DAILY ROUNDUP: JLA STLL BEING MADE
02.27.08
Hey Hey, JLA, why the hell are you still being made? – According to Variety, Justice League of America is back in pre-production and planned for a 2009 debut. They mention Adam Brody playing The Flash, Common as the Green Lantern, Armie Hammer as Batman, and Megan Gale as Wonderwoman. Sadly, still no word on the status of Green Arrow. This epic pile of shit just won’t be complete without fruity dude in a green smock shooting bad guys with a boxing-glove arrow. I say we get Renny Harlin to direct.
Superhero Movie Has a Poster – Hey, Pam Anderson’s in it! They needed a hot chick, and naturally they chose a hepatitis-infected 40-year-old with 12 kids from different fathers. Based on that kind of judgement, I’m sure this will be swell.
Barack Obama Wants Will Smiff to Play Him – Dude, think of your legacy! You gotta go Morgan Freeman on this one. The man practically sweats gravitas.
4 Fast 4 Furious Set Photos – Here’s Vin Diesel and Paul Walker "acting" in a "sequel" to "The Fast and the Furious". I think we all know there’s no film in those cameras. "I need you to get me some serious work!" Paul Walker was heard screaming into the wallet he pretends is a cell phone at his imaginary agent.
The Rock is Playing the Tooth Fairy – Dear Mr. Rock: No one will ever call you Dwayne Johnson when you do movies like this. Let’s face it, you’re a poor man’s Macho Man Randy Savage. OH YEEEAHHH!
That Kid From There Will Be Blood to Exec Produce – Paul Dano will star in and executive produce Gigantic. When reached for comment, that kid from Dazed and Confused just grabbed the bridge of his nose and shook his head. (After a quick google search) Holy shit, his name’s "Wiley Wiggins"? Some parents he’s got.
Pictures of Cameron Diaz’ Box – Haha, tricked you. She’s actually just starring in a movie called The Box. You didn’t care either way, did you. Me neither.
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Will Harry Knowles get the Ty-D-Bol Man part????
Ummm, I totally mentioned the JLA nonsense like 3 posts ago. Sheeesh.
Now, they need to do a remake of They Live with the Rock, and his legacy will be complete.
Lance, why is this the Weekend roundup on Wednesday? Are you trying to tell us something? Or have the drugs kicked in? what?
why is the post named ‘weekend roundup,’ lance, are you taking two days off???! hmmm??? ANSWER ME!!!
why am i so angry towards lance? maybe i have pent up sexual frustration towards him. idk. faggot.
http://www.globalpackagegallery.com/main.php/v/household/laundry/Tydbol.jpg.html
Fuck, today’s not Friday?
I got nothing
Does this weekend roundup thing mean i don’t have to come to work tomorrow?
Lance?
*sits back easy as all the non-existent nominations for Ty D Bol Man come rolling in*
I was also wondering about the Weekend Roundup thing. Does this mean we will be forced to comment on this thread through til Monday? Or was some new international date line instituted that I’m unaware of that only affects the USA?
*Chodin squints at computer screen*
Fuck dude…somebody throw me a dick joke or something.
Lance, you’re a worm hole
chode: heather+dicks
GO!
Damn, that chick in the picture is smoking…not to be confused with Heather’s vagina which is also smoking. Quick, get her out of the sun!
Heather believes that dicks can take your temperature.
Pickup Line:
Hey baby, I hope you dont get cancer – cuz you’re smokin’!
Ok, which one of you posted this?
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/497575004.html
Awww cause their ain’t no sex like the zombie sex cause the zombie sex don’t stop!
errr i mean IOWNKNOW GETOFFMYBACK
im reading these ‘best of craigslist’ posts in the comp. lab at my school and people are walking by staring at me as this 24" fuckn computer boasts "HOT ZOMBIE SEX" "JUST FUCK ME NOW!"
alright dickriders. im off to…
pick up chickmasturbatethink about picking up chicks while masturbating. drunk ON!!The pose that she’s in looks quite a bit like I do the morning after a night of spicy pork rinds and PBRs. Except for the tits and long hair. Oh, and the toned legs. Shit, and the sweet ass. Forget it.
