WOLF MAN TO GET RATNER-ERD?
01.31.08![\](http://www.filmdrunk.com//ul/1055-Wolfpack.jpg "\")
That’s right, folks, question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will humans land on Mars? Is purple the new pink? Would this monkey let me squeeze her tits for a banana? No one can say for sure, and that means we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee ha!
The latest disturbing rumor comes from CHUD and AICN, who report their sources are telling them that the new director of Wolf Man is that tubby pile of mongoloid monkey shit Brett Ratner (X3, The Rush Hour Movies, Money Talks). I’d like to think Wolf Man stars Benicio Del Toro and Sir Anthony Hopkins wouldn’t be too keen to work with this burrito-loving mouth breather, but I’m not sure if they have a choice. Hey, I hear Chris Tucker is available.
On the plus side, if you create a popular viral video of yourself saying “I’m the wolf man, bitch,” there’s a 50-50 chance of him actually working the line into the movie. Maybe they’ll put his name above the title like they did on Rush Hour 3. As if the people lining up for Rush Hour 3 are going, "Ooh, hey, another Brett Ratner film – I just love his work. Such a talent. Such an auteur." I’d like to think they’re going to Rush Hour 3 because someone clogged the toilets at the truck stop. I’m a baseless elitist like that.
I THUMB MY NOSE AT YOU, BRETT RATNER! I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR! Ruffians like you are the reason I always keep my top hat tilted forwarded at a pugnacious angle and a stiff cane at the ready.
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Rush Hour 3 was just one of the worst films I’ve ever seen
I hate him with every fiber of my being.
I sincerely hope Lohan gave him some very serious panty crickets. you KNOW that man wears panties. Probably cheap ones too…I just threw up a little in his mouth.
He porked Serena Williams. I just wanted to share that image with everyone. In my mind it’s looks like Chaka sticking it to KoKo the gorilla.
Lon Chaney Jr. just rolled over in my back yard.
The latest disturbing rumor comes from CHUD and AICN…
Lance, how many times do I have to tell you – do not trust entertainment gossip that comes from a Carnivorous Human Underground Dweller.*
I can’t possibly be the first to make that joke, but I’ve never heard of CHUD before…
The latest disturbing rumor comes from CHUD and AICN…
Lance, how many times do I have to tell you – do not trust entertainment gossip that comes from a Carnivorous Human Underground Dweller.*
I can’t possibly be the first to make that joke, but I’ve never heard of CHUD before…
SS-The Mighty One thought the same damn thing.
I try not to give the braindead fanboy community more publicity than they get already, but what can I say, they got connections. And I don’t. Probably has something to do with me calling everyone a fucking idiot all the time.
Probably has something to do with me calling everyone a fucking idiot all the time.
But, Lance! There aren’t any idiots in the motion picture industry!
My sources told me Brett Ratner has purchased a sensory deprivation chamber like Howard Hughes, but instead of water, he’s filling it with bacon.
Lance – ABC baby – Always Be Connecting.
You may also want to befriend a writer who’s not crazy and/or has not alienated every big name in LA.
You see, Donny? You see?! This is what happens, when you FUCK a stranger in the ASS!!!
(Brett Ratner gets to Direct a movie)
You can alway take my other suggestion – fabricate connections and hype. Get behind our upcoming Atari Trilogy – the feature length film potentially starring Jason Statham, Megan Fox, and (most recently) the kid from Third Rock.
The press is already calling it a potential "Summer Blockbuster".
Why do they let him do this? He has left his fetid cumstain on way too many sheets in the past few years.
It’s official. God hates me and loves Brett Ratner. Eh. I didn’t want to get into heaven any-damn-ways.
All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.
You can alway take my other suggestion – fabricate connections and hype. Get behind our upcoming Atari Trilogy – the feature length film potentially starring Jason Statham, Megan Fox, and (most recently) the kid from Third Rock.
The press is already calling it a potential "Summer Blockbuster".
It’s true, you know. The buzz is all over the internet. My sources are telling me it’s probably the best writing in a screenplay of a videogame(s) adaptation ever.
I just really wanted to say fetid cumstain. i find it soothing
What about "Street Fighter"?
I kid, but if i was Raul Julia, I would be livid that "Street Fighter" was the last movie I did and was dedicated to me in wake of my death. LIVID!
