Opening April 18th, Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the latest Judd Apatow-produced comedy to hit theatres. It was directed by Nicholas Stoller, who previously directed Fun with Dick and Jane and somehow still has a job.
Judd Apatow movies can be awesome when they’re inspired, like Knocked Up and Superbad, or they can be mediocre and sort of set up – punchliney like Talladega Nights. Forgetting Sarah Marshall, starring Jason Segel (who also wrote the script) and Kristen Bell, is looking mostly like the latter, though the punch lines do at least seem mildly funny. But you know what’s not funny? Animal shelter overcrowding. Spay your fuckin dogs, asshole.
Also, in the future, I’d like R-rated trailers to have something naughtier than someone saying “pubes” and a guy’s bare ass. What am I, five? What’s a guy gotta do for a little exposed labe every now and then?
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FIST!!!!!!
Thats it cocksucker! I’m telling Docless Leasha to come over here and give you a good dose of what-for!
Chod, the shingaurds connect in the back.
Hmmm… let me guess, that fat kid follows the lead around and makes funny quips about pussy and beer and then falls down and somehow gets laid.
Are you reading my bio, Crap?
When he runs out of ideas for making the same movie over and over, does he stop then? Or does he go the Seagal route and start making the same movies, but with rappers?
Just rooting around in my own past a bit there PD. Except the getting laid part.
comic gold = fat, short guy + thin, tall guy.
case in point: twins
I take it i’m alone in thinking it looks kind of funny?
Netflix worthy at least?
I always somehow get laid.
i once forgot about a girl named alexis marshall: true story. i tied her legs and arms together, gagged her mouth, stuck her in my truck and then TOTALLY forgot about her! whoopsies!!!
The smell will always remind you Chod.
now it will- at the time, i spent four weeks trying to find the “hidden” bag of fries under my seat.
At first i thought the fat Jew kid was funny, but now i’m getting tired of looking at his face. kind of like Bryce’s grandma after sex, you know?
Jonah Hill is the new Fatty Arbuckle.
“Judd Apatow-produced”- it’s the same idea behind post cereal making grape-nuts.
*chodin at the post factory*
chodin: ” look, you cock-apes! you fucking got it right with ‘fruity pebbles’, but that doesn’t mean you can go off and try to fucking pass off ‘grape-nuts’, alright?! shit tastes like the obituary section of the newspaper!”
I bet a good hard kick to the scrote would have him forgetting about everything outside of his throbing junk pile. Always works for me. Where will I get the money for the morgage. TWACK! Ooooohhhhh shitoutta cunt my fucking baaaaaallllllsss! Poof! All better.
crap: your avatar looks like the oatmeal guy.
and it’s making me want to watch “ewoks: the battle for endor”.
Just watched the trailer. This isn’t going to be awful, but they probably gave away the best stuff. I think that this will be amusing, possibly even entertaining. A great cable movie, a good rental, maybe even matinee-worthy.
That is in fact Mr. Wilford Brimmley (sp?) who did not fuck a midget in a ewok suit when her had the chance and has been haunted by that fact ever scince.
He also failed to kill Tom Cruise in The Firm, for which I have never forgiven him.
You kill one woman by puncturing her bladder while raping her and you automatically get labelled the new fatty arbuckle. So typical.
*chodin and the doctress labia leave the movie theater after watching “forgetting sarah marshall*
doctress: “why’d you keep uppercutting me in the face?”
chodin: “because i fucking hate you.”
END SCENE.
When are you two just going to hate fuck each other and get on with the healing?
Cunt punch much?
i will never extend a hand of compassion to that retard, let alone my penis-splint. scary part is that she’s about 3 miles away from me right now…and i can smell her “unfunny” in the air.
I saw you walk in on that radio show and show her what shingaurds are really for.
shinguards are usefull for one thing, and one thing only: making your arms look like the foot soldier arms from ninja turtles.
but bitchforks *cough* pitchforks, shit bitch, you can do anything with a pitchfork.