In the banner pic, she totally looks like she’s dropping a deuce in the invisible lavatory on the invisible jet.
Chod- I put you at a -145 favorite in a cage match with Heather in an earlier thread.
I have yet to take any action. :(
That chick takes the hottest shit.
On my chest
its like 98.6° ?
4 Fast 4 Furious: worst sequel name since The Whole Ten Yards.
The Rock as the Tooth Fairy: according to the link, it will be directed by the same guy who did Santa Clause 2 and 3. I hope The Rock blows his salary for this film on hookers who give him an incurable venereal disease.
JLA: If they gave Wonder Woman an invisible costume to go with her invisible plane, well, that’s just Penelope Cruz / Scarlett Johannsen lesbian love scene Woody Allen level genius.
The other stuff: meh, I gave all my shits at the office.
That chick takes the hottest shit.
On my chest
WITH BLOOD!!!
FIXED¡
I just bought car insurance from Erin the Esurance girl and flogged my dog the entire time to the images of Erin in spandex doing split legged backflips over robots thinnly disguised as lazer eyed cocks.
Technology is a wonderful thing.
Pop Quiz:
What word does Kieffer Sutherland hate?
I don’t know what -145 favorite means. And Luch is correct. See you at my next potential fever, baby cakes.
What word does Kieffer Sutherland hate?
haveyoubeendrinkingtonight?
It’s like Hollywood just isn’t evern trying anymore. Or pretending to try. Or paying someone else to pretend to try. I guess everyone who didn’t get an Oscar just woke up this morning and said, "Fuck it" and then started looking on CraigslistBangkok for something in a
sizeage ten.Heather, I would never face you in a cage match…lords knows you’d give me a massive stubble burn.
*Chodin winks, flicks a lit cigarette into his mouth and gives Heather the ol’ guantanamo bay, double-handguns*
It means you’d have to bet $145 to win $100 on Chodin.
I’ll pledge my vote to whichever presidential candidate declares the making of Superhero Movie to be a kind of treason and promises to summarily execute every single person involved. And their families.
SuckMe, please forgive Heather – she has a hard time understanding sentences without the words “hey, you, suck, my, dick, for, seven, dollars, kazam” in them.
Chod- That’s why you are the favorite.
*Chodin flexes in the mirror- mirror shatters into pieces*
Cho, is Dub not performing his spotting duties lately? do you need a hug?
And, by the way, I would so push that button.
I’m glad you decided against the cage match. Going through with it could have been a mistake. Like the night you were conceived.
And massive stubble burn? Come on, silly buttons. You kiss your own ass enough to know you’re impervious to the stubble.
Alright, I’m off to suck my way up the corporate ladder. Bye!
Heather, you and I both know that it’s impossible for me to reach my own ass with my lips.
Remember the gay yoga class you dragged me to?
Shit chod, you have mad skills with the ladies. Teach me! Oh, please teach me! You’re like the Tucker Max of FilmDrunk!
Um, yeah, that was suppoosed to be Daily roundup. My bad.
Don’t worry Lance, I doubt anyone noticed.
Tucker max’s real name is Mike.
FUCK MIKE!!!!!
FUCK MIKE!!!
Crap, it’s all about respect. If you really want to get the ladies, you need to remember respect and then totally don’t have any of it.
<look of wonderment crosses face, falls at the feet of the sage>
…stupid bitches…
GodDAMN I need a drink. this was he worst workday EVER. I guess being the best in the buisness is a gift and a curse.
Pauly, homeboy Dennis Rader was one of the best…look where it got him?
Can you read the avi,Chod, or is that pic too small?
cause nigga it’s BTK everyday all day to the day I die
I’m creepin through yo set with a mini mac 10, AR15 rugga
RADER NATION!!!!
Eib, this is my favorite part of that ad you put up earlier –
I am specifically looking for someone with *zombie experience*. In San Francisco, I don’t think this is asking a lot.
Having spent time in San Francisco I’d say this is the truest statement I’ve ever heard. in. my. life.
*Pauly chugs entire tall boy of Bud Light, slams it on his desk and burps*
A job aint nothin’ but work.
