Here are some trailers for movies premiering at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah (The Sprite State) this weekend. Sundance trailers can be fun, even if none of them involve zombies or vampires.
Goliath (above)
Though I could’ve sworn this was a porno, the real rundown is "Faced with a demotion, a pending divorce, and less-than-friendly neighbors, a man pins his hopes for salvation on finding his missing cat, Goliath." Yep, chasing pussy is often the only thing that seems worth doing these days. Ugh, sorry for that.
Bottle Shock (after the jump)
"The story of the early days of California wine making featuring the now infamous, blind Paris wine tasting of 1976 that has come to be known as ‘Judgment of Paris.’" I consider myself a bit of a wine snob – anything that costs more than two buck Chuck is flummery, as far as I’m concerned. Oh, and the guy who directed this also did The Sixth Man and Houseguest. Is Sinbad still alive? Email me if you’re out there, man.
Downloading Nancy (watch it here – NWS)
"Directed Johan Renck and starring Maria Bello, Jason Patric, Rufus Sewell, and Amy Brenneman. The tale of an unhappy wife whose online search for someone to put her out of her misery results in a torturous love affair." Dude, does Maria Bello ever have clothes on? If suicidal chicks were naked this often, I’d shoot heroin in the park more. This sounds a little like the German dude who found a guy to kill and eat him on the internet. No wonder it was the only country where David Hasselhoff had a music career.



The Mighty fek’lhr thought Bottle Shock is what a woman gets if she leaves a tampon in too long?
i once gave a chick bottle shock…hey i was told that you couldn’t just to straight in the first time.
I COULD be less interested in Sundance….but that would require effort. So right now, I’m just passively indifferent.
‘couldn’t just GO straight in’-that is
Does anyone know where you can get seeing eye dogs? After seeing Maria Bello’s entries into the ugliest tits contest, I am now blind.
I am having my coworker type this for me, cuz other wise it would look like this:
do3ww antywod wnoa wheh…..
Hey guys. Just putting it out there but if any of you are into BTKing a dude, the last line of this post gave me an idea. 2 words. The . . . Hoff . . . think about it.
bne-BONG!!!!!!!
(for lack of execution)
erswi-did you just come out?
The Mighty fek’lhr thought Bottle Shock is what a woman gets if she leaves a tampon in too long?
Close, Fek – it’s when the surprise suction occurs because they took the cap off the bottle…
Ummm. . . no . . . I am all about the BTKing of beautiful, young starlets. I was just suggesting that the Hoff may be a prime target for any get-up-and-go young BTKers out there that were cool with the sausage. Nah, man I like the poon-tang! Right? Tang! Who’s with me?
Does anyone know where you can get seeing eye dogs?
You steal one from a blind person, duh. You must have them lined up for your special "laying of the hands" healing. Little do they know you dropped the "of the hands" descriptor long ago.
I BTK’d my Real Doll. Silicone smells bad when it burns :(
So this Nancy movie with Maria Bello’s tatas. Whores win yet again?
sorry boys – had to work *cough* suck dicks *double-cough* for a few minutes…
erswi and fek: i’m so down for the BTK on bilson. as fate would have it val kilmer is coming into work this afternoon…he’s pretty b-list these days, yeah? i smell BTK for sure.
My wife and I BTK every time we go out. I thought we were the only ones!
dammit glen: i want you.
Chod-Lance told me he would pay you $100 if you get Val Kilmer’s autograph, but get him to sign it "Batman". Honest!
Before we walk out the door, my wife always says – "I almost forgot – BTK!" But, I’m always one step ahead of her.
Hey chod! See if Val Kilmer will send me a friends request on COD4. That would be fuckin’ sweet when after I shot him in the head, I’d be all like "who’s your huckleberry now motherfucker?!?!"
That’s if COD4 decided to work sometime soon…… EMPTY COLOSTOMY BAG :-(
Chode, seeing as how you appear to be into BTKing the dudes . . . see earlier remarks concerning The Hoff.
"Bottle Shock: The Fatty Arbuckle Story"
You see, we both hate Heinz.
Because you can’t spell "fun" without the BTK.
i’m gonna’ first warm the iceman up with a little standing 69, maybe finds some stairs and turn that 69 into the classic “infinity”…and then, right before my boss tries to get val to toast his english muffin, that’s when i’ll strike with the BTK!
…and if the hoff were here, he could totally watch.
BNE PRODUCTIONS: we put the ‘B’ back into BTK!
erswi: it’s not so much that i’m “into” BTK the dudes- i just don’t like to selfish with such a beautiful act as the BTK. it should be spread throughout the world…like AIDS or techno music.
I even crafted a special aparatus when we BTK. It’s totally concealed so no one in the restaurant will know.
Guy’cha! Will someone acknowledge Glen so he will leave us alone???
ok glen, wtf are you talking about? beat the ketchup or what i do not understand please someone anyone help me, HELP!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!
Chod: tell val we all love his work in Real Genius
Bolonga Toast Ketchup?
morning hombres. so whats the topic of discussion? dicks, btk, the hoff? the usual i see.
::dub runs down the hall in a crouching stance whilst low fiving everyone, he then gets ready for the game by jumping up and down and stretching::
glen…you really don’t know what “BTKing the fuck out of someone” means, do you?