Tell me they did NOT just steal the Caddyshack song for this fucking cocktorch movie.
Many sins are forgiveable, fucking animals (dead or alive), killing women and children, drunken gay romps…but the line has to be drawn somewhere. Judd Apatow is a dead man. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS!
Chod – except load a tractor trailer with bowling balls.
Sopping up the runoff from her cooz before it hits her Manolo knock-offs and disolves the plether?
jacktion! : point taken…
*chodin turns back to his “pitchfork” schematics*
chodin: “come on chodin, we’ve almost perfected this bitch!”
he looks great in this pic. I have seen his photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named "Searching Millionaire.com".
Seems he has joined it for several months now.
I use pitchforks to eat my ramen soup.
He is so handsome. he posted his personal ad on a celebrities dating site called "SearchingM illionaire. com". I just visited his profile page. Seems he is very popular there.
I used to like Hawaii. Until I realized they had a holiday devoted to Spam, and that they don’t accept traveler’s checks, and that when dogs bark twice in Hawaii it means no. Go figure
It’s sad when you aren’t worth the snatch you sit on.
Jonah Hill is so damn annoying.
(The Jews are ashamed)
Also, is he wearing ben-wa balls around his neck?
Someday I will learn to put all my thoughts in to one comment…. until then… FUCK YOU!!!
no my friend, FUCK MIKE!!!
I was going to write this huge ranting blog about Disney Porn, but I decided I wasn’t pissed off or drunk enough.
Forgetting Sarah Marshall: The Natalee Holloway story
forgetting sarah marshall: sort of like jean bennet ramsey, but with a fat/skinny guy combo and a lot less laughs.
*that’s the complete title*
I would gladly pay $10 to watch a three hour film of Kristin Bell peeing on a house fire. I like her is what I’m implying.
I heard that dude put on like, 75 pounds for this flick! Call the Hollywood Foreign Press!
After watching this trailer, I think it looks like the kind of movie I’d let a girl drag me to and then make a scene halfway through the movie when she tells me to stop trying to finger her butthole. Whore.
Pretty sure my stoner buddys TOTALLY want to see this! I mean, Judd Apatow TOTALLY cracks me the fuck up! TOTALLY.
*Click*
I give a fuck less about Sarah, and that Hebrew stole my “funny fat guy” schtick.
Those shirts are rationally ugly. See: dialogue from the film: "I’m going to go to some island to forget Sara-with-an-h and wear muted hawaiian shirts because I’m so sad. Mourn." :*( *strangles self with lei* FADE TO BLACK.
Throw in Matthew McConaughey and call it "We Are Forgetting Sarah Marshall".
Sarah with an "h" pwns Sara with no "h"!
It’s like anne without an e. (sounds like "It’s like anne without annie) It’s just plain sad.
Anyone get the Anne of Green Gables reference? ?? ??? ????
Al, you don’t count.
*smiles and nods*
Is that a sincere smile and nod, like you know what I’m going on about, or is it a "that bitch be crazy" smile and nod. Or both.
I’m too tired to hear the thrilling conclusion of smile and nod. Same bat time same bat channel same bat cliches.
*smiles and nods*
http://dirtyhairy.blogspot.com/
Two new posts, yIntaghs!
Wait! Did I ever tell you guys about how I burned my leg using those vibrating anus eggs?
I’m watching you. Fek, you should be ashamed.
Lala, I’m ashamed and disgusted that I didn’t get the reference. But even more, I’m petrified with fear that I don’t count.
C’mon… Anne of Green Gables… Anne of Green Gables?
You know what I mean.
Ann of Green Gables. Know what I mean?
Ashamed? The only thing I am ashamed about is that time I tried to get a dog to blow me. Even at that, the dog is dead now, so who cares?