Oh and while I’m thinking about it (which is always) BTK4LIFE NUKKAS!!
::Jack walks in with keyboard imprints all over the side of his face::
Somebody switched my vitamins with Tylenol PM.
Again.
*Chodin scribbles on a candy heart*
I
BTK
U
This question is right up your dirt pipe Chod:
What do you say to a girl when she queefs while you’re making fuck?
Hey, i’m halfway through diligently reading all of these posts and Lance goes and corrects the headline, thus rendering my potential "Woohoo, three day week" post redundant. Lesson learned; no more reading anyone else’s posts.
im back!!!! has lance replied to my veiled threats yet? no. well fuck him.
i heard that paul walker secretly wants tyrese’s carbon fiber exhaust tip.
Pauly, I just sit up in bed, start to laugh, toss her shoes to her and then say aloud, “Jesus Christ, my friends are going to laugh so hard at this” .
…real question is: what do you do when the chick is on top and pukes?
…better question: how can i get her to do it again?
Well it happened to me last night. I was switching positions (ya know how I do *wink*) and she let one loose. She looked back for my reaction and I could tell she was embarassed. So I said in a "latin lover" accent "Now ju talking to me baby. That, I like!".
Try sticking your fingers down her throat.
one word chode: 4girlsfingerpainting.com
have that shit playing whilst
making loveand she’ll be throwing up on your chest THE WHOLE night.I like queefs because they smell like your dick, and some other dudes nut! Huh guys…
oh shit. i was supposed to put something else after the strike out, ha? hmm…feel free to use any of these verbs:
rapeing, molesting, boinking, giving her the ol’ 1-2, rap….
just as I’m reading these queef comments some chicago songs came on my playlist, its perfect romantic synchronization
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand durst!
Now what if she queefs, but she’s been dead for hours?
A queef is just the vagina’s way of sitting back like a huge, fat Italian guy after a satisfying dinner and belching out the belch of the truly content. That’sa spicy ameataball!
just as i’m reading these comments, i queefed…it’s like an interactive thread.
Rot, it’s like you’re my
vaginainner monologue.Next question on "The Moment of Truth":
If you can queef a song, what song would you queef?
And yes, I like to picture the vag as a fat Italian guy. That doesn’t make me
gayNew Jerseyianan IROC ownerfascist does it?Pauly: ‘tears in heaven’
Pauly Dangerously queries: If you can queef a song, what song would you queef?
"Under Pressure" by
QueefQueenI would queef The Ballad of the Edmond Fitzgerald and then go down to the local boobie club and make the strippers dance to it at gunpoint.
If you can queef a song, what song would you queef?
"I Love Rocky Road" by Weird Al
How about Our God is an awesome God.
WWBD, ‘Tears in Heaven’ would only be appropriate if she had pooped a little after anal.
The theme music to Night Court.
I’d queef the theme song from “Jurassic Park”.
1812 overture, and at the part were the cannons fire, you kidney punch her.
I think I’d do "21st Century Schizoid Man" by King Crimson, or at least the last 3 minutes of the song.
Anything by Melissa Ethridge
ANOTHER FAST AND THE FURIOUS… HMMM… MOVIE PRODUCERS GET THE BEST HEAD.
I’d queef techno…all day, every day.
I think The Goose needs to use his "inside voice".
fun fact: the goose is loose.
id queef………anything that alanis mourisette has ever put out.
And I would glow stick to your queef techno, whilst rollin’ on E.
*rubs nipples at the very thought*
I see you "Tears in Heaven" dub, and raise you "Stairway to Heaven".
I’d requeef that Robbie Robertson song that had the video with all the robots. Then I’d remake the video with a bunch or robotic vaginas shooting flamming ping pong balls through burning hoops and call it The Robgina Flamapongs. For the promo tour, I’d get Jane Fonda to call Larry King a cunt.
I’d queef Halloween sound effects.
The theme to 24 starring Queefer Sutherland.
sorry about that, it’s just that i finally have the internet after a year of living on a boat, and i like this site, so i decided to join the community, there’s some funny people on here, i hope i can keep up, lol
I would queef the bagpipes.