Why don’t they just go ahead and have seth macfarlane start directing every movie. Ever. At least then we would have one person to hate, instead of The ratners, mcg’s and boll’s.
The Mighty Fek’lhr wonders if a Wolf-Man would shit like a normal person (sit on a toilet, sit on a face, sit on a chest), or if the Wolf-Man would get on all fours and hunch his back like a dog?
If the latter, does he keep a plastic bag with him to pick it up?
Speaking of which, just what the fuck happens to them plastic bags dog-owners carry around? Creepy!
It’s a shame, because Nom and I had long discussions with Heath Ledger about starring in our upcoming smash hit. He was totally into it.
We’ll probably dedicate the film to him.
i hope chris tucker is in thsi one too
Speaking of which, just what the fuck happens to them plastic bags dog-owners carry around? Creepy!
Ebay.
Stone, have I ever told you that you are a fucking genius? Because that last idea makes me cry about how stupid I am to have not thought of that.
As long as Heath stars as a throw rug your production is still on.
Okay, not the last one. The heath ledger one. Genius.
Stone, I fucking hate you.
Speaking of which, just what the fuck happens to them plastic bags dog-owners carry around? Creepy!
They fashion them into baubles, then put them in the oven, like Shrinky-Dinks.
Sorry, Pauly, SS done stole the thunder on that one!
Nom –
Do you ever just get down on your knees and thank God that you know me and have access to my dementia?
Yes, I found out. That’s what I get for proof reading. A day late, and a dollar short.
You nicknamed your penis ‘dementia’? Fucking weirdo. I’m starting to regret sucking on your dementia now.
Yes Fek, I found out. That’s what I get for proof reading. A day late and a dollar short, story of my life. But ’twas a valiant effort, no?
oh shit lost season 4 premiers tonite, so that means im not gonna check this page again until I’ve seen it cause i know you fuckers will spoil it for me
Hey, pauly and tana are both rockin’ Reservoir Dogs. And pauly picked buschemi? Fuck. I don’t like this game. Crybabies.
OMG – I heard that there will be three references to the FilmDrunk ‘Atari Trilogy’ during the Lost premier – one for each story.
Then one of the main characters gets eaten by a tree frog.
its elevator action, asteroids and whats the other one?
Yeah but Bex is the dirty rat cop, and I’m the fuckin’ professional.
fuck you just let me watch Lost Boys here and we’ll fucking discuss it later
Double Dragon
its elevator action, asteroids and whats the other one?
Pitfall. JJ Abrams is currently being considered to direct that portion. We’ll see how he pulls off the Pitfall reference on Lost. I hope he has someone skipping across a swamp on aligator heads.
gaygay should have kate in booty shorts jumping over a swamp then falls and gets all dirty and has to take her top off… i’ll brb
I hope he has someone skipping across a swamp on aligator heads.
That sounds like an event on MXC.
DON’T GET ELIMINATED!
Oh thank god. And here I was thinking it might suck.
You guys wanna hear my idea for a film adaption of the video game Pong? No? Go fuck yourself.
it’s 2 girls 1 cup
Really, where’s Warren Zevon when you need him?
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion on Page 2 of the comments!
Jeez, not one person complimented "I don’t know how to use lapels"? I thought that was gold. Maybe I’m losing it. Maybe I should drink less coffee before I write this stuff.
Lance, I couldn’t read that picture. It isn’t til now that I know what it says. And, I still don’t get it.
You know… cuz he’s smiling… and his lapels are all fucked up… *sigh*
I think he’s stylin’. LOL!
Here’s the direct link to a bigger version of that picture, if it’s coming up too small for you to see.
http://filmdrunk.com//ul/359-brett_ratner.jpg
I will hit you with your own pimp, beeeeatch!!
http://filmdrunk.com//ul/359-brett_ratner.jpg
BONG!!!!!!
My girlfriend had a teratoma in her uterus. When the surgen removed it, the damn tumor directed Rush hour 3 and banged Serena Williams in the ass.
adios ass-bleeders.
time for ol’ chodin to go endure a fucking work meeting til’ 9:30. please can someone be sure and fuck DB’s dead nazi mother for me, tell the DURSTenites what aweful people they are, and please, please, please be sure to let the doctress labia know that her sense of humor tested HIV positive for “aweful”.
with love,
chodin
Did I spell surgen wrong, wait…yup it’s actually spelled "Knife Doctor"
http://z.about.com/d/oldies/1/0/U/2/wolfmanjack.jpg
why isn’t he in this?
ps, I laughed at the lapels thing.
