02.13.08 DAKOTA FANNING IS NO SKINHEAD

This was just the plot of a recent LAW AND ORDER SVU.

…..I heard…..from a gay friend……who likes that show….

No way.  I actually remember when the parents who had a child to be a marrow donor for their older daughter was all over the news.  

Jack told you? ahahhaha

I mean, it’s totally cool that he’s gay. So don’t go all ACLU Rainbow Coalition on me. I’m so lonely right now. So. Lonely. I NEED TO GET OUT OF CANADA NOW!!!

Is Dakota Fanning gonna have to choke a bitch?

Luch, why are you in Canada?

So, since she won’t shave her head for a role, I can assume that we won’t be seeing her topless anytime soon.

i see this as the final rung on Dakotas childstar ladder. Pretty soon, she will be flashing her vajayjay, talking about the good old days, and taking out an ad in Variety.

Is it against the law that Dakota start growing tits and hips like a real girl?

Catch me tonight, on To Catch A Predator 

I already caught you, Im Chris Hansen

Something something Dakota Fanning "rimjob".

All kids should shave their head off once just to see if they have a bumpy skull or not, or if they have those weird skin folds where their head connects to their neck.

She isn’t the cutest girl to start with, but her sister is uglier than a mud fence on a rainy day.  Geez!!!

The Mighty Fek’lhr is NOT a skinhead, either. They don’t care what your hair looks like under them white pillowcases.

By shave their head off I meant shave their hair off, but for Dakota I mean shave her head off and put it on a pike.

I miss the good ol’ days when movie directors would kill a puppy just to get a child actor to cry. 

don’t know about y’all, but i’m thinkin threesome

I’m glad that Dakota is getting parts taken from her by that little slut from Little Miss Sunshine. She’ll be giving backstage buffers in no time.

Dakota Fanning is a cum guzzling whore.  And by that I mean, "Dakota Fanning is a cum guzzling whore."

Eib, work. (Is why I am in Canada)

I can’t say specifically….but we’re buying something.

I am just going to say what we are all thinking: Isn’t she a bit young to need to shave?

Fek, if there’s grass on the field…….

My parents conceived me so I could provide an implant to the cute girl next door.

…and did she ever like being implanted…….

If she’s old enough to crawl, she’s old enough to bleed!

Reese Witherspoon would have volunteered her kid for the part.

Erm, sorry, crossed sites with that reference, carry on….

No, wait!

If she’s old enough to bleed, she’s in the right position! 

If she’s old enough to have sex with me…..then……gunga galunga?

If she’s old enough to be tied up…..she’s old enough to be gang-banged.

Lets just pretend I didnt say that there.

I wonder if Alec will be as friendly with these young girls as he is to his daughter. One day Breslin will be all like "Hey Alec" and then he’ll just snap, call her a whore throw her down a flight of stairs and then blame Kim Basinger.

3 facts about Nick Cassavettes:

1. Was in negotiations to write a screenplay for a remake of his father’s film, The Killing of a Chinese Bookie (1976) for New Line Cinema with Brett Ratner set to direct in 1998. The project never got made because Ratner made The Family Man (2000) instead.
2. He was nearly a foot taller than his father John Cassavetes.
3. Is a gifted speed-reader.

Cameron Diaz? Did they change the ending the story so the mother swallows her young whole? Fuck her. I read the book, it was sorta decent in a sappy PMS way despite being blatantly ripped from a real story. I might have watched this, but my curiosity to see it go from book to movie will not overpower the desire to set the screen on fire as soon as Diaz makes an appearance.

Y: That little slut from Little Miss Sunshine is going to be a hottie when she gets older. Dakota Fanning, on the other hand, is creepy looking.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Chris Hanson just showed up…

I’m not saying that Sofia Vassilieva has a set of DSL on her…. because that’d be wrong.

“Snitches get stitches.” Da-Kota.

Their make-up is by Costco. Looking absolutely stunning in “Winnebago White”.

Somebody start a countdown to age 18 for Dakota.  I’m not good at math.  My cock, however, won the nobel prize for coming up with the answer to the question, "How many cocks can fit into Rosie O’Donnells smelly gash?"  Answer.  None.  She sticks charcoal briquettes into that abomination, does a few jumping jacks, reaches back into the abyss and pulls out a diamond.  A blood diamond.