, Sexman. Carlos doesn’t count as a ‘replacement’ for Dave… just something that eventually filled the same timeslot. RIP Snoozer.