“I’m the wolf man, bitch,”
"I want this mother fucking wolf off my mother fucking man." Hmm. Lacks the panache of "snakes on a plane."
By the way, I liked the Brett Ratner pic so much I forwarded it to all my email contacts with "LOL Lapels" in the subject header.
It’s a shame Shatner is an actual name and not another term to use to describe Ratner’s shittiness, like Schmuckheimer.
Ratner must have done the same "Which Pulp Fiction Character Are You" test that I did.
*Robert Preston bursts through the fucking wall, says, "You were my second choice" then calmly exits out the front door.*
OH SNAP!
Second Nom’s BONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That picture was defintally funnierer when He couldn’t read it.
"Did you guys see X3? Most of those actors are totally Shattnered after that movie. They might never work again."
chod-you betta recognize!
(just in case you didn’t figure out what He meant, He did what you asked)
I just googled a PF test. I’m Fabienne…silence…yeah, exactly.
Ruffians like you are the reason I always keep my top hat tilted forwarded at a pugnacious angle and a stiff cane at the ready.
Lance is a dandy. Awww… Just remember blue and green, never to be seen, and trucker hats=extra chromosome(s). It’s in the bible.
Leviticus 6.9
Austin 3:16
Giuliani 9.11
Bacardi 151
Pigs 69
?
Fibonacci 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144
Cloverfield 2
My IT guy is called John, his phone extension is 316. I wrote ‘John 316′ on a post it note, left it on my desk, then went for a shit.
<> Nothing funny happened, people just assumed it was reminding me that Johns number is 316
My wife and I saw the movie Juno last night. I wrote a short review for you –
Juno is about a man named Mac who deals with something many people would be unable to – Heating Ventilation and Air Conditioning (HVAC for short). The film focuses on his skills, and his devotion to the trade. This theme takes center stage in several key scenes, but is most pronounced when a woman (I believe she was considering adopting Mac’s 16 year old daughter’s unborn baby) asks him what he was ‘born to do’. Very proudly, he declares – "HVAC". This nearly brought a tear to my eye.
Other impressive moments portray Mac diligently working on what appeared to be a Fasco D166 blower motor at his kitchen table. Using only basic hand tools, we are left to simply assume he was triumphant in his repair attempts. That wasn’t where the suspense ended, though. At the end of a long, hard day, Mac is telling his troubled 16 year old daughter (I don’t remember her name) that he spent his day inside a building’s system that could only be described as "An Octopus" – CAN YOU IMAGINE? I was disappointed not to see footage of this condition.
That brings me to my only complaint. The film makers chose to keep us guessing about technical details of Mac’s handywork, and instead spent too much time with the insignificant side story of Mac’s daughter’s illegitimate pregnancy and her emotions – as if anyone would believe that a 16 year old girl would be having sex! Come on Hollywood, treat us adults with some respect here.
Juno was a good movie, overall, though I’d like to know where they got the name… The actor that played Mac can be seen as the lead character in Spiderman 3, where he single handedly runs a city’s largest and most important newspaper!
He also played a neo-nazi in Oz and was on broadway for a decade.
Oh thank god. And here I was thinking it might suck.
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I’m Suzy, I live out there in Denver..to be precise colorado..have you been there?..I spent my infant years in the state..5’9 Tall..Friendly..We are different people has wet get to met different people everyday..As you know that life is not about finding the right person, creating a right relationship. All can view my crazy hot photos at interracialloving.com by searching "hotbabe".
Wow. Wow.
Did you actually type that? Because I’m thrilled to finally meet someone responsible for spam like this. I’ve always wondered what the fuck it’s supposed to mean. I get emails from people with wierd fucking names, then open them up to find unreadable jibberish like you just posted. I think to myself – is this marketing? Is this a threat? Is this a scam – I just don’t understand.
Please take a second and explain yourself, and I’ll be happy to go to your website and give you the click you need for advertising cash. I just want to know why you don’t write an actual intelligent ad for your front? I’m just not sure if you are a businesman, or a mentally challenged prisoner locked in a sweat shop somewhere trying to send secret code…
Mpphmphoo…Polly O sounds suspiciously like Polio…no thank you ma’am.