You guys aren’t talking about bringing your own ketchup?
if i get the opportunity, just for you guys, i’ll ask him if batman can punch.
we need to know what glen thinks BTK is and what he does when hes BTK’ing
you motherfucker glen, i love you
I wonder if dooter can punch? He is challenging Dirty Hairy to a fight. (no joke)
DUB!!!! NUKKKAAAAAAA!!!!
*chodin throws his arm into his bert puppet/ dub puts on his ernie puppet…and the show begins*
My wife got tired of saying "Bring The Ketchup" everytime we went out to dinner, so she just says "BTK". It’s our little code word.
BTK sandwich anyone?
well glen…then how do you explain the “BTK killer” ??? mother fucker didn’t give a shit about ketchup!!!
::BNE high-fives the ernie puppet::
good to see you dub.
It’s catsup Glen. IT’S FUCKIN’ CATSUP!
It’s catsup Glen.
You have to be pretty nerdy to use that outdated word.
that would make it BTC. ok, everyone throw in your best BTC Killer def.
bind, torture…cuddle?
Wow Glenn you are very chatty today. Put an extra sugar in your coffee this morning?
dang Pauly you just got dissed
Hey dubs. I need you to close your eyes and bear with me here for a sec…..
Imagine me as the little jap from ocean’s eleven, in the vault, after clooney and damon blow up the door.
Ware de fuk yoo bin?!?!
bind, torture… cupcakes!! yay :D
hellz yea! bne nice to see you broha.
glen, you silly fuck you, every time i watch PBS i think of you sitting nxt to me just telling me how they created this show or how it is all lies.
bind, torture…cuddle?
That is what Mr. and Mrs. The Mighty Fek’lhr do!
Wow Glenn you are very chatty today.
That’s called no one taking the fucking bait to make it a quick punchline. Thanks, fuckers.
JHC, what are you talkin about bro? I was here yesterday. Where were YOU!
bind, torture…chlamydia(sp) ?
backwash, torture-crumbs
But it is fun watchin Glenn fumble about trying to socialize. Well, for us, we don’t work with him.
I mean on live nukka. I was gettin’ my ass handed to me yesterday here at the J O B, G.
haha, on “that site we do not speak of” DB’s dead nazi mother’s son [DB] just asked me what a BTK was?
i said it’s something that two people do to eachother when they really care.
bind, torture chubbies.
Butt Taint Cooter
<thinks about calling posting on FD socializing, lifts gun, puts in mouth, thinks about getting blowjobs, puts gun away>
BTD, Bind Torture Dahmer, because when Dahmer eat a girl out, he really ate a girl out
But it is fun watchin Glenn fumble about trying to socialize. Well, for us, we don’t work with him.
That was the closest depiction of the real Glen to be revealed here yet. He just starts in with a story and waits for a bite. If no one responds, he just keeps talking, adding more clues.
I have had extended conversations with him where my input is nothing more than one or two head nods.
pauly: please tell me that avatar is a young dennis rader?
it is what two pep do when they care, is it not?
*chodin begins to weep*
it’s….*sniffle*…it’s…*sniffle*…it’s just so fucking good to have you back dub.
@Chodin
Why yes. Back when BTK’ing meant something to people.
Normally one person really cares whilst the other has no idea. But, when they finally get together… boy-o-boy its hard to figure out who cares more.
pauly: gawd, look at him! he looks so young and full of death! what a handsome buck!
Dennis Rader BTK’d before it was cool.
Aslan… it crowning in my pants.
::HI-5′S PAULY::
that is why youre up in this piece, you know what it truly means to be dedicated to the art of btk’ing.
Truly a great man. We could all learn so much from him.
Denis Rader I mean, not any of you clowns.
hmmmm, i wonder if dennis rader gets x-box live in hell?
CLOWNS????
hmmmm, i wonder if dennis rader gets x-box live in hell?
Can you BTK someone in Halo 3?
you guys…dooter is amazing today. you should really put your scuba gear on and jump in!
WETNESS PARTY!!
I am vulnerable to being Hustla’d while posting @ work, so I save it all for FD. I’ve seen the dooteronomificness on wwtdd today, but refuse to get Hustla’d for that waste of semen.
*chodin gets down on one knee and remembers the first of us to be “hustla’d” *
he was a brave soul.
I only wish I could get him to fight me, it would be so awesome! It would be like watching Tito Ortiz hand Ken Shamrock his ass over and over, only this time I’m NOT Ken Shamrock!
I would so tape it and put it on nothingtoxic.com, the guy there would have an awesoem title for it like, "Massive Bluto-like God Destroys Mini-Me-Michael-Jackson"
dennis rader is to BTK, what the burger king is to BK.
How can you have a Sundance turd preview with no mention of "Assassination of a High School President"?
You guys like my "dooter’s Dad"?
holy shit- that was you!? i just laid a fucking brick in my pants when i saw that.
You guys like my "dooter’s Dad"?
In a word, YES
Pauly, YOU ARE A GOD!!!!
pauly, if there was anyone that was to rise to the occasion like a majestic phoenix and ultimately our hearts it’s you hombre!!
Dude Pauly, turn around jumping high five with an ass slap! (Not gay)
Which one of you fuckers is tengowood?
Pauly bravo!! very well played
Pauly, you are fucking slaying me! I am going to get Hustla’s because of you.
It’s a good fucking thing that my parents love me. Otherwise I would be out of a fucking job with all this giggling and masturbating…..you guys are on fuckin’ point today.
Thanks. I aim to
BTKplease.