Following up on yesterday‘s unsubstantiated rumors of Brett Ratner taking over Wolf Man, the Hollywood Reporter has a rundown of all the candidates vying for the job.
Brett Ratner, Frank Darabont [The Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption], James Mangold [3:10 to Yuma, Walk the Line] and Joe Johnston [Jumanji, Hidalgo] have either met with the studio and producers or are expected to do so in the coming days. Bill Condon [Dreamgirls, Kinsey] also is a helmer the studio is keen on.
Jesus, if they have their choice of these guys and they pick Ratner, I swear…
The biggest challenge the studio faces is its inability to work on the script because of the writers strike. Any filmmaker coming on board takes on a locked script, overseen by Romanek over several years, and many directors want to put their stamp on it. Martin Campbell [Casino Royale] is one helmer who was interested, but he is no longer in contention. Another potential wrinkle is star Benicio Del Toro. The actor, known to be choosy with parts and directors, might have a say in the process.
I knew there was a reason I liked that guy.
Many on the list are writer-directors, but Ratner is not [in fact he's probably illiterate]. The director, who met with the studio Wednesday, is emerging as the strongest contender because of the fact that he has experience in taking over a project that has lost a director late in the game. Ratner famously took over "X-Men: The Last Stand" after Bryan Singer flew the coop to direct "Superman Returns."
"Our normal babysitter flaked at the last minute, so we got Brett Ratner. He ate the children, raped the dog, and burned the house down, but if you need someone on short notice, he’s your guy. He has experience taking over at the last minute."
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oooOOOOOOh! NOW I get it! LOL!
It’s a good thing Ratner took over at the last minute. Otherwise, X-Men3 might have sucked.
Lance has been scraping the underside of every industry rag to come up with a reason to use that captioned Ratner pic in a larger format… Well done!
Joe Johnston is definitely the odd man out
Jumanji? Hidalgo? Fail.
XMen 3 literally made me cry. It figuratively made me burst into flames.
^ see how I used literally in the right way. I didn’t say it literally made me burst into flames.
True story – I was a ‘second string’ best man for my friend’s wedding.
I fired the maid of honor and found a new one. She couldn’t walk down the aisle without tripping, but she was HOT.
Del Toro: Hemamdfn ejfiej eufhae[0gt8e gurhuganjnaue8 e8fhegpr sheeeet audnfju ya know?
Translation: I’m not working with this guy, ya know?
I like him. seems saw him on a celebrity and millioniare dating site millionairefriends.com. He looks good.
I love random pronouns. Him…
I can’t be bothered to finish that thought.
SS, being hot makes up for a whole lot of things.
Hot girl: "Oh, sorry Pauly. I drop a terd in the tank of your toilet."
Pauly: "Hey, potayto potahto."
She….
I did like Ratner’s film "Coming Home in a Body Bag."
Hope it’s Darabont. He’s a huge fan of old horror films and would go the extra mile to make sure this remake doesn’t totally suck a CGI dog dick.
Hey, Lance Mangina! You know how WWTDD has a really good post moderator to help get rid of pesky spammers for DollarMenunaires.com
and ruin everyone’s fun?The Mighty Fek’lhr has an extensive background in forum moderation if you need help, HaDiBah!
School is cancelled. Yay!
i once took over a game of contra at the last minute…
…i fucking died right away too, cocksuckers.
i wouldn’t even let brett ratner direct my dick up his ass…lord knows he would fuck it up, and then i’d have to spend another summer in a penis-splint.
Penis-splint?
::hacks into the dirty hairy blog, ruins everything. Adds penis-splint in the wrong section::
up up down down left… you know how it goes.
Chod, he couldn’t direct his dick up his own ass.
[whispers] He’s asexual.
Well I’m going to that millionaire dating site from 12:01 and see me some of those fat ugly black prostitutes. Usually I have to drive into the city for those kind of perks.
