ENGLISH TRAILER FOR ‘MONGOL’
02.01.08
Ever since Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, I’ve been hoping for a Genghis Khan movie. Mongols are up there with pirates and vikings when it comes to potentially awesome movie subjects.
And I’m hoping that, since this wasn’t produced by Jerry Bruckheimer, the Mongols will be depicted as the sword fighting, pee-drinking, rape-happy savages they were, and not lovable rogues who talk to animals and solve ghost stories.
Unfortunately, I don’t know much about the director, Russian Sergei Bodrov. At times like these, I turn to racial stereotyping. My call is that Mongol will be bleak, stoic, and unnecessarily brutal, and will let you marry its beautiful daughter for $5,000 American dollars. You heard it here, folks. (opens in limited US release in June)
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Vikings would kick mongols asses. And we were the most romantic rapists womankind has ever known.
if this movie is subtitled I may burn the theatre down
The projector will probably break halfway through.
Mongos? Yeah I love those crazy bastards. Usually we keep them chained up but sometimes we let them out of their cages…
Mongos
A whole bunch of them climb off their bulls and knock out a few horses
That movie Nomad that he directed is by far one of the worst movies ever made. I have low expectations about this. If it’s anything like his last movie it will have annoyingly simple plot lines, awful cinematography and staging, and dialogue that would make George Lucas vomit.
Isn’t Mongol the planet Ming the Merciless lives on?
In Soviet Russia, Mongol movies direct YOU.
Ok, I think I’m done with Yakov now.
I feel another Alexander coming on
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoa! Drizzt Do’Urden is in the banner pic! QAPLAH!
http://fantasyhall.narod.ru/images/drizzt/drizzt_do_urden_001.jpg
See! Drizzt!
Not to be confused with Mongoloid, starring that dude from Life Goes On.
A mongoloid attacked me in a hotel pool when I was vacationing in Puerto Rico. I grabbed a squeaky toy tied to a brick, gave it a few squeezes and threw it in the deep end. They’re still scooping his forehead outta the filter
I got punched in the nads by a 5 year old while I was on vacation once. What? Not relevant? Fine. MONGOL. Better?
Darn it Luch. I was going to make a Mongoloid joke. Something about the Mongoloid army which only managed to succeed in their campaign of not to wetting the bed and the comparison of plastic sheets to the Great Wall of China. It would have been awesome. You ruined it all.
-to. My prepositions get out of hand when I am upset. Ruiner.
GOd I love you, AGB. And I’m just saying that.
The Mongols were my favorite ’80s band. Who doesn’t still light up when ‘Walk Like An Egyption’ comes on the radio?
Well done with the Drizzt reference Fek.
Did Mongols smell like deep fat fryers too?
Open the door, get on the floor, everyone walk like an e-gyp-tion
I knew a Mongol named Lorenzo in middle school. He would walk up to all the girls, point at their crotch and yell "Fish! Fish!". Some things you just don’t forget.
The tagline from the movie:
Don’t despise a weak cub, it can appear the son of a tiger.
Aren’t baby tigers called kittens? because they’re cats? What kind of Mongo-naming system is it when a baby dog can grow up to be a tiger. Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
For those that don’t know, Drizzt would whip the Mongols asses.
cubs are baby bears. Not dogs. And wiki calls them cubs too.
What a weird world.
Nobody steps on a church in my town!
Nope, AGB. A baby tiger is a cub. I know this because, in kindergarten, I was a member of the Tiger Cubs. It was sort of like a fraternity for wanna-be cubscouts.
That’s retardiculous.
Let’s not talk about baby animals anymore. I don’t like the lack of consistency.
Drizzt has a magical panther that is his familiar. They kill together. It’s pretty phat.
The panther also has the most fucked up name in existence: Guenhwyvar
The Mighty Fek’lhr knows a lot about Drizzt.
Fact: Drizzt turned down a chance to bang his sister. WTF????
it works 60% of the time, every time
New post down.
Mongolian girl band: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVCHaVsM0bA
*junior high locker opens- chodin climbs out*
good morning fuckers!
I always piss people off. Now I know what Mike feels like.
chodin: Your buddy set one on a tee for me over there so I gave it a good whack.
Don’t worry Luch, you get a pass because of the Scorsese thing.
*chodin laces up his snekaers*
stinky: what fucking thread, hombre!?! i’m running to go see right now!
Yea, you bailed on me last night. Thanks for leaving the $20 on the dresser, though.
Britney is "Gravely Disabled". Nothing personal against her, I just have zero impulse control when people feed me straight lines like that.
True story: not long ago my wife was complaining about her stomach, which is a bit… let’s say "fleshy"… due to her having carried twin boys to full term. As she looked at herself in the mirror, she said "Everything is all flabby now that I don’t have any little men in there."
Have I mentioned how comfortable my couch is…?
Tiny horses…in the sand…dootie dootie doooo
pete: i love you like a retarded person loves yellow hats.
well played sir, well fucking played.
*chodin dabs the corner of his eye….with his own dick*
via desktop dictionary: (mongol) offensive affected with Down syndrome.
TRUE STORY!!!
chod-Best be giving DH his props, too!
http://www.wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=3469&page_number=2
(about 2/3 of the way down)
SOUND THE CUNT TRUMPET!!!
*BRRR-BRRR-BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!*
Holy shit I hope I didn’t need those blood vessels.
Dor sho gha!
*starts pencilling in cunt-trumpet*
I thought we toke care of all the Mongol problems in Afghanistan, wait why is Bush making nice with them now?
Great to see a picture of the great Al Leong there. The archetypal oriental henchman from many an Eighties action movie. I gues the Mongols are the exception to the rule about not getting involved in a land war in Asia as they totally kicked ass in their prime. Ah, the Mongols. "Mongol only pawn… in game of life." heheh