Not ashamed of the … what was it… anal eggs sexcapade? Oh no I guess not, you keep telling us about that ;)
Seriously, though, I wonder what Chino thinks I should be ashamed about? The Top Ten List? The Anal Eggs? My life in general?
My thigh hurts!
Made you paranoid, did ? Someone has a guilty conscience. Come clean!
Hey, let me know the next time you get burned on the thigh! It DOES fucking hurt! And having it done by anus eggs is so humiliating. Sometimes I feel so lucky!
What? I own up to anus eggs and bestiality and you want more?
Well, I used to cross dress to masturbate sometimes.
This girl in grade school tried to kill herself and I made fun of her.
I used to call this special ed kid "gay" and he became anti-social as an adult.
I have used a penis pump before.
I once looked at the guy in a magazine to see if it turned me on.
I used to call this retarded kid "Hungry".
I like leaving my socks on during sex.
This kid I used to beat up at my babysitters turned into a criminal and was shot down by police.
I once laughed at a pedophiles dick.
More?
I guess this is why people avoid talking to me.
Was the pedophile’s dick your own?? Now that would be a confession.
I’m more interested to know if the "socks" he likes to wear during sex are of the fishnet variety. What with the alleged cross-dressing and all.
That poses a good question, Al. I, myself, prefer the trusty tube sock. Ladies love it!
Best Tall short white guy combo EVER:
Harry and Marv, from Home Alone 1 (all of the sequels are shit)
Just throwing it out there.
My favorite part was when Marv burned Harry’s thigh with the battery-powered anal eggs.
What the hell is it with the socks? take off your socks guys, we tell our friends about it and laugh, i swear to god.
chino, the beauty school bisexual boyfriend left his socks on.
Eib, Chino, did we all date the same guy?
So did mine. But so did I, so it’s all good.
No, they must have been clones I think. They would never let him in Canada. You guys have some standards
Did your guy give you the clap? If so, then maybe. But in all honesty, mine could’ve been the paperboy so who knows.
Mine got into Canada. Took me to Epcot where he proceeded to steal my money. You?
Wow. Really thought the Home Alone claim would drum up a little more animosity.
My ex-girfriend gave me the clap.
Everytime we had sex.
That is exactly how good I am in bed.
Really thought my Home Alone claim would drum up a little more animosity. I can’t compete with tube socks.
But then, no man can.
It’s getting hot in herrr…
Thankfully no STDs. He was just dumb as a box of dicks
although, he did make out with a guy i had a crush on when we werent together.
I’ve had a weakness for tube socks ever since my parents got that 3 months of free Showtime and I found out they played Showgirls every Thursday night
Tube socks and bushy eyebrows gets ‘em every time. I’m telling you.
Mine was a guy dressed up like a Klingon that I met a a Star Trek convention. I think it was Fek.
Oh Al. Mine was just a little gothic crazy thing.
What’s wrong with socks? Seriously! I have poor circulation, and I’m just trying to spare you womanly types the agony of my cold feet.
Also, you’d feel really guilty if I lost most of my toes to frostbite.
Not to mention if we missed the bloodflow to the "unit". I hate it when that happens.
SOCKS ON!!
I wouldnt. I would laugh at your stubs
I would call you Stubby McShorttoes
i would call you Stubby McNo Chub!
And I would call myself sad. :(
Maybe that’s good, then. It’s better than my current nickname of Stubby McShortdick.
Cold feet = warm dick. Or was it cold hands = warm heart. I always mix that one up.
Ouch, sorry to bring up painful feelings, Stub
Why is it always the women + Jacktion! who have the stamina to carry on the threads into the wee hours? Jack, you’re an animal. I daresay, I wouldn’t mind if you left your tube socks on.
Shucks, Al. You’re making my penis blush.
If your penis can blush, then you don’t have a problem with blood flow. Take the socks off already!