Wait, you mean "Stairway to Heaven" wasn’t already done by a bunch of queefs? A queef is a douchebag from England, right?
I Think I Love You, as sung by Queef Partridge of The Partridge Family.
Anything by 70′s teen heartthrob Queef Garrett
I’d queef "White Rabbit" by Queeferson Airplane
And the Red Queef’s "off with her head!"
Remember what the dormouse said:
"queef your head
queef your head
queef your head"
id queef….’black magic woman’ after ive rolled in charcoal.
goose, get a fuckn avatar. your comments will not be validated until then.
…oh fuck…these pun games.
I’d queef white lines after I keister’d some coke.
Not the song, actual white lines.
How about a song by the Muppet Show band?
Dr Queef and the Electric Mayhem.
I’d queef cat meows so that during sex i could go, “was that your pussy? ”
WAKKA-WAKKA-WAKKA!!!
The Queef Mathews Band, Don’t Drink the queefa.
B.O.C Dont’e fear the Queefer
"I Love Rocky Road" by Weird Al
Jack! -WTF? I never said anthing mean to you :(
Pink Queef’s epic The Dark Side of the Poon
Dont’e
^that’s drunk for don’t
Pink Queef’s epic The Dark Side of the Poon
Would you sync it up with The Wizard of Oz?
Al, who the fuck are you? ive seen you on here like 14 times already and still dont know who you be, b. are you bk? because if you’re bk then you’re pretty funny. bk is that you? is that you bk? come on, you can tell ol’ opa dub.
I am Malcom X
Dub, I am not BK, although I’m blushing profusely right now that you’re comparing me to her.
… and if you’ve only seen me here 14 times, you’re either really drunk or just not paying attention. I will accept both.
Al, I figured that would be an easy one because there are hand farts all through that song.
do i know you from somewhere? why do you call me dub? do you like falco? chode where the fuck are you hombre?!
Hold the goddamn phone…BK is a chick?!?
Seriously, like for reals you gays….I can’t handle this shit anymore. I propose 3 avatars: dicks for dudes, pussies for chicks and Kurt Russell for me.
Oh, and DUB gets to keep Tango of course.
I’m sorry if my mention of that song offended your feminine sensibilities. I won’t get in the way of your enjoyment of a good queef joke again.
But Craptastic uses a pussy sometimes, and he’s a dude!
now i have an avatar
What about the hermaphs, Chod?
No Pauly, I’d sync it with a video of me rampaging through a Wal-Mart attacking people with a pole saw.
holy shit guys, its the fuckn goose!
pauly: now that’s just mean, they like to be known as ‘god’s horrible mistake’ or ‘chicks with
longer dicks than medicks’Pauly: “they” get to have a pizza as their avatar.
I call it how I suck it, dub.
Ya, but my pussy is hogging the couch, the remote and drinking a beer. So it’s trying to be a dude.
Which is what I should be doing right fucking now.
Crapout
question: im still in the computer lab and im trying to rub one off to the pic lance put up. now, i already look like a pervert every time i refresh this page so i dont think theyll care if i try to rub one out. what do you guys think?
Rub it
pauly i knew you and i thought alike.
::dub slides hand down pants::
let er rip
Of you get caught, just stand up and act as if you’re looking for your wallet. Then blame the person who caught you for stealing it.
I know the riff is over but fuck it, I’d queef "I Can’t Get No Satisfaction" because I love me that Queef Richards’ guitar riff. And it would probably be true, coz I’d make a pretty ugly chick.
I want a leather baseball hat
Why is the new guy not using Anthony Edwards as his avatar? I axe ya!
am i the new guy ??
Ummm, if you have to ask then yes. You are.
The new guy should use the new guy from the movie the new guy
Duck, Duck, Duck, GOOSE!
Sorry Dub, I call you that because Nom, Jack and others in the… you know… speak so fondly of you. Didn’t mean to confuse ya. Not my fault you weren’t around when I was "inducted".
