01.31.08 TYLER PERRY TYLER PERRY TYLER PERRY

Just as long as they keep Mo’Nique behind closed doors, it’s fine with me

I don’t know what any of this means.

I’m scared.

Hold me.

You know when you hear about a natrual disaster halfway around the world, and you feel bad because its effects are simply not good for the planet, but ultimately you really don’t care that it happened?

This is a lot like that. 

Get yourself together, L.L. Cool Jacktion!.

BUM Equipment?

Like for a Colonoscopy?

BUM Equipment?

Like a a bundle tied onto a stick?

you are correct sir!!

Its ok Jacktion!   just breathe

BUM Equipment?

Like a 1983 Yugo?

You know when you hear about a natrual disasterBaliwood movie halfway around the world, and you feel bad because its special effects are simply not good for the planet, but ultimately you really don’t care that it happened?

This is a lot like that.

FIXED!

Okay, I’m tired of Tyler Perry. Can we please talk about David Lynch again?

BUM equipment?

Like a flaccid penis? 

I just like saying ‘Bum’…

BUM Equipment?

Like boxing gloves and a wife named Adrienne?

"You’re a BUM, Rock…  A BUM!" 

Dor sho gha! Let The Mighty One guess:

• There will be a sexist pervy dad/uncle figure
• The women will gossip
• All of them will sing and dance/pretend they have rhythm
• Someone will say "Aw Hell NO!"
• (At least) two family members will get into fisticuffs
• There will be at least one scene involving alcohol/smoking
• Someone will be afraid of dogs
• Someone will make fun of white people
• One of the women will be gigantically fat with a monstorus ass

To all African Americans of this nation!!! Thanks Hollywood for doing you this service!

*for a printable version of this "Whacky Blacky" movie checklist, please press Ctrl-P now* 

In Soviet Russia, equipment bums YOU!

Ok, so, um, why is it that black men think that dressing up like a fat old woman is the funniest thing ever? seriously, did we learn nothing from Mama’s Family?

If I have a date with a black negro spear-chucker African-American girl, would it be racist to take her to see The Lion King on Broadway?

no, it would be racist to take her to this movie.

Or Roscoes Chicken n Waffles.

seriously, did we learn nothing from Mama’s Family?

I learned that Vicki Lawrence is hot, even when she’s dressed up like bryce’s grandmother.

Jacktion! you are even scarier than I orginally thought.

And you people dare call Jacktion insensitive…  Shame.

i can’t even see the word "Cloverfield" without wanting my $12 back.

if a giant monster ever attacks new york and any of you shove a camera in my face at any point during the life threatening ordeal that ensues, i will feed you to the fucking thing myself. bunch of fucking douchebag yuppie kids talking about their goddamn feelings while a goddamn monster is fucking god damn asshole fucking jj abrams…(trails off into a mutter) 

Is it racist if Rafiki the baboon is played by Patrick Ewing without any make-up in The Lion King?