Why is it always the women
+ Jacktion!who have the stamina to carry on the threads into the wee hours? Jack, you’re an animal. I daresay, I wouldn’t mind if you left your tube socks on. For the hair braiding.Fixed
My bad. It wasn’t blushing. It was rug burn.
Today was naked wrestling Monday at the YMCA.
Hey, they dont have that at my Ymca
I am jealous
Jack! You should have said YWCA.
(gay)
well, since its Texas, I guess it would be "nekkid" wrestling, y’all.
Seriously, I thought it was a sterotype/exagerration, but they all say it. I cant stand it.
It’s not gay. That’s how it was done at the original Olympics! I’m a traditionalist.
Tell that to your nekkid, rug-burned, blood deprived penis, traditionalist.
You mean "Nekkid ‘rasslin"
oh, yeah. who is that in your picture, jack? looks like tippi hedren
Look, a lot of people have made fun of my poor circulation, Chino! So what? Yeah, I sleep in feety pajamas, but I sewed the trap door shut!
<——– 50 points to whoever can name her.
ok, that would be too cute, i swear
The trap door is the best part! How could you?
That is a her??? For real?
Deborah Kerr?
Because one of the buttons fell off, and my butt always hung out.
Kim novak?
Yes Chino, that’s a her. And she is quite gorgeous.
Ok, fine. You don’t like the game. Let’s go back to the feety pajamas.
MOre clues please
Tuesday Weld
I know nothing about her other than her name.
I cant beleive i couldnt place it. she is awesome
Tuesday Weld it is. 50 points to Eib.
Well wiki her and give us some clues, fucker. God, if you want us to play, you’re not being very hospitable about it.
Ok, Chino OUT! See ya’ll!
Nevermind. Slow on the uptake, as per usual. Minus 50 points to Al :(
Cheerio, Seattle’s Best.
hey, apparently she shagged Dudley Moore. They had a kid together. ew
Well, I’ve lost all respect for her now.
By her, I mean Chino.
i dont know, i like the funny guys. I always wanted to marry Steve Martin, and had a huge crush on Bill Murray, but I never found Moore attractive. eh
Wasn’t Dudley Moore that cute, twitchy, bee-stung guy fawning over the Braided One in Ten? Damn, now I’m thinkin’ we REALLY need to have a braiding, lingerie pillow-fight party.
Coincidentally, that Tuesday av just allowed me to complete two of this past weekend’s newpaper’s crossword puzzles. Thanks, Jack.
I prefer to think of him as the drunk with Liza Minelli in Arthur.
Tuesday Weld was in two crosswords in a week?
I always get him mixed up with Martin Short and Dustin Hoffman. I have no idea why.
Yes Jack, there are five, count ‘em, five crosswords in the Sunday newspaper here. I’m that much of a geek that I endeavour to complete them all. Actress "Tuesday …" was the clue in two of them. I owe you a drink for that – here, have a shot of whiskey.
Mmmm… whiskey-licious!
I should endeavor to go to bed. I will see you on the morrow, Al.
You shant endeavour to go to bed without the superfluous "u", Jack. That would make for a chilly evening. Best bring your tube socks.
I hate you all!
My girlfriend had her tube socks tied, so now I have to get new ones….
Good morning jock straps.
Shit, I knew that was Tuesday Weld because of Matthew Sweet 9she was on the cover of Girlfriend).
watched the trailer. I would let my wife drag me to this as a "date movie" as long as I knew she wouldn’t call me out for drooling over Kristen Bell the whole time. Also, Judd Apatow needs to get some new friends, I’m getting tired of the same goofy looking assholes in every movie.
I don’t proofread of spellcheck before my second cup of coffee.
Judd Apatow is the new Adam Sandler. He uses the same formula:
Take 1 part your friends + 1 part movie script. Lather, rinse, and repeat.
Jesus Fuck how many movies do we need with that Fat Fro Jew from Supershit?
DIE OF A HEART ATTACK YOU UNFUNNY TUB OF GOO!