True Story: I was watching a talk show and some vapid actress was on to talk about her ancillary role in some pile of shit film and she starts on about how Benicio del Toro was a dick, because; She saw him at a bar talking with Ed Norton and goes over to tell him how much she loves him. She annoyed him, so he looks at her and says, "I’m in room ###. Do you want my key?" She gets but hurt and leaves. Now, this is why Benicio Kicks ass. This dumb cunt was annoying/interrupting him so by saying that only two things would happen, 1) She would leave 2) She would leave with his kwey and when he was done he would have tail-onDemand waiting in his room.
Benicio = Boosh!
Oh and, sup bird rapers?
You know, nom, you could have just asked.
The Mighty One would have told you to go fuck yourself, but you could have asked.
i wouldn’t let ratner direct a group of blind students across the street.
ratner: “okay, everyone just go straight forward…that’s right, use your walking sticks.”
*brett pulls his scabby dick out and starts to beat off*
ratner: “right, RIGHT! now everyone start jumping around!?! just everyone start jumping! JUMP, you blind fucks, JUMP!!!!”
*brett tosses a bunch of steaks into the intersection*
Don’t worry about it fek. I always thought your blog should have all the words replaced with "penis-splint" anyways. I did you a favor. Vandalism. It’s the rich man’s drug.
Benicio in Fear and Loathing is my only real male role model.
My ex girlfriend nicknamed me penis-sprint. I couldn’t tell if she was mocking me because she was Asian.
How does one make a penis-splint? I would imagine duct tape and popsicle sticks.
I would just superglue it to my leg for a week or so. That would make it all better.
i’d just keep it in my sister’s mouth for a week.
wait-i have a sister!?!?!
Adjective for Brett Ratner movie: ratnarded.
What is it with you guys McGivering up peni-splints? How about some Plaster of Paris… no your right, anything names Paris is toxic to Peni. Carry on.
What is it with you guys McGivering up peni-splints? How about some Plaster of Paris… no, you’rE right, anything names Paris is toxic to Peni. Carry on.
Fixed.
Frig. Past tense!
I heard she was like a vaccine. If you had sex with her and lived you could no longer contract any STD’s. I’m pretty sure that’s just science.
SMB… circulating blood must be a bit of a challenge for you. Licking subway seats cures cancer.
has brett ratner killed more children than movies? discuss.
AGB- My town has a monorail. Will those seats work?
I was going to have John Wayne Gacy traumatize my kid, but that cunt flaked on me to go dress up as a clown, rape and kill a gay guy – Luckily enough Ratner said he could take the job he’s done it before.
There’s been no trial yet for the kid killing crusader, so we have to use the term allegedly killed more children than movies. The answer: yes, he has killed more kids than movies, because his movies kill children’s souls. Soulless children are like empty pinatas, not worth beating in the first place because there’s nothing lost for the beatee and nothing gained for the beater. Ergo, killing souls > killing soulless bodies.
AGB- My town has a monorail. Will those seats work? No. But monorail seats cure elephantitis. (40
Good to know.
Because licking pay phones sure doesn’t.
There is no commentary that beats yours. That assessment was perfect.
There is no commentary that beats yours. That assessment was perfect.
I know our commenters mostly talk to each other on here, but… was this directed at me? If so, I’m crying a tear of joy. If not, a tear of embarrassment.
Which part was most perfect? Where Ratner fucks the dog or eats the children?
Indeed. Clarify, god dammit.
According to wiki 120 million people have elephantitis, 40 million have a severe form of it. Weird. More people have severe elephantitis than live in my country.
I love him very much. I heard from my friends that he joined celebrities and wealthy club "S earchingM illionaire. com". recently. I really expected that I can meet him there.If so, I could share my ideas with him.
Wow. Filory is really trying hard to work that website in there. Brett Ratner doesn’t have ideas. He has moments of Ratnardedness.
I really expected that I can meet him there.If so, I could share my ideas with him.
Jesus, is this website paying foreigners to spam for them? Searchingmillionaire dot com should definitely fire filory. Or, whoever wrote the operating system that filroy runs on, should be fired. Whichever it is.
Try Harder.
Hey Lance!: Would it be okay if I started doing a schtick where I sometimes work crappy endorsements into my comments? Or maybe create a character for just such a thing? Seriously, I’ll give you 7% off the back end of whatever I make from it.