And I don’t know what the hell it is that gets some you guys so weirded out about some of us being chicks. Ever talk to one in real life?? We’re really not that scary.
is "inducted" code for "raped in" if so then i did miss it and if indeed i did miss such an event then i declare it null in void and if i just declared it null and void….ah fuck
Dub, in case you’re still going to town in that library:
KEEP DUBBING!!!!!!!!!
my mom said that "girls" are just here because god wanted to have something beautiful to share with his kingdom, and right after my dad told her to make dinner and wash the dishes.
useful fun fact #4: blistex medicated lip balm with spf 15 makes a GREAT impromptu lube.
your ass won’t feel a thingYes dub, inducted is indeed code for raped in. Sorry you missed it. It was quite the event. We’ll be sure to notify you next time it comes up.
i hate you guys.
peace!
I, for one, am stoked for 4 Fast 4 Furious. The first one was actually a lot of fun. Sure, they just took the Point Break script and changed "surfboard" to "car" and "bankrobber" to "truck-robber," but since I’ve been wishing for a Point Break sequel for years I didn’t mind.
The fast and the furious movies were actually just a continuation of another theme. "Rad", "Thrashin", "Airborne". Only replace bicycle/skateboard/rollerblades with cars. Oh, and add one douche and one bald guy.
I like Vin Diesel in anything. Why? Because I like shitty, shitty movies. Just like I enjoy my women.
Sorry to say it but I am NOT with cocaine on this one.
But there is a difference between good shitty and and bad shitty.
Like shit on your briefs and shit on your dick.
That’s some funny shit, Lance. I LOL’d, just a bit.
I can finally, after over a week, do this *breathes deeply*. Byaaa! By the way, GI Joe is going to suck cacti.
GI Joe=Justice League A.+wine.
Nominus, if you are saying "Thrashin’" is one of the greatest movies ever made, I’m totally with you.
Seriously, though, I wasn’t joking when I said F&F just replaced certain words in Point Break’s script. All of the plot points are the same: the young FBI agent infiltrates a group of extreme sports enthusiasts, learns how to do what they do, becomes enthralled with the group’s guru, falls for the hottest chick in the group, goes native, tries to pin it on another group of extreme sports enthusiasts, eventually is found out, and basically forced to participate in their next crime.
The only difference? Point Break killed Bodie, while F&F let a wounded Vin Diesel ride off into the sunset. I was kind of hoping the point was he died of his wounds, like "Shane," but that’s obviously not what happened.
But yeah, "Thrashin" is pretty rad. That and "Gleaming the Cube."
I hate Vin Diesel. really a lot.
2 Fast 2 Furious
4 Real?
The reason I’m always “Big Game Hunting” the chubby chicks around last call at the bar:
2 Drunk 2 Care
I think Barack Obama should get the Rock to play him. Besides the fact the two names rhyme and The Rock kinda sounds like Barack when he speaks. "Can you Smellll el el el el el what Barack is Cookin?"
Zog think Zog have chance with slutty cartoon schoolgirl from IMVU.
I’m going out on a limb and saying heather is indeed not a woman. He’s trying to hard with all the cute girl avatars, and some skank blowing a bunch of dudes. Not that I care one way or the other, I’m just putting my two cents in, and you better count my change back to me…..
Well she wouldnt be my girfriend if she was a chick! Ewwww gross!
There’s only one way to settle this Luch.
::grabs luch’s hand and sniffs his finger::
Hmm. Either she likes ass play or you just took a shit and wiped with your hand.
Well it is 9 AM. So….both.
BTW JC, my avatar is a tribute to you.
Its sort of a combo of you and me.
Sweet. She’s a keeper then. Your homage will be duly noted when it comes time for judgement Luch. Much love.
Sup Homes?
I glued my special lady friend’s tits together last night… with Man Paste!
*jumping High-5!*
she is sexy. i want to see more. by the way, i report a red news about a controvercial site, SugarmommyMeet.com. it is designed specially for rich women who want to meet more charming and handsome men. to my surprise, it becomes the outstanding dating site recently . Thousands of new good-looking members with good background FREE to join daily to meet dream date there!!!!
Comedy is when a superhero finds out his mortal weakness is a positive test at the clinic