These pics from JFX online are the latest from the set of Adam Sandler’s new movie Bedtime Stories.  It seems to be raining gumballs in this scene.

It’s about a family guy who tells his nephews bedtime stories which suddenly magically come true. Keri Russel’s co-starring with Adam and the film’s set to release on Christmas day.

No one can open a movie like Adam Sandler. The amount of money he makes studios, he could probably work with anyone he wants.  So who does he choose?  Adam Fucking Shankman, the Stalin of Cinema, whose resume includes: Hairspray, Cheaper by the Dozen 2, The Pacifier, Bringing Down the House, A Walk to Remember, The Wedding Planner, and now this, a rejected idea for a Brendan Fraser movie.

The only explanation I can think of is that Adam Sandler is tired of fame and keeps trying to fail so he can go back to being a regular guy, but no matter what he does, everything he touches turns to gold. He’s like a guy who wants to break up with this girlfriend but doesn’t want to tell her, so instead he does every horrible thing he can think of to drive her away – sleeps with her sister, tells her she’s fat, makes her indulge in the most degrading sexual fantasies – and yet she keeps coming back for more.  At this point, Hollywood’s basically tied spread-eagled to a radiator in Sandler’s basement covered in pig’s blood and dog crap while Sandler shouts from the other room in that weird baby voice, "You know, uh, I always thought it’d be hot to pull your teeth out with rusted pliers."  Open wide!  

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Hey Hey, JLA, why the hell are you still being made? – According to Variety, Justice League of America is back in pre-production and planned for a 2009 debut.  They mention Adam Brody playing The Flash, Common as the Green Lantern, Armie Hammer as Batman, and Megan Gale as Wonderwoman.  Sadly, still no word on the status of Green Arrow.   This epic pile of shit just won’t be complete without fruity dude in a green smock shooting bad guys with a boxing-glove arrow.  I say we get Renny Harlin to direct. 

Superhero Movie Has a Poster – Hey, Pam Anderson’s in it!  They needed a hot chick, and naturally they chose a hepatitis-infected 40-year-old with 12 kids from different fathers.  Based on that kind of judgement, I’m sure this will be swell. 

Barack Obama Wants Will Smiff to Play Him – Dude, think of your legacy!  You gotta go Morgan Freeman on this one.  The man practically sweats gravitas.

4 Fast 4 Furious Set Photos – Here’s Vin Diesel and Paul Walker "acting" in a "sequel" to "The Fast and the Furious".  I think we all know there’s no film in those cameras.  "I need you to get me some serious work!" Paul Walker was heard screaming into the wallet he pretends is a cell phone at his imaginary agent.

The Rock is Playing the Tooth Fairy – Dear Mr. Rock: No one will ever call you Dwayne Johnson when you do movies like this.  Let’s face it, you’re a poor man’s Macho Man Randy Savage.  OH YEEEAHHH!  

That Kid From There Will Be Blood to Exec Produce – Paul Dano will star in and executive produce Gigantic.  When reached for comment, that kid from Dazed and Confused just grabbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head.  (After a quick google search) Holy shit, his name’s "Wiley Wiggins"?  Some parents he’s got.

Pictures of Cameron Diaz’ Box – Haha, tricked you.  She’s actually just starring in a movie called The Box.  You didn’t care either way, did you.  Me neither.

Sorry for the non movie-related tangent here folks, but someone just sent me this promo for MTV’s latest evidence against the existence of God and my face almost melted off.  It’s called That’s Amore, a show in which wannabe star F-ers fight to the death for the right to date some castoff from the Tila Tequila show (casting call above, series trailer after the jump).

This guy is like a local pizza commercial personified.  “Mamma mia!  I wanna puncha heem inna hees face!"  *kisses tips of fingers*

Casper Van Dien is back, baby!

Van Dien was once on the cusp of stardom.  That’s probably why he turned down Starship Troopers 2.  Sadly, he hasn’t been in a movie since 1999 (Sleepy Hollow).   But don’t fret, we’ll get to see him in the theater once again with Starship Troopers 3: Marauder.  What’s that, it’s going direct to DVD?  Oh well, bummer.

I’d still suck a dick to have his chin.  Wait, what? 

[Thanks to WD and Ohad (both of whom also have great chins)  for all the tips today] 

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After the success of Step Up 2 the Streets ("It’s not where you live.  It’s where you’re at."), Disney ain’t be wasting no time.  They done already be planning be a sequel, which am titled Step Up 3-D.  (Presumably it will concern champion Poplocker Darian Darnell Dickerson, also known as 3-D).

The producers of the first two Step Ups, Offspring Entertainment partners Adam Shankman and Jennifer Gibgot, will produce the third. 

Offspring previously produced the Sandra Bullock starrer "Premonition" and just wrapped the Burr Steers-directed "Seventeen" at New Line; that film starred Shankman’s "Hairspray" lead Zac Efron.

This week, Shankman began directing the Adam Sandler starrer "Bedtime Stories" for Disney.

Among the projects that Offspring is developing at Disney are "Undateable," a comedy scripted by Jack Angelo and Sam Brown (with Fuse Entertainment also producing); "Monday, Monday," a Flint Wainess-scripted comedy that is a teenage "Groundhog Day"; "Wish," a live-action "Aladdin" scripted by Bill Kelly ("Enchanted"); a Jason Filardi-scripted "Topper" remake that Offspring will produce with Mandeville, with Steve Martin starring; and a Don Scott-scripted remake of "All of Me" that has Queen Latifah attached to star. 

This just in, Adam Shankman is worse than Hitler.  I’d be convinced that last line was supposed to be "a Don Knotts scripted remake" if Don Knotts weren’t dead.