01.31.08 WOLF MAN TO GET RATNER-ERD?
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That’s right, folks, question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will humans land on Mars? Is purple the new pink? Would this monkey let me squeeze her tits for a banana? No one can say for sure, and that means we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee ha!
The latest disturbing rumor comes from CHUD and AICN, who report their sources are telling them that the new director of Wolf Man is that tubby pile of mongoloid monkey shit Brett Ratner (X3, The Rush Hour Movies, Money Talks). I’d like to think Wolf Man stars Benicio Del Toro and Sir Anthony Hopkins wouldn’t be too keen to work with this burrito-loving mouth breather, but I’m not sure if they have a choice. Hey, I hear Chris Tucker is available.
On the plus side, if you create a popular viral video of yourself saying “I’m the wolf man, bitch,” there’s a 50-50 chance of him actually working the line into the movie. Maybe they’ll put his name above the title like they did on Rush Hour 3. As if the people lining up for Rush Hour 3 are going, "Ooh, hey, another Brett Ratner film - I just love his work. Such a talent. Such an auteur." I’d like to think they’re going to Rush Hour 3 because someone clogged the toilets at the truck stop. I’m a baseless elitist like that.
I THUMB MY NOSE AT YOU, BRETT RATNER! I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR! Ruffians like you are the reason I always keep my top hat tilted forwarded at a pugnacious angle and a stiff cane at the ready.
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There are 82 comments about:
WOLF MAN TO GET RATNER-ERD?
Rush Hour 3 was just one of the worst films I’ve ever seen
I hate him with every fiber of my being.
I sincerely hope Lohan gave him some very serious panty crickets. you KNOW that man wears panties. Probably cheap ones too…I just threw up a little in his mouth.
He porked Serena Williams. I just wanted to share that image with everyone. In my mind it’s looks like Chaka sticking it to KoKo the gorilla.
Lon Chaney Jr. just rolled over in my back yard.
The latest disturbing rumor comes from CHUD and AICN…
Lance, how many times do I have to tell you - do not trust entertainment gossip that comes from a Carnivorous Human Underground Dweller.*
I can’t possibly be the first to make that joke, but I’ve never heard of CHUD before…
The latest disturbing rumor comes from CHUD and AICN…
Lance, how many times do I have to tell you - do not trust entertainment gossip that comes from a Carnivorous Human Underground Dweller.*
I can’t possibly be the first to make that joke, but I’ve never heard of CHUD before…
SS-The Mighty One thought the same damn thing.
I try not to give the braindead fanboy community more publicity than they get already, but what can I say, they got connections. And I don’t. Probably has something to do with me calling everyone a fucking idiot all the time.
Probably has something to do with me calling everyone a fucking idiot all the time.
But, Lance! There aren’t any idiots in the motion picture industry!
My sources told me Brett Ratner has purchased a sensory deprivation chamber like Howard Hughes, but instead of water, he’s filling it with bacon.
Lance - ABC baby - Always Be Connecting.
You may also want to befriend a writer who’s not crazy and/or has not alienated every big name in LA.
You see, Donny? You see?! This is what happens, when you FUCK a stranger in the ASS!!!
(Brett Ratner gets to Direct a movie)
You can alway take my other suggestion - fabricate connections and hype. Get behind our upcoming Atari Trilogy - the feature length film potentially starring Jason Statham, Megan Fox, and (most recently) the kid from Third Rock.
The press is already calling it a potential "Summer Blockbuster".
Why do they let him do this? He has left his fetid cumstain on way too many sheets in the past few years.
It’s official. God hates me and loves Brett Ratner. Eh. I didn’t want to get into heaven any-damn-ways.
All things are subject to interpretation whichever interpretation prevails at a given time is a function of power and not truth.
You can alway take my other suggestion - fabricate connections and hype. Get behind our upcoming Atari Trilogy - the feature length film potentially starring Jason Statham, Megan Fox, and (most recently) the kid from Third Rock.
The press is already calling it a potential "Summer Blockbuster".
It’s true, you know. The buzz is all over the internet. My sources are telling me it’s probably the best writing in a screenplay of a videogame(s) adaptation ever.
I just really wanted to say fetid cumstain. i find it soothing
What about "Street Fighter"?
I kid, but if i was Raul Julia, I would be livid that "Street Fighter" was the last movie I did and was dedicated to me in wake of my death. LIVID!
Why don’t they just go ahead and have seth macfarlane start directing every movie. Ever. At least then we would have one person to hate, instead of The ratners, mcg’s and boll’s.
The Mighty Fek’lhr wonders if a Wolf-Man would shit like a normal person (sit on a toilet, sit on a face, sit on a chest), or if the Wolf-Man would get on all fours and hunch his back like a dog?
If the latter, does he keep a plastic bag with him to pick it up?
Speaking of which, just what the fuck happens to them plastic bags dog-owners carry around? Creepy!
It’s a shame, because Nom and I had long discussions with Heath Ledger about starring in our upcoming smash hit. He was totally into it.
We’ll probably dedicate the film to him.
i hope chris tucker is in thsi one too
Speaking of which, just what the fuck happens to them plastic bags dog-owners carry around? Creepy!
Ebay.
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